That evening, wearing jeans, boots with a three-inch heel and a woollen jumper over a silk camisole, Jamie was waiting by the gates to University College at seven-fifteen. Sam arrived a few minutes later and seemed surprised to see her already there.

“I hope I haven't kept you waiting,” he said.

“No, I've only been here a couple of minutes. I hate being late,” said Jamie.

Sam smiled, kissed her on the cheek, and led her into the main buildings. He was right, it was a rabbit warren, and Jamie would never have found the theatre on her own. She had never been to a teaching theatre before and was surprised how steep the raking of the seating was. Sam suggested the back row at the very top, and Jamie could guess why. Other students were already there and Sam introduced her to some of them. Soon the theatre was full, the lights were dimmed and the film started.

As they watched it, Sam first took her hand, and later put his arm around her as she snuggled up to him. After her previous encounters with men which were all on a commercial basis of 'money for sex', Jamie was in seventh heaven. She realised that playing the virgin was the only way in which she could hide her secret from Sam, knowing that he would take his cue from her and would ask nothing of her that she wasn't willing to give. Inevitably they began to kiss, gently at first and when Jamie's lips parted and Sam's tongue tentatively explored and found hers, she found it a thrilling sensation, far better than anything she had previously experienced with a man. The irony of that was not lost on her.

All too quickly came the sounds of the French National Anthem, 'The End' title on the screen and the lights came up. It was probably just as well that they had both seen the film before since there were significant portions that they missed this time around.

“That was wonderful. Thank you so much for inviting me,” said Jamie.

“It was my pleasure,” said Sam. “There is a cup of tea and some biscuits if you're not in a hurry to go.”

Jamie thought it very unlikely that any of the students would have been to Lewy's nightclub so she agreed. Sam introduced her to some of his friends and they greeted her cordially.

One of the women students said, “We're so glad to see that Sam has a girlfriend at last.”

Jamie blushed at the thought of being Sam's girl, and in her mind offered a silent prayer to the gods that it would last, at least for a while.

Thus began one the happiest periods of Jamie's life, although she had to admit to herself that she was leading a double life. It might seem curious, but she expressed her two 'selves' by the way she presented herself. When she was being Sam's girlfriend, she always wore white underwear, mostly cotton with the exception of a white full slip because she loved the feel of it against her skin. Sam never saw her underwear since the most they did was kiss with a little tongue, although he might have caught a glimpse of the lace of her bra through her cotton blouses. She also wore pale tan tights or bare legs, flat shoes, or at most three-inch heels Her clothing was simple, mostly cotton or woollen skirts or dresses, cotton tops or blouses, very basic makeup, and her hair either parted or worn in a bun.

In total contrast, when she was working at Lewy's Club, she wore black or red satin lingerie, including crotchless panties, matching suspender belts, sheer stockings with lacy welts, six-inch heels, gowns with a slit up the side which exposed her legs to the bare creamy skin above her stockings. Her makeup was heavy with plenty of eye shadow and mascara and intense-coloured lipstick, and her hair was mainly piled high on her head and styled in an exotic manner. If you had put photos of the two Jamies side by side, it would have been hard to tell that it was the same person.

The ironic thing was that Jamie felt more like a woman when she was dressed for Sam. At the club, the whole point of all the 'girls' was that they were really males dressed to look like women and all the customers knew that's exactly what they were. Jamie began to wonder how much longer she would stay at the club. She was in a quandary as the money was very good and she wasn't trained for any other occupation. She was now an expert at giving men pleasure and she also enjoyed singing on the tiny stage, accompanied by Archie on the piano or the small band consisting of trumpet, saxophone, bass, and drums, with Archie sitting in sometimes.

Sam had asked a couple of times where was the club where she worked and she had always fobbed him off. Instead, if she had time off, she sometimes visited the pub where he worked, although always in 'girlfriend' mode of course. She knew she was falling in love with him and suspected he was getting similar feelings for her. She preferred not to think about the impossibility of it all.

Their birthdays were quite close together. Jamie knew that Sam loved jazz although she had little interest in it herself. Nevertheless, they managed an evening out together and she paid for them to go to Ronnie Scott's Jazz Club as a birthday treat. That's where her feelings about jazz changed. Being in a room with live musicians as they improvised solos on the spot, completely unrehearsed but based on jazz standards, was a revelation to her.

“How on earth do they do that?” she asked Sam.

“It just takes practice,” he replied. “I'm trying to learn jazz guitar myself so I know how complicated it really is, even though they make it look easy.”

