Big Trouble!-4 by Lynceus A world, much like our own, but one in which magic, miracles, and even alien life exists. Where heroes and villains alike seem to leap off the pages of our favorite comic books! But for all their power, these superbeings are no gods, but mere mortals, with problems that even the Strength of Hercules cannot easily solve. You're traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound, but of mind; a journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of the imagination. That's the signpost up ahead; your next stop, the Retcon Universe!

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Respectfully submitted for your approval; Damon Zeul, once a geneticist suffering from a bizarre medical condition, now reborn as a powerful teenaged goddess. But for all her newfound power, she is unable to protect the thing she loves the most. Her story could be our story, but for a simple twist of fate...

I've never felt more helpless as I walked briskly along Lena's normal route, looking for some sign, some clue of what could have happened to her. My imagination was running wild, and I feared for the worst.

Every so often I'd catch sign of a red blur, or a green light in the sky; how I envied my friends for their powers! Some hero I was. I couldn't even protect Lena...

I choked back a sob and leaned against the wall of a building. I felt like my head was spinning! Even in my past life, I'd never felt so weak...but no, that was a lie. I'd endured worse than this. I took a deep breath and forced myself to be calm. Losing control wasn't going to help anyone, least of all Lena.

“Hey baby-doll, you shouldn't be walking by yourself in this neighborhood.”

I turned to find a band of young, tough-looking men facing me. Their leader had a cocky grin on his face, and the lewd way he was looking at me was almost repulsive. But I actually welcomed the distraction.

I grinned at them. “I'm just passing through, boys. Leave me alone and nobody gets hurt.”

-

Barbara Allen, The Flash, ran quickly down the street. She'd doubled back this way twice already, but she'd had no luck. Her heart went out to Doris; if something were to happen to Iris...

No, best not to dwell on that. As she dashed along, she saw something that made her come to a sudden stop, the soles of her custom-made running shoes actually striking sparks as she skidded to a halt. “What in the Hell...?”

A parked car had been neatly flipped over, and there were several tough-looking men laying around, quite unconscious. The sidewalk was heavily cracked as well, as if something very heavy had crossed the cement surface. Hearing a groan, Barbara looked up to find a bruised and battered young man laying on the roof of the building next to her, one arm draped over the edge!

Holding her ring to her face, Barbara made contact with the others.

“Flash here, uh, I got a bunch of people down here..it looks like a bomb went off!”

“Oh. Um, that was me. Sorry. I guess I got carried away.” Doris replied in a meek voice.

Barbara shuddered. “Oh man, remind me never to make you angry!”

Jade sighed as she joined the conversation. “Doris, maybe you should take a break.”

“Take a break?! No fucking way! Lena's out here, and...oh God...”

“Doris, you have to calm down, with your powers...”

“Damn it, Jade! I know! I know it! It's bad enough I'm completely useless, but I'm dangerous too! This is all my fault!

“Uh, hey guys? Rena here, I think I got something, police just got a report of unusual activity on the West side.”

“On my way!” Barbara turned and headed west.

“I'll meet you there, Flash. Doris...”

“Don't worry about me. Worry about the bastards that took Lena.”

Oh man, there was going to be trouble. Big trouble!

Meanwhile...

Crawley sighed and closed the lid of the laptop. The swedish porn video was top-notch, the two blonde lesbians were sexy as hell, but...it just wasn't the same. Four months ago, Lee Crawley had been a completely different person.

He'd played football in high school, before enlisting in the Marines. Which he had to say, was arguably the best time of his life; once he got back to civilian life, he just sort of drifted for awhile. He'd worked as a bouncer, then muscle-for-hire, and, most recently, he'd become a moderately-successful loan shark.

Right up until he got really sick. For the better part of a week he'd been too weak to even leave his apartment, barely able to force himself to eat or drink anything. Maybe he should have called 911, but stupidly, he'd been convinced he'd just picked up some food poisoning or something. And then, just like that, he woke up feeling a lot better. He looked younger, he'd lost a lot of weight, even his hair started growing back. It didn't even bother him when said hair turned brown with reddish streaks.

