Part 4

Chapter 13

Dinner is great. I’m thinking of asking Judy if she’ll teach me some cooking. Mom and I would cook basic stuff but really, when you live in New York City with all the fantastic places there to eat, well we ate out more often than not.

Selma and Fernando sit with Carol and I and we talk about what I will be doing with Fernando. I basically will resemble an indentured servant but since I’ll be helping with all the animals, it ought to be bearable.

Father comes in after everyone had sat down, takes one look at me and storms off under his own personal black cloud. I’m not kidding; I swear that he has a black cloud around him that strongly resembles a flyer. When I ask Carol if she sees anything though, she says no. The joys of having an overly active imagination I guess.

When we finished up dinner, Carol and I go back to our sitting room to watch Mom’s video. To say I'm nervous would be an understatement. My stomach is all knotted up and I find myself shaking.

Carol loads the CD into the player then joins me. Fortunately these are huge chairs and we both squeeze into one. I end up mostly sitting on Carol’s lap.

“Ready darlin’?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be I guess.”

Carol presses ‘Play’ on the remote and I find myself silently crying as I once again have Mom speaking to me and saying she loves me.

Hello Carol, hello my Angel. I miss you so much sweetheart and I love you so much. Now you just stop that. The time for tears is past. Now I need to tell you and Carol about your father and I and why we haven’t spoken since he walked out thirteen years ago. Well he didn't walk out, I threw him out. I'll get to that in a minute.

Sweetheart, I hope he isn’t making things too hard for you; you let Carol help you if he is. He wasn’t always like that. I first met your father when I was your age. Goodness, thinking of you doing the same thing I did scares me to death. Maybe I was too hard on your grandparents. Yes, they’re still alive but I’ll get to them later in another CD that you'll receive soon. We were talking about your father.

So there I was, sixteen years old, going to a boarding school in Virginia and thinking I had all the answers in life. There was a short school break and I was staying at a friend’s house when your father showed up. He was back East buying horses. Heck, he was only eighteen himself, but carried himself so much older.

Well we met and if he hasn’t changed too drastically I’m sure you can see how handsome he is and was to me. We ended up falling head over heels in love and ran off and got married. The result of that was me being disowned by your grandparents and having you. The first made me sad and the second has been the source of my greatest joy.

We were deliriously happy and nine months after we said ‘I do’ you were born. At first your father was very happy; after all, he had a son which is what he wanted. But things didn’t stay that way.

You were such a beautiful baby. Very tiny, but healthy, and you had the brightest blue eyes and of course your silky white hair and pale, pale skin. In time your eyes turned to grey, but your hair never darkened. We decided right away that we wanted another child, but despite all of our efforts we didn’t have any luck.

We finally decided that we would see a specialist; the greatest mistake we made was to see the guy we did. He determined that your father was sterile. This came as a brutal shock. After all, we had you, how on earth could he be sterile? Your father was the only man I ever slept with honey. There was never anyone before him or after for that matter.

But the news changed your father. It changed him drastically. He turned into a completely different person. He got these dark moods and I’d find him glaring at you or me or at the both of us. His looks grew more and more into hate. He accused me of infidelity and said he’d not recognize any bastard child of mine. I pled with him for us to see another doctor but he refused.

One afternoon I came home with you from doing some shopping to find your father in bed with another woman. We argued heavily and I ended up throwing him out when our fighting caused you to cry and he hit you.

Since that day I haven’t spoken of your father and we have never heard a word from him. But Angel, despite all that we went through, I still love the man, at least the man that I married. I guess I always held out some hope that we could get together again someday.

Now as to you, you are his daughter. I’ve included in the package I sent this video in, your complete medical records. These records and the reports included, positively prove that he is your father.

Do you want to know why your hair is white and your skin so pale? Well it’s only because the enzymes in your body don’t produce much melanin. You are not an albino, but the condition is very similar.

You are blood type O negative, so am I. Your father is blood type O positive. That’s a bit of proof, but it only proves that your biological father has to have type O blood, not that Bill is your father. That’s where the enclosed report from the Cambridge Genetics Laboratory comes in. I had the samples we used to test our fertility sent to this lab along with a blood sample from you. The result is in the report but all it says is Bill is your father and I am your mother.

