---

Editor Note: The images used for this story were purchased and used under royalty-free license* from Istockphoto.com . ~Sephrena
Author Note: Please email me at AngelJediGirl (at) gmail (dot) com before posting this story to any other site. Posting to a pay site is prohibited.

Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address.

*  *  *

The 25-minute limo ride to the hotel was uneventful. It was also quiet. Josh was staying at home during the trip, leaving only Dad and I to make the journey to the Hotel Monaco in downtown Salt Lake City. The band was sleeping on the bus again tonight, while they journeyed back to Los Angeles. I felt sad that they didn’t get to sleep in a nice hotel room for one night, but they seemed to be okay with how things turned out.

The Hotel Monaco turned out to be an ugly looking building. Dad said something about it being a historical building, and maybe it was. But it certainly looked old. I didn’t know what to expect inside as the limo pulled up to the entrance.

"Thank you," I told the valet who had helped me out of the limo a few moments later. He smiled at me with recognition, which I hadn't expected. He was young, possibly 18 or 19-years-old, and could be in touch with the crowd who listened to my music. Either that, or the hotel had made all of the employees aware of who I was.

"You're welcome, Ms. Carerra," he said with a smile, proving that he at least knew me by name and face.

Dad slid out of the limo behind me and it wasn't long afterward that a bellhop had our luggage on a cart and was following us into the hotel.

The bleak, gray exterior of the building melted into a warm, luxurious lobby that felt more like a well-appointed living room than a hotel lobby. The soft, comfortable looking couches and chairs made me want to sink down onto one and never move. The soft tans and browns were interspersed with splashes of blues and reds that lingered in my thoughts long after my eyes had drifted past. The whole area was nothing but luxury that did nothing but indulge all of my senses.

"Welcome to the Hotel Monaco, Ms. Carerra," a man stated from not too far away, forcing my wandering eyes to focus on him. The smile that he was giving me didn't seem as genuine as the one that the valet had given, and I felt that this man was only doing his job.

"Thank you," I replied sweetly. "It's very beautiful."

"We aim to please," he said matter-of-factly. I immediately got the impression that he didn't like working with celebrities or big names. It made me wonder why the hotel would give him such a task. "If you'll follow Brian here, he will show you to your rooms. If there is anything I can do for you, please don't hesitate to ask."

"Thank you," I replied again before turning toward the man he had indicated. Brian was dressed in a business suit, and it looked expensive.

"Right this way, ma'am," he said before gesturing at a bank of elevators along one of the walls. We took a few steps toward the elevators before I corrected him.

"Call me Sarah, please," I smiled at him, and he chuckled. He looked to be in his late twenties, and definitely had a better attitude than the man who had greeted me.

"As you wish, Sarah," he smiled back before pressing the elevator call button. The door opened immediately, and the three of us, plus the bellhop with our luggage, stepped inside. Brian then pressed the button for the 12th floor. I had the feeling that I was being put into a very expensive room. I hoped Dad wasn't trying to lavish me in luxury, because that wasn't what I wanted. I had to remind myself, and possibly him, that I wanted to stay connected to the normal everyday people. That was the whole reason we came up with the Sarah Carerra persona. But perhaps a touch of luxury wouldn't hurt. It's not like Megan would ever be staying somewhere like this.

The elevator rose quickly and soon we were being led down a hall toward one of the ends of the buildings. Brian stopped in front of a door that appeared to be the second to the last room in the hall.

"This is your suite, Mr. Campbell," Brian stated before pulling out a couple of keycards, swiping one in the door and handing them to my dad while opening the door for him.

"I'll check in on you in a few minutes," Dad told me before stepping inside. The bellhop pulled his small overnight bag off the cart and followed him into the room. Brian then stepped back out of the room and started walking down the hallway again.

"You're in the next suite down," he stated as we walked. "The Majestic suites are our largest suites, barring the presidential. I'm sure you'll be pleased."

