Eric’s inner voice pleaded. Why are you dressing up like a girl? Living as a girl? Why did you agree to meet with Josh? Eric stared at the computer screen Why in the hell would you agree to that? To go on a date with a guy? Oh my God, Eric! You agreed to go on a date with an F-ing guy! What are you, gay?   Camp Kumoni By Anistasia Allread

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Chapter 10
 
Their table in the mess hall was silent. “What do you mean, that was you three years ago.” Dani stared down the table at Rachel.

“Three years ago, I was one hundred- and twenty-pounds overweight. I spent all of my time, watching movies, reading books and stuffing my face.” Rachel related between bites of salad. “My dad made me go to a camp one summer. I went kicking and screaming. The difference was that he sent me to a fat farm camp. I had to start every morning, by doing calisthenics, before breakfast. Then the rest of the day was filled with aerobic exercises. Swimming, weight training, bicycling, hiking, etc… I had a decision to make. Was I going to lose weight and start leading a healthy life? or was I going to gripe and stay happy with my books and food?”

“How long did it take?” Katie asked.

“How long did what take?” Rachel said between bites.

“How long did it take for you to lose the hundred and twenty pounds?

“A year and a half of sweating my ass off.” Rachel grinned.

“Wow! I can’t picture you being that heavy.” Samantha blinked hard.

“I was.” Rachel grinned.

“You know, we could do that for Krystal.” Victoria suggested looking around at her cabin mates. “We all could use a bit of exercise as well.”

Her suggestion was met by a lot of bright smiling faces.

“I’ll go talk with her.” Rachel pushed away her food. “See if she even wants our help. It is a very hard decision to make.”

“How are you going to find her?” Dani looked up at the athletic girl who claimed to have been obese.”

“That’s easy.” Rachel grinned. “Sulking in the woods. Escaping into a book or feeding her face.”

“Can you at least be nice about it?” Victoria pleaded.

“Coddle her like everyone else has? Rachel asked. “Poor fat girl? Leave the poor fat girl alone? She can’t help who she is.” Rachel looked at Victoria. “That is how I was treated until I made the decision to NOT be the poor fat girl. She needs people to be honest with her.”

“You can be honest without being cruel.” Victoria defended. “Maybe I should go talk with her.”

“Nah.” Rachel said. “I’ll do it. You can watch though if you’d like. To make sure I’m nice. Just hang back. Krystal and I need to have a private conversation.”

“Fine.” Victoria agreed. The two got up and left the mess hall.

“Well, we have just over an hour before we have to meet Phoenix back at the cabin. What do you want to do?” Samantha looked to Erika.

“Work on my strip.” Erika eased herself up from the table and anchored herself in her sandal wedges.

“What about you two?” Samantha directed to Katie and Dani.

“We were going to catch some rays down by the lake.” Dani shrugged. “You can come if you want.”

“I just might.” Samantha pushed herself up from the table.

Erika strolled back towards her cabin. A warm breeze blew up the mountainside and caught the branches of the tall conifer tables, turning them into large sails. The red brown trunks swayed back and forth, squeaking and complaining about the force of the wind. The sporadic puffs of air that scurried along the forest floor, like the towering trees, flattened her skirt to her smooth legs. She was suddenly aware that this was the first time that she had been alone as a girl. This very moment, she didn’t have other girls watching her. She didn’t have to worry about suddenly being found out by the tiniest mistake.

She looked around and discovered some guys nearby looking her way and laughing. Erika suddenly felt exposed, vulnerable. What were they talking about? What were they laughing at? She tried to pick up her pace a bit, but in the wedges that Samantha was making her wear it was difficult on the uneven ground.

Erika breathed a sigh of relief when she reached the cabin door. She went into the deserted space filled with the four bunk beds, pulled her laptop out of her drawer and pulled up Eric’s comic, ‘Raven’.

Erika sat for a long time on the bed, her feet stretched out before her. The breast forms giving her chest a more feminine shape, looked out of place compared to the flat under-developed chest Eric was used to seeing. The hem of her skirt resting just above her knees, exposed smooth, somewhat shapely legs. What are you doing? Eric’s inner voice pleaded. Why are you dressing up like a girl? Living as a girl? Why did you agree to meet with Josh? Eric stared at the computer screen Why in the hell would you agree to that? To go on a date with a guy? Oh my God, Eric! You agreed to go on a date with an F-ing guy! What are you, gay? Eric looked around the room, blankly, not seeing anything Oh shit, what if I am gay? Well that would just add to my misery at school, the gay outcast ‘the plague’. Why are you allowing Samantha to dictate to you, to rule what and how you are this summer? Why?

Eric’s eyes welled with tears. Is it because you owe it to Summer? The only girl at school, who wasn’t afraid to smile at you? To talk with you? Eric looked towards the heavens, his eyes closed. Summer? Is this your doing?........ What do you want from me? ……What do you want me to tell Samantha? Do you really want me to tell her everything? That you were jealous of her? That you hated who you were, how you felt things came so hard for you, yet Samantha seemed to skate by in life, that she was talented at everything? Is that it Summer??

Eric wiped tears from his face, closed the laptop and lay down on the bed, pulling a pillow to his chest for comfort. Do you want me to inform her that you despised the way, she always seemed to be handed everything on a silver platter, while you felt you were left fighting over scraps and crumbs?......... Do you want me to tell her about that horrible night? Or what happened afterwards?...... What do you want from me?

