In the name of the Lady,  © 2007 by Kimby

The story of Frank and what happened to him when God got irritated.

Publication of this story is allowed on all websites under the following conditions:
- The text cannot be altered or shortened. If things are added to it, the reader should be easily able to identify what was added to the original.
- Access to the story is free. This also means it cannot be put on a website requiring paying membership.

This is the very first story I’ve ever written. That explains why it’s so bad. On the upside, it makes it a lot easier for me to do better next time. ;)
I’m not looking to make any monetary gain from this story. If it moves you so much you want to pays someone (frankly, I doubt that a lot. It’s not good enough) then please donate to a transgender fiction website in need of support.

Disclaimers:
1. If reading texts with sexual, political or religious contents can upset you, please go look someplace else. I don’t want to make you feel unhappy.
2. If you think someone else would object to you reading this text, don’t get caught. I will not help you if they get you, but if the story of the consequences makes the news I will remember your courage.
3. This story is fiction. I admit some elements of it are based on my personal life, but it’s doubtful you know me. So if you think you recognize someone in this story, think again.
4. I’m European, so the sport called ‘football’ in this story is real football, not that weird American game. If you live in the USA, you probably know the sport by the name ‘soccer’. It’s not very important for the story anyway. I’m only mentioning it to make fun of Americans: it’s a bad habit. :)
5. All errors of any kind made in this story are mine and mine alone except for those introduced by my spellchecker. I have no proofreaders, editors and such more. If anyone feels strongly about educating me by taking the entire thing apart, feel free to do so.

When Frank noticed the young man standing in the doorway, all kinds of emotions passed through her at high speed. At first, she was of course surprised. While he was clearly standing there for a while already, she didn’t notice him until now. She was happy to see a target for her increasing amount of questions and she was already opening her mouth to start launching them when the look on his face registered.

At age 48, Frank was not exactly very young, but never in his life had he been on the receiving end of such look. It took a moment for her to recognize it, because he was so inexperienced in being the target of admiration and perhaps even lust. When it clicked, she snapped her mouth close again and felt herself blushing in acute embarrassment.

Five seconds later the fact registered that she was now a young, attractive woman alone in the presence of a man. That brought on some fear as she started considering what could happen if that man had bad intentions towards her. Her fear diminished when her brain decided that he didn’t look to be planning some unspeakably evil act, but there was plenty of nervousness audible in her voice when she spoke.

“Hi, who are you ?”

Hearing her voice for the first time was another shock. It surely no longer was the deep masculine voice she was used to hearing. She was distracted a bit, but her attention returned when she heard his smiling answer.

“I’m Peter, former Guardian of Earth in the name of the Lord. It’s nice to meet you Francine”

“Francine ?”

His smile broadened. “Well, I think the name Frank isn’t exactly appropriate for you now. Did you have another new name in mind ?”

“Oh, yes. I guess you have a point. I can see how you decided on Francine. I think it’s a nice name, but if I’m allowed to make my own choice, I’d prefer to be called Alexia.” Once again, she blushed a bit. Never before had she mentioned to anyone the name she secretly made her own many years earlier.

“Of course you’re allowed. Alexia it is then. I can imagine you have lots of questions at the moment. Feel free to ask them and I’ll answer them to the best of my knowledge.”

Alexia smiled grateful at Peter. Then she frowned. She was sure she never saw him before, but somehow he felt familiar. She decided to let it go for now and ask her first question.

“You mentioned a ‘Guardian of Earth’. Are you observing the planet for some far advanced alien race ?”

That got a chuckle out of him. “Not exactly. The Guardian is appointed by God to watch over Earth and intervene when needed. It’s been my responsibility for the last 2000 years.”

So God does exist after all ? I’m not sure how I feel about that. “So Peter, you were responsible for Earth the last 2000 years ? Impressive job you did!”

The accusing tone in her voice caused a brief flash of pain and regret on Peter’s face. “You don’t need to tell me about it. I just got it spelled out for me by the big boss. Believe me when I say I’m not eager to have that happen to me ever again! Besides, that attitude of yours is what caused you to come to her attention. I’d think you’d be a bit more careful now.”

A light bulb started coming on for Alexia now. “You were the one in that white place! Does that mean that other presence was God ? How can that be ? Almost everyone on Earth claims God is male, not female.”

