Another Ranma 1/2 Story

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Another Ranma 1/2 Story

by azgerri

 

This is an idea that came to me one day. Ranma, for those who don’t know, is the main character in a Japanese comic story. He is a first rate martial artist who has been cursed. While on a ten year long training trip with his father, Ranma accidentally fell (actually was knocked) into the Jusenkyou Spring Nyannichaun, the Spring of the Drown Girl. Now, whenever he gets covered with cold water he turns into a girl, while hot water returns him to his male self.

But, what if Ranma’s father, Genma, was even dumber than we have been told. What if, instead of heating regular water, he managed to heat…

Read on and see. Anyone who wishes to use this idea, feel free to do so.

Standard Disclosure: The characters of Ranma 1⁄2 are not my own creation, they are the exclusive property of Rumiko Takahashi. The story is mine, but the rest is hers.

“Pops! You have done something so dumb, no so stupid, no so … I can’t think of a word for how super stupid you have been. But this. Couldn’t you read in the guide book about this place?” Ranma, only barely able to contain his loathing for his present, feminine form.

Genma, in the body of a giant panda held up a sign ‘Now son...’

“Don’t ‘now son’ me.” Ranma snapped at his father, hating the way his breasts rose and fell, rubbing his too sensitive nipples against his shirt. Only, they weren’t his breasts and it wasn’t his shirt. They were her breasts and her shirt; for he was still a girl.

Not giving up, Genma held up a sign, ‘But the guide book is in Chinese.’

“Only the left hand side of the book is in Chinese, Pops.” Ranma said, barely able to keep her voice civil. “The right hand side is in Japanese.”

‘Oh.’ The sign Genma held up read. Flipping the sign, the back half said. ‘We only need to boil water to reverse the curse.’

“Until the next time we are hit with cold water Pop. Think about it. This is the rainy season. We won’t go far without getting wet.”

Not having an answer for his now female son, Genma instead concentrated on the water he was boiling. ‘There. The water is ready.’ The sign he held up said. Flipping the sign over, it said ‘Here is your half.’ Flipping the sign once more, it said, ‘And here is my half.’

“Pops!” Ranma shouted. “My half is less than half your half. Why is that?”

‘I am bigger.’ The sign Genma held said. ‘Here.’ The flip side said, as he tossed the bowl of water to Ranma and dumped the rest of the water on himself.

The hot water splashed over the female Ranma and ……, nothing happened. Ranma remained female.

“Pops!” Ranma shouted at her father. “You can’t even boil water right.”

Even as mad as she was, Ranma noticed something strange about her father. He was still a Panda, only he looked a big smaller and something else was different. Still, there were more important things to worry about.

“What did you do wrong, Pops?” Ranma demanded of her father.

‘Nothing.’ The sign Genma held up said. ‘I got the water from that spring.’ The flip side said. The sign flipped again, an arrow pointed to the lake behind them. Flipping the sign again. ‘I boiled the water.’ Flipping the sign again, ‘How hard is that?’

“Pops.” Ranma voice was filled with panic, fear, and anger. “You got the water from that spring?” Ranma said, standing and pointing to the body of water near them.

‘Yes.’ Said the sign the panda held. Flipping the sign it read, ‘Why?’

“Pops.” Ranma said through clinched teeth, “Which spring did I fall into?”

‘That one.’ The sign Genma held said. Flipping the sign, an arrow pointed to the same body of water. The sign flipped again, this time showing a light bulb, shinning brightly. The sign flipped once more. ‘Oops…’

Nearly a month later, a young, cloaked figure hiked through the rainy, muddy streets of Nerima, a district of Tokyo, Japan. The figure’s destination was a Dojo belonging to the Tendo clan. The figure moved with the look of one who has lost all hope.

Being a bit early, the figure didn’t need to rush. The figure was expected, yet wasn’t.

A knock on the door of the Tendo home brought the anticipation of all inside to new heights. The old arguments had not been decided.

