The drive across to Gran’s was a bit slower than usual, being the summer hol’s there was a fair bit of grockle* traffic meandering about the Peak District. We eventually arrived at Gran’s house at nearly eleven, full twenty minutes later than expected.

“Hello kids” Gran greeted us
“Hi Gran” Jules and I echoed
“Jen”
“Mum”

Gran and Mum had a longer than usual hug before we all made our way into the house,

“You’re looking very nice today Juliette” Gran mentioned

Well I have to say, for a sister she was looking pretty hot. Of course shopping in Leeds had extracted more than a couple of piercings from Mum’s purse! Well a complete new outfit, which she was wearing today. I was a little bit envious, I’m not sure what of though, the expenditure or the clothes themselves. Whoa! It most definitely is not the clothes. Well maybe just a little.

“Mum got it in Leeds yesterday” Jules modelled for Gran, “and look” she showed off her newly pierced ears.
“Very nice Juliette, you’ve caught up with Drew” Gran joked
“Urm, sort of” Jules agreed
“Everyone for tea?” Mum called from the kitchen
“It’s already brewing, Jen. I put it on when I heard your car,” Gran advised
“Yes please” I advised
“Can I have squash please?” Jules asked
“Sit down you two. Tell me what you’ve been up to” Gran directed

So we each gave the edited highlights of the last few weeks, in my case very edited but not much gets past our Gran.

“Did you have a good time in Paris?”

By now Mum was sitting listening too, she had missed a couple of months of our lives and was doing some catching up.

“It was brill Gran” Jules started, “the atmosphere and people was fantastic”
“Yeah it was really cool actually being there” I went on

Then Gran surprised everyone

“How would you know Drew, your Dad told me he took your cousin Gaby as you’d been misbehaving”
“I ah, ah” I spluttered

Jools started to laugh and I noted so did mum

“Drew, I was watching on the telly, I saw your sister and Mum on the podium, the other person there was most definitely not you but a pretty girl”

At this point Mum and Jules were breaking into hysterics at the look on my face.

“But, but Gran…”
“No buts Drew, how can we trust you if you fib so blatantly to your Gran?”
“I ah” was starting to tear up
“Come on Drew, stop that snivelling,” Mum ordered, “ your Gran’s just having a bit of fun”
“‘Snot very funny” I mumbled
“Oh come here Drew” Gran suggested, “your Dad told me the whole story when you got back. I must say from what I saw on the telly you make a very pretty young lady”
 
“You fancy going to Chester for the afternoon Mum?” Mum asked Gran changing the subject deftly.
“Ooh that would be nice, Jen”
“Kids?” Mum asked
“Okay” I replied
“Kewl!” Jules mentioned, “two days shopping!”

We finished up our tea and we were soon driving across to Chester best part of an hour away.

For the few of you who haven’t been, Chester is pretty cool. Half-timbered shops, a fairly intact city wall and various bits of Roman masonry make this the north-west’s
Best attempt to duplicate Lincoln or York. Mum got us parked in the multi-storey on the ring road and we walked into the bustling centre. Whilst the place itself is fairly neat, walking around with three generations of women was not.

“Mum? Can I meet you later, I’m not really into this shopping lark”
“Okay I guess, meet us at the cross at four o’clock, you know where I mean?”
“Just up from the car park?” I replied, “and I’ve got my phone”
“That’s it, now take care and we’ll see you later”

Gran came over to me before we went our separate ways.

“Here, get yourself something with this” she pushed something into my hand
“Thanks Gran”
“See you later Drew”

They had all disappeared into a shop before I checked out what Gran had pressed into my hand, wow twenty quid!

I’d been wandering around for a few minutes when a card shop triggered a vague memory. What was it now? Someone’s Birthday, not Jules that’s still three weeks away, not Rhod his birthday is in October, Mad - that’s it! Flip, it’s on Monday!

I had forgotten all about it, Mad is the youngest in our year although you’d never know it and on Monday she becomes a terrible teenager like the rest of us! A plan formulated in my head, I’d spend the afternoon in search of a suitable present! That decided all I needed to come up with was what, I bought an ice cream and found a bench whilst I contemplated the subject. After some thought I came to what I thought was a great idea, get her some nice undies!

I set off on my quest, window shopping as I walked through the famous arcades and noting prices so that I had got it down to a couple of options by the time I emerged once again onto the street. Window-shopping was one thing, buying anything was going to be more of a challenge. As regular readers of these pages will know, I’ve done a fair bit of shopping for girls stuff, even for myself, but I’ve always, except the shoe shops, had a posse of girls with me. Today I was on my own.