He was stronger than ever too, which made him cocky. Too cocky. He tried to muscle in on Mike Rosetti's operation, only to be betrayed by his then-girlfriend, Maddie, who shot him with a .357 and left him for dead.

He'd liked Maddie too. The thing was, the bullets hurt a bit, when they hit him, but they didn't actually penetrate his body. In a few hours, even the nasty-looking bruise was gone! When he confronted Maddie, she shot him again, but this time, it didn't even hurt, the bullets bounced off his skin, like in the damn comics!

He didn't hurt her; in his way, he'd loved her, but he did suggest she move back to Jersey, and keep her damn mouth shut. Everyone knew about the metas, hell, Chi-town even had a few lurking around, like that Giant-Girl, who was one disturbingly hot piece of jailbait!

Lee couldn't believe his luck at getting powers. There had to be a way to use this to make his life easier, right? He dug out his old box of comics to do some 'research'.

What he'd eventually realized was, most comic book villains are idiots. They dress up in a flashy costume, make a big splash, and then end up getting flattened by the good guys. Screw that! And while the big money was in drugs, Lee wasn't big on selling to kids.

And then he got the idea of a lifetime. He'd bought an old warehouse on the West side, and offered it as a storage facility for criminals. You pay the fee, you get to stash your stuff for a few months until the heat was off, and you could unload it. And after what he'd done to 'Iron Mike' Rosetti, nobody wanted to mess with him.

And then the changes started. His hair kept growing long and shaggy, and his face started to look noticeably on the young side, almost girlish, really. He'd started growing taller, but not wider (save for around the hips, actually), giving him a stretched-out, slender appearance.

His now-invulnerable skin caused him to shed almost all of his hair; hell, he couldn't even grow stubble! He'd started telling people that he'd hired his kid nephew to work for him, and tried to do as much as he could by phone or email.

Then he got sick again, this time with some severe cramps. He started burning up with a fever, and passed out. He woke up two days later, and, well, to be brief...he wasn't a man anymore.

His own mother wouldn't have recognized the tall young woman; she had extremely long reddish-brown hair that went below her (rather shapely) behind. She was tall, too, 6' 5”, with a sleek, well-toned body with muscles that rippled under the skin like a tiger's.

Her breasts weren't too large, which was something Lee was grateful for; even now, she was still getting used to them. She didn't need a bra to support them, thanks to her invincible skin, but they...jiggled. And got in the way all the time!

The loss of her manhood was the strangest part. Mentally, she was still a 30-something male; she found women very attractive, and had to stop herself from staring at her own reflection. But she wasn't wired right; even watching lesbian porn downloaded from Europe didn't seem to do anything for her.

Thankfully, she wasn't any more attracted to men; the idea of being turned on by a guy scared Lee to death! She'd started calling herself Lily, passing herself off as Lee's estranged daughter. It hadn't been easy; her men weren't big on taking orders from a girl, especially a hot one.

Of course, a few broken bones solved that problem, at least, at first (and earned her the nickname, 'Diamond Lil'). Unfortunately, her body wasn't done screwing with her; when she'd first changed, she looked to be in her mid-20's. Which had been fine, but every time 'Lily' looked in the mirror, she could swear she looked younger than before!

Right now, she could pass for a college girl, but for how long? And how young was she going to get? She was going to have to find someone who could help her. Maybe that Jade chick? But first, she had to liquidate her business, one way or another. And fast!

But as her father used to tell her (back when she'd been a young man), you never know when the Devil is going to show up at your door and tell you that your time is up. In Lil's case, the Devil was a 20' tall redhead.

-

Jade hovered over the warehouse, her presence concealed by her ring, an ability that never failed to amuse her. Considering that everything else the Power Ring did was simultaneously 'flashy' and 'green', the fact that it could do anything subtle was nothing short of amazing!

Scanning complete. Warehouse contains illegal contraband and banned weapons, as well as armed guards.

“And Lena?” Jade frowned.