He pulled another keycard out and opened the door before stepping inside and holding the door open for me. I stepped inside, and was immediately amazed at the size of the room. It was huge!

Brian quickly showed me around the suite. Walking in, there was a short hallway into the living area that consisted of a large couch, a nice flat-screen TV, numerous chairs, a large dining table...I had never seen a hotel room like this. He then showed me the bedroom, which was nearly as large as my room back home and had its own bathroom. I wanted to take the bathroom with me when I left. It certainly beat what I used at home to get ready for the day. The jetted tub would be enough to make the whole trip worthwhile, but I doubted I would get a chance to use it.

All of the decorations were very modern and very expensive looking. I was hesitant to touch anything for fear I would have to pay for it. Staying in a hotel like this would definitely take some getting used to.

"Is everything to your satisfaction?" Brian asked me after we had finished the short tour.

"Yes," I said with a nod. "I've never stayed somewhere this nice before."

He chuckled at my reaction. My guess was that he didn't usually get that type of a reaction from the guests he worked with.

The bellhop brought my bag in and dropped it off, and then waited for Brian.

"My number is listed on the phone if you have any needs or concerns," Brian said. "We're here to please, Sarah, so don't hesitate to call."

"Ok," I said with a small chuckle. He seemed very eager to help me. I reached into my purse and pulled out my wallet before giving Brian and the bellhop what I hoped was a proper tip. The smiles I received as they exited my room made me believe I had over-tipped them. Oh well, they deserved it.

The first thing I had to do after the door to my room was closed was to take my suitcase into the bedroom and remove my stage outfit. The last thing I wanted was a creased outfit for tonight. Fortunately, it seemed to have survived the trip without any detriment.

I then walked back into the living area, not sure what to do next. A knock on the door decided for me. I stepped over to it and looked through the peephole into the hallway. It was Dad. I opened the door to let him in.

"This place is amazing," I said while he stepped in with a grin on his face. "Are you sure we can afford it?"

He laughed. "Of course, Megan," he said. Since we were in private, he could use my real name without blowing the secret. "You're quite successful already. This is only a small expense for you."

"Really?" I asked incredulously. I didn't think I had enough money to call this room a 'small expense'. Dad just chuckled while nodding his head in the affirmative.

"Did you name your fish yet?" he asked me.

"Fish?" I asked, confused about his question.

"Yes," he said and then pointed at a small table next to the couch. On the table stood a fishbowl with a small orange fish darting around inside.

"Aww," I said, stepping over to the table to get a better look. "He's so cute. I'm going to call him Cutey."

Dad smiled at my sappy name for the goldfish, "I thought you'd like having a fish in the room." I tapped lightly on the glass and Cutey swam around a bit.

"The schedule for this evening," Dad said, returning my attention to him. He looked at his watch before continuing. "It's almost 4:30 now. We need to leave in about an hour to go back to the venue. I wish you had more time to relax, but the flight was later than what we normally would take for something like this."

"It's okay," I told him. "If I had more time to relax I'd probably start to get nervous. Right now everything seems so surreal. I haven't really started to feel nervous yet."

"Good!" he replied. "But there isn't anything to worry about. You'll do great, Megan. You always do."

"Thanks, Dad," I said and then gave him a hug.

"How are you doing?" he asked while wrapping his arms around me. I knew he was referring to what we had learned at the airport.

"I don't know," I replied. "I was just starting to realize that I had feelings for Josh. Learning he's in love with someone else was not what I wanted to hear."

"But he isn't really in love with someone else, Megan," Dad said, holding me closely like he used to do when I was little. "He still has eyes for you."

"I know," I replied. "But that will never work. There are too many pictures of Sarah and Josh on the internet now. If I showed up somewhere as Megan with him, somebody would figure out the secret. I just know it. I can't be with him as Megan."

"Then tell him the truth," Dad said, surprising me enough that I backed out of his grasp and stared at him. Had he really just suggested that?

