TTSD 1: Tinker, tailor, soldier, Dot.

They say your life flashes before your eyes when you’re about to die, but I didn’t believe it until it happened to me. What’s worse, seeing my life flash before my eyes want even the strangest thing that happened to me on that fateful day.

The day I died started off so well. I’d been tapped to join a group of other Canadian soldiers on a mission to assist the Americans who were involved in the Libyan civil war, even though I was a raw recruit just out of Basic training, and a latent Hyper besides.

Normally, thanks to the Liberty Accords, anyone who might activate is not allowed to be involved with the military, but since our mission was a peacekeeping one, training local law enforcement and first responders, I was allowed to go.

I really never thought much about being a latent Hyper. I figured that since I got into my twenties while going through some horrible stuff without activating, I probably never would.

As it turned out, I was wrong.

A missile hit our plane, blowing a hole in the side, and I was sucked out into the air, headed for the sand below, and I found myself thinking about how I had gotten there.

From all accounts, I started life looking like an ordinary boy.

But by age five, it was clear to my mother that I had a girly side. Like really, really girly.

Unfortunately while trying to find me help sorting the gender thing out, she sent me to a counselor who had much darker plans for me.

What happened during my visits with him were the stuff of nightmares, and one of the long term effects was that I tried to “man up” in every way I could. Which led me to joining the Canadian Military, which I managed despite my issues, and they sent me overseas.

The review of my life over, I still had enough time to wish I had done something about the girl thing other than torture myself holding it back. And just before I hit the ground, my Hyper gene activated.

I woke to find myself in a bedroom painted a soft pink, confused as all heck. At first, I thought I might be in heaven, a thought that was strengthened when I realized I was wearing a nightie that left no doubt whatsoever that I was a girl.

But that idea was put to the test when the door of the room opened, and a woman came out. I recognized her, her name was Hazel, and she had been a friend of mine before I had left to join the military.

She said, “Nice to have you back among the living, Dot.”

“Hazel?” I inquired, “What am I doing here? Why do I look like this? What’s going on?”

Then suddenly I felt a wave of calm washing over me, and my breathing slowed.

“Sorry to have to do that, hon. I promise I’ll answer all your questions, but to start with, I just wanted you to know you’re safe here.” She told me.

“Hazel, are you a Hyper?” I asked.

“Yes. But I never bothered with a code name or a costume, because I have a very minor ability, to calm someone who is upset.” She replied.

“That’s cool and all, but could you tell me what happened?” I asked, still slightly upset despite being under her calming spell.

“I don't understand all of it, but the gist is your H gene activated, and in the process altered reality to a small extent.”

I tried to mull that idea around, and then I asked, “What did I change?”

“Well, for starters, now the old you and I were married and had a kid. That’s who you are now, in case you couldn't guess.” She stated.

“I’m ... I’m my own daughter?” I stammered.

“Yes, hon. Don't ask me how you did it, but you are the daughter of Thomas and Hazel Brown, and you just had your fifteenth birthday not long ago.”

Even with her calming spell on, I was floored by this revelation. I had a thousand questions, but the first one that came to my mind was “When you came in, you called me Dot?”

“Yes, that’s your new name. Well, technically it’s Dorothy, but everybody calls you Dot.”

The next question I had was, “So besides turning into my own daughter, can I do anything else?”

“I’m sorry, I don't know. But we can find out, there is someone here who can help us.” she replied.

A woman came into the room, and I immediately recognized her as Cantrip, one of the most well known heroes in Alberta, despite being mostly out of the spotlight for years. Of course that was probably helped by the fact that she had been involved in stopping a villain in Toronto last week.

It finally dawned on me I was still in a nightgown, and I blushed, and crossed my arms in front of my chest, only realizing just how girly that move was after I did it.

I sighed, and said “hello.”

“Hello. You caused quite a stir, warping reality like that.” she said with a smile.

“Sorry.” I managed.

“It’s all right. I was just glad to discover it wasn't some magical menace. I think I had enough of that at Christmas. Why don't you tell me what happened.”

“I ... honestly don't know. I can understand saving myself, that makes sense. But why would I turn myself into a fifteen year old girl, the daughter I never had, no less?” I responded.

“I think I know why.” Hazel added sadly, and I looked at her in shock.

“Hazel?” I asked, feeling her calming spell fade.

Hazel took a deep breath, and I wondered if she was able to use her power on herself, as it took her a moment to carry on. Then she said, ‘Dot, I had a chance to talk with your mom, when you left to join the military. She ... told me what happened to you.”

