“You okay Drew?” Mum asked when I arrived in the kitchen
“Bad dream” I told her
“Well get your breakfast, Phil Eaton will be here about ten” she informed me
“The ‘Cycling’ guy?”
“You met him Monday” she stated
“Er perhaps I ought to play dumb Mum? I was wearing a bra when he saw us”
“Hmm, you’re probably right. Are you going to come with us?”
“Where?” I mumbled round my Weetabix.
“Phil wants to go on a ride with me, you’ve seen the sort of thing they do” she advised
“I was going to see the guys later”
“You could go afterwards, we’ll only be out about three hours including the café”
“Where are we going?”
“I thought up to Bawtry then down to Beckingham Café, then come home the usual way via Dunham Bridge.”

 
Phil Eaton was a few minutes late arriving, apparently the signs up here are in a different language to those around Slough – he missed the Warsop sign in Mansfield.

“Come on in Phil” Mum welcomed the hack in
“Thanks”
“Phil, this pair are my eldest, Juliette and my son Drew” Mum made the introductions
“No Gaby today?” He asked
Quick as a flash Mum answered “no she was at a sleepover last night. Jules can you make some tea please?”

After twenty minutes of small talk Phil gave us his suggested itinerary.

“If we do the ride first, then get a few picture and do the interview proper this afternoon?”
“Sounds okay, do you mind if Drew tags along for the ride?” Mum asked
“No that’s fine”
 
Mum and I got togged up while Phil got his bike ready, he’d arrived en cycliste, and we left the house a bit before eleven. With Mum and Phil in front, I happily sat in their slipstream as we headed up to Worksop. Phil was a bit loaded up with a bar bag that contained his cameras, and after a few miles Mum adjusted her pace to one that was comfortable for everyone.
 
Although a lot of today’s route is on main roads, they are generally pretty quiet. We made good time up to Blyth where instead of taking the direct road to Bawtry we turned right towards Retford.

“I usually come this way” Mum told us, “it saves trying to get across the A1”
“And more pleasant” Phil commented
“Come and have a ride with Phil, Drew” Mum suggested
 
I swapped places with Mum and rode along chatting to him for the next couple of miles along to Bawtry. We turned onto the Gainsborough road and a short way further along, after Everton Café, took the Clayworth turn. Phil called for a photo stop as we entered the village, so me and Mum rode back a short distance so he could get his pictures. It didn’t take long and we were soon climbing the biggest hill of the day. At the top Phil called a time out and this time Mum dropped part way down on her own for Phil’s picture taking.

“What’s it like Drew, having a famous Mum?”
“It’s great most of the time but sometimes it’s embarrassing, like on Monday we went to a restaurant and the waiters wanted Mum’s autograph”
“I don’t suppose any of your mates get that?”
“No, they’re pretty cool about it. Here she comes” I advised him

I watched as Mum rode up and past us, Phil happily snapping away.
 
Fifteen minutes later we were in the Café, it being a weekday most of the clientele were lorry drivers, only two other bikes were parked outside. I grabbed a table while Mum and Phil ordered our supplies. I looked around at this Sunday Mecca for local roadies. The plain white décor was relieved by framed prints of trucks, Mercedes, Scania, some American thing, all chrome and stuff. Interspersed with that element a number of pictures of cyclists, I recognised a couple David Baker, Mums friend Caroline the mountain biker and hey, Kewl there’s one of Mum!

“Mum, they’ve got your picture up” I enthused
“Where?” she asked
“Next to that red truck” I pointed out

Phil seemed impressed by this and disappeared up to the counter again. The end result was that Mum ended up signing the picture and Phil had some excellent pictures. By the time we got back to our seats, double egg and beans on toast were awaiting my consumption! We chatted while we ate, Phil taking a few notes when Mum told us some anecdote or other. It was getting towards one o’clock when we left the café and headed towards the Trent.
 
Mum and Phil kept up an almost non-stop conversation as we made our way down the side of the Trent. I mused about the last time I’d done a similar ride with Mum, a lot has happened since then! We turned onto the A57 and the bumpier terrain the other side of the Trent hove into view soon after the toll bridge. Last time Mum had ridden me hard from here but today we kept the same comfortable pace. I did another couple of turns with Phil and a stretch with Mum too. At Tuxford, Phil took a few more pictures, and then we were headed towards Ollerton and home. It was good bit after two when we got back to Bond Acres.
 
