Gerold vs. the Good Old Boys

6/ Recovery

By Jo Dora Webster

Cover Art by Melanie E.

What produced the crying jag
which Gerrie had in the hospital?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

6/ Recovery

Dr Drake was waiting for me to wake apparently. She was the first person that I saw after opening my eyes. I wondered how long I had been out this time.

"I am so glad that you are awake, Gerrie. Now you know why that you checking yourself out was against my better judgment You are one stubborn person. Was it worth it? Did you get done that thing that was so important to you.?"

Doctor Drake looked positively livid and angry at me. Here I had just gone through all that abuse by the Good Ol' Boys, almost dying yet again, and all she could do is scold me with an I told you so. Were I the person before the heart attack, I would have just 'taken it like a man.' That's what I wanted to do but instead I could not help myself, I just started crying and crying. I couldn't stop!

I could no longer see what was going on, I was crying so. I heard snatches of the conversation to follow but eventually I ended up with my head rested against Nurse Janine's breasts. The odd thing was that I did not feel anything sexual at all to be in such an intimate embrace. What I did feel was comfort and peace. as though just being held made it alright. Even when I ceased crying, I couldn't utter a word. I could see what I had perceived was true that Nurse Janine had shooed Dr Drake away.

When Nurse Janine saw that I couldn't speak but was under emotional control again, She brought in a dry erase board for me to use to communicate. . That seemed to work since I could understand what she was saying to me and could write reasonably well even though I couldn't speak yet.

Together the two of us worked through things so that I ended up reasonably comfortable. I had a turn at the bed pan to take care of those needs and a snack was brought up from the hospital cafeteria to let me refresh myself. Finally it just all came back and I just started speaking again like nothing had happened to me.

"Goodness, Nurse that was weird! Thank you for taking care of me. "

"It was my pleasure, Gerrrie. If you had any doubts about you being a woman, that crying jag should convince you. You reacted to that just like I or any other woman would, I'm glad I was able to help you. I don't know why Doctor Drake was so mean to you."

"I know Doctor Drake was just being human in spite of scolding me. She has taken very good care of me. I guess you should let her know that I'm ready to answer for what I've done. The sooner that I face her, the sooner that I get on the road to recovery. Could you let her know that I would like to speak to her?"

"Of course, Gerrie. I'll see to it. You must really want to see Grace."

"Well the sooner that Doctor Drake evaluates me, the sooner that she'll let me have visitors. Thank you Nurse."

'You are welcome!" Nurse Janine left and after a while, Doctor Drake came back.

"I am so sorry for upsetting you, Gerrie. I should have known better than to scold you after all that you have been thru. Can you forgive me."

"Of course, Doctor! Thank you for pulling me thru in spite of myself. I promise not to pull anything like that again. I got done everything that I could. I guess there is nothing to it but to let it get out that I'm really a woman."

"I'm glad that there is no longer the urgency to get back there. I hope that you will stay put till I actually release you this time."

"I'll stay put this time until you feel like I'm ready to go. Since I'm approved now for rehabilitation toward my new gender expression, I hope to get as much work done toward that as I can while I am here."

"I'm glad that you are ready to be a patient again since you do need to take it easy for a while. Otherwise you'll repeat even more severely the seizure that put you right back here. Under these controlled conditions, there is a lot that you can do toward your rehabilitation. I'll approve everything that you will be physically able to do towards your rehabilitation. Does that mean that you are ready to begin your immersion in your rehabilitation 24/7?"

"Yes, I am ready to begin life as a woman 24 / 7."

"I'll get with your Endocrinologist, Dr Russell, concerning coordinating what you'll need with what you are capable of as time goes on."

"Is there anything that I can get done while I am recouping in the hospital now?"

"From what I can predict, we can get you your body sculpting excluding breast reconstruction, Skin resurfacing with hair removal, and FFS done now that you have a brain scan confirmation of your female gender. You can continue your HRT as well with a few restrictions. If you are with us long enough we might even manage to get your breast augmentation and SRS if it is signed off on with significant sessions with your therapist to permit her to sign off on those procedures. That special project that I've heard mentioned in connection with your case would have to wait until you can leave this hospital since it is an experimental procedure that can only realistically be done in their own facility."

"That sounds promising. Why do I have to have a therapist sign off on the rest of it before that can be done?"

"Even though the brain scan confirms your medical condition, just how much extra work you'll need won't be apparent until the effects of HRT can be evaluated. Therapy during that time helps with the adjustment to the new gender as well as providing time for a confirming diagnosis based on psychological indicators. We want to be careful since there is still some hysteria about this treatment. .We are doing everything to confirm that only the ones who need the treatment for this medical condition, get it."

"That makes sense, I guess. Why are some procedures available prior to therapy and HRT?"

"Those procedures while not recommended for males, do not provide sufficient gender cues to interfere with achieving a male gender expression. The other things which are withheld pending a confirmation that the patient is ready for them, involve making such striking not easily reversible changes that achieving a male gender presentation is not realistically possible."

"You've certainly given me a lot to think about. Why was it that I could not speak when I came out of it this time?"