Our inability to have another child? It turns out I have scaring on my uterus that would make conceiving, much less bringing to term a child extremely difficult. You my Angel were a miracle.

Over the years I’ve tried to tell Bill all of this but he has always refused to take my calls or any correspondence from me. Hopefully you two will have better luck.

I love you my sweet Angel. Don’t think that this is the last time you’ll hear from me. I made several of these little videos for you to get over time. You’ll just have to wait and have them as a surprise. Always know though that I’ll be watching over you and that I love you.

Goodbye for now sweetheart. Take care of my baby Carol and bless you.

When the video ends, I just turn my head into Carol’s shoulder and cry. It isn’t the huge racking sobs I’ve done in the past, just gentle crying from missing my Mom. I’m so thankful that Carol is with me. She just holds me and strokes my hair.

Chapter 14

I step off the front porch and the sky is an eerie red. Dark shadows are everywhere and there is no sign of anyone about. There isn’t even any sign of any animals. There’s no horses in the pasture, no birds in the sky. The air is dry and musty and the vegetation looks like it hasn’t been watered in ages.

I start to head down to the barns and when I move I catch the flickering of movement out of the corner of my eyes. Pausing, I’m thinking that maybe I should go back into the house and the light where I’ll be safe. Suddenly I hear the sound of a horse in distress, more than one horse in fact. Going back into the house is no longer an option. I break into a run and the shadows keep pace with me. Other shadows from the fields and the other buildings head to the birthing barn.

Flyers.

The thought of heading to where all the shadows are going fills me with terror, but the sound of the crying horses drives me forward.

Racing into the barn, I find Molly and Flower in the main section of the barn. The flyers have them surrounded and they’re pressing them further into the back of the barn.

Flower is obviously terrified and just as obvious is her impending birth. The flyers are pressing her the hardest, Molly just looks pissed but can hardly move due to being so heavy and pregnant.

My path to the horses is blocked by flyers. Their tendrils of blackness flick out to me like whips. My panic increases and I see that the flyers have managed to separate Flower and Molly from each other. Flower goes down and despite her attempts to fight, Molly is driven back.

I watch in horror as the flyers swarm over Flower’s body, entering her and then the sight of them pulling her foal from her body. With the still born body pulled out, a huge gout of blood follows. At that the flyers fling themselves onto the body of the foal and all over Flower. One heart rending cry more from Flower and her body is still under the mass of flyers.

When the flyers finally move off of Flower, it’s obvious she’s dead. It looks like both she and the foal are just skin over a skeleton, everything else is gone.

I’m weeping and sick over the death of Flower and her baby. My sorrow and fear compete for dominance as a small group of flyers keep me cornered as I watch on. Suddenly the attention of the flyers is directed towards Molly.

Molly is trapped in the corner with the flyers pressing in on her from all sides. Molly’s ears are pressed flat against her head and she looks ready for battle despite her heavy condition.

Whip-like tendrils of black flick out at her and when they land, she cries out in pain but then snaps her teeth towards her antagonists. Suddenly a smaller flyer drops down from above onto her hind quarters. Molly lets out an anguished cry at the flyers touch but then the white in her coat blazes up and the flyer is turned to dust.

The atmosphere changes at this; now I can sense a certain amount of concern coming from the flyers. They can be destroyed.

At the demise of one of their own, the others press closer but now the white in Molly’s coat is glowing brighter and none of the flyers can approach her from that end.

A large flyer comes into the barn and slowly makes its way towards Molly. I’m terrified but the demise of the flyer seems to have allowed me to now think. These creatures can be hurt, killed even. Since this is a dream, maybe, just maybe I can do something.

The light coming from Molly is what destroyed that creature, can I create that light too? As the flyers that are around me really aren’t doing anything but keeping me in one place, I start to concentrate on light, I need to create light.

The large flyer is getting closer to Molly. Despite her courage, I can see fright in Molly’s eyes, I need to do something.