“Yes, that other ‘presence’ as you call it, was God. When I was made Guardian 2000 years ago, God was male. I was as surprised as you today, when I found out that this is no longer true. If things had been going better, I’d have asked her a question about it. Considering the fact that I was being read the riot act, I didn’t think the timing was right.”

Finding out for sure that God existed and that she had actually met her was a severe shock for poor Alexia. Remembering the rather unfriendly remarks about God she made during her life, she also suddenly understood why that meeting was rather tense. In fact, she felt rather relieved that she got away so easy and decided it would be wise to act a bit more careful in the future.

“So where are we now ? Is this God’s throne room ?”

For some reason, Peter seemed to consider that a funny question. He was — rather unsuccessfully — trying to repress his laughter. After a while, he did manage the breath to answer.

“Hardly. I’m not even sure God has a throne room. This one is yours.”

The laughter already told Alexia that her guess was wrong, but the last part of that statement left her speechless. Seeing her utterly stunned look, Peter decided a bit more information would probably be welcomed.

“I guess I forgot to tell you that when God decided to fire me as Guardian due to my rather poor work, she appointed you to be the next one. Since this is the Guardian’s Palace, it’s your throne room.”

If Peter had intended that explanation to remove the stunned look from Alexia’s face, he failed miserably. She opened and closed her mouth a few times, but didn’t manage to say something. Her brain was experiencing a major problem processing those incredibly ridiculous sounding facts. When the shock finally diminished a bit, she managed her question.

“A Guardian ? Me ? Why me ?”

“I guess that was mostly a matter of you being there at the right time in the right place. Your rather forceful declarations with regard to the existence of God grabbed her attention while she was busy telling me exactly how much of an incompetent idiot I had been. She had already decided I was done as Guardian. When she checked you out, she decided you were basically a decent person. You might also remember you had that whole ‘I could run the world a lot better’ attitude at the time, so she decided that it would be a fitting punishment to make you actually responsible for it.”

On hearing this, Alexia swallowed a few times. She got the feeling that perhaps she didn’t get away with insulting God as lightly as she first thought and a small amount of panic was now showing in her voice.

“But I don’t know the first thing about being a Guardian. What if I mess things up ? Is there a course for this position ? Do you have a manual or something like it ? All I’ve been managing so far is a support department. Managing the whole world feels a bit above my league.”

“Relax, it’s not as bad as it sounds. Besides, I’m available to help you since God also decided that my punishment was to be your assistant. She made it very clear to me that I’d share the blame for anything you’d screw up while you’re a Guardian of Earth. You can be sure that goes a long way to motivate me in doing a good job. As you know, I have some experience.”

“Peter, I don’t want to anger you, but somehow I’m not all that confident in an assistant who just got fired from my new job because of incompetence. What help could you give me ?”

Peter looked a bit insulted. “For starters, God left it to me to tell you about your new responsibilities. Without me, you wouldn’t even know what you were supposed to do. My guess is that making us work together is part of her plan to teach us something. Furthermore, in the few millennia I was in charge, I did manage a decent working relationship with most of the religious leaders. Many of them know I’m representing God here on Earth. As you might have guessed I’m Jewish and I was also the first pope. That helped me a lot. I admit working with Muslims can be a bit of a challenge at times, but I’ve managed to come to an understanding with a few of them too. In many cases, it’s mostly a matter of how you present yourself.”

Noticing that Alexia was at least somewhat impressed, Peter mellowed a lot. “Of course, I’m no longer the Guardian now, but I could accompany you to my contacts and present you as the new representative of God.”

Whatever reaction Peter expected, he didn’t think Alexia would stare at him incredulously and then break down in giggles. He considered what he told her, but didn’t see anything in it to cause this kind of reaction. Somewhat annoyed, he demanded an explanation.

“Oh, Peter. I’m sorry for laughing, but do you really not know what you just told me ?”

“Of course I know what I told you. I just don’t think it’s particularly funny.”

“I’m an 18 year old girl now, right ?”

“Well, yeah, I guess”

“A lesbian girl.”

“Eh...”

“A girl who used to be a man.”

“What’s your point here ?”

“Peter, tell me honestly. How many religions would be happy with someone like me as Guardian of Earth ? In the name of the Lady ?”

