My brother and sister in law came over last night, and she saw my nails and was less than impressed with them. Not that I wanted painted nails, but my color choice was not a wise one, according to her. She said most women learn colors and age-appropriate styles in or before high school, because, in her words "teen girls are the most vicious creatures on earth".
She told me I'm going to have to learn these things fairly quickly, or risk the judgement of my peers even if they dont know I'm transgendered - they will assume there is something wrong with me unless I send out the right signals with my choice of colors - making sure things match up together, and that its appropriate for my age and size. She said this is going to be even more important for me since I'm always going to have a few mannish features which are not going to help me in dealing with other women.
That being the case, what I need is a mentor - someone who can walk me through this stuff, someone with a lot of patience for my mistakes who cares about me enough to tell me if I dont look good.
The other alternative is I decide I dont care about it, that if I get rejected socially, that its not important to me, that I forge my own style and say to the world - "this is me. Deal with it."
That would require a lot of courage and a willingness to be isolated, and considering my history as a boy, that would certainly be familiar to me.
But do I really want history to repeat itself?
Comments
Sister-in-law
I have a feeling your sister-in-law might be willing to give you a few pointers.
Portia
Nail color
There are a few tricks to consider, even if your color blind like me these tricks are more extensive.trust me hun my little sister has often given me the same lecture your sistr in law gave u only my sister is well she doesnt know how to let down gracefully and picks on too.
always hold the color next to your boldest color garments your wearing and try to match it to that!!!
Age appropriate, as u get older your choices of colors lesson, and become suttle more plain sometimes shiny, sparkles for middle aged is typically deemed inapropriate as sparkley polish is more for the young. like to mid 20's.
toddler to about 10 or 11, u can get away with pretty much any and all colors, stles, sparkles, designs and such.
when u enter your preteen years you try sticking with more feminine but bold colors while trying to maintain a less childish look. so no banana yellows oranges, or less refined colors, and designs are ok as long as it isnt deemed childish.
usually prom or a special really dressy occasion, design nails are typical, with a special nail art design which u will find lots of videos for them on youtube. usually 13-16 and the child no longer bites there nails is a mature time/moment to treat that girl to her first french manicure, which will be useful for when she gets older, 16 is the typical age back when, now adays its usually 13 or 15 these days silk wraps are the best, or even the gels.
after 16 the mature but still fun colors come in. so stick with fun but conservative shades of pink, light reds, clears, blue and purple, maybe a crimson for a special occasion. sparkles are okay but not excessive, and nail art is ok as long as its not over done.
middle or late 20's u begin to grow up a little more, sparkles arent typically used anymore, bolder colors are used but typically kept to pinks, reds, clears, french vanilla, crimson, and stylish but mature nail art for special occasions, but very often used.
when u reach 36 to middle aged, colors go down to pinks, light reds, maybe bold red for speed dating, and clears, no sparkles, or even a frenchy.
middle aged and up, your looking at nothing bold, just subtle, french manicures, sometimes extentions, light pinks, or even clears
when your nails grow to decent length above skin level of your fingers get them properly done, shaped, keep them neat and tidy, nails are second if not third beauty kept spot that is often critized by other girls if your not fashion literate u get mocked...trust me it aint fun, u gotta learn fast and work 3 times as hard for them to see u as an equal.
The areas in which girls check out the cfashion and beauty spots on other girls is typically as followed to help u keep in mind.
face
hair
nails
shoes torso outfit:
dress
top
bottom
shoes
choice of straps seen with outfit (try to avoid bra straps if possible to be seen)
i know some girls think its fashionable to show there gstrings, dont, this is only done by young girls when there parents cant see, and only done to bluntly flirt from afar with random strangers. not good !
keep dated in fashion, many girls read fashion mags and such daily, and try to keep with the season, depending age, certain magazines, and peer fashion reports help to keep each girl dated.
when it comes to age appropriate, no less the 10 years from your own age is age appropriate, when u reach middle age, preteens to adult age its trying to appear older, but keeping age at same time, new/young adult its no more then 4 years younger apearance but trying to maintain a grown up strictly young adult apearance.
As i can understand that u didnt get a girlhood, it is typical for many transwoman to reclaim a bit of a childhood or teen year experience as they begin transitioning as that is how they begin to see themselves and appear within there current climate in life. so trying to be more teenage even in fashion is ok, however if u care what others think and dress down for them you will look your age appropriate, however will not feel thats how u should be dressing till u grow up inside as well as outside.
every girl's style should reflect her poise, style, femininity, fashion linguistics, deportment, and her spirit no matter what age. within holding to age limit bounds. it is funny to think of a granny wearing hipsters, but when u actually see it u cant help but be a little uhm concerned and wierded out when they bend over and u see a gstring ive seen it and it aint pretty rofl.
try looking at the following magazines and sites for styles:
http://www.girltalkmagazine.com/
http://www.teenvogue.com/
http://www.vogue.com/
http://www.fashionmagazine.com/
http://www.flare.com/
http://www.ellecanada.com/
stores to try out:
the bay
american eagle
areopostale
walmart if u dont mind out of season attire
sears is typically great for age appropriate ask for help if u need it, dont feel ashamed.
jeans from stitches is one of the best in canada
for nail polish i would say stick to sally hanson, and lighter colors by nicoles (my fav)
for cosmetics, if your like me ;) try out: gosh, marcelle, lise watier, eye shadow thats popular is smashbox i use it and luvvvvvvv it. Loose minerals give a more natural look, if u dont believe me ill post a pick and u can see for yourself k im second from the left next to my grandmother. if theres anymore information i can give u please ask hunny :) anytime !!!
love and hugs to your amazingness;
Erin Amelia Fletcher
With Love and Light, and Smiles so Bright!
Erin Amelia Fletcher
Thanks
Many thanks Erin for a full overview on the subject. It was directly saved into my folder for practical advices, where some of similar short and prctical advices are stored from the old MS-groups Transgender and it's sibling Transsexual.
And as you so well poinbted it is up to us to look around at our same-aged sisters to see what is "normal" for our age. In Sweden it is less and less makeup used.
But still I, now and then, do "the full thing" just to check up I have not forgot the technic and the joy of doing it fully, especially for the special evening events.
Again thanks for your work on BCTS and your pracical tips!
Ginnie
GinnieG
I'd be the worst mentor EVER.
Especially considering that when I do bother to paint my nails I tend to do alternating colors, or five different colors all together :P When I used to wear my wrist warmers all the time I had a period of about a month where I kept them alternated blue and bronze.
Melanie E.