I’m concentrating with all my might but nothing, then the large flyer reaches Molly and a large black tendril whips out and strikes Molly in the chest. She cries out in pain and her legs almost buckle.

I’m trying so hard. I have to do something or I’ll lose Molly too. Tears of fear and frustration blind my eyes as the flyer strikes again and then again. This time Molly’s knees do buckle and in a heartbeat the flyers swarm over her.

NO! Suddenly it’s like a hundred camera flashes go off all at once. The shock of the flash wakes me.

Carol’s with me and trying to hold me and calm me. I’m in a panic as I try to free myself from both the bed covers and her embrace.

“No, Molly’s in danger!”

The next thing I know, I’m running down the hill towards the barn, I don’t remember getting out of bed or making my way through the house.

I reach the barn and fling open the door. The lights are all on and I hear Molly making angry frightened noises in her stall, she’s very upset. In the main portion of the room is Selma and Fernando, standing over the dead form of Flower and her baby, holding each other and crying.

Flower and her baby are just where they were in my dream, the only difference is they both aren’t reduced to much more than skeletons, but where they are laying and all of the blood is the same.

“Oh no.”

Selma and Fernando look up at my entry and exclamation. They both come towards me, trying to keep themselves between me and the bodies, trying to block my view.

“Ah Chiquita, you should not be here.” Says Fernando.

I’m crying as I tell them, “I’m sorry, I couldn’t stop them, there were too many of them and I didn’t know how to stop them.”

Selma hugs me to her and says, “What are you saying Angel, nothing did this to them. The foal was still born, the cord had wrapped around its neck, and Flower hemorrhaged. It happens honey, you couldn’t have stopped it.”

“But . . . Molly!”

Turning I break away from Selma and run to Molly’s stall. She’s there and she's fine but she's very agitated. As I open her stall door, Carol comes into the barn, out of breath and holding her hand to her head.

As soon as I enter the stall, Molly seems to settle down. I’m stroking her and she’s rubbing her head against me when Carol, Selma and Fernando come up to the stall door.

Selma and Fernando explain what happened to Carol and they huddle at the stall door comforting each other.

I suddenly remember Delilah. “Where’s Delilah?” I was scared that the flyers got to her too.

“Easy Chiquita, she was moved to the other barn. She was making so much noise she was disturbing Flower and Molly.” Says Fernando.

“Darlin’, remind me never to get you mad at me. You tossed me across the room like I was a feather. What on earth happened? One minute you’re crying in your sleep and I’m trying to get you to wake up and the next I’m flying across the room.”

“I, I dreamt this. My nightmare was about these creatures getting Flower and her foal then going after Molly here.”

“Oh, you poor thing. Darlin’, I suspect that you heard Flower. She was makin’ quite a bit of noise in her labor, which probably got all tangle into your dream and turned it into a nightmare.”

Not feeling like trying to explain right now about the nightmares I’ve had all of my life, I just agree.

"Darlin' help me take Molly over to the other barn. We need to get things cleaned up here and she needs to be around other horses. Being here will just upset her more."

"Ok Carol."

Carol snaps a lead rope to Molly's halter but when I go to take a step I almost fall.

Looking down, I notice my bleeding feet.

"Oh my goodness darlin', look what happened to you. You sit right here while I take Molly over to the other barn. You need to stay off of those.

Selma says, "I'll take her Carol. I want to give her a good going over tonight. This has been rather stressful for her and given her condition I don't want to take any chances. You take care of Angel."

"Thank you Selma. Ok darlin', let's get back up to the house. We need to take care of those feet and get you in a new nightgown. How on earth did you rip the back of that?"

Checking out my nightgown I see that indeed it's very loose. The girls are almost completely in view. I quickly get things readjusted and as soon as I do, Carol scoops me up in her arms like I don't weigh anything.

Embarrassed I say, "Carol, you don't have to carry me."

"Darlin' you sure can't walk and it's no bother, you don't weigh more than a mite. Let's go."

As we reach the door, Father comes in. He looks like he's had a real bad night. After giving me a quick glare, he goes over to Fernando.

