by Barbara Lynn Terry

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Part VI - Kira wrestles with her emotions.
 
 
Daddy and I went in the house. Katie told us to get washed up for dinner. As we stood around the table, daddy said grace, and we sat down. We had roast beef, baked potato, green beans, milk for me and Danny and coffee for the adults. Katie drank milk too, and then had a cup of coffee.

Katie was a good teacher, and her students had a lot of respect for her. I wished I was in her class but then I didn't want the others to think that my good grades were because of favortism. Actually, Katie was a teacher's aide and she would be a teacher in another year. They always had openings for teachers in our school, because some of the teachers we had either couldn't or wouldn't take the stress of teaching high schoolers. The class I was in wasn't your rowdy class like I had seen when I had to go to the restroom. Some classes were just noisy.

As I sat at the table, I looked at my food but I wasn't particularly interested in eating it. Daddy asked me if there was something wrong.

"Daddy, why does a boy keep asking a girl if he can carry her books, when is told no? I mean not just once, but two or three times and he is still asking."

"Punkin, you are a pretty girl, don't let anybody tell you different. Boys are just naturally interested in pretty girls, and most boys have a problem accepting no from a girl."

"She's talking about Ken, a new boy on the JV team at school," Danny interjected.

"Was he rude other than that?" Katie asked seriously.

"No, he just kept asking if he could carry my books. Then he tells me that Danny asked him to keep and eye out for me in case somebody bothered me."

"I actually told him that I would appreciate it if he would keep an eye out and let me know if anyone bothered you. He's really cool, but he does come on kinda strong. He's from down state a ways, and doesn't know too much about how we do things here."

"Can you make sure he doesn't bother Kira by asking her for a date. Kira is only thirteen and we need to make sure she has time to be a girl before she gets serious, or thinks she is serious with any boy. Does that sound like a plan, punkin?"

"Yes, daddy. Besides, I have my friends to help me too. Daddy, may I be excused, please."

"Eat just a little more, punkin. I don't like it when you are upset and you don't eat."

"Alright, daddy."

I ate what I could, before I lost interest. It wasn't that I wasn't hungry, but my thoughts were on extreme overload and I just wasn't interested in food. Not right now, anyway. After I had eaten what was on my plate, Katie and I cleared the table, washed, dried and put away the dishes. Then I went to ask daddy if I could go back by Jessica's.

"That's right, you did ask me outside. Yes, you can go back by your friend's but I am going with you. I want to meet these young ladies."

"Her mother is really nice too, daddy."

"Why do I get the feeling I am being set up?"

"Oh daddy," I said as I giggled.

"Do we need the car?"

"No, daddy. All of my friends live around us, actually. But we have to go by the old house on the way to Jessica's."

"Alright punkin. I'll get my coat and we can go. I will be right back you two. Don't tear the house down while I'm gone." Daddy was always being funny. I liked him because of that. We walked to Jessica's, and her mother opened the door.

"Why hello Kira. The girls are upstairs in Jessie's room. And who is this?"

"This is my dad. He wanted to walk with me because it is dark outside."

"Well, come in. Would you like some coffee, Mr. uhm..."

"Spelling. I came to meet Kira's friends. I always like to meet her friends."

"Kira, please tell everybody to come down for a few moments."

"Yes, ma'am."

We all went down after I told them why. We went in the kitchen and sat around the table. Jessica's mother introduced everybody to daddy, and he told us why he came with me.

"Mr. Spelling, it is like we told Kira at school, and here. We are her friends, and we are there for her. Mrs. Jameson, we have something to tell you about Kira. She ..."

"That she isn't physically female yet? Yes dear, I know. But she makes a wonderful girl, and you all trust her, so there is no reason why I shouldn't. Her father has explained a lot in the few minutes it took for Kira to bring you all down here. Now, I want to know why I wasn't told this to begin with. Not that I am angry with any of you for not telling me, but it would have been nice to know, because then we could really have formed a nice plan, in case Kira couldn't get away from her mother.