Inconclusive. Lifesigns consistent with a young human female are present, but they are abnormal. Possibly metahuman in origin.

“Metahuman? Lena's not a meta, is she?” Rena's voice broke in just then.

“She...could be.” Doris didn't sound good at all. Normally, Doris could be counted on to be a rock, but right now, she sounded anything but stable. “I mean, I ran some tests, and there were a few funny results, but...”

“Well, if she is inside, and she has manifested powers, she's not using them to break free. I think we should investigate more...” Jade stopped short when she realized a very tall and upset-looking redhead was stomping towards the main gate. Oh hell...

“I can't wait! She could be hurt! I'm going in!” Doris crashed through the chain-link gate like it was nothing, and then started to dash for the warehouse door, growing the whole time.

The guards didn't even try to shoot at her, they just jumped out of her way. Already two stories tall, Doris threw her shoulder into the door, causing it to cave in.

“Christ! Everyone, move in and back her up!” Jade wasn't the kind of girl to swear, but she was sorely tempted just then. She dropped down, using her ring to phase through the roof of the building.

Already a red blur was dashing through the building, looking for guards. Babs didn't see the need to hurt anyone, she simply relieved the men of their weapons, and removed a few pieces to make them worthless before tossing them aside. Of course, the warehouse had a lot of weapons in it...

Rena was the last to enter the building; while she was strong and tough, her main abilities were more useful underwater. That having been said, it was satisfying to send a grown man flying with a flick of her wrist!

But the real damage was being inflicted by Giganta, who was literally ripping the place apart. “Where is she?! Give Lena back, or I'll tear this whole place down!”

Jade bit her lower lip. Was she going to have to take Doris down to stop her? Already, Giganta had grown taller, and she was dangerously close to the roof.

-

Lily ran out of her office only to find a scene from her worst nightmare before her. Giganta and Jade?! “No, God, I stayed out of there way, I didn't put on a costume...why me? Why now?”

A red blur zipped past her, then came back, skidding to a halt. Lil found herself looking down at a girl in a red costume with a big lightning bolt over her chest. “Uh, hi there, I'm The Flash. You're not with these other guys, are you?”

Lily blinked. If she'd had a moment to think, she'd have probably claimed to be an innocent bystander, and slipped away in the confusion. But she didn't really have a moment to think, as a support beam gave way above her.

Amazingly, 'Flash' didn't even notice, forcing Lil to shove the girl out of the way. Unfortunately, Lil kept getting stronger all the time, so the girl ended up flying a considerable distance, before slamming into a small shipping container, and falling to the floor in a heap.

The support beam struck Lil, knocking her to the side, but even it didn't hurt. Just made her a little dizzy. “Heh...it's good to be the king!”

And then a 30+ foot-tall girl grabbed her with both hands! “You hurt Flash! Where's Lena?!”

Lil struggled, but even her strength couldn't match Giganta's. “Ah, damn it, it was an accident! Let me go!” In her mind, a little voice was taunting Lily. Worst. Villain. Ever.

“Don't push me, bitch!” Giganta glared at the woman in her hands. She'd never felt this angry before in her life! She just wanted to squeeze the life out of someone! “Give me back my Lena!”

Lil discovered an interesting fact about her powers just then. While she couldn't be physically harmed, she could have the air squeezed out of her!

-

“Giganta! Enough, you'll kill her!” A green beam of light shot out, surrounding the long-haired girl.

Doris was out of control, and she knew it. But even so, she felt horribly betrayed. Jade? Protecting a criminal? I'll kill her!

No, wait...that wasn't right...why did she feel suddenly so heavy? “Oh God...Jade! Get everyone out!”

-

Rena had just picked up Babs when she heard Doris scream. There was no time to think, she simply ran for the nearest wall, and hoped she was stronger than a cinder block and corrugated sheet metal wall! Just before she hit it, however, a green light struck the wall, and Rena fell through it, stumbling forward several feet before tripping and falling on the gravel outside.

