Part 21 - Verdict and Sentence

"It is time for you to go upstairs, Christie, and learn whether you are, as all of us believe, ready for the next phase," Amanda intoned, her voice deeply solemn. "As my Mother and I were told in our turn, so I will now say this to you. When you know your time has come, look deeply into your most secret self. Your Mind, Your Body and Your Spirit. If you have completed your trial and are truly ready to emerge fully into your power? You will find Charlie there, waiting for you. Gather yourself, reach into yourself, and pull him out. The magic will invoke, and you will emerge."

Amanda turned and nodded to her Mother. Rebekah remained silent but came over and embraced Christie and then kissed her solemnly before stepping away. Amanda took her place and repeated the physical blessing. Then she also stepped away. "Go in peace, daughter, with our blessing. Trust your intuition and find your true path."

The intensity of their shared emotions made Christie's breath catch in her throat, and for a few moments more, it was all she could do just to stare at her two loved ones. Finally, she called upon her training, centered herself, and bowed deeply to her Grandmother and Mother. Standing back erect, Christie turned away and headed up the stairs to her room.

Inside, Christie moved to the place she had prepared for her night's journey. Her yoga mat was in front of the floor-to-ceiling mirror she usually used for practicing her ballet positions. She'd moved her bedside lamp to illuminate the mirror in the otherwise darkened room. Her preparations were complete; Christie stripped off her robe, assumed the lotus position and focused on her nude reflected image in the mirror.

Slowly, carefully, she entered a deep, meditative state and then focused her 'inner eye' on her own being. Deep into her body, into her mind, into her very essence and spirit, Christie searched. Suddenly, a speck of light appeared and seemed to beckon to her. She followed it, deeper and deeper. Slowly, the bit of light began to grow, began to take shape, and she drew ever closer, she found herself looking at a human form. Closer yet, she could see that the body was nude and male. Ever closer she came, until at last, the male shape resolved into the figure of Charles McKellar.

Christie 'reached' out with her 'hand' intending to grasp his, but Charlie dodged. She tried again, closing on him, but once more, he avoided her grip, much to her dismay. Taking a moment, she just studied herself? Himself? in the void around them. Then she pounced and snatched Charlie's hand in hers before he could react. Then she began to pull.

Whenever Christie had let herself daydream about how this moment would be, never, not even for a moment, had she thought their meeting would be this adversarial. Charlie fought her, resisting her every effort to bring him to the surface. What she had imagined as a magical, beautiful dance had devolved into a blasted tug of war.

Well, she told herself firmly, if that's the way it had to be, she could darn well handle it. Channeling everything she was into the effort, Christie pulled with her entire being. Slowly at first, the two avatars began to move 'upward.' Faster and faster, they rose until they flashed through to the surface together. Eyes clearing, Charlie now sat on the yoga mat in the lotus seat, looking at his reflection.

He sat there for several moments, again searching for his center. Recovering somewhat, Charlie stood and examined his nude masculine body. He was taller than he had been a year ago - maybe two inches and probably twenty pounds heavier by the look of his well-muscled physique. What about his power?

Thinking of that made him instantly aware of the wellspring of power bubbling up within him. He tried some of the things he'd learned as Christie and found them much easier now. Taking a deep breath, Charlie summoned forth his healer sight . . .

And got nothing.

He tried again, using another healer technique his Mother had taught Christie. Nothing again. Determinedly, he focused his chi as Grandfather Kim had taught him. Trying to use his precognitive abilities to access his healer skills, he found nothing to unlock.

Because there was nothing to find. Charlie, like all the men in his family before him, was not a healer.

Not sure what to do next, Charlie resumed his lotus seat and began focusing on recalling his "Charlie Timeline" memories. He then screamed in rage and despair when they played before his mind's eye.

Valerie had been Charlie's girlfriend. 'Had been' was the operative phrase because Valerie was dead in this timeline. As he had in the Christie Timeline incident, Tad had attacked Charlie and Val from behind. This Tad had come at them from behind. He'd gone for Charlie first, again with a rear-naked choke, but far more effectively applied in this timeline because he'd been planning it. The rest of the incident played out the same as the Christie incident. Valerie had attacked Tad from behind, breaking his hold on Charlie. This incident was just the same as Christie's had been. Except for two critical differences.

Charlie wasn't a healer. When he'd tried to mimic his Mother's abilities to help the fallen Valerie, nothing had happened. No healing. No link. And Val had died of a massive brain hemorrhage before the EMTs even arrived at the scene.

