We arrived at the local supermarket after a 5-minute drive. I vaguely remembered going here with my mother when I was very young, but what I remembered more was feeling small and vulnerable when adults surrounded me. As I grew older, the supermarket became a much less scary place, but now… things are different. 

I was returning to the supermarket wearing girl’s clothes, holding hands with a stranger and contemplating what was going to happen after my parents had moved away. It had all happened so fast, we drove past my real house and saw my real parents loading our belongings into three large red trucks. 

Stephanie casually stated, “Someone’s moving” and continued to drive past, but her words were the last push needed to send my brain into super-ultra-panic-mode. The last couple of days I had waited patiently for a chance to escape my neighbour’s house, but Stephanie destroyed every chance I had. 

Even if Stephanie blocked every attempt I made to escape, I knew I would eventually find a way out. But after seeing those three red trucks loaded with all of our belongings, I had to start panicking. I did at least try to escape the car, but the automatic door locks had already gone off. 

I was too scared too make a more obvious effort to escape the car, as I would have to explain to Stephanie why my parents moving away was such a distressing thing. And I did not want to be locked in the car with her after outing myself as a boy. 

Stephanie did not even know my true gender, she was under the impression that I was an 11 year old girl called Courtney, whose parents had deserted her during the holidays. Stephanie had taken it upon herself to protect this 11-year-old orphan, meaning she was always nearby to make sure I never tried to get away. 

I can only hope that my parents are still home when we get back, so I can tell them I still exist. It would mean Stephanie would find out about the real me, but I was now willing to risk that, knowing that I’d be moving far away from her right away. 

I just had to endure a couple more hours pretending to be Courtney, and then I would have my final chance to escape. 

As we walked through the car park, I could tell these last few hours of being a girl were going to be incredibly uncomfortable. There was not one empty space in the parking lot, the place was going to be full. I clinged to Stephanie’s hand tighter than ever as we walked to the automatic doors of the supermarket, and she made sure I stayed close to her side. 

I was still hoping to go through this experience without being seen, but it was going to be hard not to bump into someone let alone not be noticed. The entrance was filled with adults and their children, all-trying to complete the weekly grocery shopping. There were also a couple of girls who looked about the same age as Kaitlyn, and I really hoped Stephanie wasn’t going to make me talk to them. 

Instead she pulled me through the entrance of the supermarket and grabbed one of the nearby shopping carts. I felt a weird sensation as warm air was blown around my legs and up my dress, making my whole body tingle. It was another new experience for me, feeling the air around my legs like that, but Stephanie kept pulling me along. She was probably used to that sensation by now, with all the dresses she wears.

“If anyone asks, you’re my daughter, alright dear?” It sounded like a rhetorical question, or like she was stating a fact rather than asking for my permission. 

“But you’re not my Mom.” I replied, I was willing to call her Mom to make her happy, but pretending she was actually my mother was going a bit far. Then again this whole thing has gone a bit far.

“I know honey, I know, but it will make it easier to explain if we run into anyone.” Stephanie began pushing the cart along the first aisle in the supermarket, frozen goods. If it weren’t for the incredibly girly faux fur jacket I was wearing, I would be one of those frozen goods. For once I was glad to be wearing something pink and fluffy. 

“Who are we going to run into?” I asked. I really didn’t think anyone would recognise us. I couldn’t remember anyone from my old school days that shopped here, so I was safe. With Suzanne however, I didn’t know where she worked or if she even had any friends. I never noticed her invite anybody to her house aside from Kaitlyn’s school friends, so I just assumed she was friendless.

Besides, if someone I knew did find us here, I’m certain they wouldn’t recognise me dressed like this. I’m not even sure Sophie would have recognised me, and she lives right across the street! 

“Some of my friends from work often shop here honey, and it would just be easier to say you’re my daughter instead of explaining who you really are, alright?” I had to agree with her, it would be easier than explaining I was actually an orphan. And much easier than explaining that I wasn’t an orphan girl at all, but a boy stuck pretending to be a girl.

My reply was to nod slowly, as it didn’t look like Stephanie was in the mood for an argument. I just kept reminding myself that this was over as soon as we got home, and that if we were recognised, it would be Stephanie left embarrassed and not me.