Saotome Nodoka was both pleased and sadden. Pleased that her husband and son were to return form a ten year long training trip, one to make him a man-amongst-men. Sadden that he was returning to a pre-arranged marriage to one of the Tendo girls. Only no one knew which girl.

Tendo Soun was both pleased and sadden. Pleased that his old friend was returning with his son; the son who would marry his daughter and carry on the dojo. Sadden that his daughters were still undecided as to which one would marry her father’s friend’s son.

Tendo Kasumi was both pleased and sadden. Pleased that she was too old for the arranged marriage her father and his friend had set up some ten years earlier. Sadden as she didn’t like the stress that had filled the house to which she was house woman.

Tendo Nabiki was both pleased and sadden. Pleased that the arrival of her father’s friend and his son was sure to cause chaos, and in chaos there was profit. Sadden as she wasn’t that much older than the son and was not, unlike her older sister, Kasumi, completely off the hook in this arranged marriage.

Tendo Akane was both pleased and sadden. Pleased that she had managed to keep her sisters from forcing the issue that she marry this ‘boy’. Sadden that everyone still seem to think she was the most likely candidate.

For a moment, one that seemed to stretch out forever, no one moved. The knock came again. Everyone looked to Kasumi. “I’ll get the door.” She finally said.

Kasumi made the short trip to the door. Opening the door, she saw a short cloaked figure. Little could be seen of the person inside the cloak. A pack on the figure’s back did nothing to identify the person within the cloak.

“Ranma?” Kasumi asked, “Saotome Ranma?”

The cowl of the figure’s cloak nodded in an affirmative manner.

Stepping back, Kasumi said, “Welcome to our house, Saotome Ranma. Please come in.”

The figure stepped passed her.

Looking outside, Kasumi asked “Isn’t your father with you?”

Again, rather than speaking, the cowl of the figure moved, this time in a negative manner.

“Well. I imagine he will be along later then.” Kasumi said, leading the cloaked figure into the room where the others waited.

With everyone watching closely, the figure, with a bit more drama than necessary for the situation, lower the cowl of the cloak.

Everyone else in the room gasped in surprise. Under the cowl was the head of a beautiful girl. Her bright red hair and deep blue eyes were totally at odds with the rest of her obvious Japanese features.

After several minutes of silence, Kasumi spoke. “Oh, dear. I am afraid we were expecting Genma and his son, Ranma.”

The girl spoke, her voice, if anything more feminine than her face. “Pops won’t make it. I am Ranma.”

Those who had been waiting in the room sat stunned and then, all at once…

Saotome Nodoka asked, “Where is my son? My husband?”

Tendo Soun broke into tears.

Tendo Kasumi asked, “Will you be staying long? Would you like some tea?”

Tendo Nabiki said nothing, but her head was filled with thoughts of how she could profit from this girl’s beauty.

Tendo Akane jumped to her feet and shouted “Pervert.”

The red haired girl stood there in silence.

Once the ruckus settled down, she said. “I will answer your questions, all of them. Let me tell you of my training trip.”

Looking toward Saotome Nodoka, she said. “Mother, I didn’t want to leave you behind when Pops and I left. Oh, I wanted to go. At that age I was willing to do anything to improve my skill in the ‘Art’. For ten years, Pops and I traveled the world. I must admit that I learned much from Pops, most in spite of rather than because of him. But the most important thing I learned from him, I learned too late.”

Pausing for a breath, she continued. “Pops’s ideas about training were, to say the least, non-standard. How I survived even half of what he put me through, I do not understand. Even I can not believe half of what he did, and I was there as he did it to me; so I won’t bore you with the details. Those details really don’t matter that much to the real answers to your questions.”

Making sure everyone was listening to her, she continued. “Remember one thing of my early training. Pops did stupid, imbecile, moronic, dumb, and …; well let’s just say that there isn’t a word or series of words that can even come close to describing how stupid Pops was. Yet, everything he did before,…., well it paled in comparison to the most stupid thing he did.”