“Do you want to stay for dinner Phil?”
“I’d best not, I need to get home to baby-sit”

I know it was a quite reasonable invitation but I was glad that we would have Mum to ourselves tonight!

“At least stay until my other half Dave gets home, he should be back about four thirty”
“Okay”
“Drew use the upstairs shower, Phil can use the one down here” Mum advised

Mum caught me as I exited the bathroom.

“Are you going out now?”
“I was going to go to Mad’s, why”

Mum was fidgeting

“You know I don’t really approve of this dressing up thing?” she started
“Uh huh”
“I don’t know how to put this”
“Put what?”
“Well I wouldn’t be upset if Gaby and ‘her’ friends turned up a bit later”
“What! No way!”
“I won’t force you but I’ve got a spare pair of Campag wheels looking for a home, I was thinking Gaby could do with them”

This was manipulation of the highest order!

“If, and it’s only if, I do this, why?”
“Come in here” she pulled me into my parents room, “lets just say I fancy tweaking a few noses”
“What have I got to do with it?”
“You’ve never intentionally pretended to be a girl at a race have you?”
“Well if you discount Tuesday and the Christmas twenty five, no” I replied
“That’s what I thought, but still everyone on Tuesday night thought you were my daughter and some of them I know have seen you racing elsewhere and know you are a boy. I thought we could have a little bit of fun, after all Phil has seen you both and still thinks I’ve got two daughters and a son.”
“Campag wheels?”
“Zonda” she mentioned

There is just no way that I could turn that down!

“Okay it’s a deal” I agreed
“Give me a call before you come back and say bye to Phil before you leave”
 
I returned to my room and rang Mad.

“Oh hi Drew, you still coming over?”
“Yeah but I need to ask a favour”
“Go on”

So I told her what Mum had suggested.

“So she wants you to be Gaby to wind this guy up?”
“Well not just him, but yes”
“You’d best bring all your ‘stuff’, we’ll have to do it properly and we won’t have long, Ally and B will help. See you in a bit, bye”
“See ya”

I shut my phone off and dived into the back of my wardrobe to find the bag of prosthetics and underwear. I picked the box that my assorted ear ornaments reside in and shoved everything into my backpack.

I found Mum and Phil in the garage.

“I’m off now” I mentioned
“Bye Drew, see you again I hope” Phil advised

Sooner than you think!

“Yeah bye Phil”
“Don’t be too late” Mum instructed
“When are the girls home?” I asked

Taking the hint Mum answered my question

“Gaby should be here about five, Jules will be a bit later”
“I might catch a word with Gaby then” Phil opined
“Well bye then” I called as I exited stage left.

 
“Your Mum suggested this?” Maddy bit her lip as she placed the pre glued breast in place.
“I told you on the phone”
“You have one weird family Drew” Bernie stated
“There you go, get your other stuff on and we’ll be ready to do your hair and stuff”

I dived into the spare room and with some effort got the gaff in place and pulled on a pair of panties. I’d brought the bra I acquired yesterday and discovered the effects an uplift bra has on ‘real’ breasts. Whoa!

“Come on Drew, sit here” Ally motioned to the dressing table chair.
“Bernie you do his nails, Ally you sort his hair out and I’ll start on makeup” Mad ordered.

I sat there, for all intents and purposes, a girl in bra and pants while my friends painted and primped me into Gaby.
 
Twenty minutes later the four of us left the Peters mansion for the walk over to the Bond residence. Ally had put my hair into a high ponytail and Maddy had managed a restrained makeup job. Maddy thought it best if I wore a dress, however I was less than chuffed at the one I was wearing – bright yellow and short, just screaming out ‘look at me!’

“Well you wore it before” Mad said
“Only round your house” I countered
“Well no one is ever going to mistake you for a boy wearing that” Ally advised
“Great! Oh damn, I’m supposed to ring Mum”

I retrieved my phone from the dainty handbag Mad had insisted I use.

“Mum? Oh hi Jules, can I speak to Mum…hi Mum, we’ll be about ten minutes… okay bye”

My nervousness was not helped when a car full of lads pulled alongside and started making comments. Fortunately our route took us through a gennel at that point and we escaped their comments.
 