"It was a symptom of the type of seizure that you had. I'm glad that it was only temporary which leads me to believe that no real damage was done. Things just were a bit overloaded so your body forced you to calm down before it started working again."

"That's good. I guess following Doctor's orders will help towards me not backing me into a corner like that again."

"It will indeed, Gerrie. I have to check some tests but it appears that you are out of the worst of it. Just take it easy and let your body heal."

"Yes Ma'am!"

Dr Drake left the room and passing her as she was on the way out was Wendy on the way in.

"Vital signs check again, Gerrie. Are you comfortable?"

"Yes Wendy, Thank you."

Wendy went about her work taking all of my vital signs. As I saw her read the numbers off, it didn't viably upset her so I guessed that what she was seeing was normal or at least normal for me."

"Everything looks fine, Gerrie. May I ask you a question about your condition?"

"You just did and you may ask another one to follow up." I smiled at Wendy hoping that my tiny attempt at humor might have put her at ease. Transsexualism was a subject that made some people very uptight.

"What's it like to suddenly be a woman after being a man for so many years?"

"I'm not really sure that I really know since part of what I'm observing may be due to my hospitalization instead of the gender change. For one thing, I seem to pay closer attention to colors and I'm more observant in differentiating the various shades of color."

"I'd agree that being more observant about color is part of being a woman even if you are not particularly artistic."

"I perceive a lot more when using all of my senses along with the new challenge of emotional content being part of my perceptions."

"Thank you for sharing that with me, Gerrrie. I'm off to see my other patients. Take care!"

"I will. Thank you Wendy!"

I was at last able to have visitors but instead of it being Grace, waiting for me, It was Reyna!

"Hello Gerrie. I'm glad to see that you have managed to beat the odds again. Grace has submitted officially your change in status at the office based on your brain gender scan results. I've gotten your previous expenses with your endocrinologist retroactively covered. Under Federal Law, you will be protected, but State Governments are excluded from complying with federal law. The reactionary constitutional amendment that was passed in that brief 2 years that the Republicans captured a majority in the House and Senate reserves to the states all law and judicial decisions concerning the definition of Marriage, Sex, and Gender."

"Well that would explain why she's not here. She's been busy looking out after me. It looks like I'm going to have to be in here for a while. I was hoping that things would be cleared for me to start transition so as not to waste the time staying in the hospital. I remember that they got in following the US Supreme Court striking down all State law and constitutional amendments defining marriage as between a man and a woman. They could not get a federal constitutional amendment passed to restrict marriage to a man and a woman so they made it so the states could keep their individual laws concerning it and negated the Supreme Court Decision striking them all down."

"There may be a grey area during the time between your getting out of the hospital with your federal documents declaring you to be a woman, and the time after your SRS when you can get State documents declaring you to be a woman. Businesses that cross state lines have to follow the federal documents and anti-discrimination standards. I'm not sure what the current state of state law allows our state government to act in this area. I'll find out what you can expect."

"I'll hope for the best and maybe this time our state government isn't in the dark ages still, just because it can be."

"Fortunately for you, it won't be a year and three months, like was required under the 20th century standards of care. With you changing your gender expression immediately on coming back to work, it should be something like six months. Even less if you respond to the hormones and therapy well."

"Thanks for finding out on my behalf. I'll keep my fingers crossed that our State is not as backwards on this as it it on some things."

"I understand that you are cleared subject to your physical condition to be scheduled for the first set of procedures and surgeries Rehabilitation therapy will help with things like wigs and breast forms. Occupational therapy will begin the process of teaching you things that you need to learn. It depends on how long you are in the hospital and how quickly your permits certain things on how much you'll be able to get done."

Grace came rushing into the room a little out of breath

"I'm so glad that I finally made it!"

"Reyna has been telling me all the wonderful things that you have been doing for me since I have been out of it. Thanks Grace!"

"Opps. I guess I had better get going. Nurse Janine was pretty strict about only one of us at a time being in here with you. Good bye Gerrie. I wish you well in your recovery and I hope that everything will work out okay when you return to work."

"Thank you Reyna! Things should be interesting to say the least when I return Bye Bye"

I waved and blew her a kiss as she left. Reyna may be hard when she has to be but underneath she is a creampuff. I turned back to Grace."

"So how has it been going, Grace?"

"Gerrie, My first meeting with Reyna went wonderfully, as you can see by her presence here before us. She completely accepted your change of gender. She feels like everyone else will accept it too once it is explained to them. She wants to make it easy for you to resume work. Of course everything was on a general level. I explained that when you are released, the hospital will be providing you with your new federal identification as a woman even though I wasn't sure what name would be on it, yet."

"What happened next?"

"The two of us were been called in for a meeting with James Thornton, our boss along with a conference call with some of the top officials of the state department of Transportation.

"How did your meeting with the upper echelons go? In other words' how did the Good Ol' Boys club take to my defection?"

"It seems that the state is still in the dark ages and I'm afraid that until you can get a state identification certifying you as female, you'll be required to use the Men's restroom at work."

"But all of the restrooms are single use restrooms in the building!"

