I just had to hope I wasn’t going to move too far down the alphabet.
Mishegas
by Erin Halfelven
The light came at me like a scene from a baseball movie where the batter has a fear of the ball. It got bigger and brighter and more solid looking, and there was another universe inside it!
A blonde girl who looked a bit like me but younger (I had never been younger than I was at the moment!) seemed to be bent over something like a laptop, but I didn’t have time to see anything else because a ball of light as big as the moon hit me.
Terrified, I screamed. “My God, it’s going to end me!” And for a moment, I really feared that I was going to die, torn apart by a force I had never thought could exist. I heard someone else screaming, too and realized it must be Jack. The ball of light had gotten so big, he was included in the explosion, too, even though he had been holding the gun!
The energy of the burst filled me, and I got the feeling of being inflated by some cosmic street performer making balloon art. I’d always been fascinated by such shows as a kid, and for a fleeting moment of insanity, I wished that if he were making balloon animals, I could be a unicorn. Then I feared for a moment that I would end up a camel, one of the two-humped kind.
The world continued to explode instantaneously and over a long period at the same time! Nothing had logic or continuity or reason. I felt my body swell then my hair fell in my face, longer and even thicker than before, and I worried if I were going to be able to walk without stepping on it.
The expansive feeling moved to my chest, because of course, it would! I felt my breasts expanding under the glued-on space armor then there was a Ker-TWANG! just as I became aware of the apartment again. The plastron could not resist the new growth of my flesh. It detached itself, flew across the room and assassinated an ugly lamp that Jack had once told me had been a gift from a great-aunt. (“Well,” he’d admitted, “I guess she was an okay aunt.”)
My hands came up, but there was no containing the growth. I’d been a Double-D which should surely have been big enough for anyone. I could see my new expansion in the mirror on the open bathroom door. I just had to hope I wasn’t going to move too far down the alphabet.
I could feel growth behind me, too, and only part of that was more hair. What had been locks a bit past shoulder-length that frequently fell in my face now tickled the expanded cheeks of my bigger, rounder butt!
And almost the worst of it was it felt fantastic! It was like discovering a pony eating the tinsel on Christmas morning. Exhilarating, joyous, and a bit of a worry. Like, yikes, how big was I going to get?
I squealed and realized I was hearing the noise in stereo. There was another girl in the room. Standing where Jack had been was a very curvy brunette with assets that rivaled mine and curly black hair down to her thighs. It had to be Jack, transformed again by the strange not-a-camera-gun! She was several inches shorter than me and considerably smaller than my male roommate had been, and she was rubbing herself in delicate places with a blissful expression on her cute face!
I remembered what Jack had explained about changing back. “Hey! None of that!”
“Huh?” She responded in a breathy voice like Marilyn Monroe, her mouth slightly open and showing a delicate overbite.
I replayed what I had just said and heard an echo of Jack’s (Jacquie’s) seductive whisper.
“I think we’re in trouble here?” It came out sounding like a question.
“Ya think?” Jacquie asked with a giggle. “It blew all our clothes off! We’re naked!”
I looked down. She was right. I rolled my eyes at her, and she burst into more giggles, then pointed. The smoking pile of tubes and wires at my feet must have been what was left of the transformation device.
I moaned, then decided not to do that again—it was way too suggestive! “Are we both stuck now?” I brushed hair out of my face and glared at my reflection down the hall.
“I dunno,” Jacquie admitted. “Could we try to change back—uh—using the method that worked for me before?” She had a hand on one breast as she suggested this.
“No,” I responded immediately.
“Aw, c’mon, Hallie! We’re both super hot!”
“We’ve got to find something to wear!”
“Why?” Jacquie’s eyes had become a little glassy. She looked quite a bit like one of the raunchier depictions of Aphrodite one sees in certain magazines, and I knew I looked much the same, only blonde.
“Snap out of it!” I ordered her.
“Spoilsport!” she pouted a bit but decided on a giggle instead. “I bet I could put something for us to wear together out of some of Jack’s clothes.”
“Huh? I don’t think anything he—you?—had is likely to fit either of us.”
“Sure it will!” She assured me and headed for Jack’s room. “I’ll cut off some pants, and we can wear his big dress shirts as tops. Tied at our waists, they will be so-oo sexy!”
I followed the chain of giggles. “Are you sure he won’t mind?”
She looked at me for a moment. “Trust me, Jack would love to see us in some of his clothes.”
“Uh? Sure?” It made sense if you looked at it right.
“We’ll have to get pictures,” Jacquie commented as she set to work on some of Jack’s pants.
“Not with that camera,” I said, gesturing at the still sizzling remains of the—magic?—contraption that had started this whole mishegas. (I’m in show business, so I have a license to use Yiddish.)
“We have to hurry,” said Jacquie. “We’re due at the mall for our bikini fittings in less than half an hour!”
I was just slithering into a pair of shorts made from Jack’s slacks when what she had just said registered. “Wait? What?”
Comments
Jacqui will never be able to resist!
She is SO going to turn herself back!
Lots of giggles, Erin. Thanks!
Emma
Kinda predictable, huh? :)
No bets are being taken on this one. :)
Hugs,
Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
“Wait? What?”
giggles. definitely mishegas going on!
Definitely
Even without a license to use Yiddish. :)
Hugs,
Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
What's worse than moving too
What's worse than moving too far down the alphabet? Running out of characters while doing so. >:-> They should pray they never hit ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha though, that could get them into a real shlimazl. ;-)
It looks like the plastron had good taste to attack the lamp. :-)
And change back? Not if they have a good business sense. Lots of money to make this way. :-) Provided they can act reasonably well.
I have a feeling that the bikini fitting might take much longer than anticipated. :-)
Thx for another nice chapter^^
Jacquie
Jacquie doesn't need the money, so for her, changing back can be a win. And if the gun can be repaired, maybe this form can become just an alternate for her. :)
But for Hallie...well, she already has problems. :)
Hugs,
Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
ID?
" May I see some ID please? A driver's license, passport, military ID, or some form of state or federal issued form of photo identification as well as at least two other forms of identification. "
Oops!
"Social Security card? Prior years' tax returns?"
Help!!!
Jacquie has zero dollars to HER name. Jack has plenty of money to his name, but Jacquie can't prove her right to withdraw any of it.
"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin
True!
A good reason to change back. I wonder if she's going to need help?
Hugs,
Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
Novel method to remove clothing
Even the super-duper adhesive was unable to resist. Maybe a good thing it came off vs. smooshing her anatomy more.
Bikini fitting? It does not sound like they will have anything remotely close to her size or in a strong enough material to manage her new assets. Maybe a sailmaker's shop would be able to help.
Kevlar?
;)
Chiffon? >:->
Chiffon? >:->
Good thought
But maybe whipped cream would be popular?
Hugs,
Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
We'll save that
We'll save that for her career playing a superheroine.n:)
Hugs,
Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
Ha!
Hallie's wardrobe malfunction was a scene I had imagined from the very beginning. :)
Hugs,
Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.