"What?" he said, seeing my incredulous look. "If you really feel a connection with him, and want it to continue, you'll need to tell him eventually. If it means he understands that the two of you are the same person, and you need to be seen with him as Sarah, then you get the best of both worlds."

I just stared at him, shocked at what he was suggesting! "But you never want me to tell anybody! Why would you want me to tell Josh?"

"Megan," Dad said in a caring tone. "Your secret is very important to you. It's important to your career and your normal life. But your own happiness needs to come before the secret. I learned that the hard way by making you keep it from Emily and Ethan. I'm not going to make that mistake again. I trust your judgment. If you think Josh needs to know, if you think it will help, then tell him. The choice is yours now. I just want you to think about your life and how you want to live it. If that means telling Josh, then so be it. We'll deal with any consequences later. I just want you to know that I'm here for you, and I won't be upset if you need to tell him."

That was a lot to think about. I smiled at my dad and gave him another hug. He really had changed since last Friday. But would telling Josh help? It might. But I still didn't feel comfortable telling him about my secret. If things ended badly, he could expose me and ruin my normal life.

No, I wasn't ready to tell Josh. I would just have to win him back from myself. I smiled inwardly at that thought, how crazy was it to fight with yourself over a boy? Then again, I did have the advantage here. I could work as Megan and try to move Josh's gaze back toward Sarah.

"Thanks, Dad," I told him. "But I don't think I'm ready to tell him."

Dad sighed in relief. He probably meant his words, but it was obvious that he hoped I wouldn't tell Josh.

"Okay," he said. "But it's still your choice."

There was another knock on the door to my suite.

"In the meantime," he said while stepping toward the door. "I want you to enjoy this massage. You deserve it."

He then opened the door to display a young woman carrying a portable massage table.

I smiled.

*  *  *

"Are you ready?" Dad asked me for the fifth time.

"Almost," I replied the same way I had the first four times. However, this time I was standing in front of the mirror instead of finishing my makeup. I'd already changed into the stage outfit, and I thought I looked fantastic. I couldn't wait to be up on stage to show it off. The light blue jeans and the white tank top shimmered every time I moved, but it looked so much better now than it had when Julia had first shown them to me. Perhaps it was just the realization that I would be on stage for the first time soon.

"You look beautiful, Princess," He added, stopping in the doorway to watch me stare at myself. I smiled. "Come on, we need to get going."

"Okay," I said and grabbed some of the makeup and placed it in my purse. I knew that I had a makeup artist waiting for me in my dressing room, but I needed to look presentable until I got there.

I walked next to Dad as we made our way out of my suite and down the hall to the elevators. The hall was empty, but when the elevator doors opened I heard a gasp.

"Sarah Carerra!" the boy nearly screamed when Dad and I stepped in. His mother tried to quiet his excitement, and his father was laughing lightly. His sister was staring at me coldly.

"Hi," I said, not sure what to make of the situation. Dad was already digging into his bag.

"Can I have your autograph?" he asked before trying to find something for me to sign. He looked frantic when he realized he didn't have anything to write on or with.

"Sure," I said sweetly and took the photo and marker from my dad. He had quickly pulled them out of his bag. I quickly signed my name, sans any message, and handed the photo to him.

"Thank you," he said excitedly while staring at the photo. The boy was slightly younger than me, with a bit of an acne problem. "We were just on our way to your concert."

"Josh's concert!" his sister interjected quickly. "It's Josh's concert!"

I chuckled. It appeared that the siblings had different favorites performing tonight.

"Don't mind them," the boy's mother told me. "We got the tickets for Jenna to see Josh. Billy was excited when he learned you were performing too."

I smiled. "I hope you enjoy the show," I said as the elevator doors opened on the main floor and I stepped out after Dad. He led me through the small lobby to the doors we had entered the hotel through not too long ago. The atmosphere was completely different this time.

