“Hey, I have something to tell you… I’m sorry I didn’t mention this earlier. I really hope we can still be friends once you know… but if not and if you’re weirded out I can understand...”

“...I think I’m a girl.”

Ian laughed. “God, I thought that you were actually going to say something big there, Allie. You had me going for a little. I was genuinely nervous.”

“...what?”

This was not at all the reaction Allan—Allie to friends—was expecting.

“...uh, maybe you heard me wrong? I, uh, was coming out to you… y’know… as a girl?”

“Yeahhh, Allie, obviously you’re a girl. Jeez, you’re really committing to this.”

“No, what? I mean, I’m a gu—people think I’m a guy. And I’m telling you that I think I might not be. Because you’re my friend.”

Ian scoffed. “Who exactly are these mysterious people who think you’re a guy, Allie?” He gestured up and down his friend’s body. “I mean, I know you’re a little… ummm...”

“Scrawny? Shy?”

“...Noo, uh… never mind. But, like, did a stranger say something weird to you? Because I know I have some other female friends who get misgendered by randos because they have shorter hair. I have this one friend that some white lady thought was a twelve year old—”

“NO! Ian, you’re not listening to me. Just like everyone always does! EVERYONE thinks I’m a guy, okay? I basically am one, at least physically. I don’t have boobs, I have a male name, etc. Why do you not understand that I’m telling you something new about myself?!”

Ian winced. “Aaand there’s the thing I was trying not to mention earlier because you’re obviously sensitive about it. You know they make padded bras, right? Lots of girls use them. Umm, not that I’d know… but, y’know, sometimes it’s obvious. Y’know, like when a girl walks into school suddenly—”

“Suddenly?”

“Never mind, you get the point. Also, since when is your name male? I mean, I know it’s a little weird, but everyone calls you Allie anyway. And having a weird name hardly makes you a guy. I mean, like, Ashley used to be a boy’s name back in olden times. Or like Lindsey, there’s still this one senator. Or I know this one girl named Clancy, and since when is that even a first name—”

“Okay, my NAME is not the point. And I go by Allie because I never liked how the full name sounded, and it looks weird written down.”

“—oh, and you said EVERYONE thinks you’re male? I really think you’re extrapolating too much from one person. I mean, sure, you have kind of short hair and—y’know—but whoever this was must have someone missed, like, that you have pierced ears, and like your face shape, and your voice and like intonation, and how you move… not to mention your clothes. I mean, I guess you don’t really wear dresses and sometimes they’re kind of baggy, but there’s way to much in the way of purple and sky blue and like denim shorts to really make that much of a mistake.”

Allie gave up. Hopefully the next time she came out to someone would go better.