Stephanie was looking in every direction, in case one of her co-workers was nearby, as well as picking out various products and putting them in the shopping cart. She instructed me to hold onto the cart whenever she let go of my hand, in case anyone tried to kidnap me. She was growing more and more protective by the second, almost to the point where I thought I was going to have to sit in the cart itself, in one of the foldable seats that babies used. 

We continued down each of the aisles, picking up all the usual stuff. I watched as the shopping cart gradually grew to a point where I couldn’t even see through the cart. I wasn’t tall enough to look over it like Stephanie could, so I had no idea what was ahead of us. I could only find two positives from all this, I could now hide behind the shopping cart, and there was not enough room for Stephanie to put me in the baby seat. 

In a time like this it was really important that I looked for positives in everything…

Stephanie steered the shopping cart into an aisle lined from one end to the other with thousands of cereal boxes. Her eyes focussed on each of the different brands as we slowly passed by, rarely looking away for second. 

“Why don’t you stand up here and pick what you want?” Again it sounded like she was ordering me about instead of asking. With one gentle tug on my hand, I was standing in front of her, with the cart in front of me. 

“Up here, there you go.” She lifted me up so that my feet rested on the metal bar that ran from one side of the cart to the other. I held onto the handle to keep myself from falling back, but when Stephanie stepped closer and grabbed hold of the cart again, I knew I wasn’t going to be falling off. 

I felt her body pushing against my back, and her flowery scent was now more noticeable than ever. I felt the familiar sensation of being kissed on the head, making me feel even more uncomfortable, and there was no way of escaping it. 

I then had to point out some of the cereals that I liked in my previous life as a boy. Each box had different designs on it, I pointed to the more masculine looking box and Suzanne picked up the girly, feminine version of it. We ended up getting Princess Oats, Disney Stars & Animals, Little Mermaid Sea Biscuits and Coco Pops. 

Even after I’d selected the cereals that I wanted, Stephanie didn’t let me get down from the cart. She seemed to enjoy having me under her thumb like this, or to be more exact, under her breasts. 

She continued to push the cart along the aisle, casually glancing at the other brands that we didn’t see. I looked down the aisle and saw a shapely woman pushing her cart towards us, she looked about the same age as Stephanie and had long curly brown hair. We had passed many different people during our time in the supermarket, some had smiled at us and said hello before walking away, but this woman was even friendlier.

I tapped Stephanie’s hand to get her attention, and she looked straight at the woman. A bright smile engulfed Stephanie’s face as she recognised the woman immediately, the shopping cart suddenly started moving towards this mystery woman. Without telling me what to do or explaining who the woman was, Stephanie began a cheery conversation with what was to be the first of her many work friends that I would be meeting.

“Hi Jan.” Stephanie spoke first just as our shopping carts lined up side by side. 

“Hey Steph.” Jan seemed quite excited as she gave me a quick look over. “And who is this little cutie?” 

“This is Courtney, one of my daughters.” I felt Stephanie stroke the top of my head, as if she was proud to call me her daughter. 

I had no trouble giving Jan a shy and uncomfortable smile, as my discomfort levels were already over the limit. She continued to look at me as if she was waiting for me to speak, so I quietly said hello and waved, which was fast becoming my default way of greeting people. 

“Oh it’s great to finally meet you dear, your Mom talks about you and your sisters quite often. You must be the youngest of the three?” Jan asked as she examined me closely.

Three? Why would Stephanie say she has three daughters when she only has two?

“No, no, little Courtney is the middle child, even though she doesn’t look it, she’s…” Stephanie was about to say I was eleven, I knew it, and so I cut her off quickly and blurted out “Twelve” in attempt to restore some normality to my situation. It was only Stephanie that thought I was eleven, so I would only have to convince her that I was really twelve. I knew it was only a one-year difference, but I wanted at least one thing in Courtney’s life to be real. 

Stephanie made no obvious reaction to my sudden age growth, instead she continued the conversation as if it was no surprise at all.

“She’s two years younger than my eldest Kaitlyn, and four years older than my youngest Harpher.” Stephanie was making habit of speaking proudly whenever I was the topic of conversation, and every time she spoke of Courtney like that it was like another nail in my old life’s coffin. Without realising it, I was slowly becoming a real member of the Allison family.