Once I stepped through the doors and into the open air, I was immediately assaulted by a number of camera flashes and people clamoring around to get a good shot. Apparently where I was staying was not a closely guarded secret.

I put on my best smile and waved a bit while staying as close as I could to my dad and hurrying to the limo. The same valet was holding the door open for us and Dad jumped in quickly. I turned to let the cameras get a last shot before turning toward the valet.

"Thank you," I looked at his name tag. "Russ."

He smiled even wider when I took the time to learn his name.

"It's my pleasure, Sarah," he said before he turned slightly red with embarrassment. "I mean Ms. Carerra. Good luck tonight."

I smiled back as I got in the car, and he closed the door.

Traffic was a lot worse during rush hour, we discovered. The venue wanted me there by six o’clock, but it looked like we were going to be a bit late. The limo driver seemed to know where he was going, and he managed to avoid any stop-and-go traffic on our short trip, but it was about five after six when he pulled up to the gate behind the Usana Amphitheater. After a brief stop for the security guard to check the driver's credentials, we pulled up to the building with the dressing rooms.

Once I had exited the car, I followed Dad inside the building and down to my dressing room, where he decided to leave me. He definitely didn't want to come in. What was it with guys that prevented them from wanting to be around anything feminine? I never did understand that, even when I was living as one.

"I'm going to check on the band," he said as an excuse before he left. I just sighed and opened the door.

The room had changed since the last time I had been there. There was food on the table now: small sandwiches, some cookies, fruits and vegetables - it all looked really good. But I was more than nervous to actually attempt eating anything in my stage outfit before the show. I guess I could have dressed in the dressing room after a light snack, but I had opted to change back at the hotel instead.

But those strawberries were calling to me.

"Sarah!" somebody said excitedly from the other side of the room, preventing me from indulging myself. "I'm glad you're here! We need to get you presentable!"

"Hi, Stephanie," I said with a smile when I saw my makeup artist standing near the mirror where she had laid out a bunch of brushes and cosmetics. "What are you doing here?"

"You're my number one client," Stephanie replied. "Remember what Julia said when we first met? I'll be your makeup artist whenever you need me. Perhaps even when you need to be dolled up as Megan."

She winked at me, and I laughed. Not many people knew my secret, but Stephanie was one of them.

"But, on the road?" I asked. She'd done my makeup before my date with Josh to the Tweeny Awards. I hadn't expected to see her here in Salt Lake City.

"Wherever you go, I go," she said. "You ARE my number one client now. If you need me, and one of my other clients needs me, you get priority. It costs more, but your dad thought it was worth the money."

"Oh," I said in surprise. That was certainly good news. Having the same person dedicated to my look at every event certainly would be a good thing. I knew that I was definitely happy that she was there instead of someone whom I had never worked with before.

"Have a seat," she said and gestured to a chair in front of the mirror and the cosmetics. I complied and she wrapped a smock around me to prevent anything from getting onto my outfit. "You're image is pretty well established to include dark smoky eyes and a pink lip. The Tweeny Awards and your posters have done that. If it's okay with you, I'd like to continue the look tonight."

"Okay," I replied. I really did like the way that I looked when I was made up the way she described. But I was also worried that it would look too dressy and sophisticated for my "normal" stage outfit. The only way to know for sure would be to let her try out her idea.

She started by wiping off the makeup I had applied less than an hour earlier, and then proceeded to apply the cosmetics. It took her about 15 minutes before she stepped back to see the whole picture.

"Perfect," she declared before stepping aside to allow me to look into the mirror.

She was right, it was perfect! I was expecting a heavy, dark shadow but she had understated the smoky look a bit. It looked a lot more natural and more like the makeup I wore every day, making it match the image my stage outfit gave. The smokiness was still there - I could definitely see it on my eyelids - but it didn't draw nearly as much attention to my eyes as it did for the posters or even when I saw replays of the Tweeny Awards. The pink gloss she had applied to my lips accented them perfectly, and I could only stare mesmerized at how good they looked.

