Synopsis: Allison goes to class for the first time and runs into an old friend.

“Okay we are…here,” Remy said as she pulled her car in front of Building 18. Through the passenger window I could see students walking around, drinking coffee, reading, socializing, things I might have been doing a few days ago. To think I could have been a normal student. No, who cares? If I was going to be honest with myself I had to admit that I had spent the last ten years fantasizing about something like this happening to me and…here I was. Go me. Could I just sit back and enjoy it? The reality was a lot heavier than the fantasy.

“Okay,” I said, starting to reach for the door handle. “Wait, what do I do?”

“If you look over there,” She pointed past me. “You can see those two girls over there? That would be Arianna and Madeline, or Maddie for short. Ari and Maddie. They are actually waiting for you, but first there’s something I need to talk to you about.”

I let go of the door handle and turned to her. This could never be good. I didn’t ask, I just waited for the worst.

“Don’t freak out, it’s nothing bad,” She told me. “You’ve been handling all of this REALLY well, I mean considering it’s been a little over two days. It was kind of a lot of change to thrust on you all at once but you need to talk to someone. You live in our house, you’re our sister…well I mean a pledge but I’m sure you’ll make it.”

“Talk to someone?” I regarded her carefully, trying to see what she was up to but all I could focus on were the locks of brown hair that flowed effortlessly over her shoulders. God she was beautiful. Why couldn’t I look that good?

“Look, you seem to be holding it together really well but I really want to be sure, okay? Which is why in…three days you have an appointment with Brynn Stone, she’s a great therapist and she’s not too far from campus. You need to go.”

“I don’t know,” I was apprehensive. “I’ve never…been to a therapist and…”

“You’ve never been in this situation,” She said insistently. “You need help. You need to talk to someone. This isn’t a negotiation.”

“Okay,” I said quietly. I didn’t have anything else to add.

“Good, now have a nice day at school, we’ll see you back at the house. Please, remember not to wander off on your own.”
I started to climb out of the car.

“Hey,” She interrupted me. “Tonight at the house we have our pairing ceremony. You’ll be matched with one of the sisters, she’ll be your big sister. Everyone gets one. Whoever you’re paired with, she’ll help you, you and you can go to her for advice. It’s part of being in a sorority. It’s starting at eight so you need to be there earlier. Got it?”

“Okay,” I nodded again. I’m not sure why she was telling me this; it’s not like I had any say in where I would be going.

“Great, see you back at the house.”

I stepped out of the car and the short walk from there to the table where Arianna and Madline sat felt like marching down death row. I kept my head down with my arms wrapped around my purse as if making eye contact with anyone was going to kill me. Could people tell? There was no way they couldn’t, even with Brianna’s amazing makeup job. I tried to keep myself small, just like they’d taught me. I kept my arms close to me, I took short steps, I even limited by breathing, though that probably had more to do with the fact that I was holding my breath like a fish out of water.

“Hey Allison!” One of the girls said as I finally reached the table. “My name is Madeline, this is Arianna, you ready to go to class?”
I shook my head up and down, I somehow couldn’t bring myself to speak.

“Okay hun, loosen up a little,” Arianna said to me. “You’re way too nervous.”

“And you look great,” Madeline reassured me as we made our way toward the building.

“I’m so looking forward to this,” Arianna tugged on my arm “I love creative writing, do you do any writing?”

“A little,” I said, still staring at the floor.

“Okay, do me a favor,” Arianna took my other arm and pulled me aside just in front of the entrance. “I want you to look up, look at me.”
She didn’t give me much of a choice, she placed a finger under my chin and forced my head up until our eyes met. She was a beautiful raven haired girl with deep blue eyes and a butterfly clip holding her beautiful razor straight locks out of her face. She was the kind of girl I’d have had a massive crush on if things had been different. Madeline came around into my line of sight and waved at me. I forced a smile as I took in her curly red hair, stopping just at her shoulders. She had a pale complexion, though not as pale as Arianna.

“Listen to me very carefully,” Arianna said, keeping a hand on my shoulder. “You’re a woman, you’re beautiful. I want you to keep your head up and be proud.”

“And not just any woman,” Madeline informed me. “You’re pledging Alpha Gamma. That’s a big deal.”

“And a legacy too, don’t forget that part,” Arianna added.

Yeah, a legacy. How could I forget almost screwing over my entire family?

They stood on either side of me and guided me into the building. Inside it was much the same as the main building; wood paneled with a touch of modernity. We passed a huge bulletin board detailing upcoming events, namely for the drama club, and we made our way past a few lecture halls. Then, we came across something I really didn’t care for.