“I hope to meet the other two some day.” Jan seemed quite eager to see the complete set of Allison ‘girls’ together. 

“Well Kaitlyn should be around here somewhere, I sent her to get some milk a while ago...” Stephanie was clearly starting to get worried. “Have you seen a girl about a foot taller than Courtney, with dark blonde hair?” 

“I know just who you mean, she was standing right outside with a big group of girls, holding a bottle of milk. I’m sure she’s still there.” Jan was quick to reassure my new ‘mother’ that none of her pups had gone missing. 

“Jan, could you look after Courtney for a bit, I have to go check on my eldest.” Before Stephanie had finished speaking, she had already lifted me off the shopping cart and placed me next to Jan, then knelt beside me to quietly whisper.

“Now dear, be good and don’t tell Jan who you really are, I wont be long.” My pretend mother kissed my cheek lovingly, yuck, and rushed off towards the exit. I was left there feeling more humiliated than ever, it was as if she was treating me like a baby, picking me up and kissing my cheek like that.

If only she’d left me alone, I’d of been able to make a break for it and run home, it wasn’t that far away. For now I was stuck with Jan, who was quick to move our shopping cart and myself to the side of the aisle, out of the way. At that point I didn’t know what to do, it was the best chance of escaping that I’d had in a while. I could just run away, since my fear of being outside dressed like a girl had quickly faded. 

The fact that nobody seemed to recognise me was both humiliating and helpful.

I knew I had to get home sooner rather than later, since my parents could of disappeared by now, but what if I ran home and there was nobody there? I would then have to convince Stephanie that I ran home for no particular reason, and there was no way she was going to believe that. I would eventually crack under the pressure and say who I really was. 

But if I outed myself at that moment, where would I be? 

Stephanie would probably throw me out of the house and I’d be nothing more than an orphan, since my parents had now disappeared without sparing a thought for their son. There were so many possible outcomes, so I ended up just standing beside this stranger, remaining silent whilst thinking things out over and over again. 

I looked up at Jan, who was effectively my babysitter for the next few minutes, to see that she was peering around the aisle nervously, never focussing on one thing. I could tell the awkward silence was torturing her. 

“So how do you know my Mom?” I asked politely. I guess I had to play along with Stephanie’s story as well as my own.

“Oh, well we work together in Chicago, hasn’t she said?” Jan looked quite relieved to now be talking. 

“Mom doesn’t really talk about work that much.” I was right, throughout my first few hours as Courtney, my pretend mother had at no point talked about her work. 

“Well we work together for a daily newspaper, you’re Mom is quite the reporter.” 

Jan slowly sat down on the edge of an empty shelf, probably sensing how tall she was compared to me. All I could think of saying was an unimpressive “Heh” since I knew not saying a word would just make this conversation even more awkward. 

“You know honey, we do have a special day coming up, where everybody brings their children to work, you should ask your Mom if you can come in with her.” Jan spoke excitedly, as if this was her one chance to see the three Allison daughters together in person. 

“Can Kaitlyn come?” I had to ask. I would definitely need her with me for that. 

“Of course she can, and Harpher too. Everyone at the office has been so looking forward to meeting Steph’s girls.” 

What exactly has Stephanie been telling people in her office? She can’t have mentioned any names, I mean Courtney didn’t even exist until last night. 

“I guess it could be fun.” I had never been to Chicago before, let alone a busy office, so it could really be fun for me at least. 
“Oh it will be dear, it’ll be like a birthday party, honestly.” Jan grinned at me. It sounded like her office was actually a nightclub, she was hyping it up so much. 

I didn’t really put much thought into going to Stephanie’s workplace, since I was still hoping to escape Courtney’s life when we got back home. But I knew that the longer we stayed here, the more likely it was that my parents had already left. I did manage to see inside one of those big red trucks, and it was quite close to being full, so I knew we didn’t have much time to get back. 

And standing here talking to Jan was not getting me back home any quicker, since the woman was quite fond of conversation. She described me as a little fashionista, and was particularly impressed by the fur jacket I was wearing. I had got quite a lot of looks from people because of this jacket, with most commenting on how cute I looked. I had a feeling that Stephanie had picked this jacket just so people would compliment her on raising such a cute daughter. 

