A lifetime of reflections, Joanie’s final purge: “You Hook My Bra and I’ll Hook Yours”

Our story follows Joanie from a confused childhood to her Golden Years. Joanie reflects on the events and quirks of fate that led her to becoming Joanie. At 72 years of age, flashbacks and self reflection, allow us to better understand her lifelong search to understand ‘how’ and ‘why’. “Why me?” she asks.

(This story is semiautobiographical adult fiction. Explicit adult content. There are six chapters. All rights reserved. Comments appreciated.)

Chapter 1 of 6

Overview - Why me?

Our story follows Joanie from a confused childhood to her Golden Years. Joanie reflects on the events and quirks of fate that led her to becoming Joanie. At 72 years of age, flashbacks and self reflection, allow us to better understand her lifelong search to understand ‘how’ and ‘why’. “Why me?” she asks.

The story jumps around a bit but that’s what can happen in your Golden Years; that’s also what happens when you condense so many years into a brief snap shot. Indulge Joanie a bit and appreciate her story, appreciate her life. You may have many things in common with Joanie. Have you ever asked yourself ‘how’ or ‘why me’? Are you curious?

Chapter 1 - The Final Purge

72 year old John, also known as Joanie, was sitting on the floor of her walk-in closet sorting through an old open foot locker that contained belongings and memories of John’s female alter ego, Joanie. Rarely used since her marriage the box was more of a pleasure chest than it was a foot locker. Widowed a few years earlier (after 52 years of marriage) Joanie was tying up loose ends prior to, God forbid, suddenly becoming gravely ill or passing away.

In the two years since Emma’s passing the friends that had said “we’ll stay in touch” had stopped coming or calling. John had cut back on his forays out of the house preferring to tend his garden, sit at his laptop, surf the web or watch television. As the months passed John’s presence faded and more of Joanie emerged. Emma would have approved. And so would Michelle.

As you age beyond 60 and beyond 70… into the twilight of your life, age spots appear, your brunette hair grays and you grudgingly come to terms with your own mortality. The feelings of a need to downsize become more frequent and more urgent. You decide that you don’t want anyone having to sort through, toss out or try to understand all your femme acquisitions after you’ve died. It would be best to neatly tie up loose ends while you’re healthy. You can’t sort or purge from a hospital bed or mortuary.

The purge begins – sorting things out

As usual Joanie wore basic morning makeup; lipstick, a bit of blush and a touch of mascara. There was no need to go all out, just enough to look pretty and feel more feminine. Her high cheek bones helped with that image.

Joanie’s platinum white hair perfectly accented her Sapphire earrings and made her beautiful vibrant blue eyes stand out. Her below- the-shoulders hair was pulled back into a perky ponytail as it kept her hair out of the way as she worked.

Joanie was wearing her comfortable clothes which on this day consisted of a very cute and practical jumper and a matching peach colored panty and bra set. The bra was a snap in the front style. Hooking her bra in the back, by herself as she used to, has become impossible over the last few years. With Emma’s passing there was no one to help. Their long standing promise of “You hook my bra and I’ll hook yours” was no longer an option.

The closet

Over the course of a couple days Joanie had already reduced her large walk-in closet of clothes and shoes to 1/10th of what it had been. It was a slow and memory provoking ordeal. It was difficult to let go of her beautiful dresses and matching outfits. Some of her clothes were too formal or revealing for her ‘Golden Years’. There no longer was a need for party dresses or business skirts and blouses. The same could be said for some of her high heels and shoes. 3 and 4 inch heels were for the youngsters. Why risk breaking a hip?

On the first day of the final purge Joanie began by sorting and discarding her beloved Emma’s clothing and shoes. It was a sad process. Joanie was wearing a pair of beautiful gold and Sapphire drop earrings that she had been given by her wife on their fifth wedding anniversary so very long ago. Joanie always shared her jewelry with Emma and these earrings were their favorites.

Emma’s clothes had remained untouched in their walk-in closet since her untimely passing two years previously. Each garment that Joanie sorted brought distant memories flooding back. Joanie brought a chair into her closet in order to sit and determine what to do with each piece of clothing. Each item reminded her of specific moments in their lives. Joanie went through a half box of tissues throughout the day as she silently cried while sorting.

Removing a classic ‘little black dress’ from Emma’s side of the closet Joanie reached over to her own side of the closet and removed an identical dress from a hanger. They had bought a couple of identical outfits for a very special cruise of which the LBDs were just one. Joanie hugged them close, sat down and closed her eyes. There was a slight hint of their favorite perfume on them. Memories of a very special 10 day anniversary Caribbean cruise from years ago came flooding back.

Flashback – The cruise

The cruise was designed for cross dressers, friends and families. The cruise theme was “ A ‘Trans’ Caribbean Cruise”. The cruise was a 10 day total immersion period of non judgmental liberation for Joanie and Emma. The crew had been trained and briefed on what to do or say and they were trained on what to not say or do. It was the ships eighth voyage for gender fluid people. There would be no awkward issues on this cruise. Emma had researched it in detail and suggested that they take it.

