The Holy Spirit, III   By Melissa Tawn   Did Dr. Gold’s talk at the Convent of the Holy Spirit do any good at all?

NOTE: You have to read the first two parts of this story to understand what is going on here.

Dr. Gold did not expect to hear any reaction to her talk at the Convent of the Holy Spirit, except possibly from the sisters themselves. The convent was, after all, cut off from the rest of the world. She was therefore very surprised when her boss, Dr. Jayne Mautner, brought up the topic one day, while the two were eating lunch together, as they did every day, at their favorite restaurant.

“I hear that you created quite a stir at the CHS, Catherine” said Dr. Mautner. “Yes I did,” responded Dr. Gold, “but how did you know about it?” “Oh,” replied Dr. Mautner smiling, “I have my spies everywhere.”

She then went on to explain that, several years before, one of the sisters at the Convent of the Holy Spirit had actually filed a lawsuit against the surgeon who had operated on her, claiming that he turned her into a “freak”, who could no longer function in society. Dr. Mautner had been requested by the defense to serve as an expert witness. She had asked the doctor what happened, and he explained that the patient had adamantly refused all psychological counseling or any preparatory sessions with a gender specialist, and had insisted on an immediate operation.

“I told him he was a damned fool for operating under those circumstances,” she said, “and he agreed. But at the time he was caught up in a very messy divorce situation and - quite frankly - he needed the money. In any case, he was smart enough to have videotaped his meetings with the patient in which he repeatedly stressed the importance of psychological counseling in the strongest terms, and he made her sign a disclaimer saying that she had heard and understood his advice on the subject and, of her own free will, rejected it. The document specifically absolved him of all responsibilities for anything that would befall her as a result of her failure to heed his advice. He won the case, by the way.”

Dr. Mautner had insisted on physically examining the plaintiff sister involved, and the Mother Superior at the time refused, citing the order’s rules. However, Dr. Mautner was able to obtain a court order to force the issue, and so was let into the convent for that purpose and that purpose only. The Mother Superior insisted, as a condition, that one of the other sisters be present at all times during the examination.

“It turned out, quite fortuitously, that the nun she picked was in fact a former patient of mine, who was using the name Sister Serena.” “I met her there,” said Dr. Gold, “but I don’t recall her being a patient in our clinic.”

“It was during the year you were on sabbatical,” said Dr. Mautner. “Dr. Hardy, who replaced you while you were away, treated her. I will tell you her real name, and you can look up the file when we get back to the office, if you wish. Her story is a very sad one, I am afraid.”

Dr. Mautner went on to relate how Sister Serena had actually had a fairly good transition. She was no raving beauty, but was accepted as a woman by others in her surroundings and found a reasonable job as a copywriter for a local advertising agency, which fit her abilities. She seemed to be on the way to a rather humdrum but otherwise normal life. “And then,” said Dr. Mautner, “she fell in love with one of the men in her office. I mean really head-over-heels in love. All was well at first, but then the guy found out that she was a post-op transsexual and started to emotionally abuse her in the worst possible way. Within a few months, she had lost all confidence in herself and, literally, refused to leave her apartment because she was convinced the whole world was making fun of her. By the time I found out what had happened to her, and offered my help, she was already involved with the CHS people, and soon afterwards moved into the convent.”

“She is number-two honcho there now,” said Dr. Gold, “so it has apparently helped her.”

“That is not quite true,” said Dr. Mautner. “She was appointed to the position she holds because she is very articulate and makes a nice impression on outsiders. But she really has very little power. The Mother Superior, Sister Mary-Hope, is as manipulative, scheming, and power-hungry a person as she was when she was a national political figure. Some things even surgery cannot change. In fact, it is because of her feelings of ambiguity to the whole convent that Sister Serena contacted me again a few years ago.”

“She contacted you? That must have been very difficult. I gathered that the only telephone and computer link in the entire convent are in Sister Mary-Hope’s office.”