“We traveled to China, an area that the government has blocked off. We moved through mine fields, razor wire, guard posts, and obstacles that would stop even the most insane of a person. Only they didn’t stop Pops; or me.”

“Inside this area is a land of springs. I don’t know how many springs are there, but there are a lot of them. The place is called Jusenkyou Springs. The water there is magical. Pops didn’t bother to read the guide book; although why an area so well defended would need a guide book or have a tour guide, is beyond me.”

“As with much of my training, Pops leaped to attack. By now, I had come to expect his, non-conventional training methods, hell he cheated. He tried to attack before he signaled for us to start. He tried, but as usual, he failed. I was ready for him. As he leaped to attack, I used his forward motion against him, and he sailed into one of the springs.”

“I stood there ready for him to come out, wet and mad. But he didn’t come out, not exactly.”

Ranma’s face remained beautiful, in spite of the pain from her memories being written on it. “I stood there ready for Pops to come out of the water. Instead of Pops, a Giant Panda came out of the water.”

“Giant Pandas are peaceful.” Akane said without thinking.

“Giant Pandas may be, but this Giant Panda was my pops. He had fallen into the Spring of the Drowned Giant Panda, one of the cursed springs.”

“I admit that I was surprised by this turn of events. My surprise slowed my reaction just enough for Pops to hit me. I sailed backwards from his hit and landed in a different spring, the Spring of the Drowned Girl.”

“I have heard of Jusenkyou Springs. Each spring is named after something different that drowned in them.” Nabiki said. “Cold water activates the curse, but hot water returns the cursed person to normal form.”

Saotome Nodoka said, “My son is half man and half woman. I can live with that. As long as the man half is a man-amongst men and the woman half a woman-amongst women.”

Tendo Soun, who had barely stopped crying at the sight of the girl, started again. “My daughter is to marry a half man, half woman.” The then stopped crying as if in thought. “The dojo will continue.” He said in a normal voice, before once more starting to cry, this time with tears of joy.

Tendo Kasumi said, “Oh my.”

Tendo Nabiki said nothing, but was thinking of all of the ways to make money off this turn of events.

Tendo Akane said, “Pervert. Get him some hot water.”

Ranma held up her hand, and, if by magic, everyone fell silent. “You haven’t heard the whole story.”

“There is more?” The five asked with one voice.

“Unfortunately, yes. Remember that I said Pops took being stupid to new heights. Well, he had bought a guide book, but failed to read the pages in Japanese, stopping with the first page, which was in Chinese.”

“Anyway. After things calmed down, I read in the book about how to reverse the curse. I told Pops we needed to heat some plain water. Pops got the water while I started the fire. As a Giant Panda, Pops’s paws were to big to handle matches.”

“Anyway, soon the water was heating. Pops and I, we talked. I, amongst other things asked him if he could be any more stupid. At that time, I could see no way that things could possibly get any worse. Anyway, once the water was warm enough, Pops poured some into a bowl for me. He tossed me the bowl as he poured the rest over himself.”

The five remained silent, almost as if they knew that something worse was about to happen.

“The bowl of water Pops tossed to me turned and the water splashed all over me. I waited for the change to come, only it didn’t come. I looked at Pops. At first I didn’t notice anything different. Pops was still a panda. I was still a girl.”

“That was when Pops told me from where he had got the water to boil.”

“No.” Saotome Nodoka said. “Genma wouldn’t be that stupid.”

“Yes he would be.” The girl said.

None of the others understood.

Tendo Akane, tiring of this whole thing, reached down and grabbed the pot of tea water from the table. She then flung the hot water onto the girl in front of them.

Nothing happened.

Saotome Nodoka said. “He was that stupid.”

Tendo Soun started crying again. He didn’t understand why, but he cried anyway.

Tendo Kasumi said, “Oh, my.” She understood.

Tendo Nabiki said nothing, her dreams of wealth evaporating like the water off the girl in front of her. She understood.

Tendo Akane said. “Nothing happened. Why didn’t anything happen.” She didn’t understand.