Dad was home when we arrived and was talking to Phil in the Garage.

“Hi girls” Dad called out, recognition dawned on his face, “Gaby your Mums inside with Jules” he recovered well!

We trooped inside the house to find Mum and my sister.

“There you are Gaby” Mum said, “thanks girls”
“No problem Mrs B” Mad replied

Just then Dad and Phil came in through the kitchen.

“Phil, you’ve met Gaby, these are her friends Allison, Bernadette and Madeline, girls this is Phil, he’s been out with Drew and me today” Mum made the introductions.
“Hi girls, nice to meet you all”
“Where is that boyfriend of mine?” Maddy asked playing up to the situation.
“I think he was going to meet Rhod and the guys” Mum replied
“I wonder Gaby, if I could have a quick chat? I’ve spoken to everyone else, I’d like to get your views.”
“I guess so” I replied. This was after all part of the deal.
“Take Phil into the garden Gaby” Dad suggested
“Okay”
 
I led Phil out back and we sat on the bench by the barbecue.

“You have a good time Monday?” Phil asked
“Yes thanks, it was my first go on a track”
“From what I saw you were doing pretty good, following in your Mums wheeltracks eh!”
“I don’t think I’ll be that good”
“You’ve got plenty of time, you’re what, fourteen?”
“Thirteen”
 
It was a bit deja vue – as myself I had already given Phil answers to these same questions earlier. The only difference was that this time he thought I was my sister and I was wearing a dress. We talked for about fifteen minutes before he announced that he needed to get off. We returned to the house where Jules was showing the girls her new shoes.

“Well thanks Jenny, Dave and you kids, thank Drew for me to. I really enjoyed today”
“No problem Phil, we’ll have to do it again when I’m really famous” Mum joked
“When will the article be printed?” Dad asked, “we’ll have to order extra copies!”
“It should be next week as long as there’s space” Phil advised us

He gathered his stuff up and started to leave

“Bye girls, nice meeting you all”
“Bye Phil” a chorus of girl’s voices rang out which, being thirteen ended up being really funny
“Girls” Mum intoned

Mum and Dad went outside to see Phil off leaving ‘us’ girls inside.
 
“Okay Drew” Jules started
“Gaby!” Mad insisted
“Okay ‘Gaby’, what’s going on?”
“Mum’ll explain, we’re gonna hang in my room”

With that I led the others up to Drew central which for a change was pretty tidy.
 

Some time later

“Are you girls eating with us? We are going to the Berni” Mum asked from the door to my room
“If it’s no trouble Mrs B” Ally replied
“Maddy, Bernie?”
“Yes please”

Seemed like we were having company for dinner after all.

“And Gaby, put something else on, your Dad’s eyes were out on stalks earlier”

Damn, damn, damn! I’ve done it again, forgotten what I’m wearing.

“But, but”
“No buts young lady, hang on” she dived out and returned with what I recognised as one of my sisters dresses that I’d ‘borrowed’ before. “Here, wear this, and change that bra!”
“Muuum” I moaned

Her look brooked no further argument.

“I am not being shown up when we’re out! Half an hour girls” Mum informed us before leaving.
“Why can’t I wear jeans?” I asked no one in particular.
“Oh come on Drew, at least you get your wheels” Bernie placated
“I guess, can you give me a hand?”

 
With seven of us, Dad elected to take the camper. We had a good time at the restaurant, and it was late when we got home. With everyone, including my parents, calling me Gaby, I stopped worrying about my appearance; at least this nonsense would be over tonight.

I went upstairs to bed with my parents cuddling on the sofa, yeugh! Well I guess it was kind of sweet really. When I got to my room I realised that I’d mucked up again, yep you got it; I left the remover bottle at Maddy’s again!

“Knock, knock”
“What?” Jules asked from inside
“It’s me, er could I borrow something to sleep in sis”
“You’ve done it again haven’t you” she said opening the door
“I left it at the Peters” I told her
“Here, I think you ought to keep it, you wear it more than I do anyway” she proffered the babydoll I’ve borrowed before.
“Thanks”
“Don’t forget we have to leave early in the morning”
“What for?”
“Mum. Airport. Remember?”

I groaned, Gaby would be around a bit longer.

Maddy Bell 30.11.03