Nutrisystem for Women
by Valentine

**I saw one too many commercials for Nutrisystem one night and this is the result.**

I was sitting there one night, watching bad late night TV, a half empty box of cookies and a half empty two liter of Coke on the table. I felt a bit disgusting, I was 50 pounds overweight and not feeling well because of it. I clicked through the channels. Infomercial, infomercial, news, more news, Ginsu Knives, replay of last year’s World Series of Poker, twelve episodes of Law and Order or CSI, Sportscenter. I really felt disgusted now. Wait, a commercial for Nutrisystem. Famous and semi-famous people touting how much weight they lost. Maybe it can work for me too.

I called them, and ordered their month of food, getting three more weeks "free." I knew it wasn't really free, but it was part of the deal. There was some confusion as the saleswoman called me ma'am. My voice is high pitched and everyone on the phone calls me ma'am. Who would think that such a small thing could make a big difference in my life.

I spent the next day, cleaning out junk food, soda, all the crappy food that I snacked on. I didn't throw it all away, some I froze, some I just put away. I knew that I would probably need some comfort food later. It wasn't fun, some of the food I got rid of was like saying good bye to an old friend. Finally I had cleaned out my cabinets, and had room for all the food that was on its way.

After delivery I opened the bill of lading and read it. Nutrisystem for Women? They had sent me Nutrisystem for Women? Oh well, food is food after all. I opened the box and made sure that at least they had sent me the right amounts. It was afternoon, so I decided that I would start first thing in the morning. For dinner, I ordered pizza, one last splurge before the diet.

I managed to go the first week without cheating and pleasantly surprised to see that I had actually lost weight, not a great amount, but at this rate I would lose most of what I wanted by the time I finished the initial 7 weeks of food I had bought. I celebrated my loss by having a very small dish of ice cream. It was delicious. I skipped my snack the next day to make up for it.

By the end of week two, I could see the differences, my waist was shrinking, although my pants seemed to be a bit tight. My arms were thinner, and so were my calves. I was happy and celebrated again. During week three, I walked down to the park and watched the kids play, and the old men sit and talk. By Wednesday I was walking all the way around the park, and some of the regulars would smile or wave. I would nod back and continue my walk. I was feeling a whole lot better by the end of the week, both physically and mentally.

I had lost even more weight that week than before. My waist was even smaller still. Oddly my chest seemed tender and I split the bottoms on a pair of pants, they had been old and probably just a bit worn out. My arms were nearly flab free, and my legs looked good. I celebrated with a candy bar that week.

Week four saw me spending more time at the park, I said hello to people that I walked by waved to others and got more smiles and waves back. I was surprised at how friendly people could be. My pants were now too uncomfortable to wear, and I had ripped out another pair. A trip to the Gap would fix that. I picked out a few pair, of various sizes but couldn't get them to fit. If the waist was right, the hips were too tight, if the hips fit, the waist was too big.

I broke down and asked one of the women working there for help. I explained the problems I was having and she pulled out her tape measure. She measured my waist and hips, then gave me an odd look. She paused, then asked what style I wanted. I told her plain, straight leg jeans. She told me to wait in the changing room, and she would hand me some. A few minutes later she handed me a couple pair. I tried the first pair on and they were tight, I pulled them off and told her they were tight. I tried on the other pair and they were a perfect fit. She asked for the pair that didn't fit, and how many pair I wanted, she would get them while I changed. I only bought a couple pair, if I had lost that much weight in three and half weeks, what would the next three and half bring.

The end of week four and more weight off. It was strange though, I had to buy new pants, but my shirts still fit, and some of them even seemed tight. I didn't celebrate this time, it didn't seem necessary. I did get rid of more of the food that I had saved. I didn't have a taste for it anymore. I wondered if that was normal.

Walking around the park was getting easy, and I noticed that there were a few people were jogging on some of the paths. I wondered if I could actually manage to jog around the park. If I was going to, though I would need better shoes, maybe even running shoes. I went down to Footlocker and told the clerk that I needed some shoes for jogging, He had me sit down and measured my feet. He disappeared and came back with a pair of Baby Blue shoes. I gave him a look, and he sat down and slipped them on my feet. I stood up and they fit perfect. I told him that, and bought them. I was still a bit worried about the color, but good fitting shoes, are good fitting shoes, and I would just be running in them.

I got the shoes home and was shocked to see that I had bought women's shoes. I was going to take them back, but they were some of the best fitting shoes I had ever worn, besides I would just running in them. The next morning I was off, I managed to jog all the way around the park, getting some encouragement from the others out walking and jogging. I walked around a second time after a short breather.

By the end of the week, I noticed that some of the other guys out jogging would stare at my chest while we talked. I stood in front of the mirror and got the shock of my life. I had breasts, they weren't very big, but they were definitely women's breasts. I made a call and left a message at my doctor's service saying I needed an appointment as soon as possible.

Monday, I got a call from doctor saying he had an opening Tuesday afternoon. I took it and did my best to hid my chest until then. I sat waiting for the doctor to come into the examination room, hoping he would be able to tell me what was wrong. When he came in he congratulated me on the weight loss, and asked what the problem was. I opened the gown and said this. He looked at them, and did a little poking and prodding. After a few more questions he drew some blood and told me to get dressed. I brought up my jogging and he told me that if I was going to continue, I should get a sports bra to prevent any damage to the tissues. I was surprised, and a bit embarrassed. He explained that there were a significant number of men out there that had this problem, and if it got too severe, surgery could correct it.

I vaguely remembered seeing some bras at the Gap, and wondered if the girl that had found me the pants was working. I headed over and hoped. She was there and smiled at me, when I asked her for some help. She asked if I needed more jeans, and I told her no. I blushed, and said as quietly as I could, that I needed a sports bra. She looked closer at my chest, and nodded. I had worn one of my biggest and darkest shirts. She led over to the women’s changing rooms. I protested, but she said no one would notice. I wasn’t too happy about that. The rooms were small, but she came in with me and me take off my shirt. I quick measure with her tape and she slipped out. She came back shortly and had me try on a couple of different bras. She helped me get everything fit in snugly, and helped me get a good fit. I bought a couple and a couple of really big shirts.

I kept up my jogging, and the bra helped, I wasn’t sore afterwards, and I did my best to ignore the stares by the guys. But by the end of the week, I had lost more weight and was almost at my target weight. My jeans were loose in the waist again, and my bras seemed a bit tighter. I got good news from my doctor though, my blood work had come back normal. He was as perplexed about the breast growth as me.

I had my final week of food left and was feeling great, except for the boobs. Middle of the week, I went back to the gap, my jeans were too big, and my bra seemed too small. I found the same girl and got more help. She got me some better fitting jeans, and a bigger bra. Then she suggested that I should get a professional fitting for some other bras. She had a friend that would help me, and led me off to her friend. The lady was very friendly and took about an hour to help me. I was very embarrassed about the whole thing, but the bras made me feel physically better.

Finally on Thursday Nutrisystem called back. I told them that I was pleased with the weight loss, but that I had experienced some odd side effects. I described the changes, giving her my current measurements. She replied back telling me that I had close to perfect results from Nutrisystem for Women. I asked her what she meant. She described how the system was a perfect balance of calories, nutrients, other confidential ingredients to shape me into the perfect woman. I told her that would be wonderful, except that my name was Patrick Jones. There was silence on the line.