Was she dreaming or was she really trapped within a labyrinth.
No, she couldn’t believe either.
At any moment, either the rusted heavy door would clank and rattle, allowing her to leave or she would rustle and scream, causing herself to wake up.
She was both: a prisoner bleeding in her mind and body.
Her desire to escape waned and warped as the pain overwhelmed her.
It was best to stay confined.
To stay safe from further harm.
Life was ripped form her body—it was a small part, but the imprint was there.
A soul torn to shreds.
No, two were in pain.

Her parents said it was would be fine in time.
Her boyfriend was banned from her heart and mind.

The anger failed to go away.
The healers gave her what they thought would be the cure.

Healers…more like thieves…bodysnatchers.
Baby snatchers.

The girl stared in bed for what felt like forever.
And she felt that it should be forever.
So that maybe she could meet her younger self.
The one who was never held tightly.
The one who didn’t fears the tears.
The one who never heard her say goodbye.

perfer et obdura; dolor hic tibi proderit olim
 

“Another first for Kim Vestron. And now I get to look and feel like Hell at school.”
We stood in front of the mirror in my room. Kim’s face didn’t look like a punching bag and I knew that she probably laid in a few good hits herself, but…I kind of wished I knew how to fire one of my dad’s guns.
“I am so going to kill him one day,” Kim muttered and then laughed.
It was a good thing they were always locked.

I had snuck Kim into house to avoid any confrontations with my parents. I wanted to tell them something as I distracted them as Kim went upstairs, but they took that time to lament onto me about my lack of coming home after school and how—if I kept it up—I would eventually change into some form of teenage reprobate.
I came back to my room to see Kim asleep so I got myself ready and went to sleep went to sleep myself.
I never got to call Alex that night.

“I’m going to have to conceal this, somehow. Dammit, why my face? I mean I know it’s a huge target, but, come on.”
“He shouldn’t have done anything,”
“Yeah, I know.”

We got ready for school and went downstairs to the kitchen.
Kim grabbed a box of corn flakes on the counter and graciously filled a bowl.
“We’ll get through this.”
“Okay.”
“I mean, I thought about what he said, a bout the sex thing.”
“Right,” I replied as I retrieved a gallon of milk out of the refrigerator and sat it on the table.
“I mean, this was wrong of him. But I also said a few things to him that were wrong too. You bring things into a relationship form your past. Either good or bad, right?”
“I suppose so,” I sighed as I didn’t like where the conversation was going.
“So, you have to pick and chose what’s going to destroy that couple zone you get into. For me, it’s my mouth. For him. It’s his lack of thinking things though. And so, we’re playing mind games and boxing each other.” Kim poured milk on her cereal and picked up the bowl as flakes spilled onto the floor.
“Saying something is a bit different than physically beating someone. I mean, did you leave any marks on him?”
“Nowhere anyone can see,” Kim said as she ate a spoonful of cereal.
“Okay,” I replied, not really wanting to know where.
“Love sucks, Jazz. Of course, your relationship is going great.”
“Well,--”
“You place all these feelings on someone and then they do this to you and you feel so...empty. It's, it's...it's stupid. Love is stupid, you know?”
“Sometimes.” I said as I sat down next to her.
“And you know what else?”
“Hmm?”
“I hate corn flakes.”

We cleaned up the flakey mess on the table and floor and then drove to school. Kim didn’t talk as much as she normally would. I wanted to say some words of encouragement but only bitter terms of scorn came to mind.
“What are you going to?” I asked after the very long silence.
“About Tom?”
“Yeah.”
“Still don’t know,” Kim replied as she brushed her hair away form her face. “Is it noticeable?”
“Yeah.”
“Is it so noticeable that I’m going to have to answer to every teacher?”
“Dodgeball to the face?” I asked.
“That’ll work.”
“Maybe a work-related accident?”
“Well, yeah, considering we have’t even played dodgeball yet. So, what could have happened? Oh, I’m know.”
“What?”
“Another employee clotheslined me and I fell to the floor.”
“That sounds familiar.”
“It does, doesn’t it?” Kim replied with a smile. Yeah, it was as smile at my expense, but at least it was one.