The second difference was that Charlie was physically much more powerful than Christie. He was also a black belt karateka who was nearly ready to test for 2nd Dan. Charlie had completed Christie's back elbow, back-kick combination, finishing with a spinning back fist to Tad's face. Charlie had, like Christie, unconsciously focused his developing sorcerous power behind all three blows. The elbow broke Tad's ribs. Charlie's back kick destroyed the other boy's knee. The coup de gras came when Charlie's spinning back fist drove the shattered remnants of his opponent's nose and cheekbone into his brain. Tad died instantly.

Tears flowed freely as Charlie went over the incident again and again. The cops had decided it was justified self-defense. However, they'd been surprised at the amount of damage Charlie's attack had inflicted. Grandfather Kim had been there, as before, but there was nothing for him to do. In the end, Charlie knew he'd failed. He'd failed to protect his girl, and he'd failed Sa Bum Nim by using his arts to take a life.

What was it that Master had said on that old TV show? Charlie remembered being enamored of the syndicated reruns of the show 'Kung Fu' when he first started learning the martial arts. Oh, yeah. Master Kan had told young Caine, "Avoid, rather than check. Check, rather than hurt. Hurt, rather than maim. Maim, rather than kill. For all life is precious, nor can any be replaced."

And now, two lives had been lost because he'd failed. Worse, his determination to be a healer wasn't happening. Oh, Charlie could go to medical school, but that wasn't what he and Christie had wanted. Christie had planned to use her Healer Sight and Talent to understand diseases in ways Charlie never would be able. Then she could use those magically obtained insights to find more mundane methods of accomplishing what she could with her magic.

Dammit, he did not want to live with having been a killer! More to the point? Christie's Valerie needed him. . .her. Charlie/Christie NEEDED to be a healer.

Sitting up straight, Charlie focused on the image in the mirror. For the fourth time this evening, Charlie centered himself and dove back into his inner self. This time he went searching for Christie.

Several hours later, Amanda and Rebekah, having heard nothing and seen nothing of either Charlie or Christie, had crept stealthily up to his/her bedroom. Cracking open the door, Amanda peaked in and saw her daughter, unconscious, lying on the bedroom floor in front of the mirror.

~-~

Part 22 - Facing the Morning After

The smell of freshly brewed coffee tickled at the edges of Christie's awareness. Although sleep still beckoned, she cracked one eye open and surveyed her space. There was sunlight peaking around her bedroom's window shades, suggesting that she had missed sunrise again. Struggling awake, she glanced over at her digital clock and took in the time and the day. It was Monday which meant morning ballet class, and she only had an hour before she had to head off for the dance studio. Reaching over to turn on her lamp, Christie was momentarily surprised to find it missing from her bedside table.

Sitting up, Christie took stock of her situation. She was momentarily startled to see her lamp on the other side of her room, near her dressing mirror. Where she'd put it in preparation for the last phase of her sorcerer's trial. But the last thing she recalled was sitting on the yoga mat and seeing Charlie's reflection in her mirror. She almost asked herself how she'd gotten into bed, dressed in a nightgown no less, when the answer immediately became apparent. Mom and Grandma had taken care of her.

Pulling off her nightgown in preparation for her morning shower, Christie stopped in front of her mirror and scrutinized herself. Evidently, Charlie's attempt at the transformation spell was also successful. Christie was back in all her feminine glory.

Christie took a minute to consider what she should do next. There were questions she needed to answer and problems to be faced. For a moment, Christie thought about trying to find answers to her questions on her own but then thought better of it. Between the two of them, her Mother and Grandmother had many years of experience dealing with sorcerous issues. Christie figured she'd get better answers far more quickly with their help than by stumbling along in the dark by herself.

Nodding to herself, Christie hustled into her bathroom.

~-~

She found her Mother and Grandmother sitting at the breakfast bar drinking their morning coffee when she strode in, dressed in a leotard and leggings, ready for dance class. She went to the cupboard for her own cup, poured her morning coffee, then took her own seat at the bar.

Christie was trying to decide how best to initiate this discussion when her Mother exclaimed, "You decided to choose Christie?"

Nodding, Christie put her cup down and sighed. "Yes. Charlie wasn't a healer," she told them solemnly, "And as I told you both, there is something in me, in my spirit if you will, that needs to be a healer. Charlie could have gotten a medical degree, but he couldn't do what I want to accomplish by combining my powers with modern medical technology."

"And you still have your healer talents?" Rebekah asked gently.

