Into full on whining tonight, sorry. It's been 13 weeks of Quarantine and it seems a bit excessive. If I do go out for groceries, or to take a break, it is strict face covering, goggles, and head cover. Yikes, I look like a Saudi Arabian Niqab wearing woman. As it is for all of us, being isolated in my apartment can be quite wearing, but overall I have been doing rather well, aside from frequent Ocular Migraine Headaches. These are not painful but a bit incapacitating, they are.
Having shopped for groceries, I put them in my Paniers, and attempted to mount my steed when she shrugged and disbalanced me, causing me to fall to the pavement. To further emphasise her displeasure with me, she sank her fangs into my right ankle causing it to hurt just awfully. So humiliated was I that the pain caused me to mount her once again, this time with considerable vigor and I sped off down the street. God, my ankle hurt so much!
I am drained, absolutely, but am not going to use the word.
Stupidly got myself involved with yet another Mental Health person, and I thought it was going really well. Then she also began to involve a second year Medical Student. I've been feeling some frustration and over the weekend, and later, hours after a phone session with the Med. Student I became tearful, and have remained that way for days.
In many/most of the stories I read, even the so called, historical ones, the burden of proof is often not satisfied. But if the tale is reasonably well written, we can like it as entertainment. That goes for written work, and movies.
A point of confusion for me, the movie, "The Good Shepherd" by EM Forster was very good, rivetingly so. I thought that he was a veteran of the Navy. Much to my surprise, he was simply a good writer. He also wrote, "A Room With A View", one of my favorite stories ever.
Reading Admiral Krunch's, "Being Christina Chase" once again after all these years is so very thrilling! In some parts I find myself bouncing in my seat like a child. I wonder what has happened to him and I do hope that he is doing well. I think his skills are great enough that he could easily have moved into writing his own published works in another venue, and I do hope that the years have treated him well.
I'm looking for a story about a long haired, Computer Geek who starts to drive his car over the mountains and wrecks in a storm. Kind, helpful Russian Immigrants pick him up, and mistake him for a distant female Cousin. They get him cleaned up and all the mud off him and get him into girl's clothes and all that. Later she meets a Lawyer who falls in love with her, and you know where it goes from there.
I thought it was AA that wrote it but it appears not. Oh, it was Christina Chase!!! but who wrote it?
Without warning, Google, You Tube and some others are just gone. I tried a hard reboot and nothing. Much to my surprise, I have been able to get on line using MS EDGE. I think I saw a snipet about this but I ignored it at the time.
Is this permanent? Does anyone know what is happening?
For over 10 years I had a Phd Psychologist at the VA who I thought at first was a help. Then I realized that she seemed to suck my brains out at each session, and then to sift my consciousness and finally put it back in. One day, I finally understood that and on my way home decided that I'd had my last session with her. I went almost a year without a counselor, then one afternoon, walking up the street realized that there was no reason to live.
I've spent 99% of my time in my apartment since the last week in February, and when I do go out I look like a Niqabi with my mask, helmet and long sleeves. There is no idle conversation on the street. My expeditions to the street on my bike are to make an effort to prevent blood clots in my legs, and the resultant Pulmonary Embolisms that I've been warned about. Most Doctors don't talk to me because of my refusal to take their drugs.
I just finished "Emily", and before that "Boy's School" by Sarah Lynn Morgan. I'm saving "The Gift of The Unicorn" until last. I love sweet, romantic stories, perhaps because there so little of that in lives. I've been pleased to sigh with longing, to giggle with mirth, and to nearly swoon at sweet moments.
The last I heard from Sarah is that she'd missed out on a job with NASA, and was heartbroken. I wish her well and hope that she is pleased with life and that there were bright spots.
One of my most profound joys is seeing other Authors find success in the real world.
Some of you may remember a story called "Legacy of the Anari" on this site. It was pure Sci Fi and expertly written. The Author showed amazing imagination.
I've followed "Trials and Tribulations of a Girl" for quite a while. A while back, I was talking with the wife of a Nez Perce Native who works here in Portland. I mentioned to her that I'd been doing research on my own Heritage and think it is Apache, or Navajo, but could be Cherokee. Oklahoma where my GrandParents were from, has 39 different Native American groups in it. My Spirit favors Navajo, but none of us know for sure. I told her that I thought I was Two Spirit and when she talked to her husband, he told her that I would be seen as totally normal in Nez Perce culture.
I urge you all to be very proactive about your own Medical Selfcare. Drink lots of water. If you smoke, perhaps cut back a little? Avoid crowds. If you see a NIOSH 45 mask, buy it. If you can, wash your hands a lot. Weak Coffee rather than Iced Drinks.