I parked the car and we walked into the school. I thought Kim would look to the smoke hole area but she didn’t take a glance back. Then, I assumed Tom would be manning the door from the inside, but he wasn’t there either. Either he wasn’t at school or they were serious about breaking-up. Of course, striking her in the face was answer enough, but I assumed he would either try to get back with her or they would trade glares and barbs for the rest of the school year.
“This feels different. Not having someone walking by me, I mean really close by me.”
“Like this?” I asked as I pressed into her side.
“Not the same, but, kind of the same. At least I know you won’t slap me.”
I nodded as we stepped up to my locker.
“Maybe it’s for the best to cool off.”
“It’s best to call it off, Kim. Freeze him out.”
“But it was an accident on both of our parts,” Kim replied.
“A good man will not hit someone.”
“A good woman won’t either,” she said as she finally looked behind her to see if he was there. “I’m for the chivalry. I’m for the candy and roses but I also know that a woman has to work with the man. They’re equal, right?”
“Right,” I replied—while hiding my disdain for the argument.
“I’m going to call his house. Do you have a quarter?”
“Afraid not,” I said. “Maybe, you should let him do the apologizing?”

My soul cracked as I said those words. I didn’t want her to call him. I didn’t want him talking to her at all. Not by phone, folded note, or smoke
signal! And as much as I wanted to slap her—calmly— across the face for even thinking about something like that, I wanted to make sure that she would be okay from all of this. If only Tom had fallen off the the diving board and broke his leg or something.
“I’ll call his house collect, see if he answers and tell him to talk to me, before they charge him.”
“Good plan.” I replied as the bell rang.
Kim ran down the hall and turned the corner. She never stopped at her locker.

I didn’t see Kim all morning. Kris was also missing, along with Michelle. My assumption was that Tom had Kris bring Kim to his house and Michelle went along for ride. I tried to keep calm. I tried to not let it bother me. Failing at that, I thought about writing a few angry notes but dismissed doing anything that could be linked back to me.
If it happened the way I though tit did then I expected Kim to tell me about it later in the day, maybe after work. Continuing on that reckless train of that: I would have another reason to snub Kris more than the ones I already had. Tom would sink further into the hole in the ground he belonged in. Michelle Bremerton? Well, I would just have to hope she hadn’t tried to groom Kim to be her duplicate in some way.

I searched for Kim during lunch but I couldn’t find her anywhere and Kris’ car was nowhere to be found.
“ Kyrie eleison,” I muttered as I stood in the parking lot, possibly looking like I either constipated or in despair. I hated the fact that I was probably right.
I went to my car, took out my cell phone and made a call.
“Aren’t you supposed to be in class?”
“Nice to hear form you too.”
“Sorry, what’s up?” Alex asked.
“I’m having friendship issues.”
“Such as?”
“Kim and her boyfriend.”
“Tom, right?”
“Yeah. He kind of beat her up last night.”
“Sorry,” Alex replied as I lowered myself further down in my seat—to hide the fact I was in my car during lunch.
“I’m not even going to try and understand their relationship.”
“Something tells me you’re trying though.”
“I’m in the middle of it, or somewhere left of center. I don’t understand them. I don’t get why she feels she has to be back with him. He hurt her. He’ll do it again. My life will become like an out-there kind of book. Yes, my life has become like the pages of a V.C. Andrews novel.”
“Never read one, do I want to?”
“They can cause irrepressible damage and make you never want to pick up another book; or have an unhealthy infatuation with your brother.”
“I wouldn’t want that for either of us and—uneasy segue here—speaking of crazy things, are you free tonight?
“After cheer practice, when I find out about Kim, and if my parents say it’s okay.”
“Fair enough. I'm not going to tell you where we're going, it'll be a surprise. I don’t keep secrets well…so I’m going to hang up now before I spoil it. Kim will be okay. Either now or later.”
“Thank you,” I replied as a shadow loomed over the car. The principal, Mr. Cain, stood a foot away from the car and looked at me.