“That is probably true. However, Sister Serena sometimes had to leave the convent to take care of outside business. One time she had to go to Indianapolis to appear before some subcommittee of the legislature that - under pressure from the Catholic church - decided to investigate the CHS, yet again. (As usual, her appearance was extremely effective and the idea of an investigation was dropped.) She called me from there and spilled out her doubts and fears. We finally ended up conspiring together to bend the convent rule, if not actually break it.”

“What did you do?”

“I opened a cellular-phone account in my name, and gave her the phone. She smuggled it back into the convent in her habit. Since that day, she calls and texts me quite regularly. That is how I know all about what happened at your talk. You apparently opened a whole can of worms there, and the sisters talk about it constantly. They definitely find your ideas intriguing, though controversial.”

“Well, I suppose that Sister Mary-Hope can only blame herself, since she was the one who initiated the idea of outside speakers.”

“Is that what she told you? She really is a manipulative bitch! The idea actually came from several of the other nuns, and Sister Mary-Hope fought it with all of her power, but lost in a showdown at one of the weekly conclaves. I suppose that every politician uses the same trick - if you cannot stop something from happening, you co-opt it and take all the credit for it. By the way, I was the one who suggested, through Sister Serena, that you be the first speaker. I figured that you are blunt enough to stir the waters, as you surely did.”

“Well, the whole idea of that convent really ticked me off,” said Dr. Gold. “It is against everything I stand for. Separating oneself from society is never the answer.”

“Are you sure?” replied Dr. Mautner. “I thought so too at the beginning, but Sister Serena convinced me that I might be wrong. I know that the current belief among professionals is that one should not institutionalize social misfits but try to alter the norms of society to allow them to live lives as productive and normative as they can within the social milieu, and I know you believe in that strongly. But does that work all of the time? Consider the mentally weak and the nonviolent mentally ill. A generation ago, they were released en masse from institutions and asylums and set adrift in the ‘normal’ world, into which they were somehow to be integrated. Of course, they were supposed to be under constant supervision and care of counselors and doctors, but as we know there is never enough money available for adequate supervision. Many of them made it - more or less -- but a good number did not, and just drifted under the social radar and into the ranks of the homeless. Is living out of a shopping cart and sleeping in a cardboard box behind K-Mart really preferable to being incarcerated in a closed institution?

There are some people who just cannot adjust to society, even to a society which has made strides to accept them. For them, a closed environment just might be the best solution. Remember that the sisters of the Convent of the Holy Spirit were not sentenced there. They are, legally, sane and rational adults who made their decision of their own accord. They joined the convent voluntarily and can leave any time they wish. From what I understand from Sister Serena, the CHS Foundation awards a very generous amount of money to any sister who feels that her place is no longer in the convent, so that she may restart her life on the outside, and that a few sisters have actually taken this route in the past.”

“Sure they can leave, just like Sartre’s version of hell in his play No Exit,” replied Dr. Gold. “The door is open and anyone can leave hell whenever they want - but nobody does. Or maybe the Convent of the Holy Spirit should be thought of as a cloistered version of the Hotel California. Nobody leaves. Still, I can only hope that, after my talk, some will find courage to head for the door.”

“It won’t happen,” replied Dr. Mautner. “I asked Sister Serena if she would consider leaving based on your talk, and she said no. While she thought that many of the other sisters might perhaps benefit from what you said, she also felt that her case was too far gone. She could never risk trying to live a ‘normal life’ again. I asked her to sound out the others and, the next time we talked, she said that everyone she talked to felt the same way. Every sister she spoke to gave the same response: Dr. Gold’s talk was very thought-provoking and might apply to some of the others, but not to her!”

“They are all in denial,” said Dr. Gold.

“Or they are all brutally honest about the situation,” responded Dr. Mautner. “One has no way of knowing. But why, in the name of some prevailing sociological theory, deny them the opportunity to live in a way which they feel fits them or castigate them for doing so? The whole problem of a transsexual finding her place in society is a very complex one, as you know, and the more options available the better. This includes the option of dropping out of society, if she feels that she just can’t handle it.”

Since it was her turn, Dr. Gold took out her credit card to pay for the meal. She will have a lot of thinking to do, when she will get back to her office.