previously read:

The Mâitre d’ holds the chair for Mom, Tony for Janet, and Jack for me. I sit the way I have been practicing, noting a number of others, men and women, in the room watching our procession and seating. Our waiter comes to the table about a minute later and asks if we would like any refreshments before the meal. Mom and Janet each take a glass of red wine.

I thank him, but say I will be just fine with water until the meal. Tony asks for a beer and Janet’s eyes look at Mom and myself then go toward the ceiling. Jack declines also saying water is fine. The waiter scurries off between the tables reminding me of a mouse navigating a maze. Jack leans over and whispers,” I hope you don’t mind but I don’t want anything to drink tonight.”

I lean over to his ear and whisper back, “Not at all. I seldom do myself. Thank you for being so considerate.”

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Admin Note: Originally published on BigCloset TopShelf by T D Aldoennetti on Tue, 2008/11/04 - 6:07pm, Air Force Sweetheart -- TacPzlSolGp Chapter 13 is revised and reposted on Tue, 2009/12/15 - 10:47 AM ~Sephrena

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Ever onward:

Chapter 13

 

As we wait for our beverages, we watch a small dance band just setting up at the end of the room. All the dining tables here are on a carpeted floor which surrounds a small hardwood dance floor located in front of the band. There is enough room for perhaps ten couples to move freely, twenty if they are a bit more restrained. If every table has one couple dancing, there would barely be enough room for them to shuffle around slowly, something like the riders on a Tokyo commuter train at rush hour. We place our meal orders as the band ends its warm up. In a minute, quiet music begins to fill the room.

Jack asks me if I would like to dance and, startled, I look at Mom, who just looks back, giving me no clue.

“May I leave my purse here, Mom?” I say, resigned to my fate.

She smiles at us both and says, “Go ahead, you two.”

Obviously, I’m making the right decision.

Jack leads me out to the dance floor and we begin to sway to the music. As we are the only couple dancing at the moment, it’s easy, and I suddenly realize I’m enjoying it. I snuggle in a little closer as we follow the music and when the piece stops we wait for another to begin. Slightly faster in tempo, the band plays for us and once again my mind retreats to the pleasure of dancing with someone who is good at it, leads me gently, and who smells nice. Before I realize what I’m doing, I have my head on his shoulder and I close my eyes, just following his lead.

It seems like it’s hardly started when the second piece is ending and I open my eyes to see several other couples on the dance floor. We dance out a third selection, my head again on his shoulder, before Jack leads us back to the table and holds my chair as I sit down.

I thank him for the dances. Mom looks at me and I look at Jack, then back at her and flash my eyebrow. Tony asks Janet to dance and Mom asks me if I would mind if Jack dances with her maybe just once. I nod my agreement and they get up and go out to the floor. I watch Mom and see she is having fun.

They are into their second dance when our waiter arrives with the food and I let him know who ordered what. I tell him I would like tea but ask that he could perhaps return to learn what everyone would like to drink, “My tea can wait until everyone orders beverages.”

He thanks me and as the music dies down I give Mom and Janet the high sign, ‘Soup’s on.’ Everyone returns to the table and after Mom thanks Jack for the dances, I tell them, “The waiter will be back shortly for our beverage orders.”

We begin our meal after I say Grace at Mom’s unspoken insistence (she flashed her eyebrows at me again) and then we begin the meal. The waiter returns almost instantly and takes our beverage orders. It isn’t long before he returns again with my tea and the other drinks. As we all eat, we begin quietly talking and I’m having a great time being one of the girls. I am so absorbed in what becomes an animated discussion that I completely forget I am here on a date with a man and I’m dressed in an evening gown.

I notice Mom flashing me a warning and think about what I’m doing and where I am, then slowly bring myself back up to a more ladylike posture. I’d been leaning into the conversation too much, but try to make my recovery look natural, as though I had been attempting to emphasize a point. Mom flashes me a smile and quick eyebrow. I give her a smile back with my eyes, motioning them in a question about Jack. She gives me a little nod. I guess he had been paying attention to what I was doing.

Ladylike once again, I continue to cut my food and take small bites. The chicken is luscious. Just the right blend of herbs and spices. I try to decide what was used in the preparation. Janet has the fish and she is devouring it, delicately of course, so it must be good also. Tony had almost finished whatever it was he’d had, just gulping it down.