"I'm really glad you're here," I told her without taking my eyes away from the mirror. "It is perfect."

"That's what you pay me for," she chuckled.

"Are you staying for the concert?" I asked her, pulling my view from the mirror and giving her the smile that she deserved.

"Yes," she replied. "I'll check you again just before you go on, to see if you need any touch ups. Then I'll check again after you get off and before you mingle with the crowd. We want to make sure that you look good for the cameras."

"Cameras?" I asked nervously. Nobody had mentioned cameras to me.

"Yes," she replied. "Don said they were filming tonight's concert."

"They what?" I asked incredulously. How could Dad forget to tell me this! What if I made a mistake on stage and they showed it to the whole country! This was a bad idea.

"He didn't tell you?" She looked nervous now. I was certainly starting to feel nervous. For the first time since early that morning, I was starting to feel nervous about performing - especially if they were filming it!

"No," I told her. "He didn't."

"Well, no biggie. You'll do fine anyway," she tried to make me feel better. It didn't work.

"If you'll excuse me," I said. "I need to find my dad."

"Go easy on him, Sarah," Stephanie said. "I'm sure he had a reason for not telling you."

Before I had a chance to go looking for him, there was a knock on the door to my dressing room. I walked over to the door and opened it to find Josh standing there.

"Hi, Sarah," he said, but he looked nervous. "Can I talk to you?"

"Sure," I said reluctantly. I had a feeling we were going to be talking about the subject we had been avoiding all day, and I wasn't really ready to talk about that. Especially because I was starting to get nervous.

He stepped inside my dressing room. He seemed so preoccupied that the feminine decorations didn't even phase him. "Sarah, I..." he started before noticing Stephanie. He looked even more nervous when he realized someone else was in the room.

"I'll give you two some time," Stephanie said immediately before heading for the door. "I'll check in on you just before showtime."

"Thanks, Steph," I replied with a smile. Once she had stepped outside and closed the door, I turned back to Josh. He looked like a little school boy, nervous about the first day of class. My heart ached to try and take that fear away from him.

"Megan's a good girl, Josh. I've known her my entire life," I started for him. "But she may not be the girl you think she is."

"I know," he finally said, but it sounded more like a moan. He really had it bad for her, me. This was so confusing.

"I'm sorry," he apologized. "You're an amazing girl, Sarah. Any guy would be lucky to call you his girlfriend. I wish I could..."

"But there's something about Megan," I finished for him, grimacing myself. Suddenly, my goal to win him back without telling him the truth seemed a lot harder to accomplish.

"She's...like you!" he exclaimed. I wasn't quite sure what he was talking about. "I mean, I only talked to her for a moment, but she reminded me so much of you. She just...she just...don't take this the wrong way, but she just seemed more real."

I grimaced again. Josh knew my secret! He didn't know that he knew, and he certainly didn't understand it, but he knew who the real me was. Megan WAS the real me. Sarah was just a facade. How could I compete with that?

Josh frowned at my grimace. "I didn't mean that the way it sounded, Sarah," he said. I nodded. I knew all too well exactly what he meant.

"I understand," I explained. "Like I said, I've known her a long time."

"I just wanted you to know that it wasn't anything you did," Josh said with a pained expression. My eyes were starting to tear up, which was the last thing I wanted to do. Stephanie had already finished my makeup. I didn't want her to have to reapply it.

"Thanks for telling me, Josh," I said. "But you’d better go. If you stay any longer you're going to make me cry, and I've already got my makeup on."

"Okay," he said. But he stepped closer and gave me a hug. I certainly hadn't expected him to do that. Thankfully it was short; any longer and I would have been in tears. After letting me go, he stepped back to the door and opened it.

"You're an amazing woman, Sarah Carerra," he said. "Never forget that."

Then he was gone.

*  *  *