Chapter 15

Back up at the house, Carol carries me directly to our bathroom and sets me down next to the tub.

"Ok, let's get you out of these clothes and into the tub. So while you're doing that and the tub is filling, I'm going to go get dressed and then go get the first aid kit and we'll deal with those feet after we get them all cleaned up."

"Carol, I'm fine, really."

"Now darlin' don't you even think of arguing with me. You do as I say now, ya hear? I'll be right back."

Sighing and bowing to the inevitable, I pull my nightgown over my head then pull off my panties. Looking at the back of my nightgown I see that sure enough, somehow I must have caught the back on something as it has a couple of rips on the back. Feeling my back, I don't notice any scratches or anything, so I must have just caught the nightgown. Poo, that was my favorite one too. Maybe it can be fixed.

Just as I ease myself into the hot water, Carol returns with a small first aid kit.

"Here darlin', let me help you." Carol steadies me as I sink into the water.

"Ok, let me see one of those feet."

She takes a foot and looks it over. "Well, it looks like you ran across some thorns. Hold on a sec and I'll pull them out. This will probably sting a bit darlin'. Sorry, can't be helped."

I grit my teeth as Carol pulls the thorns out of my feet. With that done I let them soak in the water as I wash up.

"Here, let me do your back."

Carol washes my back and I feel like I'm back with Mom. She used to do this too.

"I think I'm jealous of you. I haven't seen a single freckle, mole or blemish anywhere on you."

"Well Mom always had me put lotion on daily. I tend to burn real easy so it's a must. That's probably why."

"You're probably right, still your skin is amazing. Ok, all done. Let's get you out and dry so we can bandage up those feet."

Carol helps me out and as soon as I'm dry, Carol goes to pick me up.

"Carol, my legs aren't broken, I can walk."

"Yea, but I don't want blood on the floor."

"Oh, alright."

Again, Carol lifts me like I don't weigh anything and carries me in the bedroom. Plopping me down on the bed, she starts to examine my feet.

"Well this is downright peculiar."

"What is?"

Grabbing my other foot she says, "Your feet, I can't find any sign of your injuries."

"Well they're still a little tender, maybe being in the water swelled the skin enough to close things up."

"Hmm, maybe. It's still peculiar, mighty peculiar. Well if that's the case, then they might start bleeding again once the swelling goes down. I'll just put some cream on them and wrap them up for now and we'll check them later."

A few minutes later my feet are wrapped up and in some comfy socks.

"There ya go, that should hold things for now. How do they feel?"

"Fine, thanks again Carol. Carol, do you think the tears in my nightgown can be fixed?"

"I'll take a look at it. Now then where's another nightgown? You aught to get back into bed and at least try to get a bit more sleep. It's just past four in the morning."

"Oh I don't think I can get back to sleep at this point. If nothing else my stomach is growling thinking it's time for breakfast. I'm just going to get dressed and fix a bite to eat. Don't mind me."

"Well, I'll keep you company then"

I get dressed and we both head on down to the kitchen.

As we're eating I really feel the need so I tell Carol about my dreams. After explaining that I've had them all my life and how they've been changing lately and then going into detail about last night's dream, I ask, "So, you think I'm crazy?"

"No darlin' I don't. Now they might just be dreams and then again they might be something more. I just don't know. I wish Daddy would get back, this is more in his line than mine."

"What do you mean?"

"I keep forgetting you wouldn't know, Daddy's a medicine man. If anyone would be able to get to the bottom of your dreams, he would. Unfortunately, I'm not sure when he's getting back and I have no way to get in touch with him.

I'll give some people a call and let them know we're looking for him. He'll hear about it soon enough. Now, since neither one of us will be able to sleep now, let's finish up breakfast and take some coffee on down to the barn. There's going to be a lot of work to do down there.

I don't want you in the birthing barn 'till we get it cleaned up but do you think you could help out in the main barn?"

"I'd like that."

"Good, let's finish up then."

After finishing up our breakfast, we fix a large batch of coffee and take it in a couple of thermoses on down to the barn. Carol goes on into the birthing barn and I head into the main barn.

