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Last night as I drove to work, I listened to a marriage therapist talk about the different needs men and women have in a relationship. According to him, Men need to feel successful, women need to feel safe.
If that's true, then I really am a woman, because safety was the quality that was really missing in my marriage. I dont blame my wife, a lot of it was my fault - I was the one with the massive secret called "Dorothy", after all.
But regardless of fault or blame, the fact is that I never felt safe in my relationship with my wife.
Or with most other people, in fact.
One more reason why I will probably never have another life partner.
Ah, well.
Comments
yes
"If that's true, then I really am a woman"
Been telling you that for weeks.
Btw Dorothy isn't the secret since that is the real you. It's the male mask thing that was the secret.
One step at a time...
...establishing your self first; your security and safety has to come from within. And honestly, we're all so much a mixture of needs that go far beyond what psych text or study might indicate. Examine what made you feel unsafe in your relationship; so much of what you've discovered has been from being affirmed in yourself as opposed to becoming...being a woman all along in virtually every way.
No matter what happens or whom you meet, it's paramount that you learn to feel safe within yourself; that your confidence and faith are grounded, not in anything or anyone external, but rather in what you already know to be true and in Whom you believe, but you already knew that.
And you know what they say? Never say never!
Love, Andrea Lena
What Auntie Drea said.
Though I will add, it sounds like what you also need is a big butch lesbian partner. = )
Hiding from everyone...
Hiding our true selves is how we try to find that safety. In my case it allows me to be relaxed enough with strangers and customers to have a successful sales career, but being quiet and withdrawn around family and loved ones for fear of revealing 'my dirty little secret'. That desire for safety causes us to live a life in the shadows, but we know that someday we have to step out into the sunshine where we belong.
You've taken that step and I commend you. Now that you are living a life in the open you have released Dorothy to be the wonderful person that we've all come to know. You're safer now in plain sight than you ever were in hiding, and now you can be open to another.
Life Partner, sure. Who knows whats in your future now that you've released yourself. After all, now you can love openly and honestly.
Ole
We are each exactly as God made us. God does not make mistakes!
Gender rights are the new civil rights!