I woke to my alarm, my eyes bleary. As always, batting the thing across the room did nothing to it. No Grex this morning, which was probably a good thing. It was a Monday, and my day off.

There had been three more demon attacks in the week. Luckily or unluckily, I hadn't been on duty or close enough to respond to them, but there had been a few more casualties and the base was starting to take notice. The last one had been on Saturday during my training and had crippled half of two full teams before it'd been put down. We were actually getting reinforcements from other nearby cities, according to Karen.

I thought it was a bad idea, the nearer cities to us were in more danger than those farther away (assuming any demons around got away from us) and cars made the distances negligible, but I wasn't in charge. It was actually putting the lie to how well prepared we were for an invasion, in my opinion; we were just stretched too thin.

But at least today, I didn't have to worry about any of that. I didn't have to worry about anything at all, in fact. This was a mandated day off and I intended to be lazy about it and do nothing at all.

I kept getting called up on my other days off – I think the brass were experimenting with how long I could keep going. Finally Karen had put her foot down as my psychiatrist, and demanded two days... but I couldn't take time off while training so I had to suffer the weekend boot camp first.

So now I wasn't going to move... for a year. I had my laptop in my bedroom and it was connected; I could watch television through it and veg.

Sarex came through the doorway as if she belonged there, a tray of steaming coffee and covered platters of food on it.

“Good morning, Summoner Snow! I made breakfast for you, I hope you like it!”

Abnex's voice carried loudly through the apartment. “You nothing! I did it and you sat and watched!”

Who had summoned them and how had they gotten in? I certainly hadn't done it. If Grex had overstepped himself somehow....

There was a single blood red rose on the tray next to the covered main course. “Who summoned you here, and how did you get in?”

How did they get in without my knowledge, even? Not even Grex could really pull that off.

“Oh, we have our ways.”

Bullshit. “You'll have to do better than that. Tell me how you got in here, and why you came.”

I put all the force I could behind the command. It did not work as I expected: Sarex dropped to her knees while tossing the tray on the bed next to me, clapping her hands together and all but screeching out:

“Yes, my Lady, command me! I am yours, your will be done!”

I focused; I could freak out about her weird reaction later; I was in danger now. Though if I was in danger, Grex should already be here.

“Answer the question.”

She answered immediately, still on her knees (where I certainly hadn't ordered her to be) and smiling up at me beatifically. “We were summoned by a power greater than yours, with the purpose of hanging out.”

What? “Hanging out.”

“Yes.” She just kept smiling, as if that answer made sense.

“And only hanging out? No other agenda?”

“Well, getting to know you, my Lady. That is the only other agenda I am privy too.”

“Hanging out and getting to know me, and nothing else?”

She nodded.

I doubted she could lie under the influence of whatever it was I could do... but there were ways around it if so.

“You will not offer any violence of word or deed to anyone in this house unless I command otherwise, do you understand?”

For the purposes of commands or spells, an apartment was considered a house or dwelling. Grex had yet to tell my why that was, or how it mattered. Her smile slipped a little, but her reply was immediate and I felt the truth of it in my bones. “I understand, My lady.”

“Good. Now, what's in the breakfast?” I didn't let up an inch. Not one centimeter; she could still be trying to poison me.

“Instant oatmeal and fresh fruit. Toast with margarine on the second platter. Coffee from your canister in the kitchen mixed with hot water.”

I looked. Maple and brown sugar oatmeal and fresh cut strawberries greeted me. Toast was where she said it was. The coffee smelled right. “No... extras? No foreign contaminants or anything?”

“No, my Lady. Nothing that will cause you harm.” Good enough. I eased up and prepared to take a bite, but her growing look of anticipation killed the mood. I even liked maple and brown sugar – though I'd hardly consider instant a cooked meal by any stretch of the imagination. When I lowered the spoon her grin fell and lifting it made it stretch.

“Alright, why are you doing that?”

Again her reply was immediate, and this time laced with just enough confusion to make me doubt myself – which was probably the plan. “Doing what?”

I stayed calm; I was kind of proud of that. “Smiling like that when I lift the spoon. Did you do something to the spoon?”

Outrage; again the perfect amount. “What? No! I didn't touch the spoon at all. I smile at the anticipation of your enjoyment of my lovingly home-cooked meal!”

