What makes a man a man ?

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Been doing a lot of thinking about what it is that makes a man a man or a woman a woman, and honestly, I dont know.

I try and think of things that men do, and I can always find some men who dont like doing them, and some women who do, so what does it mean to be a man or a woman?

Is there something that is definitely masculine, or definitely feminine, that you can know if the person does it, they are without doubt a man or a woman?

What do you guys think?

Comments

thoughts

Helluva question kiddo I say just be yourself &what will be will be

Mind

It's all in the mind A girls brain or a boys brain it's all in the mind.Sometimes the bodies get mixed up but it's still in the mind
HUGS DOTTY :-) RICHIE2

different answers

Oddly enough I asked myself the same question this morning.

I think there are two responses. One is biologically, and that is self evident.

The other is culturally and that where the hang up is. There are things culture demands and expects from those who have certain biological traits that really has nothing to do with what is between your legs. I wonder, if the gender roles were reversed, if guys were expected to be submissive and nurturing and all that, would I still be trans? When I speak of being a woman, is it that I want the sexual characteristics of the opposite dress? Not really, though that is one of the trappings. DO I simply want to wear the clothes? No. I might never wear a dress out in public. But my identity is that of what biological females do naturally and I so want to be included among my own kind.

Katie Leone (Katie-Leone.com)

Writing is what you do when you put pen to paper, being an author is what you do when you bring words to life

I disagree with....

I disagree with part of your answer. Biologically things are NOT self evident, at least for many people. Here are a few example that explain why I say this.

1) There are people with 46,XY (normally considered male) who are females, and have given birth. There's one example to one who gave birth to a daughter (also 46,XY) who also gave birth.
2) There are people, who grow up and live as female... and only discover that they are XY when they are unable to get pregnant.
3) There are some people who have "spontaneously" had their body start changing from Male to female!

There are many other intersex conditions...

So, that's why I say the biological answer isn't obvious... Even when you look at someone nude.

Annette

Good question. I just know I

Good question. I just know I was never a typical boy, my mother always said I acted "prissy". I think you are what your brain tells you and mine told me that I would have been happier being a girl since I always wanted to play with girl toys and wanted nothing to do with boy toys.

What?

What makes a man or a woman? They do.

IMO - there's not any one thing that men do that women don't - and vice versa. There IS one thing that a female (even one with 46,XY) might be able to do, and that's have a baby. But, having a baby (or not having one) doesn't make a person a woman.

I believe it's a state of mind/way of thinking/sense of self. Oh, there are some things in the brain that when measured seem to correlate to man ness and woman ness (and M2F TS seems to measure like most women and F2M TS like otherwise genetic men).

But, I know women who are mechanics. I know men who take care of babies. It's not the clothing we wear. I know more than one lady that wear 3 piece suits with bow ties. One plays soccer (or football for most of the rest of the world). What you do and what you wear doesn't make a person male or female. (Though, there are many people who seem to think it should.) We're all people.

So - why do many of us want to wear clothing that is traditionally attributed to the female (or vice versa)? I can guess about others, but only speak for my self... One reason, I've come to believe, is that it "reinforces" our belief in who we are. We're women, so we can wear women's clothing. It also helps others "recognize" us as females and thus use female pronouns when referring to us (if they don't it doesn't make use any less female, it just hits our psyche and in some cases makes us wonder). It's far easier, when nobody seems to question whether we're women or not. (As mentioned before the reverse is likely the case as well.) {Different story for Cross Dressers. I accept them, but don't - at a gut level - understand the need... Just like I don't understand how folks can be attracted to guys. I know a large portion of the human race is. I accept that, but at a gut level, I don't get it - since it's not me.)

Annette

I think a lot of it is societal expectations.

Frank's picture

That's why there are "men's" jobs and "women's jobs"

Male or female there are certain ways you are expected to act. Nurturing is female/feminine. Strong/tough is male/masculine. Secretary/Nurse are female jobs. Lumberjack/Bricklayer are male jobs. Its all nonsense in that a person should be able to do whatever job they want to do if they are able. However society perpetuates stereotypes and they get handed down to children. Generally female math and science scores fall off when girls hit puberty, I'm rather certain they don't get dumber and their bodies mature. They just aren't encouraged and taught to love those subjects.