That was new to Jamie, although Sam refused to let he listen to him play saying he just wasn't good enough yet - “Maybe in a year's time,” was all he would say. Jamie hoped that they would still be together in a year.

They celebrated Jamie's birthday with a picnic on Primrose Hill in North London. It was a warm sunny day and after laying out a blanket on the grass, Jamie sat down with her cotton skirt spread around her so that she looked like a flower, well that's what Sam said. After eating their picnic accompanied by a bottle of soft drink, Sam lay back on the blanket, and Jamie lay on her side beside him. Soon she leaned over and kissed him on the lips. He responded and soon they were locked in an embrace and she could feel his erection growing against her.

“I'm sorry,” Sam apologised, knowing that she could feel him, little knowing that her body was responding the same way and it was only the gaff that stopped him from feeling her.

Don't be sorry, I take it as a compliment,” smiled Jamie.

Suddenly Sam said: “I almost forgot, I have your birthday present and I'd like to give it to you now since I'm working on the actual day.”

He produced a small gift-wrapped box and Jamie caught her breath, afraid for a moment that it contained a ring. Then she realised that it was an elongated package, not a cube and she almost audibly sighed with relief. She carefully opened the package and stared at the contents. A gold heart-shaped locket with a matching chain nestled in the purple velvet interior. Tears filled Jamie's eyes. It wasn't as bad as being offered a ring, but nearly so.

Sam looked at her with concern: “What's the matter? Don't you like it?”

“Like it? It's beautiful and I love it, but I can't accept it,” Jamie whispered.

“I don't understand,” responded Sam, looking puzzled.

“Oh Sam, I haven't told you the truth about me,” said Jamie and she started to cry. “I'm not what you think I am.” She hesitated, then took the plunge. “The truth is that I was born a boy even though I've always felt I was a girl and nature played a cruel trick on me.”

Sam smiled. “I realised that a long time ago, but that doesn't alter how I feel about you,” he said.

“You knew?” exclaimed Jamie.

“Oh don't worry; almost anyone else would see a very pretty and feminine young lady, which is what you are, but don't forget, I'm a medical student. I've seen many bodies, male, female, and also some people like you who wish to present themselves and live as the opposite gender to the one they were given at birth. It doesn't matter in the least to me; you are a very special person in my life and that is why I would love you to accept my present.”

Jamie felt stunned and made no protest when Sam took the locket and chain out of the box, unclipped it and fastened it around her neck.

“Oh, Sam!” she gasped.hugging and kissing him. “Thank you so much. It's a beautiful gift and I will treasure it all my life.” From that day on, she wore it constantly when she was with Sam.

Jamie felt more and more guilty that while she had confessed one big secret to Sam, there were others that remained hidden. Still, what could she do? She wasn't trained for a career; her only talents were a good singing voice and the ability to please men in the most basic of ways. If she left the club, what would she do? She couldn't go back to delivering groceries. Perhaps she could be a shop assistant and work long hours for a fraction of the money she was currently getting. Like many of us when we have a major problem in our lives, Jamie put it to the back of her mind and hoped it would go away.

Jamie loved the times that she spent with Sam, but it was getting increasingly frustrating for both of them that they could not be more intimate. One evening when they had the flat to themselves and were snuggled up in the couch, they had had a few drinks, not enough to make them drunk, but enough to loosen inhibitions.

“Oh Sam, I wish I could be more of a woman for you,” sighed Jamie.

Sam was quiet for a moment as though making up his mind. Finally, he spoke. “Jamie, we can be intimate without having penetrative sex you know?”

He didn't expect Jamie to know what he was talking about, but she realised instantly what he meant. Nevertheless, she had to play the virgin.

“How do you mean?” she asked.

“I never told you before but for a while, I had a girlfriend and she was much more experienced than me.” He paused. “She...did things ... with her hands, things that were very exciting for me.”

Jamie considered her reply. Sam would know that as a teenage boy she would have masturbated, so to pretend too much ignorance would be absurd.

“You mean ... down there?” she asked, her eyes indicating his crotch where it was very obvious that he had an erection caused by his closeness to her.

“That's right,” he whispered. Jamie let her hand move gently over the bulge in Sam's trousers, all the while looking at him. Sam closed his eyes and groaned. “Oh yes,” he said. “But she did more than that.”

Jamie decided to take a risk. It would have to be obvious to the most innocent of modern young women what he was hinting at. She made a show of trying to undo his trousers and Sam finally helped her by unfastening his belt and sliding down the zip of his trousers. This partially freed his tumescence which now tented his underpants. Jamie squeezed and fondled him through the cotton material and finally slipped them down, releasing his penis which stood bolt upright and glistening in the lamplight.