The spring time cruise was a beautiful, life changing experience for them both. Prior to the cruise Joanie and Emma had no idea that there were so many likeminded couples. The cruise dinners, dances, and social events were amazing as was lazing by the pool and spa. Joanie stood up and grabbed the beautiful two piece swim suit she had worn. She recalled the unique tan lines she acquired. It was interesting to meet and interact with other cross dressers and their significant others in a pleasant non-threatening environment.

There were many cruise activities, seminars and social functions for those that wanted to participate. There were hair and nail salons, couples spa opportunities, Fantasy Foto studios, raffles, make over options along with all the other traditional cruise features. Shore excursions were to CD/TG/ Gay friendly locations. In other words the cruise was perfect.

On board seminars covered many topics including how to present as female, voice lessons, legal issues, do it yourself gaff and breast form making, makeup advice, how to cope and many other relevant topics.

Joanie was ecstatic when she won a free set of state of the art silicon breast forms after a seminar explaining ‘How to Present in Public”. They looked so very realistic and they felt fabulous. It was a dream comes true! Even the nipples were perfect. Joanie couldn’t wait until she got back to her cabin to put them in her bra. Emma mused “Wouldn’t it be nice if they could figure a way to add flavor to those nips?!” Emma knew that sucking and nibbling Joanie’s nipple were a special turn on for her.

By day two it was obvious that all willing passengers had taken advantage of the included facial make over. The less than perfect makeup you saw on day one was gone. Eyeliner, eye shadow and lipstick were distinctly better. You only need to relax on a lounge and observe.

Emma had arranged a three hour ‘Fantasy Foto’ sessions for Joanie and herself which fulfilled several fantasies for them both. Complete costumes, props and help with makeup created the illusions Joanie had craved for years. The photos of her as a beautiful bride were amazing as were pictures of her as a cheerleader, sexy boudoir style photos, runway model and Las Vegas showgirl. The sexy ‘Joanie as a nurse’ photo was good but not on the same level as the others. Emma had ordered the same photo fantasies for herself.

The final photo session consisted of a few staged soft-porn Lesbian girl-on-girl scenes of them both. For an extra fee the studio filmed a 4 minute video. The entire process was very erotic for the two beautiful women. Joanie had to work very “hard” at remaining flaccid for the entire shoot. The session was time and money well spent. Glorious pent up relief came afterwards when they got back to their cabin.

The end results were amazing. The pictures and video would be a source of visual memories and stimulation they would enjoy forever. They were in a special photo album from the cruise photo studio. In gold embossed letters the album was titled: “A ‘Trans’ Caribbean Cruise”.

The social events and dinners made them new friends. One couple, Jan and six foot tall Jill, invited Emma and Joanie back to their mini suite to get better acquainted. The couples eagerly shared some of their personal details and experiences. Before the night was over they were all stripped down to their lovely lingerie. The lingerie comparisons gradually evolved into a more adult form of sharing. It turned out that the foursome had a lot in common. Halfway through their get acquainted session Jill had to call room service for more towels, linens and champagne. All agreed that the cruise would never be forgotten.

On the second day of the cruise they went for a mani/pedi session (their nail extensions were beautiful), followed by a hair salon appointment. The hair salon did wonders for Joanie’s appearance. Joanie was initially apprehensive about the way they had thinned and arched her eyebrows but Emma convinced her to relax and go with the flow. Joanie was so relaxed that she agreed to have blonde highlights added to her hair. She was easily enticed into getting an additional ear piercing. The pearl stud, contrasting with her three inch gold hoops, added to Joanie’s look. A full body wax and hair removal treatments fulfilled another long standing desire for her.

The two of them talked about getting matching navel piercings but decided against it while on a cruise. There was swimming and Jacuzzi time that they would have had to avoid while their piercings healed.

Other memorial moments of the cruise for Joanie were relaxing in the swimming pool in her one piece swim suit in plain view of everyone. The fact that there was no judgment or giggling by guests or crew was exactly what she needed. The resulting tan lines were an added bonus.

And there was the after dinner cocktail party with a live band where Emma and Joanie slow danced while wearing their identical little black dresses. Emma snuggled on Joanie’s neck as they made their way around the dance floor. Later in the evening, and after a couple of Mai Tai’s, they kicked off their heels, leaving them under their table, and glided to the music. It was a blissful time. A casual observer would have wondered about all the pretty ladies dancing together.

Not on the ship’s agenda were the intimate times that Joanie and Emma had spent in their stateroom and private balcony. The sense of freedom was fantastic.

When the cruise began it was John who had nervously walked onto the ship with Joanie in a suit case. When they disembarked ten days later it was a beautiful Joanie in a flirty yellow sundress, and her equally pretty girlfriend, that confidently strode down the gangway and onto the dock. Her matching straw purse, sun hat and oversized tortoise sun glasses were a nice touch. She was smiling humming Lou Reed’s ‘Walk on the Wild Side’ as they left the ship. These pleasant shared memories would last forever.

Next – Chapter 2: Back to the closet

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