And the day took a turn for the really surreal, as a soup ladle I was sure I didn't own flew through the doorway and smacked Sarex in the head, taking her down instantly.

“YOU cooked!?! Why you little troll, you don't even know how to turn the oven on! Don't listen to her, my Lady, she is just trying to curry favor.”

That had to be Abnex. Sarex shot back, not even looking away and without losing her grin. “You didn't either! You just used that box thing with the chime!”

I was pretty sure she was talking about the microwave. It still didn't count as cooking to me. “Abnex get in here!”

He came but paused at the doorway. I could almost feel the effort it took him to resist, even though his head was turned. “Are you decent, my Lady?”

I was in my pajamas, so yes. “Sure, get in here.”

He appeared in front of me as if poured from a bottle rather than walk. “Is there anything in the food Sarex brought me that I should be aware of? Foreign contaminants, extras, curses, or anything else? Tell me truthfully.”

He knelt too under my influence, knuckling his forehead and refusing to look me in the eye. “No, my Lady. It is just human food, I assure you.”

I took a strawberry slice... and it tasted fine. Well, if by hand picked an hour ago after being kissed by the sun for a month was fine. It was amazing, so I nibbled on another while hunting my remote. Both the twins were still on their knees, waiting.

“You don't have to kneel or genuflect to me, or whatever you're doing.”

Abnex fielded that one while Sarex stayed silent – though she did turn her head enough to watch the television out of the corner of her eyes. “We know we don't.”

They still kept doing it. I thought for a moment and just gave up, changing the channel to the history channel; early morning was the only time they actually showed real history anymore, and I didn't want to miss it. I debated asking the next question. The really important one.

“What happens if I command you to tell me who sent you?”

Sarex looked away from the show long enough to answer. “Oh, we'll explode!” Her chipper voice and upbeat tone was more than a little at odds with the statement.

Walk softly, here... so very softly. “Why?”

Abnex looked up to answer. “Because the one who sent us is more powerful than you, and while he's not here he made us swear not to tell. So if you command us to tell you, and his command not to holds, we will be driven to either stay silent or explode under the force of your commands. I am sorry, my Lady, but you cannot get any answers from us; only friendly companionship.”

He had to be joking, but he didn't sound like it.

Of course, he'd already told me enough. Stronger than me meant a few mortals, and a whole lot of demons. The use of the word 'one' rather than 'he' 'she' or 'person' was also suggestive of a demon, but not a smoking gun, and I couldn't think of any demon who had a vested interest in my well-being or fostering some kind of relationship other than Grex... and if he had a problem with the former he'd already be here himself.

“Fine. Whatever. You can stay if you don't do anything stupid. I'm just going to lounge around today and be lazy. Do something to piss me off and I'll ship you back to Hell, understand?”

They both nodded. I settled back into bed and turned the television up. They sat cross-legged in the corner and watched with me. Sarex's little squeals of delight as the animals ate each other on the plains of Africa was a little disturbing, but not enough to call her on.

At some point in watching the discovery channel, I must have fallen asleep again.

My phone woke me, chiming an odd alarm I'd only heard once before, in training. The off duty alarm meaning a demon was on the loose. I looked around, groggily, to find out why my arms wouldn't move, to find that they were pinned by the twins, who had joined me in the bed and were even now looking around in confusion themselves.

It was most definitely not adorable in any way.

I freed my arm from Sarex (she was closest to my nightstand) and picked up my phone. Just as I managed that the alarm stopped, and it started ringing instead. I picked up.

“Hey Snow!”

“Hi Karen. What's going on?”

“Nothing, nothing. Just your standard run of the mill demon alert – again. Nothing for you to worry about and come in for. In fact, that's why I'm calling, to tell you your day off is still a go. So just sit back and relax, and don't worry. If you want to talk shop later I'll tell you all about it, okay?”

Well, that was more than a little off-putting. Sending some mixed signals there, Kare-bear. “Sure. Good luck.”

She hung up and I set my phone down; she had sounded a little nervous. I wonder if she was going to handle the alert herself? She had undoubtedly faced worse, no matter the demon. Well, I certainly wasn't worried for her, but maybe I could do something on my end, day off or not. After all, Grex wasn't here to stop me from questioning the twins.

“So, Abnex. Can you tell me what's going on in the city lately, with all the demons attacking?”