Now I was really shocked, as I had never told my mother, and why would she tell Hazel?

“She told me because your abuser had been in the paper, because he had been caught doing to someone else what he did to you. She also thought I had a crush on you, and wanted me to understand why you were not likely to be a husband for me. But I think I had already guessed that, because whenever we were together, it was like being with another girl.”

And then all those years of denial, shame, and struggle made sense to me.

Both women must have sensed something, because before I could collapse they were both holding me, letting me cry it out.

Eventually, I ran out of tears, and I managed to ask, “So what happens now?”

“Well, if you’re up to it, I’d like to arrange testing for you, so we can understand your abilities. Then, I think you’re going to need to go to a school that can help you control yourself. . As for what you were just talking about, you should see someone who can help you process, and if you’re willing, I can arrange that as well.” Cantrip replied.

“So fast? I mean, I just woke up like this. Plus, what about Hazel? I feel like I should spend a little time with my ‘mother’, even if we knew each other as friends before.” I respond.

Hazel smiled, and said, “You’re not getting rid of me right away. It will take some time to set everything up. Plus, maybe there is a job I could do there, so I could live close.”

Cantrip replied, “I’ll see what I can do. Maybe you could help the students with your ability to calm someone down.”

I smiled, and then my stomach rumbled.

“Whoops.” Hazel said, “Let us back out so you can get dressed, and I’ll make some breakfast.”

I blushed, and the two of them left, leaving me with the daunting task of girl’s clothes.

Despite my desire to be a girl, I had no experience in dressing like one, and my task was not made easier by the wardrobe choices I had available. Apparently, Dot is what can only be described as a girly girl, so I was far out of my depth.

Finally, I swallowed my pride, and went out to ask for help. Hazel (or I started to call her, Mom), gave me a short tutorial in getting dressed as a girl, including a cringe-inducing introduction to female anatomy and hygiene, and soon I was presentable.

Hazel also explained that she seemed to have both sets of memories, one where I had been her friend, one where I had been her husband and father of her child, the child whose life I was now living. I felt terrible about this, until she convinced me that the instinct that had reached out for a way to survive and give me the chance to be the girl I had always been inside, was not something I should feel guilty about.

We talked about what I might do regarding school. Since it might take Cantrip some time to set up testing for me, not to mention getting me into the Hyper school, I was probably going to have to deal with going to a junior high school as a girl, made worse by the fact in this reality, Dot had a history, friends, schoolmates, and the like.

She suggested that I look into Dot’s online stuff, because it might offer me some hints about who I was friends with, and the like, and Dot had shared her passwords with her so getting in shouldn’t be a problem.

What I found when I went online astounded me.

It was like somehow, Dot had known I would take over her life. Her diary and blogs gave me a lot more information than I had ever shared as a guy.

I could think of no other reason why she had spelled out in the plainest way possible everything I would need to step into her shoes.

I began to grieve for Dot, who in a sense had given her life for mine., and I’m not sure what I would have done if Hazel had not come into my bedroom at that moment, and she held me as I cried.

When I recovered myself, I asked her, “Why didn’t you use your power? Keep me from losing it?”

She replied, “Because, sometimes, a person needs to feel, even to be upset. One of the trickiest lessons I’ve had to learn concerning my powers is when NOT to use them.”

“Well thank you. You could hate me, for taking your daughter away from you.” I asked.

“You ARE my daughter. She would not exist without you. And I’m not sure you won't remember her life, like I have both sets of memories.”

She held me for a bit longer, and then I went back to the task of learning all I could about Dot, until I felt like I could bluff my way through a few days at her school, but in the back of my mind, I was hoping Cantrip would be able to set up something before too long.

Changing schools in January would be difficult, but not having to feel like I was pretending to be Dot would help, especially since I still kind of felt out of sorts about being a girl.

You cant unlearn that much shame and fear in a day, and I knew it, so anything that would make the transition easier would be a good thing, or at least I hoped so.

By the time I finished, it was afternoon, and Mom suggested that we go out for an early supper.

“Are you sure?” I asked, “I don't know if I’m ready.”

“Well, think of it as a test run. Nobody at the restaurant will know who you are, so any mistakes you make wont matter as much. And if it goes well, it will help your confidence going back to school.” She replied.

Her argument made sense, so I added a couple of layers to the clothes I was wearing, as Edmonton winters are not something you fool around with, and soon we were on our way to a family restaurant, and I tried my best to not feel like a fake, a man posing as a teen girl.