Ranma, a bit wetter said, “My father, that stupid man used Nyannichaun water.”

Tendo Akane asked, “Nyannichaun water?”

Tendo Nabiki spoke, “Yes, little sister, Nyannichaun water; water from the Spring of the Drowned Girl. Ranma is stuck as a girl forever.”

Saotome Nodoka spoke. “When I get my hands on that husband of mine,…” She then paused and looked to her daughter and asked, “Where is your father anyway?”

“Giant Pandas are nearly extinct. Since Pops would not survive in the wild, I ‘donated’ him to the Tokyo zoo, as breeding stock.”

Saotome Nodoka was not satisfied. “So all he has to do is sit around and eat all day, and then once in a while mate with a female panda. He got off too easy. I think we should make panda soup of him.”

Ranma held up her hand once more, a smile coming to her lips. “I don’t think you understand. Like me, Pops is cursed to remain a Giant Panda;” She paused for affect, “and like me, Pops is stuck as a female.”

That night, at the Tokyo zoo a female Giant Panda held up a sign that read ‘Not tonight, I have a headache’.

Unfortunately for the Tokyo zoo’s newest female Giant Panda (named Ding-a-Ling by the young woman who donated her), the male Giant Pandas could not read.

Also unfortunately for her, her cursed form was both very fertile and very attractive to the male of the species.

Likewise, she lived a long life, surprising all experts by living nearly thirty-five years in captivity, nearly twice as long as any other known Giant Panda and she produced over fifty baby Giant Pandas (always a boy - girl set of twins) during her life. None of the experts could ever explain the signs she seemed to be able to produce when she first arrived, although the male Giant Pandas quickly broke her of that habit.

And everyday of Ding-a-Ling’s life, a beautiful red haired, blue eyed, Japanese woman visited her; and smiled.

 

 

 

 

 

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Comments

ROFLMAO

Is the only way to describe my reastion to this story, thank you I loved it.

JC

The Legendary Lost Ninja

Even funnier...

erin's picture

A joke that is in the original Ranma story that I hadn't noticed before occurred to me while reading this. Genma stops reading the guidebook because it is written in Chinese. But Japanese is written in basically the same characters [ideograms=they code ideas, not sounds] just with additions for word endings that Chinese doesn't have and a few mutations of meaning since the writing systems separated. Any intelligent, educated Japanese who cared to try could figure out most of the Chinese; one more proof that Genma is a lunkhead. :)

Nice job and welcome to the TopShelf, azgerri. :)

- Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

-giggle- Poor Ranma but that

-giggle- Poor Ranma but that seems quite suited to Genma, yep yep. -g-

-r

-a

Giggle, giggle.

Very funny story, but it needed proofing. I cannot urge the newbies here enough about this little fact. You need to proof your work and then have someone else proof it for you before posting it. Why? Because, you can have your story posted in any form, but to make it a good and even great story, all but a few need a proofer and someone who will offer you suggestion.

This is a funny story and shows that the author has good instincs with writing. This story could have been even better with the help of someone she met online or in one of our chat rooms.

Huggles azgerri! You will become a very good author!
Angel

Be yourself, so easy to say, so hard to live.

"Be Your-Self, So Easy to Say, So Hard to Live!"

Very true but speaking of wri

Very true but speaking of writing... -poke- What is in store from you, giggle-monster? -g- Do I have to reread to salve my occasional need of your typically lighthearted fare or hope for something similar? pleeeease?

-r

-a

Spring Of Hope (giggles)

Azgerri, this is very funny. A supposed master of the arts, going to train his son, and the son turns into his daughter...forever. that is really funny. I would love to have fallen in a cursed spring like that nad be able to come out as a fertle "human" (Giggles) female. Soooooooooo funny Azgerri. Keep up the good work. May the Lord be with and at your side always. With much love, peace, & (((HUGS))), your friend in Wisconsin,

Barbara Lynn Terry
"If I have to...Then I may as well be."

"With confidence and forbearance, we will have the strength to move forward."

Love & hugs,
Barbara

"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."