Different regions being male or female physically means a much better life for the male and worse for the female. Not for any intellectual reason, but for centuries certain cultures have devalued the worth of females. I don't need to go through all the things that can and do happen to girls across the globe.

I do believe we should treat children who are gender conflicted as early as possible in regards to hormone blockers for puberty and then cross gender hormones at whatever the age is that it is okay to proceed. With or without the society aspects, a girl doesn't want to grow big, hairy, muscularly or grow a beard. Just like a boy doesn't want to grow curvy, have breasts, a monthly visitor and the emotions that go with it. I think a person knows what they are as soon as they are aware. I don't think seeing a girl in a dress makes a boy want to be a girl, nor would seeing a boy playing with blocks make a girl want to change. It isn't about wanting to change, its about your inner core.

Of course there are some for whom gender is more fluid and may float back and forth across the lines. An androgynous man or woman who can change with the wind, or what side of the bed they woke up on. There are males who want to be Eunuchs, but don't want to be women. The biggest problem is society expects conformity, and when a person doesn't conform, trouble happens.

{{Hugs}}

Hugs

Frank

Stop thinking

Angharad's picture

and just be yourself. Stop trying to justify who you feel yourself to be and get on with being it. There are no clear cut answers to feelings, you're wading into a morass and all it will do is confuse you.

I'm off to do my girly thing of cycling and most of the group who come with me will be women. So nothing is clear cut, is it?

Angharad

Well, I'd say the difference

Well, I'd say the difference is that women are the breeding chambers for humanity, and men the more or less expendable protectors/soldiers.
The social differences result from this basic dichotomy. Sure, most thing men can do women can do vise versa, but men can't get pregnant and humanity can't (or couldn't) afford to throw women away for experiments.

The result is that women do the boring, unchallenging, repetative follower jobs, but which are essentially harmless. While guys do the dangerous stuff whith potentially high reward, but that often enough end with social or real death.

Maybe I'm just frustrated with gender roles, but that's the way I've gotten to see it. The gender roles themselves are expression of humanities animal side and as hard to fight. You just can't sucessfully fight your instincts, I think. If yours doesn't fit with what society expects you're just screwed :(

I Think One's Brain Structure Determines One's Gender.

About things people do; I'd say some behavior having to do with her vagina might be a feminine indicator, except pre and non-opt M2Fs are wimyn and don't have vaginas and many new men don't bother with/can't afford bottom surgery and do have vaginas.

Hugs and Bright Blessings,
Renee

Pretty much no

There is no one thing or even collection of things that all men do and no women do, or vice-versa.

So, what is a man, and what is a woman? Nothing more nor less than two categories into which we attempt to classify everyone we meet. In theory they're all-inclusive and mutually exclusive, map perfectly one-to-one onto biological sex classifications which are equally clear-cut, and every person will be classified the same way by everyone, including themselves. In practice, none of this is actually true, or even possible. Life is nowhere near that clean, simple, clear-cut, black-and-white. Life has every shade of grey, every color, and then some.

So we have to fall back to asking ourselves why this classification is so important to us, and try to come up with useful and at the same time ethical guidelines to follow when our ingrained rules of thumb fail us.

My definition? A man is anyone who would answer "man" when asked, a woman is anyone who'd answer "woman," and I accept either or any other answer I don't reasonably doubt was given in earnest. People have the right to define themselves, and to be treated as human beings regardless.

Yes, there are tantalizing correspondences between certain more-difficult-to-make biological (especially neurological) measurements and how a person would answer such a question, that may (or may not) better match that answer than the usual classifications based on presentation and appearance or even the usual gross biological measurements of genital appearance or chromosome conformation. But ultimately, to me, the actual answer that person gives in earnest is what I will go with and trumps everything else.

...

Extravagance's picture

There is no activity that is 100% exclusive to either masculinity/femininity, or males/females.

A person is man if they say they're a man.
A person is a woman if they say they're a woman.
Nothing else matters, certainly the opinions and judgment of others don't.

Ultimately, I'm with Angharad on this one. As long as you're not hurting anyone else, just chill out and be yourself without worrying about whether or not you can justify it. The people who mind don't matter, and the people who matter don't mind.

Case closed.

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