I'm not just talking about things like "Men hunt, women clean and have babies" here, either.

Growing up in the South, in a very small, backwater community, I was exposed to a lot of what look in retrospect, to be downright stupid social stigmas.

What got me thinking about this was reading a popular story on LGTales about a boy who starts practicing ballet. If I had had that open to me - i.e. if I had been born a girl here, or just plain born anywhere else, I would be in a lot better physical shape today.

I can distinctly remember a time not so very long ago, when I had myself utterly convinced that I was absolutely incapable of writing short, one-shot stories. I guess, in a way, I was incapable at the time, but not for lack of ability.

In retrospect, I think it was more a combination of facts. One of those was that I was just so laser-focused on writing my novel/serial. In the past, writing has been my therapy. I wrote for the exclusive purpose of writing what I needed to write, what I needed to get out of my system.

WARNING: This is going to be long, and perhaps a little nonsensical/cyclical. I'm pouring it all out into text to get it out of my system, but I promise it has a happy ending.

Depression sucks. I know that's stating an obvious fact, but I ended up giving myself a swift kick in the rear today, so I needed to write about it because that's why I started blogging in the first place, over two years ago. I want to be able to look back at this and laugh someday. Call me conceited, but I also want to stand as another reminder to others that no one suffers alone.

While on a fruitless search to figure out what I've done with my digital audio recorder, I started to run across stuff I've been holding onto for absolutely no reason. Most of it was just useless junk not even worth mentioning, but it eventually turned into spring cleaning. And then I noticed my old "I'm just a crossdresser, really!" stash.

Referenced here. Ordinarily I avoid these things because, in the past they've all been the same awful depictions (I'm not kidding when I say one featured a TG prostitute/possible drug addict in Vegas), but this one is different.

I wouldn't be ashamed to be one of the people on this show

In case anyone's been wondering what I've been up to lately, I've finally moved from the pre-planning stages to the actual writing on Book Three of Becoming Robin.

I already have the first chapter down, and the first page of chapter two to give myself a jumping-off point when I sit down to start writing again. It's still pretty rough at this stage, but I'd rather be writing and going back to change things later than spending anymore time planning.

I had a nice, hot shower earlier tonight. I’m trying out a new deep conditioner that takes five minutes to set, in addition to my usual washing routine, so I had a lot of time to stand there in the steam and let my mind wander.

It's important that I state, first and foremost, that I am in an exceptionally good mood right now. I feel more creative, and, in a word, "pumped" than I've felt in awhile, so take that into account foremost to set the 'mood' of this blog post.

I know after I finished Book Two of Becoming Robin I sort of went into a conservation phase for awhile. It took me forever to get the final chapter posted due to a combination of RL stuff and the Holiday blues, which put an even further damper on my finishing rewriting Shadowcraft.

So just a quick update on the college front, since I promised a few of you I'd keep you posted when I knew something.

Essentially, I'm going to wait until the summer to start classes. I know this sounds like a cop-out, or that I'm backing out again, but really, it's not, and I actually owe you guys for it not being so for once :-)

Hey guys,

I just wanted to post a quick update on what's going on with me, and my lack of presence lately. Things have just kind of snowballed on me with what happened to my dog (he's doing a LOT better, by the way. He's almost completely healed, and getting back to his old self), holiday drama, and about a hundred other things that I'd rather just put out of my mind for now.

On top of that, I've been sick this week, which has really drained me, but I'm sitting here with a big bowl of chicken noodle soup as I type this, and I'm starting to feel a bit better.

I'm shaking right now because something just attacked our dog. He's just a little half-chihuahua lapdog, but we let him out every night to do his business. Usually he stays close to the house, but tonight he ran off after something into the pasture by our house.

 
~* The Gowns *~

It's almost entirely likely that the next chapter will feature Robin and Linda's first fittings, but I couldn't resist showing off what I have in mind for the two of them as a 'finished product' since the wedding itself will be taking place in the Spring, and Book Two will come to a close with the holidays (in-story).

I have, for as long as I can remember, had a love affair with the language of music. In seventh grade (That's about age 12-13) my friends used to joke that when I played "A Whole New World" from Aladdin on my trumpet, it was like I went into a trance.

I never learned to read sheet music because of my vision problems. I actually found it MUCH easier to just learn to listen to what the guy next to me was playing and just copy him. I got so good at it that I could pick up a new part of a piece after an hour of practice listening to someone else sight-read it.

I received a response from Margaret Cohen, the therapist in LR that I contacted last week. She was very friendly, and gave me the name of another therapist that might be a little closer (I'll have to check after I post this :-))

I'd be lying to say I'm not petrified to take this next step. It took every ounce of strength I could muster just to contact Margaret, but she says Mary is a terrific therapist, and like I said, she came across as very friendly, so I'm going to gather my nerve and write to her.

I wonder how many other t-girls go through this much self-doubt, or if it ever truly stops?

Okay, bear with me here because I have a lot going through my mind right now, and I need to try and make sense of it the best way I know how - by writing. I don't know how much of this I'll be able to get into text, or how little, and if you get lost along the way, just raise your hand and an usher will be along shortly.