BigCloset TopShelf
TopShelf TG Fiction in the BigCloset!
The Hatbox
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Comments
Unexpected development
I was surprised by the turn of events for Dawn.
Excellent Story.
So the Daniels'
find out that they are no longer the big fish in the pond.
Jail house justice, hmmm I hope their injuries aren't too bad.
Daddy Daniels' mouth is likely to get him a contempt of court charge at the least.
Cliff hangers! *followed by crusing*
I love Snowfall's stories, but the girl is worse then me at CLIFF HANGERS. I need MORE!
May the peace and happiness of the Goddess keep and protect you
as always your humble outlaw
Jessie Wolf
Cliffhangers
Boy you sure know how to write, maybe a little too good. Didn't you read in the writer's manual that the occasional use of a cliffhanger adds to the story. Note the word occasional.
Excellent story, no joke about you knowing how to write. Then you throw in a chapter like this and we have innumerable more plot devices to be concerned over. I do wish it was Friday again real soon.
Hugs
Francesca
- Formerly Turnabout Girl
What's this with letting bullies stay in school
... after attacking and severely hurting someone. They are the ones who deserve a free orchie after even their first severe physical attack, given that they were already bullying that same person prior to the attack.
Keeping such people out of the gene pool is a good thing.
Free?
Nah. They deserve to pay the full, un-insured cost for Dawn's AND their own, plus that of an implanted hydrolized spiro solution pump each, just to help them de-tox from their terminal testosterone poisoning...
-Liz
Successor to the LToC
Formerly known as "momonoimoto"
Confusion
I think I missed a point in the story. My first read wa that Dawn was in Dawn mode at school. That contrary to the timeline she discussed. So I assume the attack was against her while in imposter mode as Don.
clearing your confusion
Dawn name is legally Dawn now, but she is still disguising herself in school as Don.
quidquid sum ego, et omnia mea semper; Ego me.
alecia Snowfall
You Evil Bi...
...g meanie.
I had to go back and re-read the last chapter because this one started so strangely that I thought I might have missed a chapter.
That is so not nice!!!!!
Be kind to those who are unkind, tolerant toward those who treat you with intolerance, loving to those who withhold their love, and always smile through the pains of life.
me too
But - having been knocked out in a wreck (no real injuries, though) that's what it's like. There's a chunk of that night that's just gone.
The Daniels duo (father and
The Daniels duo (father and son) finally got what was truly coming to them both. Too bad it took so long and cost pain and issues to others before they found out that they were not as big as they believed themselves to be.
Really glad that Brett was a pretty good actor and it was all filmed. Should be rather interesting viewing for the Police and the DA, and quite possibly the judge when they get to court.
I remember escorting (along with two of my officers) a juvenile from the juvie section of our County Jail to the Adult section, when he turned 18.
As we did so, we all sang him Happy Birthday. For some reason, he either did not like the song or our singing, never did figure out which; or it could have been both :-)
Goodness !!!
The loss of her gonads only benefits her, though a surgical procedure is preferable to a beat down. How stupid of that punk to attack her again. He has ruined his future. Those in stir will alter his point of view, I am sure.
Somehow, I have made it through over 12 years and never been assaulted or even has more than one or two people be mean to me. It is by the grace of God, I believe.
Can't remember how old Dawn is but since she is driving she must be 16-17? With the physical damage and subsequent castration, I believe that she could have SRS about as soon as she wants to do it. With more testing, they may find a genetic issue with her or find that she is Androgen resistant or something. I am glad that she has a good support network. Most of us don't have that and lose everything to boot.
Nice episode.
Gwen
Wow! Totally unexpected.
That's a pretty rough way to lose your testes, but at least Dawn is on her way now!
Joe and Casey are proof that stupidity IS hereditary - and unfortunately stupid people usually breed like vermin.
Dallas
D. Eden
Dum Vivimus, Vivamus
stupid bullies
I really hope they get the book thrown at them.