"Kira, when I first saw you, I saw a young girl in boys clothing. I still see a young girl in you. If your mother did nothing else for you, she at least gave you your soft, delicate frame, wide deep blue eyes, sensitive skin and silky hair. And you even have a natural figure. Now that is something that sets you apart from other male bodies. Boys and men don't have figures like we do, but you do Kira, and that taken altogether as well as your attitude, makes you the girl you are. So, I don't know if the girls did this yet or not, but come here child and give me a hug." I hugged her, and my tears started flowing very freely. What she said was beautiful, and I was happy that I had founf another friend. "Welcome to womnhood dear, and don't do anything different than what you have been doing. Now, I say that we invite the other parents over for dinner, and we all have a wonderful get together. So girls, call your parents and tell them to come on over."

When everybody's parents got here, we all sat around for a bit talking. Darlene's father looked at me kind of weirdly and then I saw a sly smile cross his lips.

"So Kira, you actually want to be a girl. Why would you choose something like that?"

I looked at Darlene, then at the rest, then back at Darlene's father. "Mr. Carlton, I do not choose to neither male or female. This is something that has chosen me. Take a look at me and tell me what you see."

"I see a young lad that just has a bit of growing up to do. Just because you are feminine looking now, doesn't mean you will be feminine looking in say, five years from now. No, what you need is a good dose of male attitude."

"Are you saying that my father isn't doing his job right? That he has failed me in some way?"

He got a bit red, and then hesitated a little as he said, "no, not at all. It's just you need time to grow into the man you were born to be."

"Then tell me something, Mr. Carlton. When a boy starts to become a man, doesn't his voice get lower, and he starts to develop muscles?"

"Well, yes, I suppose that's so. You just need a little time."

"Then explain to me why my voice is getting higher, and I am developing a female figure, and my looks are getting more feminine looking than masculine. Tell me Mr. Carlton."

He looked around the room for support, and finding none, he sheepsihly retreated back to what he had said. "I don't
believe that mother nature would make you look more female than male. You're a boy for Christ's sake, and you should act like one."

"Mr. Carlton, I think you've upset my daughter enough for one evening. If you are so narrow minded as to think Kira has done something to alter her natural looks, then I challenge you to prove it."

"Mr. Spelling, how can I prove it?"

"Certainly, sir, you have a doctor you trust to make sure the report swings your way. I have a doctor like that too. But what would you say to an independent doctor that neither of us knows, appointed by the court? Would you then back off insulting my daughter? Mr. Carlton?"

"Uh, oh, uh, yes, of course. Uh we should get that as quickly as possible then. I still say all he needs is a little more time and he will grow out of this phase."

"Mr. Carlton, just for the record, sir. What is your line of work?"

"I'm a psychologist."

"That explains a lot then. I understand that psychiatrists and psychologists still adhere to the concepts of Sigmund Freud whose concepts of mental illness based on sex are no longer valid."

"Freud was a great man, because of him we know a lot more about the human mind, than our predecessors did."

"You call insulting a teenager the work of a great man? First of all, Kira has been developing like this for years, without any outside help. Just what your personal preferences are, Mr. Carlton, I can see with my own two ears. Your mind is narrow and closed to anything that might shed light on what transsexualism is really all about. You're one of those men that would force your life onto your son, not realizing that he is a uiniquley different person than you are. Other than Darlene, Mr. Carlton, do you have any other children?"

"Yes, I have three girls. Darlene, Mary, and Kelly. And they are fine upstanding girls too. Maybe by associating with Darlene...Kira, is it? Will be able to show his male side more. I will not change my mind about this. Wanting to be female from a male body is a very serious mental aberration."

"Then sir, we will let the court decide. I will file the papers right away tomorrow, and you will see that not only are you wrong, but that you are also a bigot, who must have things his own way. Well, you won't get them here. If you came here to insult Kira, then we are leaving."

"You can't run away from the truth, Mr. Spelling. Kira is a boy and needs to grow up to be the man he is intended to be."

"You are so right, Mr. Carlton. We can't run away from the truth, we also can't run away from ourselves either, and if Kira changed roles right now, because of what you said, that is exactly what she would be doing...running away from herself. I don't think that is what Kira wants to do, and I am not going to force her to be someone she is not."

"Then stop forcing him to be the girl that he isn't. All you are doing is harming Kira's fragile mind."

"I'm not forcing Kira to be anybody or anything. What Kira is, is up to her, and only her. She may be thirteen years old, but she is way more intellectual than her years show. Just because somebody lives opposite to how they were born physcally, does not make them mentally ill, or on the verge of becoming so. No Mr. Carlton, you are a narrow minded bigot, and not everything goes your way."

