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Well, last night, we had Easter dinner with the family, and my sister-in-law said some interesting things. First, she basically put aside the work I've been doing trying to recover the memories of my rape and its association to my gender issues, saying such memories have been added to and subtracted from over the years to the point they are not reliable.
Then she pushed on the issue of me having a more aggressive reaction to males as opposed to females, which has some truth, but I'm not sure what that means other than I was taught to not fight with girls, and never was threatened by girls the way guys have threatened me.
So I guess the point is I will never be able to convince her or my brother of my trans status, as far as they are concerned it will always be a game I'm playing.
Sigh, Ah, well.
Comments
It seems ...
It seems that some people can never address the issues surrounding their response or reaction to discovering a close acquaintance to be trans or gay or whatever. I often wonder if this a function of intellect or upbringing (Nature or Nurture.) Subconsciously I think most tee-people tend to simply circumvent the distress by dropping acquaintances who cannot adjust.
There is also a very important reason why tee-girls are not ordinarily aggressive towards men. They know the risk of violence is much higher because many man are very uncomfortable and 'on-guard' around tee-people. They often see tee-girls as legitimate targets for violence because they are simply unable to encompass the hard truth that the 'man-in-a-frock' they perceive before them is a girl NOT a boy!!
Stick to your guns Dot, (but I know you will anyway).
I've said it before, and I'll say it again.
The people who mind don't matter, and the people who matter don't mind.
You can lead a horse to water
but you can't force it to drink. Maybe she has her own demons to slay.
Most women have a more aggressive reaction to males as opposed to females, so basically she's adding to your cause.
However she, and your brother, don't come across as sympathetic to your plight, so perhaps it's best to leave them be for a while. The best you can do is live a good life. I hope you can come to terms with your troubles, and I hope you're not thinking they add, or are cause, of any gender dysphoric issues you have.
Jo-Anne
They Didn't Experience it
Unless they can read your mind and feel what you feel...OR have the ability and willingness to empathize with how you feel then their opinion on your genuiness is irrelevant. Obviously you wish they would accept you for who you are and what you need to do for your happiness. However if they are unwilling, you can't force the issue. You can still be a part of their lives and maybe exclude them from yours to a degree. If they bring up your issues in a negative fashion, redirect the conversation to another subject. You aren't obligated to convince them of the correctness of how you are going to live your life. If you have the support of your daughter, then you have the support of the most important person other than yourself.
If the mental health professionals are satisfied with your viability to transition, and will recommend you for surgery, them maybe they are more qualified then your sister-in-law and brother to make that call. Once you have had you SRS if THAT doesn't convince them, nothing else will. If you are happy with your life and the life you are leading as the woman you are, and THEY are still telling you the BS they tell you...just ask them "which part of I'm happy and have no regrets don't you understand?"
{{Hugs}}
Frank
Disturbing...
...as painful as things have been regarding your gender issues, that she minimized your abuse history leaves me very sad for you. Too often, folks have no understanding of sexual abuse view it as something to get over or forget. It's only in remembering and dealing with the trauma that healing begins, and yet they seem to miss that entirely. Then, sadly, add in their misconceptions about your gender issues, and it must be so frustrating and hopeless in your efforts to be known for whom you are. You're in my prayers, dear one.
Love, Andrea Lena
When I announced ...
I was transitioning (along with the deep depression and near suicide) a lot of woman have opened up to me. I take it as a big compliment. Something I never realized was how prevalent sexual abuse was, I suspect it is a lot more common than people realize.
I don't think of abuse causing TG, it is more of a trigger I think. This does no minimize the abuse in the slightest, and I hold the people who do these crimes in extra deep contempt. Sad to say, even if the law were to neuter them I suspect many of them would repeat.
It can take a long time...
Dear Dorothy,
Things can take a much longer time than you even dream about.Whe I trasitioned my sister could not but accept the fact that I would two years later have the final operation. But it took even two more years after the op until she felt comfortable to use my new name. I think it was not so much the fact that I was a new person that she had known all from her birth, but somehow it was the loss of the older brother that stoped her from in her heart rewally accept that she had got an older sister instead. So my advice to you is to try not to arose her worst side, but just try to be there as the new person that you are. And show in the most natural way how much better you feel now that you have found and can show your new persona but still be the same person inside as you were before all things started to change.
Wishing you all the best.
Ginnie
GinnieG
Matthew 10:14
If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words...
For me it's been 8 1/2 years, and not a word. I don't even care any more. They aren't the Christians they think they are.
G