Eric snuffed. He needed to blow is nose, but didn’t want to move from the bed. Thoughts of his friend consumed him, overwhelming him. It had been a long time, since he had mourned Summer. Too long. He knew something was up that day. He just didn’t know what. Summer had been in a depressive slump for a week or two, and she showed up to school, smiling, laughing and having a good time.

Eric had seen Summer’s mood swings before, they had come and gone, like a rain, washing away the dust and grime of the summer. He was glad that she was feeling better. She had been through so much the past year. On their way home, she gave him a hug. She rarely ever gave hugs - she wasn’t the touchy-feely kind of person. But on that afternoon, she gave him a hug, and held him longer than was normal for her. I should have seen the signs; I should have known. The next day, when Summer didn’t show up for school, he was disappointed, but didn’t think much of it. The second day, he was called to the counselor’s office and told the news that she had taken her own life. The rest of the week was a horrible nightmarish, haze. He didn’t remember anything of that week. Nor did he want too.

Erika couldn’t stand it anymore, she had to blow her nose. She stashed the laptop under the pillow and went into the bathroom and blew her nose. She looked in the mirror and began to laugh and cry both at the same time.

The little make-up that she had on had run and large dark circles appeared around her eyes making her look horrible and comical at the same time. The tears were because she was afraid someone might see her with her make-up ruined and that scared her. The thought of being upset over having running mascara upset her. She was a guy damn it!. Guys didn’t cry over smudged make-up!!

Erika cleaned the make-up from her face and went back out to the bed and lay down, with her misery. She was crying for a friend who took her own life. She was crying because she ruined her make-up and she was crying because she was spending the summer in a cabin, living as a girl.

The door of the cabin swung open, waking Erika from her drowsy state. “Como estas ustead” Victoria greeted as she entered.

“What?” Erika asked.

“Tu habla espaniol, no?”

“What are you talking about?” Erika asked, sitting up and wiping at her eyes again.

“You don’t speak Spanish?” Victoria asked?

“No, what gave you the idea that I did?”

“Your last name is Martinez, right?”

“Yeah. So?”

“I thought you would know Spanish.” She looked at Erika and the smile evaporated from her face. “Are you alright, Erika?” She asked with real concern in her voice. She crossed the room and Sat down on the bed next to Erika.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Erika lied.

“You’ve been crying.” She put a hand gently on Erika’s knee and gave it a light squeeze. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing.” Erika smiled. “Just being emotional.”

“Getting a visit from Aunt Flo, huh?” Victoria smiled. “I’ve got extra pads if you need to borrow some until we go into town.” She got up off the bed and collapsed on her bed.

Aunt Flow? …… What?........ oh periods. Erika almost gasped aloud. “No, I’m fine.” She pulled the lap top from under the pillow and stashed it back in the drawer. If Victoria was back, the others would soon be following.

“Have we met before?” Victoria studied Erika’s face.

Erika’s heart skipped a beat, then began pounding. “No, I don’t believe so.” She said slowly.

“You look familiar, but I don’t know where from?” Victoria stated. “You knew Summer, Samantha’s sister, right?”

“Yeah.”

“How did you two meet?” she queried.

Think fast, Eric, think of something. “We met on-line and then at a comic con.” Erika felt her face turning pink. That sounded lame.

“She had a real talent at drawing, didn’t she.” Victoria stated.

“Yeah, she was good.”

Steps outside the door caught our attention. Rachel hopped into the cabin and flopped down on her bunk.

“How’d it go?” Erika asked.

“There were tears, laughs, some disbelief, but I think she might open up a bit.” Rachel yawned.

“Disbelief over what?” Victoria inquired.

“That I was once like her.” Rachel shrugged.

“I have a hard time believing, myself.” Erika remarked.

“Here, I’ll show you.” Rachel dug around in her purse. “I keep a picture on hand because most people when they find out, don’t believe me.” She pulled out a photograph and handed it to Victoria, who studied it for a moment.

“Wow!” I can’t believe it. You look great!” she handed the photo to Erika.

The picture was one of Rachel, alright. A much rounder, heavier Rachel. “It only took you a year and a half to lose all that weight?”

“A year and a half of sweat and diet.” Rachel accepted the photo back.

“Where is Krystal?” Victoria asked.

“She wanted some time alone to think.” Rachel stated.

“I’ll go see if she is alright.” Victoria got up.

“Leave her be.” Rachel ordered. “She needs some time alone to think this through and see if she wants to make the change. This is something she has to do on her own and without pressure from us. If she wants to change, it has to be her decision and determination. We can support her and help her as much as we can, but she has to take that first step.”

“Will she be back in time for arts and crafts?” Victoria looked at her watch.

“Probably not.” Rachel lay back on her bed. “I told her to take her time.”

“What are we going to tell, Phoenix.” Victoria bit her lower lip in worry.

“That she is having some bad cramping and has gone to see the nurse for some hot pad treatment.” Rachel closed her eyes. “Phoenix doesn’t need to find out everything that happens in this cabin.”

That's for sure, or I’ll end up in big trouble or worse, across the camp in the guys cabins. Erika thought.

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End of Chapter Ten