"Mrs. Jameson, what do you think?"

"Don't involve me, Mr. Carlton, you started this, now see if you can finish it. So far the tally is in favor of Mr. Spelling."

He looked thoughtful for a moment, then he turned to Darlene's mother. "Gwen, I'm right, aren't I?"

Gwen Carlton was a beautiful woman, and she had radiant light auburn hair, and emerald green eyes. Her skin was tanned from a tanning salon, and she wore magnificent clothes.

"Well Bill, all I can say is, you don't need any help from me. You are quite adept at making a fool out yourself without any help from anybody."

"What? Did you just call me a fool? What is this? I make a good home for you and the girls, and this is how you pay me back! You know Gwen we have discussed divorce before. If I leave you, what will you have?"

"Pffft, go away Bill. I have my job to pay the bills and then some. I wish you would leave, then we can have a peaceful house, instead of one where an ogre lives, ready to pounce on innocent strangers." He looked at his wife with a shocked expression. "Yes Bill, you are an ogre, and the girls and I have talked more than once about leaving you. Why do you think Darlene spends a lot of time here studying? She doesn't like the way you bully everybody."

He looked at Darlene, "Darlene, punkin, is this true?"

"Well daddy, mother and I have come to an agreement that I will come home when the shouting is over. Mary and Kelly stay out with their boyfriends to just before they are supposed to be home. You have no idea the fear and anxiety you place on the whole household."

"Well, this is a really nice dinner. Isn't it? Here I am trying to counsel this young person, and all I get is nothing but flak from everyone. You can keep your precious court appointed doctor, Mr. Spelling, I have had enough. And Gwen, call your lawyer, because after tonight, we are no longer married."

"Excuse me, Mr. Carlton. First of all, nobody asked you for your counsel. Second of all, you are the one who started everything, and third, I don't care what you think, I'm a girl, and that is how I am going to live my life. I don't need someone who has hate in his heart to tell me what is right, or what is wrong. I happen to know both. So before you walk out on something as precious as your family, just remember this. This is not the world according to Carlton, and the world doesn't revolve around William Carlton, either. If you leave your family, they will not lose any sleep over the fact that you're gone. In fact, I'm willing to bet they will better off for it. If you don't believe me, ask them."

He got up, all but knocking the chair he was sitting in, over. He grabbed his coat, mumbling something under his breath, and stormed out the door. A few moments later, we heard the squeal of car tires out on the street. We all got up and looked out of the window. Darlene's father was lying in the street, in front of a car. The snow was just starting to come down, and Jessica's mother called for the ambulance.

Daddy went out to talk to the man who was driving the car. What he was told we couldn't hear, but when the ambulance came, the police came too. They asked the man and daddy a few questions, then they taped off the area. A detective that daddy knew came and talked to him. What they said, I didn't hear, but apparently, Mr. Carlton was not on the well liked side. I saw the detective shake his head. Daddy came back in, shivering from the cold.

"You're chilled to the bone. Come on, let's get you by a warm oven."

We pestered daddy about what he found out about the accident, and then finally gave in and told us.

"Jake Petersen is a friend of mine, and he was driving the car. He said Mr. Carlton just walked out in front of his car, and that he didn't have time to really stop. Jake said it looked like he was angry and swearing under his breath. I told the police what had happened in here, and why he was so angry, and John Whitlow, the detective I was talking to, said that he hopes the ... well, that he is laid up for a while."

"Jessica, get Mr. Spelling a cup of nice hot cocoa."

"Yes, mother."

"Kira," Daddy said, looking her in the eyes. "You have done nothing wrong. No one is to blame for this exept Mr. Carlton. You said what any self respecting person would say in something like this. I am proud of you, punkin."

"Thank you, daddy," I said, as I hugged him and tears started to come again.

When the dinner was over, we girls cleaned up, while the men talked among themselves. When the kitchen was cleaned up, everybody sat in the living room, until it was time to go. There were hugs all around, and wishes for me never to change who I am, and then everybody went to their houses. I was thinking on the way home, what would Mr. Carlton have done, if he had seen me walking home alone? It scared me to even think about having such a person living in our neighborhood.
 

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End of Part VI
 
 
To Be Continued...