Chapter 16

Going into the main barn, I see a low light on down at the end of the bay. Reaching the end stall, I find Selma with Molly.

"Hey Selma. How's Molly doing?"

"Oh, hello Angel. She's awfully jittery but otherwise ok. Horses are very sociable animals and the death of one tends to upset the others. That's why we moved Molly in here. After they get the birthing barn cleaned out and aired for the day, we'll move Molly and Delilah and probably a couple of the other mares back over."

"Oh, ok. I have some coffee here if you'd like some."

"Bless you Angel. I'm about spent."

"Here you go. Do you know what happened to Flower?"

"Thanks hon. No, she hemorrhaged, we do know that but as to why exactly she hemorrhaged, well I wont know that until I can do a post-mortem. It sometimes happens during birth. It's very sad, this was Flowers first pregnancy.

Say, can you stay here and keep Molly calm for a bit? I'd like to go and check on Delilah."

"Sure, I don't mind."

"Thanks. If you need me, I'll just be down at the other end."

After Selma leaves, I get down the brush from just outside the stall and go in and start to brush Molly. She's calmed down considerably and leans her body into the brushing.

"Like that do you? Well if you keep leaning into it like that, you're going to squish me between you and the wall here."

Almost like she understands me, Molly stops leaning so hard.

"I'm not sure what happened last night girl, but I think it was real, or at least almost real. You showed me that those things can be killed. I just hope I can learn how to do that on demand.

I don't know why no one else sees them though. But you do, don't ya girl?"

Molly just turns her head and blows warm air into my hair.

Smiling at Molly, I hear the door to the barn open. Sticking my head out of the stall, I see Selma just leaving Delilah's stall as Carol comes in.

I see Selma turn her head towards me but I don't think she can see me as the corner I'm in is in shadow.

When they meet they hug each other and then . . . . kiss? One of the horses kicks a stall and they quickly separate.

Interesting. This may explain why Carol is so understanding of me. Why are they so jumpy about being found out though? Hmmm, I'll have to think on this.

I go back to Molly and am giving her a good scratch between the ears when Selma and Carol come up.

"Hey darlin', how are you and Molly getting along?"

"She's a greedy gus isn't she? I've about worn my fingers down to the bone and she keeps demanding more."

"She's certainly calmed down around you that's for sure" says Selma. "You seem to have a way with animals."

"I like them, maybe they can tell."

"I'm sure they can. If you aren't doing anything here, Fernando thought he'd start you off early. He'll be by in a bit. He says that you'll start off riding and to make sure that you're dressed properly."

"Riding? Me? Oh I don't know about that. I mean, I've never been on a horse before, at least if you don't count the times I rode the carousel."

Both Carol and Selma are laughing at me.

"Darlin' you'll be just fine, trust me."

"If you say so, but I hope you have a saddle with a built-in ladder."

"We'll start you off on Sugar Plum, he's small, sure footed and as gentle as can be."

"He? Sugar Plum is a he?"

"Told you we get creative with the names here."

Laughing they lead me over to another stall with a small bay horse with a white rump with brown spots. Small is relative, compared to other horses he may be small, compared to me, he's still big.

Handing me a lead rope, Selma tells me to bring him on out so we can get him saddled up.

Entering the stall, we eye each other.

"Ok Sugar Plum, you and I are going to be friends, right?"

My reply is a flick of his ear. Snapping the lead rope to the halter I bring him on out of the stall.

Selma tells me, "Just snap the other end of the lead to that ring and we'll get him all saddled."

After doing as she tells me, we then go into the tack room for the bridle and saddle.

Selma grabs a set and hands it to me and I can barely lift it, much less carry it. She then proceeds to grab a second set and says, "come on, we'll have them saddled and you riding in no time."

Wonderful. Following after Selma, struggling with this saddle and bridle, we go back out to the main part of the barn.

Carol is out there with a large buckskin.

"Hey, I thought you guys just had appaloosa's here."

Carol says, "Oh this is Fernando's baby. This is Diablo."

"Um, doesn't that mean 'devil'?"