“Stephanie!” Arianna greeted a girl who was walking toward us – a girl who I immediately recognized. Stephanie Williams, my old next door neighbor growing up. Literally a childhood friend; she was going to recognize me and if I knew her, she was going to make a scene. She wouldn’t hate it but she wouldn’t be able to keep her mouth shut. Oh god, here we go.

“Hey Steph,” Madeline said. “This is Allison, she’s pledging AG.”

“Hi Allison!” Stephanie greeted me. “So you’re new huh, how’s it going? What are you majoring in?”

What.

“I uh…journalism,” I replied softly. Did she not recognize me? Should I be relieved or offended?

“Oh wow!” Stephanie exclaimed, her eyes going wide as she took a deep breath. “I have a friend from back home who was coming here this year for journalism! Oh my gosh you should meet him, his name is Miles and he’s super handsome.”

“Oh, yeah,” I smiled. “That could be cool.”

Bitch are you really trying to set me up with myself?

“So Stephanie, did you ever think about joining a sorority?” Arianna asked her. “It’s not too late to join AG you know.”

“I did try,” She said. “I was there with one of the rush groups and I didn’t get a call back.”

“Still not too late,” Madeline told her. “Continuous open bids are a thing. You could still get called back.”

“Oh that would be pretty amazing,” Stephanie said.

We made it to the classroom, I breathed a sigh of relief, she hadn’t figured it out and she would be gone in a minute.

“Okay, here we are,” Arianna pointed to Room 810F.

“Oh me too!” Stephanie chimed in. “I’m taking creative writing too!”

Oh my holy Jesus what the actual f—

“We should all sit together!” Madeline exclaimed.

So we did. Somehow we passed through the entire lecture without Stephanie noticing it was me, the kid she’d played with as a child, or the person she’d gone to middle and high school with. Though I got through it, I didn’t really process any of the information and I think that was a common theme throughout the day as I was shuffled from class to class, sometimes guided by sisters, other times, pledges like myself. It was a good way for me to get to know everyone but damn, my head was spinning by the end of the day. Finally, I found myself in the car of two girls I had just met an hour earlier driving back to the house. They reminded me that the big sister/little sister ceremony was taking place tonight. I had no idea why I needed a big sister, pretty sure I already had one.

“Hey, welcome home!” Brianna called out to me as I walked through the front door. She was sitting on the couch with Remy, they were going over some kind of paperwork. “You ready for the big ceremony?”

“I guess,” I shrugged as she walked over and led me away into another room. “How does it work?”

“Well, you get paired up with one of the sisters and they become your big sister. If you have any questions or if you’re having problems, you just go to them. They’re kind of like your guide on this crazy journey.”

“So obviously you’ll be mine,” I didn’t mind the idea really.

“No hon,” She shook her head. “I’m here to help you but you need to pair up with someone your own age, it’s part of the whole college experience.”

“It’s not like anyone’s going to pick me,” I shrugged. “I’m a—”

“Stop,” She placed a hand on my shoulder and squeezed a little bit. “You are a beautiful young lady and you need to stop thinking otherwise.”

“I just don’t…feel like a regular college girl,” I kind of sighed. “I feel like…”

“Look,” She said firmly. “If you were a regular college girl then I wouldn’t be here. I would be off working and you would be doing this alone, but that’s not how it worked out. I know it’s all new and it’s scary and confusing and…all sorts of other things but let me tell you something. For me this is amazing. As a brother I didn’t really know you. You were quiet, reserved, you held things in. I could never tell if you were happy, or sad, or mad, though if we’re being honest I could always tell there was kind of a sadness about you. Your eyes gave it away. You were always looking off into the distance like there was something you wanted but couldn’t quite reach. Your pain was so obvious. In the last few days I’ve seen more emotion from you than I did in a lifetime. You’re still afraid but it’s such a different type of fear. You’re timid, you’re shaky, you’re unsure but you know what else you are? You’re happy. I’ve seen you smile, and not a fake smile like you used to do. You’re truly happy and I can see it in your face. When I first got here yeah, I was a little apprehensive, I wasn’t sure how it would turn out but now I’m pretty sure that this is where you belong, so don’t you ever doubt it.”

I instinctively hugged her, I don’t know why. I just felt safe, maybe for the first time. I could actually trust someone.

“But…but still?” I said as I buried my head into her shoulder. “Would anyone really pick me? Who would want me?”

“Someone already has,” She kind of chuckled as she released me and placed her hands on my shoulders, smiling at me.

“What? They did?”

“There was actually quite an argument over who would get you,” She grinned. “It was really amusing to watch.”

“So…who is it?” I asked, still confused as to why anyone would want me, or why I was even worth arguing over.

“You’re about to find out,” She said as she took my hand. “Come on.”