"I know. Logic does not seem to make any difference in government circles. It seems that Mr. Thornton will be requiring Reyna to enforce the letter of the policy in regards to you. Official correspondence and documents even though they will have your new name will refer to you in male terms until you get state identification that is able to reflect the gender change."

"That doesn't sound too good. It's going to be bad enough for me to cope with this being new but to have to use the men's room after I have finally crossed the line where the women's room is appropriate doesn't make sense to me."

"Don't worry too much about it, though. After we were we away from the meeting, Reyna had a mischievous look in her eyes and told me, 'I'm a much better lawyer than Mr. Thornton. We'll see about this little power play of his and in the process make things the best that we can within the letter of the law.'

"That's just about what I would expect from them. I wonder what else they might have planned for me."

"You don't want to know yet! Just rest up and get well, Gerrie. Guess I should leave before someone asks me to go. Take Care, Gerrie!"

"Bye Grace! come back soon! Thank you, Grace and good luck with Reyna!" Grace blew me an air kiss and I blew her one back. Grace was about to leave but the Doctor coming in motioned for her to stay.

"Hello, Grace. Could you stay a moment?"

"Sure Dr Erika."

"I hope that you are not going to rush Gloria out of the hospital this time. "

"Fortunately she completed what was unfinished before she was stricken. We both are prepared for her to spend all the time she needs recouping. With her insurance's approval for treatment now confirmed, she can also get in what ever rehabilitation that she is physically able to obtain as well."

"I'm very glad about that. Grace you can go on now if you need to go or you can stay while Gerrie and I get reacquainted if you like."

"I have an appointment to see Reyna Langston, both Gerrie and my supervisor at work, on Gerrie's behalf."

"Please take one of my cards and refer her to me if she has any general questions concerning the situation. I can help explain the general situation without going into Gerrie's details and also to clarify considerations for a smooth transition at work. I can help with any questions that you might have as well, Grace,"

Grace took some cards from Erika and she left one for me as well.

"Thank you, Erika. Grace will make the disclosure and find out about the state government policy that will govern actions. Good Luck, Gerrie! I'm off!"

I looked longingly after Grace as she left then turned my attention back to Dr Erika."

"Tell me where you feel you are in your journey, Gerrie."

"I know I am a woman in my mind right now. It will take getting used to my expressing by my actions and attire that I am a woman. I understand some help will be provided by the hospital and I'm sure that Grace will help. Hopefully more of my friends at work will help once they know what is going on with me."

"Would it be devastating to you if someone from your work did not accept the new you?"

"I'd be upset but I would not be devastated. I know that some people are afraid of someone who is different. As long as Grace stays with me, I will be able to get thru it. Eventually I expect to be so secure in my thoughts that I would be okay even if everyone turned against me."

"Have you thought beyond just your nickname on how you would like to be referred to when you present yourself as a woman?".

"I guess I just thought I would be Geraldine Mercer. Perhaps I could take my mother's name, Andrea, as my middle name. I had the middle name Andrew, before."

"Sometimes it's best to not preserve your nickname from your male name in your female name. Getting those who knew you before to change to a different and distinctly feminine name can help in getting the pronouns correct. It can be quite a change for them so any help can be greatly appreciated."

"I had not thought about that. Perhaps Gloria Ann Mercer would be best. I like that for my name."

"I'll make a note to change your chart designation to refer to you accordingly, Gloria."

We talked a little more and then Dr Erika left the room. I felt tired so I must have dosed off. The next thing I know, Grace is back and she wants to know what Dr Erika and I talked about.

"We talked about a number of things Grace, but the most important thing was about what I was going to be called for the rest of my life. We started out by agreeing on what I did not want to be called.", I told Grace

Grace asked,"What is it that you don't want to be called, Hun?"

"Erika and I talked it over. I decided not to be Geraldine since that was too close to my male name to help those around me get used to the new me. I hope that even you will stop calling me Gerrie until things get settled and everyone is used to the new me as they let themselves be."

'Of course, I'll call you what you wish to be called. What did you decide your new name is going to be?"

"Gloria Ann Mercer. I guess if you want to still use a nickname for me, I could be Glory. This way I still have the same initials and my middle name is in honor of my mother, Andrea Bradford Mercer."

"Glory, that's wonderful. What about the hospital staff?"

"Erika made the change to my charts and everyone is calling me Gloria now."

" I have a feeling that Reyna will make it comfortable enough for you to continue working in the department when you are able."

"Thank goodness, Reyna is on our side. Thank you so much for everything you are doing on my behalf, Grace. I guess this condition makes me a kind of catalyst and people reveal just what kind of person they are for real."

"You are welcome, Glory." Enjoying every bite of it, I ate my supper. Grace finished hers about the same time as I did. I yawned and was generally showing signs of fatigue. "

"You seem to be fading fast, Glory. Guess I'll go and let you get some beauty sleep. Take care Sweetie!"

"I do seem to be ready to get some sleep, Grace. Thanks for a wonderful day." I blew her an air kiss and she blew one back to me.

"Good night, Glory!" She left the room and turned out the lights so I turned over and went to sleep.