"Yea, but he's not bad, just high spirited. Aren't you baby?"

To which Diablo tries to bite Carol. She easily moves out of the way and smacks him on the snout.

With a glare, Carol says, "now don't you go making me out to be a liar. I have friends at the glue factory and they'd love you."

They glare at each other for a bit until Diablo looks away.

Laughing, Selma proceeds to saddle Diablo and Carol comes over to help me.

"Let me help you with that darlin'"

Gratefully letting her take the saddle from me I say, "I take it there weren't any short cowboys."

"Actually, there were."

"Fine, I admit it, I'm a wimp."

Giggling Carol says, "We just need to toughen ya up is all. You'll be saddling and riding all by yourself in no time. Now here, watch what I do."

Carol then proceeds to give me the 'How to Saddle Your Horse For Dummies' lesson. It actually doesn't look that hard if you have the horses’ cooperation, without that cooperation, I really don't think I'll be able to do this. Maybe if I end up riding a Shetland pony, maybe.

We finish up just about the time that Fernando comes into the barn.

" Buenos dias Seá±oritas. Is everything ready?"

Selma says, "Just about, why don't you take this shovel head of yours out and work some of the sass out of him while I go get the saddlebags."

"Buena. Come on baby."

Selma goes back to the tack room and Carol says, "Come on darlin', you're going to want to see this."

We take Sugar Plum and follow Fernando out of the barn. Once outside, Fernando quickly steps into the saddle and Diablo starts to buck. It looks just like something out of a rodeo. Diablo is twisting and turning, jumping and kicking up is legs. This goes on for a couple of minutes then just like throwing a switch, Diablo settles down and Fernando comes back over and slides off of his back.

"Ah, that woke me up. So Chiquita, you ready?"

"Um, I don't think I can do that."

"Not to worry, this is just how Diablo and I say hello to each other. Your little Sugar Plum is very placid."

"Ok. If you're sure."

Carol comes over and helps me up. It feels different being up here. Nerve racking comes to mind right off.

Carol is explaining how to hold the reigns and how to control the horse. Fernando is adding his comments too. I'm only catching about every other word as I'm trying to think calming thoughts at Sugar Plum.

"Um, you guys, maybe this isn't the best idea."

"Darlin', you'll be just fine. Fernando won't let anything happen."

"Ok, if you're sure."

Selma comes back out and she's carrying several bags.

"Ok Angel, in this bag is a snack and some water, along with some other items that come in handy. In this bag is a radio and a GPS unit. Whenever anyone goes out on the ranch, they need to carry both."

She attaches the larger bag with the water and snack to the back of the saddle and the smaller one hooks right over the saddle horn.

With a parting "have fun" from Carol and a "see you at lunch" from Selma, Fernando and I are off.

After we get past the fence line, Fernando turns to me and asks, " ¿Habla usted espaá±ol?"

I shake my head at him and reply, "Parlez-vous français?"

Smiling he says, "looks like we're stuck with English, eh Chiquita?"

Smiling back I say, "I'm not a banana, why do you keep calling me 'Chiquita'?"

"Oh, Chiquita means 'petite' and after all, you are."

For all of his gruff exterior, with his perpetual smile and laughing eyes, it's hard not to smile around this guy.

"So, where are we going?"

"I like to ride around to various parts of the ranch to check on the general welfare of the animals. Selma is our vet and a very good one too, but my job is to spot problems and illnesses before they get bad. She is the doctor, but we all know that most of the work is done by the nurse, no? I am the nurse to all of the animals on the ranch. Also, if we come across anything else that Bill or Carol need to know about, I make note of it so someone can deal with it, a broken fence or a fouled water hole, anything like that. If it's simple enough, I deal with it myself."

"So you're kind of a jack of all trades around here."

"Sá­ that is it."

"Fernando, why is it that your sister has no accent but you have a very strong one?"

With no accent at all he says, "I'm lazy, and it is how I'm used to speaking, that plus when people look at me they expect to hear an accent, so I give it to them."

Smiling at each other, we continue our ride.

Image credit: 'Doves' by Marta Dahlig