I've actually been living as a woman, inside my head, since the late 80's. It wasn't about being T, it was about just being me, and I thought that the correct me was an effiminate male. JC Penny used to be a great source for women's slacks, jeans, tank tops, panties and that sort of thing. So, about that time all my men's clothing was gone, except I still had to wear ladder hook boots for the work I did. They were a specialized boot with a steel insole and a higher heel to fascilitate the use of pole spikes, ladder climbing and that sort of thing. Later, they went to a tough non-metalic insole to insulate me from the ground. I was joyous the day that I found those boots in women's sizes. You can't buy them in stores. I wasn't "out", but inside I was giving my own personality room to function. The intent was to never come out but to be both genders inside.

Then in 2004, things happened, I was exposed as a hard partying, gay man who was in fact fucking anything that moved. The only issue is that none of that was true! Still, sometimes the ones you love are the first too believe the worst about you.

Well, now in 2013, I've been out 8+ years, post op and living the happpiest life posible, in spite of my family who are of the same ilk that those who burned Wycliffe at the stake were.

This site and those I know here have supported and empathised with me through so many struggles and for that I am so greatful.

Lately, I find my even passing interest in T issues to be waning. It is more and more a trial to read about those things. Still, I know there was a time when I hung on every word; waiting breathlessly for every new episode. I still appreciate the need for those who are starting this journey to follow these stories as it seems to help work things out.

Only in the very beginning did I write strongly TG stories and as time passed my stories became more and more about the story plot and not the T element. I strove more and more to write stories that depicted my characters having completely normal lives, or as normal as one can in a Sci Fi setting.

I won't bring names up but some have been extremely supportive of my desire to write non T stories, and others have been bluntly hostile about it, expecting me to leave. For now, I am trying to decide if I should just let my new stories sleep peacfully on my hard drive or to "Damn the Torpedos" and publish!

Lately, I have rediscovered some of my old Sci Fi Favorites like Asimove's "Foundation Trillogy", though it is quite a dry tome at times. Weber's work is always great fun.

So to you just starting this journey I wish you luck and God Speed and all that rot. I'll probably be looking in from time to time to check how you are doing. For me, rememberance of the struggle has grown too tiresome to think on any longer.

Gwendolyn