Abnex had no poker face at all unless he was feigning the nervousness. “Yes.”

So he could tell me but clearly wouldn't offer any information. “Then tell me, and speak truth. Why have the incidents of demon attacks and sightings gone up recently?”

Sarex answered sweetly; right, the twins tended to tag team responses. “Well, there is someone out there summoning demons to attack. There might be more than one someone, we don't know.”

Hm. “Is this the same person who summoned you to come to me today?”

Abnex and Sarex both shook their heads, but Abnex spoke the words. “No, that's a different someone. But other than that, the only thing we can tell you is the person who summoned us means you no harm at all.”

Oh, they could tell me more, but that what they already said was quite enough. A demon lord in all likelihood, or a summoner so strong they might as well be, had summoned them without a more permanent contract and told them to watch me. It almost had to be a demon lord, but which one? According to Grex they were all stronger than me – but one that wanted me protected?

“So can you tell me anything about this different someone?”

Abnex answered, formally. “We cannot. You are correct to assume we know more than we can say, but we can't help you.”

Not 'won't', but 'can't'. What was this, some kind of sick test? No, that was arrogance; I was kind of a big deal, but not that big. If anything I might be able to hold the demons off and slow their advance, in the way that the heavy hitters who came before me managed, but in the grand scheme of things I was nothing at all. It could be a test of the city's ADTF response, but if it was that it was a prelude to invasion.

Mexico wasn't that far away after all, and the base was a prime target. One good massed strike there could cripple America's war effort.

But while that seemed to make sense, it really didn't. The amount of force applied to crack the base, or even hurt it significantly should be well over what any collection of rumored rogue summoners could pull – even the rumored 4th Reich Nazi summoners rumored to be in South America. The demons themselves could probably do it, if a lord were summoning more demons in, but even with a dozen lords working nonstop such an effort would take years, and there was no way an army that size would remain undetected.

Instead, the sniping and undoubtedly dangerous single attacks stepped up; brutal and stretching us thin but ultimately not dangerous enough. Maybe the real target was in another city, one sending us reinforcements? It was possible, but reinforcements had been sent from the base and Phoenix already, and both still had more than enough to deal with a guerrilla army. The other cities were fine.

Maybe the target wasn't a big population center at all? I snagged my phone and surfed for news about small towns. The ADTF made regular patrols into low population areas, but anyone living in the boonies was always at risk; we simply didn't have enough resources or people to station full teams everywhere, America was too big. However most of the time, demons left small population centers alone; it wasn't perfect, but there were towns that had actually seen demons pass through and not lose anyone to them, while the city down the road was not so lucky.

Nothing at all, no news about demons loose in small town America, or even lone people found mauled in the countryside. Not so much as a hiker mauled by the resurgent great cats in the area; nothing at all that could even be mistaken for a demon attack.

I looked up to find Abnex staring at my phone over one shoulder, and Sarex staring at my phone from my other. I blinked.

Sarex grinned. “A little kinky for a human, My Lady, looking up such things in your off hours. I approve!”

Abnex blinked, then reached over and slapped his sister on the back of her head. “Idiot. She's clearly working in her off hours.”

Sarex rubbed the back of her head, scowling. “But why would she do a thing like that? Work sucks! Isn't this her first day off in two weeks?”

Abnex replied: “More than two weeks, actually. Maybe our Lady is a masochist?”

When Sarex exclaimed “Oooh, fun!” I decided to weigh back in myself.

“I'm not a masochist, and I'm done working on my off hours. It's just, what you're telling me makes little sense. There is nothing here for demons to be warring over.”

They shared a glance, and this time, I couldn't read their expressions. “On that, we agree. Keep at it, my Lady, and you'll figure it out.”

They looked at each other, surprised; they had both spoke, saying the same thing in chorus. Evidently, it surprised them as much as me, which meant there was only one conclusion to come to; demons were weird, even kid ones.

Whatever, I wouldn't suddenly figure out the master plan of the evil end boss this way.

I got up and the twins went flying, spilling over the side of the bed even though they hadn't been that close and there was no way I could have bumped into either; they both rolled end over end until they hit the opposite walls.

Whatever.

I walked into the living room, still not dressed, and turned on the television there. If the twins wanted to watch more discovery it was an option for them, but I was going to use my new toys that were still basically brand new; there was a new third person giant robot adventure game I wanted to try.