Luckily for Babs (but not so lucky for her), Rena ended up cushioning Miss Allen's fall. Rolling over, she got to see the warehouse literally explode, sending bits and pieces of metal in every direction, none of which, thankfully, struck her or Barbara.

She was expecting to see a gigantic redhead, but as the dust settled, all she could make out (even with her enhanced vision) was the green glow of Jade's force field as the Green Lantern slowly descended, setting a very tall, long-haired woman to the ground.

Jade looked towards Rena. “Are you two ok?”

“I think so...where's Doris?!”

“I'm going to find out.” Jade flew off, leaving Rena to wonder who the new girl was.

-

Inside the ruins of the warehouse, Jade found a large, smoking crater in the floor. Deep cracks ran through the surrounding concrete. But rather than a giantess, as Jade descended, she found a much smaller girl, unconscious and naked, laying in the crater.

Gently picking Doris up, Jade was amazed to find that the other girl was much smaller than normal; about the height of a nine year-old, in fact! “Is she ok?” Jade practically snarled at her ring.

There are contusions as well as a minor concussion, but no lasting injuries. It would appear that she was forced to compress a great deal of mass in a short time. This seems inconsistent with earlier projections on her abilities...

“Shut up. I need to get her to the ship's sickbay.”

Shutting up, Ma'am.

Jade winced. Wonderful, her ring was becoming more of a smart-ass all the time...

-

Lil woke up in a strange room. The walls and floors were metal, and she could feel a faint vibration through the metal. “I'm on a ship?” She sat up slowly from the couch she was laying on.

“Yes, but not the kind you're thinking of.”

Looking over, Lil found herself facing the girl from before. “Uh...hey, sorry about pushing you so hard..”

The girl grinned. She was wearing some kind of yellow transparent visor. It didn't disguise her features all that well, but Lil supposed if you can run super-fast, you'd want to keep dust out of your eyes. “Relax, you saved me from becoming the World's Flattest Girl.”

Lil looked to the girl's chest, and bit her tongue. Not that it hurt, but...

The girl looked down and blushed. “Jeez, you don't have to rub it in.”

“Sorry. Uh, so where am I?”

“Right now? You're a guest on board Jade's starship. Hella cool, I know.”

Starship?! “No way!”

“Ha, I know how you feel. So don't think about trying to escape, unless you can fly in outer space.”

Lil licked her lips. “Uh, no, I give up. I don't know what tipped you guys off about my place, but you got me fair and square.”

The girl sat down in a chair and sighed. “Actually, it was bad luck all around. A friend of ours got kidnapped, we found you by accident.”

“Crap. So now what?”

The Flash shrugged. “Up to Jade. Most likely, CSI will be picking through the rubble for weeks to find out exactly what you had stashed there. A lot of it went up in smoke, but you'd still be looking at prison time.”

“Uh...maybe we could make a deal?”

Barbara Allen leaned forward with a smile.

-

Rena felt an odd sense of deja vu watching Jade pace. They were in the medical bay, where the autodoc was going over Doris with a fine-toothed comb. Glancing at the readings, she relaxed. “It says she'll be fine. Although...why is she so small?”

Jade shrugged. “I don't know. I mean, we know she can get smaller, but it usually takes effort. The best model I had on how her powers work is that she doesn't actually grow. She shrinks.”

Rena nodded. “Yeah, Lena was saying something like that. Doris is actually some immense, super-dense giant girl or something. A big hunk of girl-shaped dark matter, that's normally compressed into, uh, Minkowski space or something?”

“Right. So I have no idea what's going on. In fact...”

Just then, Rena's cell phone rang. Reaching for it, she nearly dropped the phone when she saw who it was. “Holy shit, it's Lena!”

-

Catwoman idly watched through half-lidded eyes as the dark-haired girl fiddle with the cell phone the pretty stewardess had given her. Although she wanted to do nothing more than curl up and have a catnap, having successfully saved Luthor's kid, some part of her mind was intrigued.