"Pretty sure I do, Grandma Bekka. I was going to tinker around upstairs trying to figure out what I can now do, but that seemed inefficient when I had you two here to help me. Besides, I have to be at class in a little over an hour to help teach the kids, so I didn't want to waste any time. What do you recommend we do first?"

Amanda nodded and thought for a moment. "Why don't you go over into the center of the kitchen and stand straight, arms out at the shoulders. Mom? You want to scan for raw power while I try to categorize her abilitie from her aura?"

Christie assumed the requested position, standing before the two older women. She relaxed her mind and was startled when she actually felt the touch of each sorceress' power as they scanned her.

"OH, MY GODDESS!" Rebekah yelped. "Her power! It's bubbling and sizzling like an erupting volcano. I've never . . . Amanda, she's half again as powerful as you, and you were the strongest I've ever scanned before her."

Amanda didn't immediately reply and stayed focused on her own task of sorting through her daughter's aura, then correlating that to her magical strengths and talents. Amanda's spell worked like a spectrograph; only the output should have given them clues to the extent of Christie's new abilities. However, her daughter's auric frequency peaks and nulls didn't correlate to anything she'd ever sensed before. Finally, she dropped her spell and sat heavily down on her chair. "Mother? We may need to call in some Old School experts to examine her. Her aura is unlike anything I've ever seen before. She has some extreme auric frequencies that I have never encountered before. The only thing I'm sure of is that she is, in fact, a Healer. A remarkably POWERFUL healer."

"Well," Grandmother said, "That's all well and good. Only one small problem with that. If we don't know what she can do, how in heaven's name are we going to train her?"

"That's why we're going to need the experts, Mom. I can help her with her healing, and you can manage general sorcery, but whatever abilities those other frequencies indicate? We have to know what they are to even plan her training."

"Umm, Mom? Grandmother? Am I a danger to others?"

"Are you dangerous? Potentially, yes," Amanda said carefully, "But everything I know about our abilities is that using them requires intent. Otherwise, we couldn't sleep. A nightmare might lead to some type of catastrophic response, and to my knowledge."

"What about what I did to Tad?" Christie asked, but at the same time recalling Charlie's experience in the other timeline.

"You had intent, child," her Grandmother answered. "If I recall what you told me about it, you focused everything you had when you retaliated against him. The act of focus is intent. If you were attacked from behind again? Taken by surprise and reacted as you've been trained in your martial arts? You would be very dangerous to your attacker, probably even lethal. Otherwise? No, you're not because you do not want or intend to hurt anyone."

"How long do you think it will take to get these experts here to evaluate me and recommend my training?"

"Your Mother has to go to work today, but I'll reach out to my contacts and set something up. I'm fairly sure we can have someone here in a few days."

Christie shrugged her shoulders and nodded. "I guess I'm going to be walking on eggshells until then. Is there anything else you can do now?" Mother and Grandmother shared a look, then shook their heads. "Okay, so we wait. In the meantime, I do have a question about last night."

"Only one?" Amanda asked, chuckling.

"For now, anyway. How come you didn't tell me how hard I'd have to fight to get Charlie to come back with me when I found him?"

"Huh?"

"What??" her Mother asked. "What do you mean you had to fight?"

"Well, at first, I thought it must have been part of the trial - sort of a final challenge? Whenever I reached out to him, he dodged away or broke my grip. Several times. I practically had to attack him, and even then, once I had a firm grip, he still resisted me the whole way back to our reality."

"That is very strange," Rebekah murmured. "I've never heard or read of such a thing. In my case, my alternate self met me halfway, and the instant we touched, I was back in the real world, transformed." She looked to Amanda, who was nodding in agreement. "It took a little effort to find him, but once I did? Nothing like you've described."

"I wondered about that. I figured you'd have at least hinted if there was something like that involved." Shaking her head at the memory, Christie added softly to herself, "It was as if Charlie didn't want to come back with me."

"Why wouldn't he?" Amanda demanded. "It's the culmination of the trial, the key step to the next phase. Why would you even think that?"

Christie didn't immediately reply; she just sat there looking unhappy. Finally, she blew out a breath and looked up at her Mother. "He wasn't a healer, Mom," she said softly.

"So?" Grandma Bekka retorted. "Neither am I. There must be something else, dear."

"Maybe. I think I might know, and I think . . . I think I need to discuss this with Grandfather Kim. I'll tell you if you absolutely must know, Mom, but I'd really like Papa Kim's take on this first. It's psychic stuff, and uhm, pretty far out there on the weird scale."