I had to explain to Jan that the jacket actually belonged to my ‘sister’ Harpher, since I would never own something as girly as that jacket, even if I were a girl. But what really irked me was when Jan said, “You seem like the kind of girl who has a bunch of these jackets at home.” 

Did I really come across as girly as that? I mean, I knew I was already pretty good at pretending to be a girl, but for most of this trip I was just moping around waiting for it to end. Apparently I acted like a girl without even trying.

Stephanie eventually returned to us, with Kaitlyn right behind her holding that one bottle of milk that had caused us so much trouble. We said our goodbyes to Jan and continued doing our shopping, until Stephanie decided she could do the rest by herself and allowed Kaitlyn and me to meet her at the checkout later. Kaitlyn kept looking me up and down whilst smirking evilly, I honestly thought that she was in league with her mother in trying to humiliate me. We went and sat down in the small supermarket café as we waited for ‘our’ mother. 

“I love your outfit Court, pick it out yourself?” Kaitlyn was grinning from ear to ear, enjoying every moment of it. 

“No, ‘our’ mother picked it out for me” I replied. I hoped referring to her mother, as my own mother would scare her, just for some sort of revenge. 

“What’d you mean ‘our’ mother Court?” Kaitlyn’s face twisted with confusion. 

“Now I have to pretend to be your sister, as well as pretend to be a girl.” I said. I hated it even more when the words came from my own mouth. 

Kaitlyn started giggling as soon as I said ‘sister’ and found it quite hard to stop after that. I guess she didn’t know about the rather serious business of my parents moving away. 

“Stop giggling! This isn’t funny at all! I could be stuck like this forever!” I shouted at her, but in a whisper so as not to draw any attention. I mean that isn’t really something you’d normally hear in a café. 

“Don’t worry Court, as soon as we get home you’ll have a chance to escape and go back to being a boy, why don’t you just enjoy being my sister for a bit longer okay?” 

Kaitlyn was still having trouble containing her giggles, she had to cover her mouth every now and then just in case one suddenly popped out. 

“You don’t get it do you? My parents are moving away! Didn’t you see the three red trucks outside my house?” 

I kept a close eye on Kaitlyn’s face, and soon after I spoke I saw a wave of seriousness spread across her features. I noticed that her nails looked freshly polished as she rested her hands on the table in front of me. Was that what she doing this morning aside from buying milk? 

“I didn’t know… they must have arrived just after I left Court.” Kaitlyn sounded quite sincere. 

“Yeah, you left, so our plan was ruined and I had to spend the whole day with your mother. I hope you had fun getting your nails done and hanging with your friends whilst I had to sit in a bath and have some stranger wash my hair.” 

I wasn’t really an angry person at heart, but talking to Kaitlyn about my day was really pushing me over the edge. 

This on a day where I had been pushed over many edges.

I was about to cross my arms to show my pretend sister how angry I was, but Kirsty quickly grabbed my hand and squeezed it, much like her mother did.

“I’m so sorry Kaleb, I was just about to wake you up when Mom asked me to go pickup some milk. I couldn’t just say no to her, I had to go. And then when she phoned me to say you were both coming to the store later, I figured I would just wait here. The plan was really going to work, but Mom seemed determined to get me out of the house.” 

Kaitlyn continued her apologetic tone enough for me to believe her, but now I was just upset. It really seemed as if Stephanie was trying to keep me as a prisoner. 

“What am I going to do?” Well I honestly didn’t know what to do, every plan we made was quickly and easily brushed aside by the maternal monster that was Stephanie.

“I’m sure your parents will still be there when we get back, and if they’re not then you know you’ll always have me.” 

Kaitlyn squeezed my hand and looked deep into my eyes. This reminded me of those really dramatic moments in the movies just before the two characters kiss.

“Court since you’re my little sister now.” I groaned at her for ruining the moment, but Kaitlyn grinned playfully at me and I could not help but smirk back. I mean, if I was going to be stuck as girl, who better to have as my sister than my best friend. 

We sat in the café for a good ten minutes at least, waiting for ‘our’ mother to come through the checkout. Stephanie eventually turned around the corner, pushing a cart filled to the brim with plastic bags, whilst talking to what looked like Pam again. 

