In the name of the Lady,  © 2007 by Kimby

The story of Frank and what happened to him when God got irritated.

Publication of this story is allowed on all websites under the following conditions:
- The text cannot be altered or shortened. If things are added to it, the reader should be easily able to identify what was added to the original.
- Access to the story is free. This also means it cannot be put on a website requiring paying membership.

This is the very first story I’ve ever written. That explains why it’s so bad. On the upside, it makes it a lot easier for me to do better next time. ;)
I’m not looking to make any monetary gain from this story. If it moves you so much you want to pays someone (frankly, I doubt that a lot. It’s not good enough) then please donate to a transgender fiction website in need of support.

Disclaimers:
1. If reading texts with sexual, political or religious contents can upset you, please go look someplace else. I don’t want to make you feel unhappy.
2. If you think someone else would object to you reading this text, don’t get caught. I will not help you if they get you, but if the story of the consequences makes the news I will remember your courage.
3. This story is fiction. I admit some elements of it are based on my personal life, but it’s doubtful you know me. So if you think you recognize someone in this story, think again.
4. I’m European, so the sport called ‘football’ in this story is real football, not that weird American game. If you live in the USA, you probably know the sport by the name ‘soccer’. It’s not very important for the story anyway. I’m only mentioning it to make fun of Americans: it’s a bad habit. :)
5. All errors of any kind made in this story are mine and mine alone except for those introduced by my spellchecker. I have no proofreaders, editors and such more. If anyone feels strongly about educating me by taking the entire thing apart, feel free to do so.

Frank’s brain was making a heroic effort at trying to make sense of his situation... and failing miserably. A few seconds ago, he was standing at the side of the road, in pitch black weather and drenched by rain feeling cold, wet and miserable. But now ?

On the upside, he no longer felt cold and wet. In fact, he no longer felt anything. That was briefly alarming until he decided that he also didn’t feel numb or paralysed, so perhaps there simply was no longer any rain and wind.

Thinking further, he decided that he should at least feel his wet clothes against his body, but that wasn’t happening either. Confused, he made a visible inspection of his body and became even more upset: there was nothing to see. All that was currently visible was a universe of white and nothing else.

Did I become blind ?

It sounded like a reasonable assumption, but somehow he just knew that it wasn’t true. Strange as it was, he was very certain he was perfectly all right. He could see, but there simply wasn’t anything to see. He could feel, but there was nothing to feel. He could hear, but after sharply listening for a short while he decided there was nothing to hear either.

Maybe I got hit by lightning and I’m dead now ?

Now there was a weird idea. If he was dead, then it didn’t sound very reasonable he was capable of debating that issue. During his life, Frank read a few books telling about men and women who almost died but made it back in the end. Some told about floating around in the real world as some kind of ghost. Others described being pulled through some kind of tunnel into a bright and loving light. If he was dead, his experience seemed to be a lot less exciting. There was simply nothing here.

But that was not entirely true, Frank realised. There were two others near him. He was briefly relieved that he wasn’t alone in his universe but his logical mind then started going crazy again. How could he know there were people around ? He couldn’t see or hear them. He knew they were there. If none of his normal five senses could detect them, how could he possibly know such thing ?

Could I perhaps detect them empathically ?

That explanation would have satisfied him a lot more if he had actually believed that something like an empathic sense existed in the first place. Frank had long ago decided for himself that so called empathic people were simply very good at reading body language. Faced with his current situation where no bodies were around to be read, he was forced to reconsider. Unless of course he was going crazy, but that possibility scared him even more.

For my own sanity, let’s assume I’m not dead or crazy. But what does that leave me ?

Turning back his attention on the two ‘presences’ with him, he was surprised how much information he could get about them without having any of his normal senses available. One of them he somehow knew was an adult male. He couldn’t get any feel about the age of that person, but he felt sure this impression was correct.

Frank was also sure that this person had a lot of life experience and confidence. In normal situations, this person would no doubt easily take charge of everything around him. This was certainly not a normal situation however and he was currently far away from being in charge. Indeed, Frank had no problem noticing that he was very scared and the cause of that fear was crystal clear.

Poor guy. I’m glad I’m not him right now.

The second presence was currently focussing all her attention on the first and she seemed very upset. Yes, somehow Frank knew that the second one was female. What was even more remarkable was the ‘size’ of that presence. It felt nothing like the first and Frank was sure this was not a normal human person. In fact, he estimated a mouse would have a better chance of success in a conflict against an elephant then a human could hope to have against her. Calling her a commanding presence would be vastly understating things and the man who was currently the focus of her attention clearly didn’t enjoy it one little bit.

Who is she ? For that matter what is she ? Surely she can’t be God! I no longer believe in a God and even if I did, isn’t God supposed to be an old guy with a grey beard ?

Suddenly her attention shifted to Frank and he was washed away in the overwhelming sensations of her irritation and annoyance with him. He was in awe of her before, but now that he suddenly found himself getting her full attention, there was nothing Frank would have liked better then to duck and hide behind something. Sadly, in a world of nothing but white there was nothing available to use as cover.

Cripes! I really, really wished I were somewhere else. The other side of the universe sounds very nice about now.

The feelings he received shifted and he felt she was now more disappointed then irritated. Frank remembered that feeling from his childhood. He had somehow disappointed his mother and while she was telling him about that, he had been looking at the floor in shame. Now, he was again the target of someone’s disappointment, but while he again longed to look down in shame, there was no floor handy around here.

I get the feeling I’m in a world of trouble here. I’m not sure what I did to get on her bad side but I really hope I can make up for it. This is distinctly unpleasant.

Her attention switched back to her first victim and the feelings Frank now received felt like someone making a decision. She was communicating something to the other man, but he couldn’t figure out what was being said. The feelings coming from the other man where also confusing: there was an overwhelming amount of relief but also a strong feeling of trepidation. That was a combination that didn’t make much sense at all.

It was hard to estimate how long the stay in the white universe lasted. It felt like ages, but Frank had enough experience with unpleasant situations to know they have a habit of lasting a lot shorter in reality then they feel for the one suffering them. After a while he noticed that the communication between the other two was coming to an end. Perhaps it would be more correct to say the big presence came at the end of the list of instructions for the other man, because that was clearly what was happening.

He’s certainly not very happy about what he’s being told, but he’s not arguing. I guess I can understand that: I don’t feel like arguing with someone like her either. That would probably be as smart as pulling at the tail of a sleeping tiger.

The world shifted again and Frank finally was no longer in that disturbing white universe. He felt a lot of relief about that since his brain didn’t appreciate being confronted with so many impossibilities at once. But his relief was rather short. While looking around him and taking in his new environment his mouth dropped open further and further...