Due a scarcity of spoons I am just now sharing this for me very cathartic experience with you all, even though it happened late on Wednesday afternoon and into the late evening.

After twelve days of not managing to leave my apartment (not even to check my mailbox on the ground floor) I had finally managed to scrape together enough strength and motivation to travel to a neighboring town in order to make an appointment for an ADHD, ASD and PTSD assessment at a specialized clinic. Unfortunately I arrived just after they closed for their lunch break. But to my surprise it was only about two blocks from this very quiet residential area until I reached the “main street” shopping street. (Or as it was known in Frills by our very own Snowfall: The Alley!) I wandered up one side a ways and then back down the other side. Then I decided to indulge my sugar craving and try some snack crepes, similar to those developed by Maid Cinnamon (I know, shameless plug). Eventually I got my assessment appointment for early April 2025 (due to only having the legally mandated basic health insurance), but only for ADHD since they no longer do any autism assessment for adults.

The next clinic doing autism assessment for adults has a wait time of 24+ months. After returning home and feeling rather down, depressed and exhausted, I just clicked on a few random albums in my music library.

Even though I grew up in a christian cult, have experienced religious abuse in several christian denominations, and thus have decided to distance myself from organized religion, I still have a spiritual connection with the core principles of Christianity as expressed in the Bible. I am not trying to convert or offend anyone with a different belief system, I am just stating my own beliefs to help you understand the context of my story.

My music tastes are rather eclectic. Ranging from classical, folk, folklore, “Schlager”, opera and ballads to swing, big band, ballroom, country and marching band. I like for the lyrics to be readily understandable. I do not like rock, techno, rap, hip-hop, metal, grunge, disco and the likes. And I hate it when the lyrics only consist of screaming, howling and/or growling where you can not understand a single word. Add in those flashing lights so popular in discos and/or dance clubs, and I go into almost immediate stimulus overload meltdown.

So here I was, tea mug in hand listening to a few random albums from my music library, trying to recover from my excursion, when this next song started and I just broke down crying my eyes out: “This Is My Prayer” by Charlie Dicks

After that, I went down a deep rabbit hole and searched my library for some more sentimental tunes and had a rather cathartic cry-fest. I wish I could have had someone by my side to hold me, cuddle me and cry with me. (Absolutely nothing sexual! Just a nice hug and cuddle.) But be that as it may, it did feel so good to me in a relaxing and restoring manner. And I wanted to share some of the highlights of the evening with my known and unknown friends here on BigCloset. I am sorry that some of the lyrics are in German, but that is the way I roll.

• “This Is My Prayer” by Charlie Dicks
• “Nearer my God to Thee” by André Reiu and the Johann Strauss orchestra
• “Vietnam Deck of Cards” by Red Sovine
• “Roses for Mama” by Red Sovine
• “Rosen für Mama” by Jonny Hill a German version of the Red Sovine song “Roses for Mama”
• “Bringing Mary Home” by Red Sovine
• “Teddy Bear” by Red Sovine makes you believe in the basic goodness, empathy and charity of humanity. Back in the late 2000s I would listen to a small country-gospel web-radio from the Appalachians, and when I requested this song in their chatroom they also played parts two and three right after. And they mentioned in the chatroom that every time they played this song all the station staff would just dissolve in tears.
• “Ruf Teddybär Eins-Vier” by Jonny Hill is the German version of the Red Sovine hit “Teddy Bear”.
• “Little Rosa” by Red Sovine I think that this song might be even more poignant in the current political climate.
• “Tommy und Strolch” by Jonny Hill is the story of a friendly trucker neighbor to a single mother and little boy, who is seen as being able to fix anything and everything. So when a speeding car killed his beloved dog “Strolch”, the little boy asks his trucker friend/uncle to please fix him up again. So the trucker fires up his CB-radio and calls on the help of his trucker colleagues to find a replacement dog. Finally a new puppy is found in Austria and relayed up to northern Germany. And they lived happily ever after. (Sadly all radio transceivers, CB or otherwise, are being outlawed in Germany in recent years.)
• “Que Sera Sera” by Doris Day
• “Kleine Laterne” by Monika Martin
• “One Day at a Time” by Charlie Dicks
• “Wenn du einmal traurig bist” by Oesch's die Dritten is a family band from Switzerland offering if you should be sad and the world seems to crush you then hold on to this song.
• “Wann kommt das Glück auch zu mir?” by Freddy Quinn voices the age old question many of us are more than familiar with: When will happiness come for me?
• “Es kann nicht immer nur die Sonne scheinen” by Hein Simons who sings a duet with his child star self from the 1960s telling us it is impossible for there to be only sunshine and that the heaven sometimes needs to cry.
• “Grad die späten Rosen” by Tony Marshall Late roses are special is an ode to love as empty nesters.
• “Senioren sind nur zu früh geboren” by Tony Marshall Seniors are just born too soon, so just enjoy your life to its fullest.
• “Die Liebe ist ein Segelboot” by Monika Martin compares love to a sailing boat.
• “Mozartgasse 10” by Elfi Graf how you can find happiness in the most improbable way.
• “I Have A Dream” by ABBA
• “If that isn't Love” by Charlie Dicks
• “Let It Go” from Frozen this could be the ultimate trans anthem.
• “He walks with me” by Anne Muray
• “Meines Großvaters Uhr” by Gabi Seitz Why we should not discount the legacy of our grandfather's clock.

Yes I have a preference for music and artists from the 1950s and 1960s, as well as for acoustic music over electronic music.

I hope that some of you might also receive a little pick-me-up from my sharing of some significant to me music here on this forum. I wish all of you the very best, and a relaxing weekend.

Jessica Nicole