Wednesday morning I awoke without a penis again. I was ready to call the whole thing a hoax (note: I almost called it “fake news” but stopped before I did something I’d hate myself for). Only it had appeared just yesterday and also showed up in the shower.

I spent some time, water washing down my back looking at it. It sprang straight out of my mons, had no testes, and was otherwise exactly like my old penis. It seemed to only appear when it was erect, and my arousal didn’t trigger an erection every time. This looked to just be a case of system checks.

Evidence

Breathe in. Slowly. Slowly. Breathe. I kept my eyes closed but I sat up. When I opened them Bree handed me a flask. I pulled, not because I wanted to but because that seemed like the thing you did when someone put a flask in your hands. And I coughed, because it was straight whiskey. And I handed it back.

I smoothed the bodice of my dress down. I ran my fingers through my hair and messed it up.

Well that was every calming mechanism I had that I knew of, I turned to Autumn, “Can I have a cigarette?”

Arangements

I wish that I had blanked out how the rest of that school day went. I haven’t. The two of us got the headset all fixed up, made a compelling back story with character development, three act structure, and tragedy. Then we didn’t use any of it because people looked at my tail, saw the safety pin, and figured it out.

Everyone asked if they could touch it, and by everyone I mean two people. I explained why they could not and they didn’t. Crisis (nominally) averted.