Jamie has seen plenty of penises in her time and was impressed with Jamie's. It was a good eight inches long and very thick. ' You're going to make some woman very happy one day, she thought. Out loud she let out a little gasp and then curled her fingers around his girth. Sam had his eyes closed and moaned at her touch. Jamie had to remember not to seem too practiced after all this was supposed to be the first time she had ever touched another man. Her own penis strained against the gaff which held it in position, avoiding an unsightly bulge, but it had to stay confined.

Sam's penis was leaking fluid from the tip, and Jamie was very tempted to lower her mouth onto it, but it was too soon. Instead, she milked Sam's penis which was quivering at her touch and if anything seeming to grow bigger.

“Oh God, I'm coming, Jamie,” Sam cried, and his milky semen ejaculated in long silky ropes, landing on his stomach and Jamie's hands. Again she had to restrain herself from licking it up, and instead reached for a tissue and wiped her hands and Sam's stomach clean.

“That was amazing. You are very talented to do that the first time,” said Sam without a trace of irony in his voice.

“You're right, it was lovely for me and I know it was for you,” said Jamie.

That was the first of many times they were intimate. Eventually, Jamie started to use her mouth on Sam's penis when he was on the point of ejaculation, and she took his semen into her mouth and was happy to swallow it.

“Where did you learn to do that?” asked Sam and Jamie was afraid she had gone too far.

“A girlfriend told me about it. Women do talk to each other about such things, you know? She does it with her boyfriend. They don't dare have sex in case she becomes pregnant.”

“Can't they use a condom?” said Sam.

“They don't think they are totally reliable, and it would cause so much trouble if she had a baby before they are married,” replied Jamie, innocently. This seemed to satisfy Sam, and anyway, he was enjoying what Jamie was doing to him too much to say anything. She had now reached the stage of fondling his testicles and even taking them in her mouth before running her tongue up and down his shaft. She even flicked the tip of her tongue against his frenulum, driving him wild. All these techniques were said to come from the mythical girlfriend.

Late one evening when both of them were really aroused, Jamie started to undress Sam and didn't stop until he was completely naked. He had a magnificent body, she likened it to the famous statue of David, with the added attraction of his wonderful erection. She made her way from his chest down towards his groin and the object of her desire which she set about working on with her fingers, lips, and tongue. Soon Sam was writhing and groaning as his penis pulsed and quivered under her manipulations and after he had erupted into her mouth and she had swallowed his issue, she suggested he stay the night. She had already removed her dress, so stayed in her underwear as they cuddled in bed. To give Sam his due, he never touched her groin area, although he did stroke her legs still clad in silky stockings and the feel of her body clad in silk lingerie served to arouse him once more. Like many young men, it did not take him long before he was ready to orgasm again and did so twice more during the night as Jamie worked her magic on him.

Three months passed and Jamie was tempted to think that perhaps the current situation with her twin lives could go on for a long time to come. Sam has accepted that she worked in a night club as a hostess and singer but he never pressed her to know exactly which night club it was where she worked and she was happy for him to remain in ignorance even though he now knew that she was trans and could assume that she wasn't the only one in the club.

One evening it was rather quiet at the club. Jamie has just finished her first set of songs when she noticed that Roger, one of her regulars was present. He was very pleasant, always the perfect gentleman. She didn't know much about him as it was a club rule never to enquire about customers' private lives. One of the other girls had told her that he 'had a cow of a wife' and when she said 'How do you know?', it seemed that one night he got quite drunk and poured his heart out.

“Why doesn't he get divorced?” Jamie had asked and was told that Roger was a Roman Catholic and they don't allow divorce. She couldn't help thinking that the Church wouldn't approve of what she did for him each time he visited the club, but that wasn't her decision to make. Seeing her, Roger has smiled and by a turn of his head he obviously wanted some time with her in one of the bedrooms, so she checked at the bar and they both went up together.

Roger never asked for intercourse, he was happy for Jamie to demonstrate her skills at fellatio and she was happy to oblige. When they left the room and started walking down the stairs together, Roger's arm was around her waist, a sensible precaution since she was wearing six-inch heels. Halfway down the stairs, they paused for a kiss, and then Jamie glance down the stairs to the room below her before taking the next step. Suddenly the room seemed to be spinning, she felt herself falling and then blackness.

To be continued:

Next time: Hard decisions