Growing Up

Growing Up

A short story about how others growing up can affect you.

I have been working overseas for some time now because I lost my job and wasn't able to find a job that paid well enough. That has been difficult on us at time but I do this to support my family. I call home every day usually early during the day their time. A few days ago the call went a little different than normal.

My daughter answered the phone with a shy "Hello".

"Hi honey, how are you this morning?" I asked.

"I'm ok" she answered but still rather shy.

Wondering what could be wrong I ask "Is everything ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine" she answered still kind of unsteady.

Now I'm wondering if something serious is going or if she was in trouble for something I didn't know about yet.

"Well then can I talk to mommy honey?" I asked.

"Sure" she answers.

She is still talking rather shy almost as if she had done some wrong. I hear my wife grab the phone as if she was waiting.

"Hey, what's up with Katie?" I ask.

Half in a whisper but in a slightly amused voice she answers "She started."

Not fully understanding I ask "She started what?"

Still in a half whisper and slightly amused voice "She started her period" my wife answers.

WOW, I thought so soon. She won't be 11 until march. I wasn't expecting this for a while. In a way I was expecting to be home for this. I take a minute to compose myself.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"I'm pretty sure and also she had been extra bitchy for a bit now" my wife explains.

My wife goes on to explain about giving here supplies and teaching here the basics. She goes on to explain that she has noticed my daughter being as she said "bitchy" recently and explained to her how to deal with that.

I'm still in shock here is my daughter growing up and me not being there. I'm happy for her to be growing up and moving into her new stage in life. However, inside I'm feeling regret and jealousy. She is experiencing the thing that I never will. She is starting her journey into becoming a woman with this simple act. That is something that I will never experience, something that I can never have, something that I want to have.

Before I lost my job I had expressed my feelings to my wife about how I felt about my body and my desires to become a woman. At first she took it very hard. It was a difficult few years and we almost separated as a result. However over time we came to terms with what was happening and were starting to develop a plan. Then I lost my job and need to support the family, so the plans were put on hold. I keep thinking about this during our call and how things could have been different.

The call continues however I am distracted now but my wife continues with how she is helping my daughter out. Giving her the welcome to the club speech and talking about getting a small welcome to the club gift. Again I am hit with jealousy. That is a club I am barred from membership to. I can look at the part but never become a part. We continue the call but it ends shortly later with me a slight bit put off.

I feel happy for my daughter. I love her greatly and would do anything for her, but I can't help but to feel a bit envious of her as she begins her journey to become a woman.

Kelly



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