Mom was a good looking woman, and I was now a pretty teen, so we did get noticed entering the restaurant, but soon, we were at a table with menus and none the worse for wear.

We ordered our food, and when it came, I thought I would need to remind myself to eat smaller bites, like a girl should, only to discover the ability came automatically.

Eventually, we finished, and I whispered to Mom “I think I need to go to the washroom”

She replied, “So do I, let’s go.”

I had already experienced my body’s plumbing, using the washroom at home, but as it was my first time using a public washroom, I was a bit apprehensive. But with Mom at my side, I went in, and we did our business. As we were washing up, I asked Mom, “Why do girls go to the washroom in groups?”

“A couple of reasons,” she replied, “first, they feel a little safer. You’re awfully vulnerable going to the washroom, and knowing you got friends with you can help relax you. The other major reason is privacy. It gives girls a chance to talk about the males in their lives without being overheard by them. So a girl will complain about or praise their current boyfriend, or talk about some boy she has a crush on, or some guy who wolf-whistled at her, all with friends who will listen, and share their stories, without the normal constraints placed by being in public.”

“I should warn you,” she continued, “You may have heard guys being crude, doing locker room talk kind of thing. Well, believe me, girls can be equally as crude, and graphic, when they talk about boys in a bathroom or change room, especially when they’re talking to a girl or girls they know and trust.”

“Speaking of guys, am I going to be attracted to them now? Dot’s diary and blogs kinda hint she was into guys, but never mentions a boyfriend. ” I asked.

“Well, Dot was never as boy crazy as some girls, but she did have a few crushes.” Mom replied, “but I don't know if that will influence you or not. Whoever you find attractive, I’ll support you the best I can.”

“Thanks,” I said, and then hugged her.

We left the washroom, Mom paid our bill, and we made our way home.

She suggested I make an early night of it, so I got my stuff ready for school the next day, read for a while, and then changed into a nightie.

My sleep was ... interesting. I felt like I was watching two movies at once, or like my childhood and Dot’s were merging into one thing.

Seeing her childhood, I noticed something. Somehow, even though she’d never suffered the kind of abuse I had, she had the same emotional and psychological scars and responses. It was like she sensed my pain as if it had been her own.

Which explained her caution when dealing with boys.

The dream ended, and I fell into a deep sleep for a while. But then I had a dream that was even stranger. I saw myself going through the house, picking up objects, and then going to the garage. Mom had set up a little workbench for Dot, because she had expressed an interest in making things at home. In my dream, I took the objects I had picked up, took some of them apart, and then started building something.

As I kept building, the item took shape.

It looked like a cross between a spider and a kitten, but I called it a hugglebug.

Then I got shaken awake, and realized that my dream had been real. I was actually in the garage at the workbench, and on the bench was a hugglebug.

I stared at Mom, shocked, and asked, “What ... what did I do?’

“Made some kind of cat-bug” Mom replied, examining the thing on the bench.

“In my dream I called it a hugglebug.”

“Cute name. Wait, you said you were dreaming? Like the whole time?” she inquired.

“Yeah, or at least I thought I was until you woke me, and I was really sitting here.”

“Well, we’ll deal with that once your power testing gets done.” Mom stated, as she helped me get back into the house, “ For now, you got your first day back at school to deal with.”

“Oh joy.” I replied, “You sure I can't pretend I’m recovering from my activation?”

“Not a good idea. You need a chance to get some practice in being a teen girl. And better to do it around people who will give you the benefit of the doubt, and think any oddities are because you just lost your dad, not to mention just activated your H gene.” Mom stated firmly.

“Oh yeah, I almost forgot about the dad part. This is gonna suck.” I grumbled.

“I’m sorry, hon. If you can't grieve your old life, just tell people you’re in shock, and can't believe it.” Mom replied.

“I guess that works.” I said, and ran to my room to get dressed.

My second day of putting on girl clothes went better than the first, despite the fact I was somewhat distracted by my nighttime activities.

Finally, I was ready, and after a quick breakfast, mom drove me to school. The school is named after a former premier of our province, Don Getty Jr. high, and looked okay from the outside.

We made our way to the principal’s office, and soon the principal was offering me condolences on losing my father, and created a letter for me to carry to my teachers about my activation.

Mom left me to go to her job, and I went to the first class of the day. Fortunately, after New Years, the school starts its second semester, so my struggles to figure out where to go were hardly unusual.

As I had expected, in every class many of the students and all of the teachers took a moment to express their sorrow over the loss of my “father”.