Lena Luthor was no ordinary girl! Before Catwoman's eyes, the girl had pried open the cell with a tiny screwdriver and made a few adjustments. Reacting to her interest, the nanites of her suit amplified her vision several times over, allowing her to see what Lena was doing.

Impressive, she was turning the cellular into a 'clone' of another cell phone; despite the fact she didn't have the other phone handy! Not that Catwoman couldn't do the same thing herself, of course, but seeing someone else do it, with nothing more than the tools one would use to fix their glasses, was pretty slick!

She closed her eyes as Lena made a call, but the 'ears' of her suit twitched as it recorded the conversation. It could be interesting to listen to later...

-

Lena closed the phone and clenched her hands so tightly, her nails cut into her palms and broke the flesh. She had to remain calm, even though she wanted to do nothing more than to bawl like a baby. Doris was hurt, and it was all her fault! She should have been more careful! The only reason she was safe now was due to the Catwoman..and her father.

She'd been excited watching Catwoman in action. Whoever she was, she was unbelievably good, and the tech she had was simply unreal! The reactive camo technology alone was enough to make her drool...she'd have to make sure not to mention it to her old man!

And she was also touched by her father's devotion. Evil or not, he'd spared no expense to rescue her. The downside, of course, was that Daddy would want to spend some quality time with her. And with Doris injured, that was going to be difficult.

I should be with her now! But she wasn't going to cry. No hospital on Earth could take care of Doris better, and she knew she could trust the others to keep her lover safe. But it wasn't the same!

Lover. Was that really the word? The way she felt about Doris was deeper than anything she'd ever known. Even calling her 'girlfriend' didn't seem to do it justice. What was Doris to her, really?

It was something she would have a long time to think about.

-

Lena and Catwoman were met at the airport by Mercy Graves, her father's right-hand woman. Mercy was a tall, imposing young woman, and Lena didn't think she'd last two seconds against her in a fight.

True to form, however, Catwoman was less than impressed by Mercy's thuggish aura, and simply walked up to the woman, hips (and tail) swaying sensually. Lena found herself licking her own lips at the sight, hoping Doris would forgive her for being sexually attracted to the thief, who seemed to combine the best traits of Michelle Pfeiffer, Halle Berry, and Julie Newmar in a downright sexy package!

Catwoman sized up Mercy, purring, and ran a finger slowly down the front of the taller woman's livery uniform. Lena couldn't make out what was said, but Mercy's cheeks flushed a bit. And then, just like that, Catwoman slid into the backseat of the limo with the casual grace of a queen!

Lena looked up at Mercy. “Dayum.”

Mercy nodded. “Agreed.”

-

After taking a long, and much-needed shower, Lena got dressed; her sundress was a bit worse for wear, but someone had taken the time to buy her a new outfit. No tags or labels on anything, custom-made, and all in her size. “I guess I shouldn't be surprised.”

She paused to scratch her scalp. Ever since she'd woken up in the warehouse, it had been itching something fierce. Oddly, her hair felt thicker, and a quick glance at the mirror told her that she was overdue for a haircut. In fact, it looked longer than before... “Ok, that's just weird.” Shaking her head, she went to see her father.

Mercy ushered her into her father's office, which was typically self-indulgent. Marble floors, priceless works of art, samurai armor and weapons...it somehow stopped just short of being ostentatious. Her father got up from his desk and walked towards her. She'd forgotten how tall he was!

And then, to her shock, he kneeled down and hugged her fiercely. “Lena, thank God you're alright.”

Real emotion from Lex Luthor? It was simply too much; she couldn't keep up the facade any more. She burst into tears and barely noticed as he picked her up and carried her to a couch.

No words were said. There wasn't any need; Lex Luthor was ambitious and rotten to the core. But he loved his daughter. And despite her better judgment, Lena loved him back.

-

Lena just barely caught Catwoman before she left. “Uh, hey.”

The Catwoman turned, placing a hand on one hip. Was everything she did sexy? “Yes?”

“I just wanted to thank you. I know it's your job, but you really impressed me.”

Catwoman smiled. “You're welcome, my dear. It was my pleasure.”