So far, I am "well" for me. I am COPD, and a bunch of stuff. I have good inhalers and use them. I live very close to two Hospitals and have been self isolating for over a week. Please be careful. I love you all.
Malwarebytes, I've used to protect my Computer for at least a year. Now it is saying that BCTS is a not secure site, and telling me not to come here. I've had a similar issue with BBC but it has never caused a problem.'
I have written to Malwarebytes to complain. Now what?
I've had a dream, a very vivid, and erotic, and at times, impossibly lewd one. It was so clear that when I wakened, I was not sure I was awake, and not sure that it had not really happened. For me, the dream was impossibly powerful, realistic yet so very improbable to me. I'm frightened to write it down and publish it here.
In working on it, the story keeps changing shape in front of me. It is a mix of things I've experienced and heard, and perhaps things that I hope no one ever must experience.
Not sure I interpreted their lengthy announcement correctly, but from what I saw, I doubt that I'll have an issue with them. I just try to be doubly sure that I haven't copied anything I have "seen".
There is an outfit that collects Photos for Facebook, and I think it is clear that if you have put a picture on the Internet, or anywhere on any Computer, this company will deem that it belongs to them. I do have a half dozen picture of my badly bruised hindquarters that got that way when a man, who was texting, rear ended me. No one is going to pay to see my butt. LOL
Early on, in childhood, I suffered enough physical violence that continued for 14 years, from my Stepfather to now have severe PTSD, to include dissociative episodes and panic attacks. I'm 72, divorced, and actually had surgery to change from male to female as much as possible. I was not "transgender", but did not know it then, and am Celibate now. I just wanted sexual feelings and lust to end, to be over, to be gone from my life. Forever.
We've all been together here for just yonks, so you know that I'm not going to harm myself, so I think it is safe to say that I am feeling so low tonight that I can't see out of my shoe tops. The weather here is awful, about 6 degrees and fairly pissing down. I would bundle up and go out for a walk about, but my lungs hurt so I feel trapped inside.
I was just sat here contemplating calling the crisis line and tell them I just need to talk, no need for drama or the plod.
I took a Dementia test friday and am not pleased with the results.
I am not sure that I know enough about this to comment. I am relaying what I saw on BBC, about a notice that American NSA put out. Apparently there is a security issue with a .DLL file that Microsoft is scrambling to fix.
Microsoft has been in touch with me, saying that I did not pay for Windows 360, so I have to prove I did. This may cost me $200. I go in tomorrow at 11 AM to see what can be done.
I have this file called "ideas" and I free write there to see if anything comes of the present idea. So, today I was working there and then I realized that what I was writing was far too BDSMish. and explicit. So, I took a nap and when I got up, I still felt that way, so I deleted that part of it, about 4 pages of smut. HMPH !
Downton Abbey has always seemed far too stern and tacturn for me. I've seen little snippets of it but always backed away to avoid the painful seriousness. For reasons unclear to me, I felt drawn to it yesterday, and rented the first episode of it, and am watching it in little bits.
I can't work out why or if the people were actually that inhuman to each other.
Never thought this would happen to me. Thought I would die in a Motorcycle crash or doing something fun. Then I had the indignity of needing help to get up.
I've had these insane thoughts flitting through my head about a person, or family that finds themselves living with Dinosaurs. I haven't worked out if it is a time travel story, or if they were on a spaceship that took them there. The more I study, I am not sure IF present day humans could live at that time because of differences in the Atmosphere. And I don't know if the soil of the Earth of that day is terriformed enough to support plants and animals that humans can eat? I haven't worked out a premise for how any TG content could happen. And, I haven't written a thing yet.
In the 15 years I've been this way, I tried to be a girly girl. Yet one time a woman said that she thought I was a Navy Seal. Another woman thought I'd done Black Ops. Not even in heels and a pink dress was I girly. :( Lately, I've decided that the transgender stuff was bunk, but there is no rewind. So now, I'm just ME, and that's fine. Still not wearing pants if I don't have to !!!
Some of us are old enough to have had surgeries to correct sexual organ issues, and did not know until later. The story came out later for me and I had to piece bits of circumstantial evidence together until the pile got too big to ignore. Later in life I found out about my genetics ... The conclusion I came to is that the Doctor had taken me in another room and done a radical Hysterectomy. I found out that I spent a while in the hospital after I was born but not what for.
I don't know the exact title, but this story deals with a General who puts his son in a private school and he comes out as his daughter. It could have been a Military school? It could have been one of Nancy Cole's stories, and perhaps she reworked it?
At any rate, I have not found it and it is likely that I'm not getting the details right.
Checks can be made out & sent to:
Joyce Melton
1001 Third St.
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USA
Note: $6000 is the operating, maintenance and upgrade budget. Amounts received in excess of the $6000 will be applied to long term debt accrued over the last 19 years.