Jack is a little more reserved. He too has the fish and he is a little further along in his meal than I am, but he is acting the gentleman and trying not to get too far ahead of me. I look at Mom’s plate and try to decide what she is eating.

“How is it, Mom?” as I throw her my ‘what the heck is that?’ look.

“The Lamb is delicious, Lucy. You should have tried it.”

“I’m quite happy with the chicken. I wonder if they would give us the recipe?”

Mom allows a smile to drift across her face, “It wouldn’t hurt to ask. The worst is they might say no.”

Janet throws a glance at me like, ‘Why do you want the recipe?’ I throw one back, ‘I like to cook good food.’ It suddenly dawns on me that I am conversing with Mom and Janet in women’s ‘hidden’ language. It is passing over the heads of the men as though nothing was there. I give Mom and Janet a ‘thank you, I love you’ smile with my eyes and a hint on my mouth. They both throw one back to me. I dig for my handkerchief and dab at my eyes. Excusing myself to go to the powder room I ask Jack if he would, “be certain they don’t remove my plate, I’m not quite finished.”

As I depart the table, Janet gets up and follows me. We go in together and then have a quick sister to sister conversation as I splash a little water on my face and pat it dry with a paper towel and then my handkerchief.

Sis hugs me, “Welcome to the girl’s club, Sis.”

I hug back and break out into tears again, “I’m becoming an emotional mess.”

“Lucy, you’re becoming a woman. The men call us the ‘weaker’ sex and they don’t mean because we aren’t as physically strong. They mean it because we let our emotions show. They don’t understand that the emotions allow us to cope with stress and to intensely love or care. Those emotions allow us to communicate and we can share a bond with every other woman out there, no questions asked, no explanations needed. We’re all sisters.

“You’re a ‘mess,’ as you call it, because you’re learning all this in a crash course. You’re packing years of emotional study and development into a few short days. You’re jumping from a baby to a woman, bypassing the years which would allow you to learn and come to grips with the emotions you are now experiencing. Don’t worry, you’re doing great. As I said, ‘Welcome to the girl’s club, Sis,’ ”

Again I break out in tears. A few minutes and I again splash my face and pat it dry. I carefully fix my makeup and we go back to the table as though nothing has happened.

Mom gives me an ‘are you all right?’ look.

“I’ve started my little girl’s problem, Mom.” I tell her quietly, just loud enough for Jack to hear if he is listening.

“Do we need to leave?”

“No, it’s okay. I’ve handled it.”

Mom looks at Janet who flashes something to Mom that I didn’t catch and Mom looks at me with some concern before she allows the smile to return to her face as she picks up our conversation like nothing ever happened. Boy, have I got a lot to learn.

I have a feeling that Mom guided the evening into a close a little faster than was originally planned. Jack drives me home following Mom. While Tony and Janet go on to their home together. We arrive at the house and I thank Jack for a wonderful evening, apologizing for having to cut it short.

“Don’t worry about it. It was fun. I liked taking you out. In fact I had a lot better time than I usually do. Thanks for letting me do it.” He leans over and kisses my cheek. I put my hand up to it and then impulsively give him a little kiss on the lips before I begin to open the door to get out of the car.

“Wait.”

He gets out and goes around opening my door for me. I flow out of the car and he takes my hand and kisses it. “Thanks for a great evening, Lucy. I wish we had time for a few more but we both have commitments. Maybe we’ll run into each other again sometime.”

I thank him and tell him I really enjoyed it. I study his face for a few seconds before turning, walking up to the front door and going in, wondering briefly where Happy has gotten off to and then remembering everything.

A minute later I hear Jack drive off. Mom calls down, “Lucy, could you come up here?”

I can’t guess at her mood from her voice; she doesn’t sound mad or anything. I go up and find her sitting on my bed, the jacket Janet borrowed is on the bed behind her. She motions for me to sit down. I flow onto the bed beside her. She wraps an arm around me, “Do you want to talk about it?”

“About what, Mom?”

“About your emotions. About what you are feeling. About finally becoming a woman.”

I think about that as Mom watches my face.

“You really enjoyed it tonight, didn’t you, Lucy?”