Well, actually, the way she said it was more like 'Yurrr welcome, my dearr. It was my pleasurrre'; she rolled her R's in a way that should have been cheesy...but was actually just short of criminal, sending tiny shivers up and down Lena's spine!

“I don't suppose you'd be interested in selling any of your toys?”

Catwoman smiled, but shook her head. “I don't like to share.”

“Fairrr...uh, fair enough. I haven't mentioned anything to Dad. Professional courtesy. And I'm not going to mention you to Jade, either. Although...” Lena handed Catwoman a slip of paper. “Here's how I can be contacted. Just in case you find yourself needing my services...or my contacts.”

The Catwoman seemed to appraise Lena for a long minute before nodding. “You can contact me?” It wasn't a question.

“Mmayybee...” Lena drawled with a wink.

The older woman nodded. “Good. I think we could be friends.” She stepped forward and ran her fingers through Lena's hair. Lena was very aware of the sharp talons that were part of the Catwoman's gloves, but she remained still.

“Your hair is growing quickly. Such nice hair....soft. Try to stay out of trouble, hm?” She purred, and Lena couldn't help but shiver.

“I plan on it. People got hurt because of me, I don't like that.”

Catwoman seemed to understand. “It's a hard lesson you learned. That's why I don't let anyone get too close.”

I understood what she meant, but...I'd lived that way before. I didn't want to be that lonely ever again!

-

Doris woke up slowy. She felt very light, and sitting up, she was astonished to find herself in the Starcruiser Jordan's medical bay! Her surroundings looked larger than normal...in fact, the cot she was laying on was huge! She blinked as her mind reassessed the situation. Things weren't larger, she was smaller!

She was wearing a simple gown, likely conjured for her by the ship's replicator. Sliding out of bed, she marvelled at how her feet didn't touch the floor. This wasn't the smallest she'd ever been, but it was still noteworthy. Her bare feet touched the floor, and she reached up to wave her ring in front of the intercom.

“Jade? I'm really sorry.”

“Oh jeez, Doris! You're awake! I'll be right there!” Jade wasn't kidding, either, a few seconds later, she simply came through the bulkhead, thanks to her ring's 'quantum tunneling' stunt. She grabbed Doris up and held her tightly. “I was so worried!”

Doris squeaked a little. “Uh, hi?”

With a blush, Jade put her friend down on the floor. “It's been two days, oh God, Lena's been worried sick!”

“Lena?! She's ok?!”

Jade nodded. “She's in New York. Some asshole kidnapped her and tried to ransom her off to Daddy Luthor. Lex didn't care for the idea and hired some pro to extract her.”

Her vision quickly blurred from tears, but Doris couldn't help but smile. “I'm glad she's safe. Oh God...I'm so sorry Jade! I just...the idea of losing her...I couldn't...”

Jade crouched down to hug her friend. “It's ok, Doris. It really is. We all know how much she means to you.” She brushed a lock out of the other girl's eyes, and conjured a green-glowing handkerchief with her ring to wipe the girl's eyes. “It's weird you being so small, I keep wanting to treat you like a kid.”

“It's okay. I've been acting like one.”

“Doris...”

“It's because you have a big heart that you forgive me, Jade. But the truth is, I could have gotten everyone hurt. I...I think maybe I should give you back your ring.”

“You know, you're the perfect height right now for me to put over my knee and spank. Doris, don't even say that you want to quit! I...we...really need you.”

Doris sighed. “I just feel terrible about this.”

Jade couldn't resist ruffling her friend's hair. “I know. But it'll be ok. We'll go get Lena back from her Dad, and you two can take a little vacation.”

Doris smiled. “I'd like that.” She paused, a look of concentration on her face. A few moments later, it was replaced by a look of shock instead. “Jade! I...I can't grow!”

Jade's eyes widened. “You're sure?!”

Doris nodded. “Nothing's happening! I...I'm stuck this way!”

-

Jade's reply was somewhat unladylike. While that's understandable, I won't repeat it here.

---

To be continued...with apologies to Rod Serling.