Some time after around 2000 I read a long story with perhaps several chapters, and I have been searching to revisit it without success. The search function is usually helpful but not on this one. It involves a "Hitler" style invasion and part of the story is set in the Salt Lake City area. I thought the Author was Penny Reed Cardon.

I've got a meeting next week with a Psychiatrist and I am very afraid. I'm pretty sure that she will try to get me back on Psychotropic Medications again and the prospect is chilling to me. From about 2002 until 2007 I was on drugs that really messed me up and I believe caused me to lapse into Suicidal Ideation several times. In my opinion Psychatric folk are egotistical and can act without good reason.

I finally got my "Titanium Eternity Collar", and I love it! My only advice would be is to order extra keys for it because it is a 1.5mm set screw and hex wrench. I lost the screw getting it on and was fortunate enough to find it. It is on now and I hope to go to a local Hardware store to get more of them and allen wrenches. Not sure, but I think it is on to stay until I get the spares OR if I take it off, it will stay off until I get them. This is all part of my unashamed, blatant penchant for mild BDSM.

This week end, I've viewed two stories on youtube that were oddly in text and I know that I read them on BCTS. There was almost no change in the Femdom office stories. The thing that angered me is that they expect the reader to sign up for a subscription that is far more than Patreon. You don't get to finish the story unless you pay. Now that I have seen their tactics, I'll know to avoid this unless I find I like being molested.

Gwen

In the last 20 years my interests have grown more singular, maturing toward strong Science Fiction with quickly morphed attraction to everything feminine. The Psychology of such feelings is understandable to me, and it seems clear that efforts to explain things to others are futile.

Gwen

Apparently they don't use the term Aspergers any more. Instead they use PTSD or CPTSD here on the west side of the pond. I don't know how those on the east side see it. I'm thankful to live in a place where they don't badger me to be a social butterfly, and the solitude agrees with me.

I see that I have written about "Spem in Alium" and other classical pieces that I find agreeable. It is doubtful that others would understand my love of "Queen" , "AD/DC" and among others ELO. Suffice it to say that my soul lives on that, Science Fiction and my quest for knowledge of the Creator.

I just learned that the couple that I think wanted to abuse me around 2005 to 2008 has been arrested. At least I think this might be them. He was at least 350 lbs and wanted to pee on me and lock me in a box under his bed. He wanted me to eat his fecal matter. He wanted to chain me up. She was skinny but went along with him. They have apparently abused perhaps a dozen children, and imprisoned them. I hope they haven't murdered anyone.

Riding weather is here again and I'm trying to decide if I will wear bike shorts or that with a pleated skirt over. I usually wear a hijab under my helmet for concealment and to keep dry. I don't bother with clippy shoes. I'm wondering if I should wear tights or would it have prevented my road rash? I had though I was mostly uninjured in my mishap, but it may have momentarily rang my bell. I've decided. Girl kit it is.

Those of you who have had strokes, did you have headackes?

I've felt a bit odd lately and have gone out in full male mode a few times. If my facial structure was more feminine, I could look like a Butch Dyke, pardon me. I had my hair all cut off to about to about 6.5 mm (1/4"). I am going out today for several hours and plan to do more of that. To me, it seems that my transition, including bottom Surgery, might have been ill advised. Warnings from the Psychological Community seem dire because many of them feel that it is a precursor to Suicide. I'm not feeling that. My children would undoubtedly support detransition.

I've wanted to be an Author all my life. Unfortunately, the forces of a life of parental abuse and after kept me distracted for a long, long time. Coming to Big Closet, almost as soon as it opened, my writing was awful despite the fact that I had taken Creative Writing courses even in the late 50s in school. For me, School was a happy place, giving me a chance to escape my tormentors and to be able to play. My grades were way below acceptable, almost failing and I did not care, a fact that exasperated my teachers.

Creatures of darkness have gotten at my accounts and at my age I may not have enough gray matter left to fix it all. It is very late in life for me, and while there has been no official diagnosis, it is a struggle to keep track of things. Having gotten rid of my car, there is no car payment, Insurance, or petrol cost and these days that is a substantial sum.

My sincerest gratitude to those who have shared kindness between us. Sadly, my children are mostly useless if I need help. I have Lymphoma and right now it seems to be less troublesome.

Peace and blessings to you all.

The way of Water. Pretty good in the theater, but no 3D. It was hard for me to recognize the evil Colonel. I will try to avoid the Theater in the future. The Internet should be fine. Apparently there are two or three more episodes.

Gwen

Don't worry, nothing to be excited about. I am as surprised as anyone, perhaps more. I had a huge attack of very painful Lymphoma over the weekend that almost drove me to the Doctor. Saturday, I went to the Barber and got a buzz cut. I don't even recognize myself now. I'm wearing Cargo Pants and a man's T shirt.

I'm re-reading Amethyst's "Twice Removed" and I thought there was a picture somewhere of the main character Xia. I can't find it, AND I thought there was a place where pictures were saved but I can't find that either.