I returned to ‘Blossom’s’, where I had seen a nice, and affordable, cami set. Nerves overcame any sense of purpose, so much so that I couldn’t bring myself to approach the door to this emporium of female under garments.

“Miss?”

I stood still as the other shoppers navigated around me

“Miss? Are you okay?” the voice was coming from nearby

I glanced about to see who was being addressed

“You look a bit pale, young lady, come on inside and sit down for a minute” the speaker, it now clicked, was talking to me!
“Er I’m okay, really”
“Well it won’t hurt to sit a minute will it” the still concerned shop assistant mentioned
“I guess not” I let myself be guided into ‘Blossom’s’ and directed to a seat. It struck me then that once again someone thought I was a girl, why? I mean, today I’ve got on cargo shorts and a baggy ‘Avril Levigne’ t-shirt, hardly girly is it?
“There you go?” the woman passed a glass of water to me and her tone suggested a question but what?
“Thanks er”
“Mary and you are?”

To save lengthy explanations I decided to go with

“Gaby, Gaby Bond”
“Feeling better now Gaby?” Mary asked
“Yes thanks”
“Used to happen to my Gail, panic attacks, she was prone to fainting too” Mary rattled on.
“Sorry?”
“Don’t worry luv, I saw you looking in the window then you sort of froze, just like my Gail, happened every month till she was sixteen” she went on.

I hadn’t got a clue what she was on about.

“Seeing as you’re here now, is there anything I can help with?” Mary it seemed could spot a punter a mile off.

It occurred to me then that I was indeed inside the lingerie store, in fact that was where I wanted to be, to buy Mad’s present.

“I, er, I’d like to look at the peachy colour set in the window, it’s for my girlfriend’s birthday” I told Mary

She gave me a slightly odd look, probably at my choice of words, then went to a display and called me over.

“This the one?” she asked indicating a hanger

I nodded. It was a lace and satin confection of a fitted camisole, full cut knickers and what I presumed was a bra, I couldn’t tell for sure as it was mostly hidden by the camisole.

“What size is she, your friend?”

Damn! I had no idea, and then it struck me

“The same as me, I often borrow stuff off her” well it’s hardly a lie is it?
“And you are?”

I racked my brains to think of my chest and waist sizes and came up wanting!

“I’m not sure, Mum usually buys my stuff, it usually fits okay”

Mary was not one to be put off by such a lack of information

“Well pop your top off and I’ll measure you”

I started to panic

“I er, haven’t got a you no what on” I mumbled
“Girls!” Mary rolled her eyes, “here, put this on, I think it’s about your size, it’ll do for now any way”

There was no escape; I went into the changing cubicle clutching the lacy bra. There was just no way that Mary wouldn’t realise I was a boy when I emerged was there? I pulled my T over my head and after a minute working out how the bra went, it was a front fastening affair, I was ready to meet Mary’s wrath. I suppose I could have just made a hasty departure but fight or flight seemed to be disengaged.
 
“There you are Gaby, what a nice figure”

Huh!

“Let’s get you measured”

Mary expertly ran the tape around me keeping up a commentary.

“Hips 32, waist 24, chest 32 and lets see, yes, you’re an A cup!” she told me

I risked a look down at myself; the bra I was wearing did indeed give the impression of a cleavage, small, but certainly there.

“Is your friend”
“Maddy” I offered
“Is Maddy the same size on top as you?” Mary asked

I thought for a moment, trying to envisage Mad’s chest.

“I guess she’s a bit bigger, I need a bit of help to fill her bra’s” I surprised myself by that insight.
“I think a 32B should be okay then” Mary informed me
“Okay, I’ll take that then”
“There’s a two for one offer on Gossard this week, why don’t you get one for yourself too, it would be a shame to miss out.”

By this time I was getting a bit fidgety.

“Okay”
“You go put your t shirt back on and I’ll wrap these up” Mary ordered.

I pulled my shirt back on and found Mary at the counter.

“There you are, that’s twenty four ninety five”

I pulled my wallet out and counted the notes onto the counter.

“Ten, twenty and five”
“There you go, five change”

I spotted one of those charity coin drop things on the counter and popped the coin in the slot, watching as it descended to join the pile at the bottom.

“Thanks Mary”
“My pleasure Gaby, and remember, deep breaths” she intoned as I rejoined the shoppers outside.

‘Cute kid’ Mary mused, ‘he was in such a state, if he’s not done that before I’ll be surprised. Mind you I could have sworn he was a girl when I saw him outside, that hair and shaved legs, he looks really cute. Even when he was out of the t-shirt he looked like a young girl. I’m sure he was buying for himself, I’m certain he’ll appreciate the stockings, and the bra he’s wearing. Two for one!’ she shook her head and went in back to make some tea.

 
‘Phew! I’m glad that’s over. But at least I got Mad’s present, I’ll give her both sets, funny though I didn’t see any signs for that offer’. I shook my head. I had budgeted forty pounds so I still had fifteen to spend on her so I returned to the main street where I’d spotted a teen store earlier.
 

“Is that Drew?” Jules asked
“Where?” Gran queried
“Over there with that pink ‘Blossom’ bag” Jules replied
“It looks a bit like him I suppose” Mum mentioned as they watched the figure go into ‘Teen Queen’.
 

‘Teen Queen’, what a name! I felt more confident going in here, I’ve been in several of these places with the gang, so I knew the general layout and I headed to where my prey was situated. Aha! There it is, I homed in on the dress I saw earlier in the window. Mad will really like this, it’s sort of black net over a peachy colour so it shows through, she can wear the dress and underwear together! Armed with my new sizing information courtesy of Mary at ‘Blossom’s’ I went through the rail until I found the right size. Then I’m not sure what came over me. I can’t actually believe I did it. I, no I can’t tell you. Well I put it against me to check it out in the mirror!

Aargh! Well I guess it looked okay even against me. I look forward to seeing Mad wearing it anyway. I took it to the desk and the assistant didn’t give me more than a glance as I parted with the money.
 
The church clock announced four just as I arrived at the cross. I spotted the others outside of a teashop and crossed to join them.

“Hi Drew”
“Hi Mum, we going in?” I motioned toward the tea-room.
“Just for a quick cuppa, your Gran’s got tea ready back at the house” Mum advised

We went inside and were soon seated; I managed to wangle a cream scone with mine.

“What’ve you been buying then?” Gran asked eyeing my bag.
“It’s my friend Maddy’s birthday on Monday, I got her birthday present”
“What did you get Drew?” Jules asked
“A dress and stuff” I told them
“I’m impressed young man” Mum mentioned, “can we see?”
“Some of it’s already wrapped,” I reached into my anonymous carrier, “here’s the dress” I presented Mum with the gauzy garment.

They all three oohed and aahed at my choice.

“Can I hire you as a boyfriend?” Jules joked
“It’s very nice Drew, I’m sure if everything is as nice Maddy will be well surprised on Monday” Mum suggested

I blushed to my roots.
 
We finished our tea and I walked back to the car with Gran while Mum and Jules popped into a bakery to get some cake for tea.

“You’re turning into a fine young man” Gran advised, “but why are you wearing a bra?”

I told you nothing much gets past her! In truth I’d forgotten I had the thing on! I’ve been walking around Chester half the afternoon with a ‘Blossom’s’ bag and a bra on, no wonder no one said anything in ‘Teen Queens’!

“What do you mean?” I flustered a reply
“Come on Drew, I’ve been wearing one for a lot of years and I know how it looks under a t shirt, and anyway I could see a strap in the tea room.” She told me.

I’m dead, I’m dead! If Gran knows, Mum and Jules will too! Seeing my panic Gran steered me into an alley.

“I’ll teach you a trick, stand there” I don’t know how but she managed to get the bra off me without taking my shirt off.
“Ta da! Now put it in your bag, I’m sure your Mum and Jules didn’t notice. It was you we saw earlier going in ‘Teen Queens’ wasn’t it?”
“That’s where I got Mad’s dress,” I admitted
“Well come on, they’ll be at the car before us if we’re not quick.”

The drive back to Gran’s was uneventful and just after six we sat down to the salad; Gran had waiting for us. Jules and I watched some telly while Mum and Gran talked in the kitchen then a bit before eight Mum announced it was time to go home.

“Bye Gran”
“Bye Drew” Gran kissed my cheek
“G’night Gran” Jules followed receiving a similar offering from Gran
“Behave for your Dad young lady”
“Yes Gran”

We both got in the car while Mum and Gran said their farewells

“Now take care Jen, and call when you get there”
“Yes Mum”
 
Our drive home across the Peak District was a bit quicker than this morning, all the holidaymakers were either in a pub or locked inside their holiday cottages, they certainly weren’t driving around. We got home about ten after stopping at Sainsbury’s in Chesterfield for a bit of shopping. Dad pulled the camper onto the drive minutes later; he’d been to some historical club or something in Creswell.

I was lying in bed a short while later going over my day when it occurred to me that tomorrow was Mum’s last proper day at home until the autumn. I dropped off dreaming of wearing a bra over my t- shirt, strange!
 
* Grockle – tourist, sightseer  
Maddy Bell 29.11.03