Amanda didn't like that idea at all. Christie saw her start to tell her daughter that couple of times, but she stopped herself each time. "I really want to know, Christie, but if you think this is something you need to discuss with Papa first, I will accept your judgment. But only for the time being. Promise me that you will discuss whatever this is with me eventually. I'm your Mother, and you . . .you're my baby, and I need to protect you!"

Rising from her seat, Christie moved quickly to stand between the two women, encircling each in one arm. The three women rocked each other, offering comfort until the youngest of them spoke. "I promise. I think it's like the precog stuff. I'm hoping Papa Kim will be able to help me sort this all out in my head." Breaking the hug, she looked at their kitchen clock. "Now, I've got to be off to the studio, and you, Mom, are running late for work. See you both later. I'm gonna try to see Grandfather Kim this afternoon."

~-~

When Christie finished her ballet lesson, she felt better. The kids had been great, and they'd accomplished a great deal. Even Madame Renee had been impressed. Maybe, sometime in the future, Christie figured she could get almost used to the new almost-nice Renee Coulter. Before class, Renee had asked Christie, quite nicely, if the younger woman felt well enough to participate today. It was only Monday, and her Mom had kept Christie out of class on Friday because she'd been overdoing again. Maybe someday she would. But then again, maybe not.

Christie had called Sa Bum Nim before her ballet class, and he'd told her he'd have all the time she needed after 1:30 but would be tied up working with the advanced black belts until then. They'd agreed upon 2PM since Grandfather simply couldn't say no to a student who had a question or needed guidance.

With time on her hands, Christie decided to go visit Valerie. Her link to Valerie seemed to be more robust and more detailed than before her trial had ended the previous night. If she concentrated, Christie would swear that she could smell the distinct odor of hospital-grade disinfectants. She also seemed to be able to sense when Val had a visitor. She needed to give her BFF a status report on their linkage after she dumped the whole sorcery deal on her last Saturday.

As Christie walked in, Valerie was just finishing her lunch - which Christie clearly sensed had not been a culinary delight. "Hey, Stevens, how are you doing?"

"Christie! It's you!"

Giving herself a thorough looking over and then stepping in front of a nearby mirror, Christie nodded and smiled at her friend. "Yup. I'm definitely me. Good call, girlfriend."

"Oh, you! You know what I meant. You're not that. What was his name? That Charlie-guy you said I knew. So either what you told me about didn't work, or you changed back after the first try worked?"

Christie moved a chair to be close to Valerie's ear and still have a clear view of the room's entrance. In a near whisper, she replied, "It worked, and I did, in fact, change back."

"Well, why, dummy? I mean, I'm all for girl power, but if you were born a guy and raised a guy, why not stay a guy? No glass ceiling and all that crap."

"Two reasons, really. First, I have a reputation to maintain. You'd have been Charlie's girlfriend if he'd stayed, which meant he'd have to cut Daniel out of the picture." Christie was trying to be careful and not tell Valerie all of Charlie and Val's story. "And after all the effort I went through to hook you two lovebirds up, I just couldn't allow that. So I'm still all-girl, and Daniel can safely continue to plight his troth! And I remain the undisputed matchmaker of the Kim Dojang. Good thing you don't do girls, huh?"

"Yeah, okay, McKellar. You are a true marvel of modern romance. So, what's the second and more likely, real reason you are here in all your feminine glory, hmmm?"

Christie was glad Valerie would never know the real reason and told her, "Charlie wasn't a healer. Never could be a healer because he didn't have the right powers. So Medical School to become a doctor was his only option, and that just isn't good enough for Charlie or me."

"And you still have healing abilities?"

"Yes, and I am much more powerful that way than I was last time we talked."

Eyes wide, Valerie stared up at Christie with hope shining on her face. "Does that mean. . . does that mean you can fix me? All the way?"

"I'm pretty sure I'll be able to once I learn how to control it. Right now, I don't think I should try. You know that saying that boys have, 'if the only tool you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail?'"

"No, but it sounds like the kind of crap boys would say."

Christie giggled. "Yeah, well, Right now? All I have is a damned hammer. A freakin' great big one and I think I need something a little more subtle and finely controlled before I try to mess around in your grey matter."

"Well, when you put it like that. How long do you think it will take you to learn? The doctors are really noncommittal about how bad this might get or how soon."

"Okay, my healer abilities basically come down to two different talents. One is the ability to directly interact with living tissue and fix what's broke. Right now, that's a sledgehammer. The other ability is what we call Healer Sight. I can see or sense what's wrong. That works just fine. Between my Mother and me working together on you last Saturday, we arrested any further spread of that bruise on your brain. It's not going to get any worse. YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GET ANY WORSE. I am SURE of that, okay? Believe me, Val! That's the straight stuff."