Surprisingly, I was able to feel some grief for my old life, even if most of it was regret that I didn't find a less drastic way to solve my gender issues.

In all honesty it was tougher to deal with the people who focused on the fact I had activated.

Hypers may not be as feared and hated as the mutants from the comics I read as a kid, but they are rare enough to cause a bit of a stir, if my experience was any indicator. It took some doing to convince my classmates I wasn't about to fire lasers from my eyes, or something. Which of course got me wondering exactly what I could do, and if the strange little device I had made while asleep was a clue to my powers.

Having about a half-hour after classes ended before Mom could pick me up, I decided to visit the shop room, where students (mostly boys) learned how to work on electronics, or learn carpentry. Once there, I closed my eyes, and tried to visualize the “hugglebug” I had made at home.

And I started to feel an itch, a push, a need ...

To build, to create.

Not really knowing what I was doing, I started gathering supplies. The image of a kitten came into my mind, an electronic kitten I could take with me to AMPS when I went, assuming I would be accepted there. I giggled, a new habit I had seemed to have acquired since waking up in this body, and started putting parts together.

In my previous life, I had no technical or building skills at all, but now, I could remember all the episodes of a show called “how it’s made”, and could use those memories as a guide for how to build my electronic cat.

I was so focused on my task that it took Mom shaking my shoulder to pull me out.

“Dot, what are you doing? You had me scared when you weren't at the entrance waiting for me. I had the principal helping me looking everywhere for you.” She almost yelled.

“I’m, sorry, Mom,” I said, “I had this ... need to build something.” I replied

She picked up the ball of wires, electronics, and artificial fur, and asked, “what is it, Dot?”

“I was trying to build a robot kitten.” I replied with a blush.

She shook her head, and said, “Okay hon. We should go home, though. You can take your ... kitty with you if you want.”

I looked at the sad little ball of gears and wires, and mentally compared it to the sleek looking hugglebug I had made at home while asleep.

I sighed, picked it up, and followed Mom to the car.

Once in the car, I said, “I’m really sorry mom. I couldn’t seem to help myself.”

“It’s okay, hon,” She replied, “in fact this may give us a good idea about your abilities. I believe you’re a Tinker, or at least partly one”

I thought about this. Not long after Hypers started appearing, there were some attempts at classification of the powers people had, and one of the groups they identified are called Tinkers. Tinkers are good at inventing, repairing, or upgrading devices. Some are pretty close to the “mad scientist” idea, but most are more like that guy who can tell what’s wrong with your car just by listening to the engine. But what they can do depends on how powerful they are, which is broken down into Categories, like a hurricane.

Which considering the damage some Hypers cause, sounds about right.

The idea I was a Tinker certainly explained my sudden interest in building stuff, but it didn’t explain why I could make something much better while asleep than I could awake.

I sighed, and filed that thought in among the other questions I hoped would be answered when I got tested.

The next day was a little easier, but it introduced a new issue. With everybody having given me their condolences and sated their curiosity about my probable powers, I could focus on classes, or so I thought, until I realized that I was not immune to a problem common to many girls - boys. The boys were at that awkward stage where they had realized girls didn’t have cooties, but were unsure what to do next.

But the blushes on the boy's faces when they realized they’d been caught staring wasn't my major issue.

It was the fact I was peeking back.

In my old life, thanks in part to the abuse I suffered, I had shut off my sexuality, and even the idea that I would find a boy attractive would have been quashed as hard as I could manage.

With this new chance, I found myself wondering if I still had to keep such feelings hidden. After all I was a girl now, so if I found a boy interesting, well, who would think anything of it?

And yet I couldn’t put what had happened behind me that easily. So I decided that I was going to need help from Mom.

She hugged me hard, and told me she would make sure I got someone to talk to when I got to AMPS.

Which made me realize how lucky I was to have her as a mom.

That night, I had another sleepwalking session, and Mom found me in the morning what looked like an old fashioned gun, painted pink with the words “Girl Gun” written on it.

Mom had a manikin she dressed up for Halloween, so she suggested firing the gun at it, since I had no conscious idea what it did.

I aimed at the manikin, and fired.

A moment later the manikin was wearing a magnificent formal dress, all in pink.

“How is that possible?” I asked Mom.

“Magic is the only thing I can think of,” Mom replied.

I was going to ask more, but just then the phone rang. It turned out to be from AMPS, telling us we should expect our escort to the school to arrive that afternoon. Mom called my current school and told them I wouldn’t be coming in. I had already made my goodbyes to the other students and teachers, so I spent the morning trying to make sure I was packed and ready to go.