I quickly alerted Kaitlyn and nodded towards the two. 

“That’s Jan, she works with our Mom or… your Mom.” I whispered in her ear just as Stephanie and Jan got within earshot. Jan waved at both of us with an excited grin on her face, but I couldn’t think of what she was excited about. Stephanie stopped outside the café to wait for us, whilst Jan continued on and out the exit. Kaitlyn and I quickly evacuated our seats and the three of us quickly exited the supermarket, finally.

“Jan is coming over for some tea, so I want you both on your best behaviour.” Stephanie said it quite a strict sounding voice. Now it seemed like she was treating me as her daughter instead of as a guest, and I could tell she was enjoying it. 

“Wear something nice Kaitlyn, and find something for Courtney too.” 

Stephanie was planning some sort of fancy tea party, and it was probably going to be the girliest experience of my life. I just hope I wasn’t going to be there when it started. 

When we got to the car, Kaitlyn claimed the front passenger seat before I could, so I was pushed to the back seats. Now, Stephanie’s car had different coloured seat belts, so I was of course forced to use the pink seat belt. Stephanie buckled me in herself, making me feeling quite useless. If she knew I was a boy then I would probably be helping her put the shopping into the car, but I was stuck being treated like a delicate little girl for now. 

Stephanie came through on her promise to buy me some fake nails, the packet of which she threw to Kaitlyn in the front seat. 

“Kaitlyn dear, I bought those for your sister, would you mind?” 

Kaitlyn turned around in her seat gave me an apologetic look, it looked like she had no choice but to do what her mother asked. I lazily raised my hands up to her and whispered, “Just get it over with” because I just wanted to get home. Stephanie definitely wasn’t rushing. 

I was beginning to think that she somehow knew who I really was, since nobody takes this long to pack the shopping into the car. It was like she was in slow motion, just to punish me. If she did know I was a boy, then making me wait long enough for my parents to abandon me was probably the first of my punishments. 

Each nail that Kaitlyn applied was smooth, curved and distinctly pink. I should of known that my new mother would of picked out the most feminine fake nails there were, not the black ones, or the ones with skulls on them. 

“My Mom is really enjoying having you as her daughter.” Kaitlyn pointed out the obvious. 

“Are you jealous?” I grinned at her.

“Jealous that Mom has someone else she can dress up like a doll? No way.” Kaitlyn snickered and gave me a sarcastic pat on the head, was I the only one not enjoying this? 

We eventually drove home after what seemed like an age of waiting for Stephanie, who seemed to be unloading three shopping carts instead of one. I was so nervous as I sat there waiting to get home, but my usual nervous fidgeting was prevented every time I heard my new nails click whenever they touched something, or the sudden pain I felt whenever I clenched my fists. 

I could tell it was going to take a while to get used to having long nails like these. 

Other than holding the door handle the whole time, whilst nervously fidgeting as Kaitlyn and her mother talked about Bring Your Children to Work Day, the journey home was mostly uneventful. However, when we finally did reach the cul-de-sac, the three red trucks had disappeared and the driveway in front of my house was empty. 

As soon as the car stopped, I pulled on the door handle in the hopes of rushing out to see if anyone was still there, but the door did not budge. I had to wait for Stephanie to unbuckle herself and walk the long way around the car before she opened my door, unbuckled my pink seat belt and lifted me out of the seat. I wanted to argue with her to explain that I could have done all of that myself, but checking my house was my first priority. 

With Stephanie busy with unloading the shopping, I ran across the street to my real house and rang the doorbell, Kaitlyn was right behind me. I could tell she was as hopeful as I was that there was somebody home. We waited a minute before I rang the doorbell once again, but there was no answer. Kaitlyn then pushed past me and shouted through the small letterbox in the door, “Is anybody home?” but again there was no answer. 

For the next few minutes I rang the doorbell without an answer. When at last we did hear a reply, it was not one of my parents, but my fake mother Stephanie shouting from across the street.

“I don’t expect to do all this work myself, Girls!” 

I gave the doorbell one last push, but Kaitlyn grabbed a hold of my hand and gently pulled me back in the direction of her house, or rather, our house.