A library.
x
a friend asked me
a friend asked me a question. If me putting our bully in with adults is intentional. It is. In reality, its not supposed to happen. In my story, it just did. Casey's streak of being able to do whatever he wanted to whomever, just came to a screeching end, and his bad luck is only starting.
quidquid sum ego, et omnia mea semper; Ego me.
alecia Snowfall
Depends
It really depends on what state they are in. Some states certify a minor of a certain age as adults automatically. Depends on the severity of the charges. In order to get such an offender tried in juvenile court they have to go through a process known as "Reverse Certification". No, the way you wrote it is quite likely. Had the DA not been there the police would have had to treat him as a juvenile. But the DA has the power to upgrade the charges.
"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin
Moving along nicely
Your story continues to impress. Nicely paced with some composition to move the clock forward and fill in peripheral information mixed with narrative to depict a scene or an event. The main character is well balanced with secondary and minor characters, all of whom have been well defined with background to make them more real.
Thoroughly enjoyable, leaving the reader wanting more.
Wow
Things took a definite twist for the scary there at first. I thought I missed something between 19 and 20 so I went and reread the last chapter... Snowfall you are a true literature artist.
The answers to all of life's questions can be found in the face of a true friend
Bad surprises
Yeah, I had to check the chapter numbers, as sometimes I miss one anyway. The seeming discontinuity is understandable and right. The unexpected is just that, and replaying it in our heads doesn't give any more warning than the real thing did. The falling branch, or car arriving suddenly from the side, though the incident be written indelibly always plays the same, bang - and it's there.
Dawn seems to be postponing her reaction, there's just her front piloting calmly through the aftermath as usual. It's hard to see this continuing. It'll be harder to suffer along with her when this catches up.
Teri Ann
"Reach for the sun."
Top of the milk hole in one
Top of the milk hole in one nailed it .
You Got Me
With that jump in continuity. I was thinking "what have I missed", so I had to go back to the previous chapter and check. That was sneaky!
Still, our girl is OK (after a fashion) and the arseholes are not getting away with it. I can live with that.
Now for the religio-Nazis.
I think ...
... it was probably a crafty way of upping the reader count on chapter 19. I bet just about everyone flipped back one posting to see what they (didn't) miss last time. I suppose you can't blame a girl for trying :)
Great story, great chapter that shows in the number of reads (even without we who had to go back one!). Thanks a lot.
Robi
Oh?
Oh? You think that do you?
quidquid sum ego, et omnia mea semper; Ego me.
alecia Snowfall
It's just good story telling
It's just good story telling me thinks!
Thank-you Snowfall, this really is an enjoyable must read story.
Sophie
oooh
Snow is getting EVIL , putting a cliffhanger at the beginning , what a shock chapter but very nice,
The Family Daniels really do not know when to keep their mouths shut.
Thankfully Dawn wasn't that badly hurt but it could have been a lot worse. And She is further along in her journey to being complete.
I cannot wait to see what happens next week.
Seems like the church idiots are trying to up their game as well,going to be interesting to see what Shaw and Day have to say when the antics of the 2 idiots are shown.
Matt
Interesting turn of events
You bumped this story ahead in an unexpected way. The way you are moving your actors and actresses seemed to be hurried along as you work in your own time factor to get this chapter out. Excellent story telling even though. I'm positive all of your fans would be ready to tar and feather me if you took my advice and took more time to flesh out your characters.
always,
Barb
Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl
Cat - Bag - Out
I'm sure the whole school knows that Daniels put Don in the hospital. Everybody that listens to 87.1 knows that Dawn is in the hospital. I'm pretty sure that even a high school student can draw a line between the two events. Rumors travel fast in a high school and even if there is no hard proof when was proof needed for a good story? I expect the Daniels' attorney will use this to try and discredit Dawn. So I think it is time to start feeding some truth into the story, they need to get out in front of this. That way they can blunt the edge of the story.
Of course the Religious Reich will find out also and will attempt to use it against the station. Here again getting Dawn's story out first will take some of the wind out of the extortionist's sails.
"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin
how do we know that the radio
how do we know that the radio station announced she was in the hospital?
they could have just as easily said that she was taking a leave of absence.
We don't
But "Leave of Absence" is pretty weak. And Blake said the station's website is burning up with people being sharks grabbing for the latest info. ("I just updated the site, that you'll be back Monday night. People are all over it like sharks.") So I find it likely that they at least said she was sick. The fans just aren't going to be satisfied with an obvious CYA explanation, so Blake had to be throwing them scraps of something.