“Yea…. Yes, Mom. I enjoyed it. I liked being able to communicate with you and Janet. I really liked that. And I liked the dancing. I just… I’ll… Mommm. What’s wrong with me?”

“Not a thing, baby. Not a thing. You just took your first big step to becoming a woman and it’s a little overwhelming. You haven’t had years to prepare for it like most girls. I thought it might be best if you experienced it while Janet and I are still close enough to lend you emotional support.”

Turning to look at my Mom, my tears again beginning to flow, “You know something, Mom? You’re really smart.”

She smiles a thank you at me.

“And that’s part of it, Mom. What you just did. It’s like a secret language only women know. I really enjoyed talking with you and Janet without saying words. And driving to the club, Jack and I were talking and I was able to lead him around just by talking. I could almost read what he was thinking. It’s scary. No…, it’s great.”

Mom smiles at me, “Welcome to the club, baby.”

“That’s what Janet said.

“Why don’t we call it a day. Put your things away and take a nice shower. You may feel a little better afterward. If you still need to talk I’m here anytime until you leave and then I’m as close as a phone.”

“How do we communicate without words on a phone?”

“You’ll see, Lucy. A mother and her daughters can tell each other a lot without using a lot of words. Words just get in the way sometimes. Whenever you come home, we’ll get reacquainted and quickly be able to know each other. You’ll see.” She pauses for a moment, collecting her thoughts.

“It isn’t easy to learn as you found out. But once learned it never goes away. Come on. Mom says, ‘go get cleaned up and have a good sleep now.’ We can talk more in the morning.”

“Thanks, Mom. Thanks for all your help. I want to be the best possible lady I can be. I want you to be proud of me, Mom.”

“I am, baby. I am very proud. Now scoot. Let me unzip you and you take a shower and get ready for bed.”

Mom unzips me and turns so I can unzip her. She walks off to her room as I start getting ready to take a shower. Tomorrow, Lady Lucy Ann Jackson is going to begin to take the world by storm.

Sometime during the night I think I hear Happy barking and wake up to remember what happened. Wherever he is now I hope he’s young again and having fun. We spent a lot of years together and he was a great friend, even if he did hate baths.

Mom comes in my room and sits on the bed. “Are you all right, baby?”

“Yes, Mom, I just had a dream.”

Her eyebrow raises for a few seconds.

“About Happy. I’ll miss him, Mom.”

“I know, baby. We all miss him.”

“Why did it have to be like that, Mom?”

“Honey, Happy was very old for a dog. He might easily have died in a year or so. This way, his death meant something, and he died in an act of pure heroism and love. He was trying to protect the family he loved, a tiny little dog against three big men with knives.” She begins to weep, her tears trickling down her face unheeded. “Happy would prefer that over wasting away incapacitated at the end. This way we will always remember him as fairly healthy and running around, keeping us company…. This way, his death has some meaning.”

“Mom, I still want to cry. Don’t you?”

“I do, honey, every day. I don’t like the fact that he’s gone from us any more than you do, baby. But I rejoice that he has gone somewhere where he’ll never grow old and he’ll always have children to play with and to keep company. We’d better get some sleep. We have a lot to do tomorrow. Pick up your uniform jackets, buy your airline ticket and pay for the extra luggage and trunks. We also need to pick up anything you may have forgotten, like condoms.” She says with an impish smile.

“Mommm.” Then I realize she’s right. Pretty soon I might just need them.

I finally drift back to sleep, again my sleep is punctuated with dreams but this time they are of Jack and dancing and a ride up to the ridge and the things that follow such a ride to such a remote place. Then we return to town and I’m trying to get our subsequent children ready for something the next day, all fifteen of them. I wake up suddenly, sitting up in a sweat and looking around wildly for my children. Then I realize that everything had been a dream and lay back again.

I lift the clock, looking at the time in the dim light from the window. ‘I need to buy a clock,’ I think. I won’t be able to count on the sounds of the base any more. Only two hours since my previous dream. This is ridiculous. It’s hot in here. I open my window for some cool night air and finally drift off to sleep again. This time my dreams are more normal and I recognize them as dreams and continue sleeping until Mom shakes me awake, “Come on sleepy head. It’s almost six. Have any more dreams about Happy?”

“Happy? No, Mom, no dreams.” For some reason, I’m embarrassed by what I can remember of the dream that had woken me last night.

“Good.” but she gives me her, ‘you’re not telling me something look,’ that I remember from growing up.

“What?” I ask.

“Nothing. You okay?”

“Yea… Yes, Mom, I’m fine. I just had weird dreams all night.”

“Tell me about them.” It wasn’t a question, it was an order. I could see it in her face.

I relate what I can remember of my ridiculous dreams and how I woke up hot and in a sweat. She smiles that knowing smile of hers and we sit on the edge of the bed for a little mother-daughter discussion about men and the birds and the bees. I’ve had this discussion with her before but from the ‘other side of the tracks.’ Somehow it seems more important now that I’m a woman, and different….

Mom goes on downstairs and I plunge into the shower. After I finish brushing my hair dry, I put on my underclothes, slip and a light summer dress. I slip on the pumps which go best with this dress and check my makeup again.

Everything looks okay but I have the terrible feeling I’ve forgotten something.

Finally, unable to place it, I go down to see if Mom needs any help with breakfast and find Janet sitting at the table with Mom in an animated discussion.

“Hi, Janet. Mom, do you need help with breakfast?”

“Hi, Sis. Thanks for letting me borrow your fur.” Janet has a strange expression on her face and it has nothing to do with the fur.

“No, I thought we might all go out for breakfast this morning.” Mom throws back at me.

“Well….” Sis always could see right through me. Of course she and Mom might have been talking about my dream.

“Well what?” playing dumb.

Janet gives me Mom’s ‘don’t play dense’ stare and I know it’s just a matter of time so I give up and go into all the gory details.

By the time we are headed for Denny’s we are all laughing and talking over each other and generally having the wonderful time I had always seen and envied when Mom and Janet were going somewhere together. Now that I’m a girl, I get to be part of it. We flow into the station wagon and make tracks to the highway and down to Denny’s.

We pretty much order the same thing and all ask for coffee. The coffee appears in short order, along with a carafe holding more. I add a spoonful of sugar to mine and am going for another when I see Mom giving me the warning stare. I sit up straight and continue for the sugar, getting the stare again. Putting two and two together I bring my spoon back empty and start stirring my coffee. Mom and Janet are taking theirs black. I am considering this as the conversation begins to pick up again and soon we are chatting away. Time flashes past and our food arrives. I notice that both Mom and Janet have no hash browns but instead a small pear half on a lettuce leaf.

The slices of ham are huge and I consider taking half of home to Happy when I remember what happened again. The loss flashes across my face and then is under control again.

Mom gives me a raised eyebrow and I just shake my head, no. I could use more eggs and less ham but finish eating, leaving more than half of the hash browns and about a third of the ham. Mom and Janet each finished their pear and about the same on the ham. I’m still getting unannounced lessons in being a woman.

We each leave a tip and pay our parts of the check, then we are out to the car. We still have half an hour before the shops open, so Mom takes us window shopping while we wait. A mannequin in one of the windows has on a skirt that says ‘I’m a tramp’ all over it. Oh, not in words, but in its length, or the lack thereof. I’m embarrassed for any girl who purchases one. I have one skirt which ends just above my knees and I have thought of it being somewhat risqué, but the one in the window is just too much. I don’t know whatever had got into me, purchasing the skirt I had, without thinking what it would look like. I suddenly realize that I’ll never wear it again.

I notice Mom looking at me as I stare at the skirt. She give me a ‘Do you want one of those?’ and I flash back ‘Not in this lifetime.’ She smiles with her eyes and gives me a nod that says, ‘You’ll do.’

We continue to look at things in the windows coming to a bikini which looks like three triangular napkins connected by strings. My face turns red and I turn away from the window. Mom just smiles.

The stores are beginning to open and we wander down the strip mall to the laundry where my uniform jackets have been altered. I try one on and it fits much better again. They are all ready, so I pay for the alterations and then we carry them out to the car. When they’re safely hung in the back seat, we go down a few blocks to Gowns Plus to pick up my first gowns. We check the shoes and clutches against the gowns and I try them on to be certain they fit (nice). After paying the $50 balance, the three of us carry everything out to the station wagon. It’s quite a load.

Macy’s won’t be open for an hour, so we go to the new grocery and stock up both for Mom and for Janet. I find a few things I could use and pick up a box of tampons as well. Mom looks at me for a second and her face floats a wistful look across it like she is losing her baby girl. I try to give her a ‘I’m a big girl now, Mom and I still love you’ but I guess it didn’t come out right because her eyes begin to fill with tears. Janet picks up on it right away and flat out asks, “Mom, what’s wrong?”

Mom shakes her head with a crooked smile and Janet looks at me with a ‘What happened? What’s wrong with Mom?’ expression.

I go over and hug Mom tightly, our faces touching cheek to cheek, “It’s all right, Mom. I’ll be back and I’ll always be your little girl.”

Janet catches on immediately and she comes over for a group hug as we both lend emotional support to Mom. Just as I was overcome emotionally due to my growing from a girl to a woman in just a few days, so too it has been necessary for Mom to experience her little girl growing up in a flash. All the effort and emotion necessary to produce the change, plus the assaults, then Happy’s death…. All this happening in such a short time is taking its toll, ravaging us both with many year’s worth of emotional upheaval packed into just a few days. The other women in the store are just walking around us like a stream flowing around a rock in its path.

Finally Mom regains her composure and we finish shopping. Janet tells Mom we better take the food home and come back for the stuff from Macy’s including our second check for the arrival of the additional cosmetics. Janet drives us home, as Mom’s eyes are still teary. We carry everything in, while Mom goes upstairs to wash her face and put on her makeup again. Janet and I hurry everything then go up to check on Mom, who is sitting on her bed sobbing. We sit on each side hugging her and offering what emotional support we might.

The events of the past few days plus the gaining of a second daughter, her training and the loss of her to some unknown male has taken its toll. About ten minutes and Mom is calming down. I kiss her cheek and hug her tight, receiving that crooked smile of hers in return. I give her the ‘Lucy Ann, you straighten up this instant’ look she usually gives me and she begins choking as she tries to laugh and cry at the same time. Janet was appalled at my message but when she sees the reaction she smiles at me. Mom finally wipes her eyes and blows her nose then takes another look at me and begins laughing.

Her face is suffused with a reflective smile as she shakes her head and looks at me. “You learned well, baby.”

“Thanks, Mom. I had a great teacher. In fact, I had two. Don’t think this lets you off the hook. I’ll be coming back for my postgraduate studies soon.”

Mom’s face lights up at the thought of her baby returning home time after time to learn more about being a lady and a woman. There is so much more than just looking feminine and dressing in feminine clothing, being able to cook and clean and wash and raise children. It is an entire culture. Then too, men may provide the necessary fertilization of a woman’s eggs and do the things which are needed to feed and clothe and house a family, but it is the woman who must provide the nurturing and guidance and examples and hidden values so necessary to prepare a civilization’s latest generation of children to become adults. She is the keystone.

Without her, our civilization would collapse. If our female children don’t learn all that is so necessary to be passed on to the following generation, then our civilization is doomed.

Mom says, “I think you will be a good mother, Lucy.”

I’ve never received higher praise, nor have I ever felt as much pride as I do now.

“Thanks, Mom, I couldn’t do it without you. Do you think you’ll be able to handle being called Grandmother?”

“I can, if you can handle being called Mom.”

I think about that and get a wistful far away look in my eyes, wondering who my husband will be and how he will handle being the father of my family. A smile slowly forms on my face as I consider the children I will have.

“Whoa, Mom. She can’t have kids before I do,” Sis complains.

“Why can’t I? Just because you were born first?”

“Because you can’t.”

“Can too.”

We get into a good-natured argument, with Mom playing the part of the referee.

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To Be Continued….       © 2008, 2009 by T D Aldoennetti & Rénae Dúmas. This work may not be replicated or presented in whole or in part by any means electronic or otherwise without the express consent of the Author (copyright holder) or her assigned representative. ALL Rights Reserved, including but not limited to ownership of Characters, final content decision, and more. This is a work of Fiction. All the characters and events portrayed in this book are fictional and any resemblance to real people or incidents past, present or future is purely coincidental. An Aldoennetti Original.