We had just wondering if we should make lunch when the doorbell rang.

As soon as I opened the door, I recognized who it was, one of the most famous Hypers in Canada, Sensation. You could never mistake her for anybody else, as she has silver skin with violet freckles, and bright green hair with purple streaks.

I gaped, and froze, until she held out her hand and said, “Hello, I’m Nicki Murphy, although you might know me as Sensation.”

I invited her in, and she shook Mom’s hand before approaching me with her eyes closed, saying, “Don't worry, I’m more than a pretty face. I can detect abilities and power rating.”

Then she said, “Hmm... you’re a bit of a tricky one. But I can sense you are a combination of Tinker and Mystic, but your power level is fluctuating. I’d say Category 1 at the low end, and Category 4 or even possibly a 5 at the high end”

I blushed, and told her about making a hugglebug and a girl gun in my sleep, but failing to make an electronic cat while awake.

She looked thoughtful, and then said, “It seems that your conscious mind gets in the way of using your power to its fullest.”

I sighed, and said, “one more thing to worry about.”

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“It’s ... okay, just I’m gonna need to talk to somebody when we get to the school.” I replied.

She smiled, and said, “ it’s likely I would be the ‘someone’ you would talk to. I’m one of the counselors at the school. I’m also an empath.”

I couldn’t hold it in any longer, and poured out everything. My original life, the horrors I had suffered, my ‘death’, waking up as Dot, realizing I was attracted to boys, my frustration with my powers, everything.

I ended up in a three-way hug as both Mom and Sensation held me tightly until I finally cried myself out.

Once I had collected myself, Sensation said, “You won't be the only student who has gone through some tough stuff. And the best answer we’ve found is being there for each other.”

“Really?’ I asked.

She replied, “Yep. I’ll give you an example. I wasn’t born with Cat 4 empathy and Cat 3 enhanced speed and agility. I wasn’t even born a girl. I was born Nicholas. But AMPS helped me, and so after I graduated I decided to pay it forward by helping other students.”

I looked at her. She seemed so secure, so together, but somehow I knew she was telling the truth, so I wiped the tears from my face, and said, “Okay. We should get going.”

With Sensation helping, we loaded up our stuff, and soon we were on our way to a small private airport north of the city.

A very large man took care of our luggage, and we were directed to a small private plane. I was a bit nervous, mostly because the last time I was in a plane a missile hit it, but mom used her power on me, and I relaxed enough to actually fall asleep once we were airborne.

I woke to the seat belt light going on, and I asked Mom, “Are we there already?

“No, dear,” Sensation replied, we just have to refuel. We won't stay long, and the staff aboard will make sure you both are comfortable while we wait.”

I soon discovered she wasn’t kidding. There was a handsome man and a beautiful woman working as stewards, and they provided us with a delicious lunch. I had some mild frustration when I realized that I had no attraction whatsoever to the young woman, but the young man made me feel all gooey inside, but I tried to ignore both reactions.

I ate more than I normally would, but Sensation told me that Tinkers often have to eat a lot, to supply the energy they need, so I didn’t worry too much.

After we ate, a question that had been bothering me for a while came back, and so I asked Mom, “ Mom, can you tell me about my father? I mean, was he different than I was ?”

Sensation overheard us, and waved to the stewards, saying “We’ll give you two some privacy,” and then she and they went to the front section of the plane.

Once they were gone, my mom sighed, and said to me, “It’s kind of hard to say. Both versions of you are ... blended in my mind. But the one thing that stands out is the man I married was a little more comfortable with being a guy. He was still gentle, and kind, and my best friend, but there was just enough guy in him to make me feel less like I was talking to my sister. And when Dot was born, it was like all the feminine energy flowed into her. She was the most girly little girl possible, and she had this connection to her father that was almost telepathy. I tried to pass it off as her being a Daddy’s girl, but it was more than that, and when you took over, I finally understood.”

“I’m sorry you lost him,” I said, trying not to cry.

“Sweetie, I didnt lose anything. My friend is right in front of me, in a pretty new package, and I’m lucky to be her mom.”

I hugged her, and we sat in silence until the male steward came back and said, “We’ll be taking off again soon. You two should get your seat belts on.”

Soon, we were back in the air, and I had been given a set of headphones, and I fell back asleep listening to my new favorite band, Starlight Butterfly.

The first leg of our journey was done ...

To be continued ... I hope ...