This took him by surprise and Peter had the decency to look a bit sheepishly. “Oh. Eh. Hum. I heard something about a group of North-American Christian lesbians starting their own church. It had something to do about them not being happy with the current pope.”

That caused a lot more giggling. “Oh Peter, if that’s true then I’ll make sure of course that I give them my attention, but that couldn’t possibly amount to more then a few thousand people. This is a world of more then six billion. Be honest and admit some religions that are a lot bigger would kill me on sight.”

While Peter still looked rather embarrassed, this was something he could address. “You don’t need to fear to be killed since you’re currently immortal. I do admit I should have considered the point about how they would react. I always used shape shifting to meet those religious leaders in a form I knew to be the best at getting cooperation.”

“I’m immortal now ? That’s nice, but I fear that will probably only result in other problems. If they can’t get me, they would no doubt go for those close to me. That means I would need to be careful about contacting others. It would probably be a bad idea if I made an open appearance in that new lesbian church for example. That could endanger them. Unless...”

Peter had mentioned something about shape shifting. If she could do that, then there would be no problem at all! Alexia tried to shift back to her old ‘Frank’ form. Nothing happened.

“Peter, you said something about shape shifting. I’m the guardian now, so I assume I should have that power, but it doesn’t seem to work. What am I doing wrong ?”

“Yes, you should have shape shifting powers. It should also affect any clothing you’re wearing if you desire so. What exactly are you trying to do ?”

“I was trying to go back to my old body as a test. But nothing happened.”

“Ah. Well, I can explain that. You see, God was aware of your obsession with having a young and attractive female body so she gave you one. First I thought it was a kind of reward for you, because you had to take on the responsibility of a Guardian, but then she put limits on your shape shifting. I assumed you wouldn’t be very upset about that considering where you are coming from. I should have considered it would make your work as a Guardian a lot harder.”

“Are you telling me I won’t be able to shift to a male body ?”

“Yes, but it’s more then that. I think it’s even impossible for you to be a plain looking woman. Or an older woman for that matter.”

“Oh.” Alexia did have some mixed feelings about that. On one hand, she was incredibly grateful for the body God had given her now. On the other hand, she had no difficulties understanding that being a young, attractive woman could make it a bit difficult for her at times. Looking young often caused others to dismiss you as inexperienced and unimportant. Being attractive could be a powerful asset, but it could also fire back. Lastly, while she loved being a woman, she had to admit it would make it very difficult - maybe even impossible - to deal with some of the rather patriarchal societies.

“It looks like you will be even more useful for me then you claimed, Peter. At least I assume as my assistant you can still use shape shifting. That way you could go where I would be... less welcome.”

“I lost a lot of my former powers, but it’s possible for you to restore those you feel I should have. You’re also allowed to take more assistants if you feel you need them.”

“Great. I admit I was scared to death at first when I heard what I was facing, but I’m starting to feel better about it. I guess after all those years of claiming I could do a better job, it’s now time for me to prove it. I do wonder what my family and friends will think about my disappearance.”

“You didn’t disappear at all as far as they know. They all think lightning killed you.”

“Oh. I guess that’s only for the best. I believe it would be a bad idea to visit them in this new form. I don’t know how they would react and it could put them in danger. I better put my mind on ‘fixing’ the world. By the way, Peter, since God was here to inspect your efforts in running the world, did she perhaps decide to help a bit in fixing things ?”

“As a matter of fact, she did. She told me she would unleash one of her most powerful weapons on this world.”

“Oh, that sounds interesting. What did she call that weapon ?”

“Guardian of Earth, in the name of the Lady”

Dear reader,

I understand how disappointed you must be that this story ends here. After all, there were no shopping trips, no manicure, no high heals, no awkwardly trying the first bra, no menstruation problems, no makeup and no sleepovers. Hell, there wasn’t even any sex in it or even some kissing. Don’t despair because I promise you now that not all my stories will be this tame.

While it’s possible I will write some sequels later to document the efforts of Peter and Alexia in ‘fixing’ the world, there are currently none planned. I’d like to first try out some other things currently going around in my head.

If you read the entire thing to this point, I’d like to thank you for doing so. If you’d like to help me improve, please tell me what you consider the good and the bad points. I wrote this story mainly for myself, but I do care how you as reader feel about it.

Many hugs,

Kimby