Besides, "Leave of Absence" sounds like she got canned and they just don't want to say so. I have actually heard that twice on area FM stations. In both cases they were trying to cover up personnel troubles. It could also be seen as conceding to the holy rollers' demands. Blake certainly doesn't want that rumor to make the rounds.
One point, most talent have a contract with a non-compete clause. Usually six months to a year before they can work on air at a competing station. One of our anchors jumped ship to move to a different station in our market. She was off the air for a year before she could work publicly. So if Lux jumped ship she would be off the air for awhile. That would just add fuel to the fire. "Where Is Lux?" would be a hot topic locally and online. Not the kind of publicity Blake wants.
Anyway, that's the way I see it.
"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin
Not Quite...
The students know that Lux isn't available, not Dawn. I don't see anyone at the school connecting a high school bully's male victim to a presumably adult female DJ, even if they did know that both were in the same hospital. (Which I don't think they did.)
Eric
Not Quite
They are aware that Lux is young by listening to what she says on her show. For the rest of it, this isn't a courtroom, rigorous proof isn't needed. I have been putting together information like this all my life, it is a handy ability to have. Good cops have it, so do good reporters. Call it intuition or whatever.
Besides, I have said several times that this is my opinion. What part of that do you and others have a problem with? I'm not* criticizing the story or the author, I'm exercising my right to have an opinion. I don't have any idea what is going to happen in the next chapters, neither do you. I'm making a semi-skilled guess and offering it up for others to see. You don't have to agree with me, you are free to hold whatever thoughts you like. That doesn't give you call to critique my opinion.
You know what? Screw it. If I have anything to say I'll send a PM to our authoress.
*Just realized I left out this very important word. Its lack totally changes the meaning of the sentence so I went ahead and corrected it, even at this late date.
"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin
Disturbing Thought
The officer asked if Casey knew about Dawn, as that would make this a hate crime.
It suddenly occurred to me that he very well could know. Angela the motormouth might have been indiscreet at the wrong place at the wrong time. This is bad
"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin
The Fact
that Casey was using anti-LBGT slurs during the attack is enough to charge with hate crime.
They didn't actually state a Christian name, which could be a red flag if the Daniels weren't sharing a half brain cell.
What goes around comes around
From the last chapter, it looked like Shaw's little band of zombies were going to be the ones hurting Dawn.
But no, we find out the same brain dead AH bully who's caused her problems was the one who put her into the hospital. And this time, getting expelled is out of the schools' hands.
When the earth was new, and only security cameras existed, things like what happened to Dawn were spread by word of mouth or seen by those around the incident.
Now that the earth has cooled, security cameras have evolved into every moron thinking what was done to Dawn needs put onto a smartphone or the Web. With the arrogant feeling they wouldn't be found out, they keep the video to laugh at later. But he who laughs last laughs best. And the DA is doing just that. He finally has something solid to nail the Daniels with.
Casey just didn't know when to put a sock in it. He just kept using that shovel to dig himself in deeper. School is over for Casey. Any future plans are in the hands of the DA and Court.
The Daniels strutted around thinking they were the cock of the walk, but their first night in jail proved just how wrong their thinking is. Casey learned what his close neighbors thought of his bullying kids at school. And his dad found out that their usual way of referring to those different than themselves, isn't appreciated. Wonder which will be the so rest in the morning? Or able to walk? About somebody took out this particular trash. And it shows that even those who beat down on the Daniels are behind bars, they still have a standard of conduct.
Poor Bret, the ignorant zombies make the first move in the battle, and when their victim doesn't act as they designed, have no idea what to do. Thank goodness this mastermind wasn't in charge of potty training.
Others have feelings too.
the younger daniels
can be charged with the attack being a hate crime from his words during the attack.
Dawn being out or not is not really a legal issue in this case, he was spewing anti-homosexual commentary while attacking her, therefore he believes she is gay and it was a hate crime.
Stupidity is a capital offense. A summary not indictable.
Maybe
I could call a white person a n***r and hit them, doesn't make it a hate crime. If Casey calls anybody he is pissed at a faggot and whatever, it can be argued that it isn't a hate crime, just a crude dude.
"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin