The Final Rescue

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This is one of those stories that just comes to mind one day when thinking about... Well, nothing really. I was driving in AZ, at the time, near Kingman, and I was bored. I began to wonder about Lassie, and Timmy's penchant for getting into trouble, and how long a dog's patience would last. This very short story is the result.

The Final Rescue

It had been a busy day for Timmy and Lassie. They had been out, running and playing around the farm. Lassie had been keeping a sharp eye on the boy, and had already stopped him from throwing rocks at both a hornet’s nest, and a skunk.

He had wanted to cross Old Man Whither’s bull pasture, but again the faithful collie had stopped him. Now, however, she had failed in her protection.

It really wasn’t her fault, however. A dog has to rest sometimes, and Timmy was always getting into trouble. ALWAYS!!!

Lassie had allowed her attention to wander for just ten seconds, and the stupid child had found a well! ANOTHER WELL! This was number six hundred ninety seven that the brat had fallen into, and she was getting tired of it.

She looked around for something to drop into the well to allow him to climb out. Nothing. Well… to be fair, there was a handy rope ladder rolled up on the ground a few feet away, but the kid was such an idiot, Lassie really doubted he could figure out how to climb it.

She got down on her belly and crawled to the edge of the hole and looked in. Timmy was there, alright. She backed away, shaking her head. Stupid kid! He never learned. She looked around once again, and then walked over to the pile of dirt laying beside the hole. This would be best, she thought to herself as she industriously started filling in the hole. Her life would be so much easier now…

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LOL!

D. Eden's picture

Hilarious!

D. Eden

Dum Vivimus, Vivamus

Thank you!

Rose's picture

Thank you!

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Hugs!
Rosemary

About Time!

joannebarbarella's picture

How many episodes of that kid getting into trouble did she have to put up with?

No doubt! Don't get me wrong

Rose's picture

No doubt! Don't get me wrong. I loved the show, but so predictable. Lassy and Timmy out playing. Timmy falls in a well, or occasionally some other form of life threatening trouble. Lassie runs home and barks at the parents. They follow her and fish Timmy out of this weeks well (or other form of life threatening trouble.) Everyone lives happily ever after; until next weeks well, or other form of life threatening trouble.

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Rosemary

Well... That was deep!

laika's picture

Yep, LOL! If it ain't the wells it's: "Thar's trouble down at th' old mill!"

Saw a two-panel cartoon years ago that had Timmy
calling up from the well he was stuck in:
"Lassie! Get help!!!"
The next panel showed Lassie lying on a psychoanalyst's couch
apparently talking while some stereotypical bearded shrink
listened intently + jotted notes down on a little notepad.

She was probably telling him about her Timmy issues...
~hugs, Veronica

.
What borders on stupidity?
Canada and Mexico.
.

Lassie

One problem solved. Now to get those stupid humans to realize she is a he.

But it wouldn't work...

So, dirt starts to rain down on Timmy, and he starts to shuffle around at the bottom of the (dry) well to get out of the way. Soon, Timmy is standing on a foot of dirt. Then he's standing on top of two feet of dirt, then tree feet of dirt. Eventually, the dirt in the well is so deep that Timmy can climb out and thank Lassie for 'rescuing him'. Little does Timmy know that 'rescue' wasn't part of the plan.

The poor mutt will need a better plan if she is to be free of Timmy forever.

B is for boulder

laika's picture

Plan B would involve a boulder, small enough for a collie to push to the edge of the well but big enough to-

But of course Lassie would never do any of this. She LOVES Timmy, and doesn't blame him for not being the brightest star in the cluster. If anything it makes her even more protective of him, bringing out all her maternal instincts. And as far as her being physically a boy dog... well she loves that Timmy and all her other humans validate her as the female she knows herself to be, and positively swoons at being told: "You're a good girl!"
Don't we all?

.
What borders on stupidity?
Canada and Mexico.
.

I have two dogs

Rose's picture

I have two dogs who are always by my side as I have seizures, and I'm very grateful to them for that.
My seizures are not the grand mall type, but my memory likes to play hide and seek with me. Their vigil started when I decided to see a doctor and find out why. It was a meningioma that was squeezing the front part of the left hemisphere of my brain. Apparently, for lack of a better term, causing short circuits.
For fifteen minutes, I couldn't remember my wife's name, my kid's names, or my dog's names, as they showered me with kisses and showed me their beagle eyes (they're not beagles).
Service dogs are a wonderful thing, and although I wrote this as a one shot, almost Monty Python type of comedy, I wouldn't trade my girls for anything.
:-)

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Rosemary

Cynical Lassie

laika's picture

Of course Lassie's attempt to murder her boy is shockingly un-doglike,
and would be pretty callous even for a human.
And that's what makes it funny!

.
What borders on stupidity?
Canada and Mexico.
.

Of course it wouldn't, but

Rose's picture

Of course it wouldn't, but she deserves an A for effort. :-)
But, another thing to wonder, if Timmy couldn't figure out a rope ladder, and looking at his past track record, would he move around, or simply stand there screaming as she buried him?

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Hugs!
Rosemary