A couple of tears leaked out of Valerie's eyes, and she reached over to place her hand on Christie's. "Okay, girlfriend, I believe, and thanks."

Christie patted her friend's hand and smiled. "You're welcome. Anything else on your mind? I need to grab some lunch and see Grandfather Kim at the dojang."

"Oh, lots and lots, McKellar, but nothing that can't wait for another time. Have a good lunch."

"Thanks, babe. See you soon." Christie leaned over and kissed her friend on the forehead. "Keep the faith, girl."

Christie had just about reached the door when Val called out to her. Looking back over her shoulder, she stopped and lifted a single eyebrow in query. "Hey, Christie? Whoever said I didn't do girls? Byeeee."

~-~

Christie wasn't sure why it was so easy to unload on Papa Kim - his Jedi Mind Tricks, maybe - but it seemed like she could tell him anything, and he'd be able to help. As she went over last night's adventures in detail, he simply sat and listened quietly. His trademark little half-smile encouraging her to tell him everything.

"I just . . .no, let's say it this way, Charlie couldn't confront what he'd done, what he'd lost, his failure. All we could think of was that old Kung Fu Television show. There was that quote from the first show about avoiding rather than checking up until maim rather than kill because all life is precious. I've told my folks and Val that Christie is back because of the Healer thing. That's mostly the truth but in all honesty? If Charlie had been a healer with Val and Tad still dead? I don't know what I would have done."

"A very said tale, Jeja, and one you should take with you in the future. Let me, however, make a few observations. Master Kan's statement is very accurate and something to live by, but you must remember that he did not say you can never kill. Just that it is the very last resort. Remember that the Shao Lin were an order of warrior monks. In their mission of protecting and helping people, they sometimes had to step in where others would kill, and their only recourse was to kill first.

"Secondly, recall that Tae Kwando is a martial art. It can be a sport played by artificial rules intended to prevent injury or worse. However, I have taught the arts to young soldiers in the South Korean Army. They did not learn these skills to practice sports; they learned to stay alive in a hostile world at war.

"So, let us consider Tad's attack on Charlie and Valerie. Had Charlie not reacted with his whole ability, had he 'pulled his punch,' there might have been three deaths and not just two. Charlie did as he had to do, Jeja, and the only blame in that is Tad's. Charlie did not fail. He did his best.

"Now, as to your statement that even if Charlie had been a healer, he would have gone back to Christie because you did not say it, but it was because of shame?" Face crumpling, Christie nodded her agreement and tried to choke back sobs. "Jeja, if Charlie had been a healer, Valerie would not have died, just as she did not die in this timeline. You told me Charlie tried to use his healer abilities on her. If he'd had them, they'd have done what yours did, and when you transformed back to Charlie, he would have been able to help Valerie in the same way you will soon be able to, correct?"

Christie forced herself to calm and considered Sa Bum Nim's words. Valerie had died because Charlie wasn't a healer, but if he had BEEN a healer . . .? "It makes my head spin trying to follow that logic, but I think maybe you're right," she finally said with a watery little smile. "Maybe."

"Meditate on it, Jeja. I think you will see what I mean and find peace. All right?" Breathing deeply, his girl nodded. "Anything else?"

Sighing again, she nodded. "Sa Bum Nim? I am MUCH more powerful than I was; much more powerful than Charlie was in his TimeLine. I am afraid that I might inadvertently lash out like I did against Tad during class sparring sessions. I'm wondering if I should give up the arts for the safety of others."

"No. As I said after the Tad incident, you will always have this power just below the surface. What you must do is be in absolute control of it. To accomplish that, you must discipline your mind, body and spirit. My family and I will teach you, and you will learn. You need the arts more than ever, Jeja. However, I do not think you should plan on competing unless it is something like Freestyle Poomsae."

"I was never much into the competition side of things anyway, Sa Bum Nim. What is Freestyle Poomsae?"

The old man grinned broadly at his student. "Think of it as a fusion of Ballet and Taekwando done to music and scored like gymnastics. I think you could be a contender, Jeja."

"Wow. Cool, Grandfather. What a great concept! Madame Renee could help me, too!"

Papa Kim laughed and reached over to pat Christie on the shoulder. "Just so, Jeja. Now, I think you should go home and have a heart-to-heart with your Mother. Just between you and me? She called me today, very upset about what you felt you couldn't tell her. She needs to know, and you need to tell her, yes?"

"Yes, Grandfather. Thank you."

~-~