I sat in the principal’s office and explained the situation to Mr. Cain. I think I talked for about seven minutes straight in my attempt to not have to take a detention, have my parents, notified or get into some form of trouble with Mrs. Humphrey. Mr. Cain put his hands together in an “A” frame sort of shape and then sat back in his chair.
“I fully understand.”
“And I fully understand the rules too, I just didn’t want to call long distance on the phone or bring it into the school.”
“Do you want to call her on this phone?”
“Could I?”
“Of course. I’ll be in the office.”
“Thank you, Mr. Cain,” I replied as he stepped out and closed the door.
I picked up the phone and called Tom’s phone number.

“Hello?” Tom answered on the fourth ring. I was surprised he answered at all.
“Is Kim there?”
“Jazz?”
“Yes, Tom, is she there?”
“Yeah,” he replied as he laid the phone down.
“Hey, Kimmie!”
I tried to listen to who was there but I could only hear Tom and Kim.
“Jazz?”
“Kim, are you okay?”
“I’m great. We’re great. Tom and Kris picked me up so we could talk about everything,
“Did you tell him to eat glass shards and die?” I asked as I looked out the window into the hall.
“No, I listened to him. I understood why he was so mad-he had a right to be.”
“Are you serious?” I asked with the utmost sincerity while I wanted to throw the handset across the room
“I accused him of cheating, Jazz...Not at first, but-I shouldn't have done that.
“And he shouldn’t have used your head as a punching bag. C'mon, don't give him the chance to make you feel like the guilty one.”
“He's not a bad person, he's just misunderstood by everybody else...kind of like me….which is why I think there's hope for our relationship.”
I was stunned and felt hurt, like I was the one who was physically slapped by Tom. I mean, hefty he had verbally abused me in the past, so why not? “Are you sure about this?”
“Is anybody about relationships?”
“No,” I replied, although I wanted to think one could be.
“Are you coming back to school this afternoon?”
“We’re still discussing things, so I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“You’ll call me is something happens, right? I mean if I have to send the police out there I will.”
“I think it’s going to be okay. I’ll talk to you later.”

I spent the rest of the day in a bad mood but I refused to show it. Again, you could have assumed that I was the happiest person on the planet but inside I was boiling mad.
I wanted to hit Tom with my car—of course it would be as an accident, but even if it was eventually confirmed then I think the sentence would be reduced after I testified to everything Tom had done in the past to the both of us. A jury of my peers would exonerate me.
I think they would find him guilty of causing me so much distress that I had no choice but to eliminate the gas-lighting, condescending, lying, hypocritical, antagonistic…thing!

Cheer practice was pretty much the same as the day before, except I didn’t let anything invade my personal happy space. Although it had taken all day, I finally purged the negative feelings from my mind—because I didn’t have to see Kris or Tom for the rest of the day.
Mrs. Humphrey brought out the double mats and we started on stunt work with myself and Jennifer being used as the guinea pigs.
“I’ll do whatever. Just makes sure you write “she gave it her best” on my headstone, okay?”
“Way to stay positive there, Jazz!” Andrea yelled as I took my position supported by Sarah and Andrea.

The air stunts were never too strenuous. No one was ever flung ten feet into the air as it was against the rules World Cheerleader Council rules for high schools. There were a few who attempted it during practice but I had never seen a squad perform something that would make one believe they could fly. We changed it that afternoon as Sarah and Andrea inadvertently gave too much lift and I flew into the air—just a bit off of the mat. Shion, Divina and Jennifer—who were on spotting on the side—broke into a mad dash. I fought the urge to flail my arms and scream but instead I kept my arms at my side and my body straight as the others barely caught me.

I want to say the past sixteen years of my life flashed in front of my eyes as my face came less than an inch from slamming onto the floor. I want to say that I thought all the way back to the first time I did something wrong or when I said my first word and felt some form of “why didn’t I better myself” kind of feelings. I felt the rush of air against my face and only one word resonated: “Amelia”.