Previously: Amber (later known as Zhou Yu) has been trained at a slave school in the ways of a pleasure slave. Sold into the house of a feudal lord named, Gaius, she has proved useful in enlarging his fortune; but at the cost of enraging the emissaries of the Seven Gods who have promised to chasten her. She disappears suddenly from Gaius' villa in Albion, and awakes in Thamud where she is sold into the royal household. There she meets her Master and learns of his "secret." Discovered by the Qin and accused of being a spy, she is forced to spend three months as a servant girl at Emei in the Flaming Mountains. Returning to Thamud, she begins preparations to meet the invading armies of Talos. She is three months pregnant with her Master's child.
Chapter 10 An Uneasy Peace . Motherhood
Our late Winter negotiations with Talos ended in indecision and suspicion; and the Qin negotiators arrived in the capital of Talos to replace them and begin their own entreaties one week ago. Messengers continually arrive from across the border with days old news of what has transpired.
The Qin first appealed to the Talosian emperor's military acumen.
They reiterated that the forces of Thamud, without the conspicuous aid of the Qin, had annihilated the invading armies of Talos last winter.
They added that they had just returned from the emissaries of the Seven and received word that the Qin's personal intervention in the conflict would not be impeded. At their disposal, was a more extensive knowledge of the transport and use of the fire medicine derived from saltpeter and sulfur, as well as the gas and oil normally used to heat the cities of the Qin. The Talosian already knew of the Qin's ability to fight off siege engines and this would only add to their worries. In essence, they promised to make Thamud a poisonous frog which if consumed would only make Talos vulnerable to all its neighbors
They then appealed to the Talosian Emperor's reason reciting a story from their own ancient history, a story about an imminent war between the much larger state of Chu against the state of Song which was but a tenth of its side.
[Scribes Note: Here a meeting between Mozi and the King of Chu is given in a translation by a scholar of Ki by the name of “Johnston.”]
“Suppose now there is a man who casts aside his own decorated sedan and wishes to steal a broken-down carriage which his neighbor has; who casts aside his own embroidered coat and wishes to steal a short jacket of coarse cloth which his neighbor has; who cast aside his own grain and meat and wished to steal chaff and dregs which his neighbor has. What sort of man would this be?
The king replied: “He would certainly be a pathological thief.”
In relating this they allowed the Talosians a moral and face saving excuse to forego a new invasion of Thamud. And so the Emperor of Talos, after a period of deliberation, relented, and an uneasy peace has settled upon us. The negotiations continue as I write and our preparations for war proceed as planned but now at a slower pace; we dare not assume that Talos is done with us.
Dear Reader,
My first portrait on An was done when I was first married to my beloved; we were both dressed in all the finery of the royal house and stood before an imagined Thamudian landscape. Later, I would sit for portraits with the entire royal family and once again when I was pregnant.
In the latter work, my husband and I can be seen standing in our bedchamber while wearing the attire of Thamudian royalty. The room was decorated with fine silks, gold ornaments, and decorative colored glass, a specialty of the Northern “Barbarians.”
I wore a headdress which largely covered my hair, and also an ear ring on my left ear lobe which peeped out from underneath my veil; indicating that I had once been a slave. My husband's large mastiff sits obediently in the background between us on an elaborate Thamudian rug. A convex mirror above this reflects not only us but a distorted map of all the historical borders of our land; even those which had been previous annexed by the Talosians. I am looking down demurely and at my beloved as he looks out towards the viewer, his hand lightly and possessively touching my pregnant belly.
My first born child arrived in the Winter and he was a boy. We named him, Safin.
It has been a week since he was given to me. He now sleeps in a cradle by my writing table after his feeding. He is so well behaved and the joy of his father. My delivery was, thank the Seven, uneventful or so the midwife has told me. I have not seen any woman in labor but I can truthfully say that it is as painful as it is rumored to be; I have been told that it will get easier with my third child if not my second. The kingdom is always in need of more heirs and I am willing and happy to perform my duty.
It is tiring but fulfilling to be a mother. I had hoped it would be so but still harbor doubts about my fitness to take on this role. I am much too young, too lacking in the milk of human kindness, too selfish. More than ever, I wish that I had grown up as a girl; I feel that would have better prepared me for my obligations as a mother.
The Queen and my sisters have helped me considerably – delighted as they are with the first new life in the royal household in years. I am sometimes tearful, and they have spent long hours waiting on me and talking with me when I am willing. When I drift off to sleep only to be awakened by my son's cries, one of them is always beside me, to help me. I have told them to leave but they will not as long as they see the unaccustomed sadness on my face.
I know this will pass. I still dream of life with my son and my beloved. What a joy it will be to see him grow. I now know, more than ever, that I was given the greatest gift in the world on that day, over three years ago, when I was taken to this world and made a woman.
If I am tardy with further entries into this journal, all new mothers will know why.