Part 5
But that revelation would come later. Firstly I was shown to my room. Birgitta said it wasn’t very big but it was bigger than my room at the tower block and had a proper ensuite. The wardrobe contained a riot of colour and there was a silk nightdress lying on the bed.
She showed me the performance outfit that the band had sent over and it was truly amazing. It was a typical salwar kameez in thought only. The pants were cuffed at the ankles with thin satin draw-string; the tunic was down below the knees but was far more fitted than I had been used to wearing. The thing that made it different was that it was in a very light silky material and was a gorgeous shade of gold-bronze. My first thought was that I wouldn’t be seen dead wearing that but when Birgitta took the hanger and held it against me while we looked in the mirror I suddenly thought that I was going to look stunning in front of the band unless they had even brighter outfits.
“No-one will suspect that you are less than a pretty girl” she said “I think even Guptar will find it difficult to recognise you now.” She told me to relax for a while and have a shower as it had been a long day for me so far. She suggested that I put on fresh underwear and opened a drawer with colourful bras and pants that matched the outfits hanging up. “A girl tries to co-ordinate her colours” she said “we have got these so that you can get through the next few weeks and I can help you dress if you have a problem choosing.” I turned and hugged her and whispered “You have done so much for me so far I don’t know whether to thank you or faint in fright of wearing these in public.”
I could not relax and after I had showered I dressed as instructed in a very lightweight midnight blue outfit. I left my room and went down towards the living area. I found Aganee in the kitchen and she smiled and greeted me with a hug. I could get used to this behaviour. I asked her if I could go to the music room as I needed to see how I would be able to play the dholaks with my new attachments and especially with the rings and nails I now wore.
She pointed out the way and told me I had about an hour and that she would send the maid to fetch me for dinner. I went into the music room and started to play quietly. It took several minutes before I realised that the rings created a very new sound when I slapped the drum-skin, much like using a drumstick but I could vary the note by bending my fingers slightly. My new upper shape meant that I had to carry my arms wider out from my body when I played but, by the time the maid came for me, I was back in my old groove.
The maid led me to the dining room where the family had already started to seat themselves. When I walked in Guptar stood and came over to me with a huge smile and hugged me, saying “Geet, you look beautiful. You will be a stand-out with the band, I bet Tavleen will have to eat her words when she sees you tomorrow,” He introduced me to Gaurav “My eldest son, a very bright boy but wayward. He is manager of our biggest store and will take over the business when I am gone, that is, if he can stay out of jail.” I smiled at the man who stood at the table with a slack jaw and looking at me with intent. I wondered initially if he was actually dim-witted and it was all a big joke but then he closed his mouth and smiled as he said “Geet, Father has told me that we were hosting the band for a couple of weeks but he didn’t tell me that the replacement drummer was so stunning.”
“Drummer!” I said “don’t just call me a drummer. I am a percussionist and don’t you forget it.” Aganee laughed out loud and said to her grandson “That’s put you in your place young man; she is also one of the best singers I have heard.” We were seated with me across the table from Gaurav who found it difficult to eat while looking at me. I started to wonder if I had a piece of food on my chin. This was the first meal I had eaten in my new life and tried to remember how my previous girlfriends had been at the meal table. The atmosphere was jovial and when Gaurav tried to pester me with questions about my past his grandmother chastised him for being rude. Grette spent much of the meal-time trying hard not to burst out giggling; I could see she was almost at breaking point.
After the meal we retired to the lounge and Gaurav stayed close to me and then said that he would like to hear me sing. The lounge had a piano in it and Grette said she would play for me. She started playing the tune to the song that I had sung in the tryout and I stood by her and sang it again with my eyes closed and now feeling the words move me as if I was really a woman. When I finished and the piano was silent I opened my eyes and there was moisture in everyone else’s’. Guptar looked at me with admiration and pride; Gaurav looked at me with – love?
We had a bit of a sing-song for a while and then Aganee said that we ladies should retire to the snug so that the men could have a brandy and a smoke. In the smaller and more feminine room Grette finally broke down into giggles and Birgitta and Aganee gave me a group hug, Aganee saying “Girl, you have made your first conquest tonight. I have never seen my grandson look at a woman like that before. He usually has a look like a wolf going into a hen house but tonight he looked like a dog wanting his tummy rub.” Birgitta agreed and said that we must be vigilant and make sure he doesn’t find out my secret as he could get angry and violent. I agreed that this was a complication I didn’t need but when I thought deep inside my soul I realised that I felt somewhat honoured by the attention.
The maid brought us tea and when we had chatted for a while I said that I was tired as it had been a very strange day and Aganee walked with me back to my room. She said, quietly “Not only did I see the looks that Gaurav gave you, my dear, but I also caught the flash of joy in your face before you managed to hold it in. He spoke to your soul, didn’t he?” I had to say that I was honoured by his reaction to me but I didn’t know if it was happiness at being able to pass as a woman or happiness that I thought he wanted me to be his woman. “My dear” she told me “it means the same thing from this side. You are just happy to be a woman at last.” She kissed me on the cheek at my door and told me to sleep well. Breakfast will be brought to me and to dress afterwards in my performance outfit as the girls wanted to spend the day creating parts of the show and teaching me the moves they had.
I undressed and washed my face. It was odd to see my make-up still there after I had rubbed at it. I put on the nightdress and got into the best bed I have ever slept in and went off with the light. In the middle of the night I woke with a full bladder and went into the ensuite and, without thinking about it, pulled up my nightie and sat to pee, giving myself a wipe with a piece of toilet paper afterwards before going back to bed. I laid a while ruminating on the last thing that Aganee had said. Was I happy that I was pretending to be a woman, or was it not so much pretending as trying to be. I certainly liked the attention I had got so far as my life had been like a leaf in a current prior to today. I did not realise the power I had with my singing before and wondered if the rest of the world thought the same as these lovely people. I went back to sleep to dream that I was on a stage, a sheaf of flowers in my arms and bowing to an audience who were on their feet and cheering my name.
I woke to see the maid with the tray saying “Wake up, Geet; it is time for your breakfast.” It was delicious, as every bit of food I had eaten in this house was, and when I set the tray aside I stripped off and went to do my ablutions. The shower had a huge range of shampoos, conditioners and body wash and I sniffed at them all until I found a perfume I liked and used those. I dressed carefully starting with my special underpants that gave me a feminine groin and finishing with putting on the salwar kameez and matching chunni. I watched myself in the mirror as I slid the rings and bracelets on and then put on the necklace. There were matching leather jutti and I slipped them on and I was now a complete performer.
I took a good long look at my reflection to see if I could see any Gavin in there but, not only did I see no part of him, I found that I did not feel much of him either. I looked, and felt, like Geet; the fado singer and dholak player. I smiled and threw myself a kiss before leaving the room to see what my first full day as a woman was going to throw at me.
Marianne G 2021