None of my friends were online. Not that I had many in the first place, only five, but it was a little disappointing. Of course, it was still early on a Monday, so my favorite goth nerd was probably working. The game had downloaded and patched during the night (the wonders of electronic purchasing and timed content releases) and was ready to go.

I refilled my coffee and got to work destroying enemy robot pilots for the glory of the Ktar collective; being evil and conquering all I surveyed was oddly satisfying – at least in a game.

Before long my audience started offering hints.

“No, left, left!”

“Use your jump jets and then land on them!”

“Look out! Enemy to your rear!”

“Why didn't you paint your robot pink?”

I paused and set the controller down, turning to Sarex. “Alright, first off, how do you even know what a robot is, or what I'm doing?”

“Abnex replied, of course. “We have spent some time on Earth in the recent past and have watched television before. Including cartoons and science fiction.”

“Yeah!” Sarex added. “We aren't like that old guy Grex you hang out with, we see more action.”

Well, that made sense, actually. The more powerful you were the harder it was to summon you. If you were a demon, of course. I looked up to find it was now early afternoon; almost two-o-clock, and I was hungry again. Where had the time gone?

I quit the game and stood up. The twins followed suit, showing none of the leg stiffness I would have if I'd sat on the floor like they had.

The kitchen was as clean as I left it. I was struck by a sudden suspicion.

“You two didn't do anything to the contents of my fridge, did you?”

Sarex replied, sounding indignant. “Neither of us have done anything to the contents of your refrigerator.”

“We also haven't done anything detrimental to the rest of your food stores, aside from use some of it to make breakfast. We won't harm you, my Lady.” Abnex added.

“Or if we do, it will be in a perfectly obvious way that you'll see coming!” Sarex finished, brandishing her huge scythe from nowhere.

Her grin was a little unhinged but didn't look particularly malicious. She was trying to put me at ease, and I didn't know what was worse; that I didn't feel threatened (not here, in my home, with my defenses) or that I understood demon well enough to know she wasn't threatening me.

“Thanks for that.”

Let's see, hamburger, bought a day ago, frozen french fries, my fryer and some oil, some tomatoes garlic and onion, lettuce... it was all here, and still very fresh. I normally didn't have time to cook, or even inclination, but burgers and fries was easy, and I had the time today. It shouldn't be any more stressful than my day job.

Except somehow it was.

“What are you doing now?”

“Why is it bubbling like that?”

“How do you know when it's done?”

The twins, it seems, did not cook and were full of questions. I did my best to answer them, but they had so many and almost all of them were stupid. Why wouldn't you mix the onions and garlic into the meat? It was better for the taste than just sprinkling it on top! Lettuce was on top of the tomato to contrast the tastes, and the heat and chill of the burger when it was combined. Seriously they sounded like they were four-year-olds that they couldn't possibly be.

But just as I was about to command them to just go away, go anywhere at all, just for some blessed silence – the burgers and fries were done. I set three plates, each with a burger and a handful of fries down.

The twins looked at theirs, almost as if they didn't know what to do with them. I suspected I was being played somehow. But when I picked up my burger (with both hands) they followed suit. I took a bite, and they both did too, in perfect sync. And both their faces lit up, slowly, also in perfect sync.

“This is delicious.”

“This is amazing! Roast cow never tasted so well before!”

“It's better than pork.”

They shared a look. I wasn't sure what it meant, but I was pretty sure I didn't want to ask. Then they looked at the other burgers I'd made, to finish up before the meat went bad.

“Oh, hell no. One each, and one each only, you gluttons.” Where would they even pack it, anyway? The twins were tiny.

“Aww, but they're so good!”

“Please? Or just some more of the fries?”

Well, the fries would suck if reheated. “Alright, if you want, you can have more fries.”

I felt like I was babysitting them, and not the other way around, despite what they said this morning. I washed the dishes while the twins watched - apparently this was a new thing to them too – and started up another game; this time an RPG.

I was just entering the lower level of the Carolis Castle, on the hunt for rats and slimes, when Karen opened my door. She looked like hell.

Her robe was singed and torn, she stumbled rather than walked in and sat heavily on the couch with a small poof of dust and dirt. If she noticed the twins right next to her, she didn't say anything. Not to mention the stink. She stank, and badly.

“What happened to you?”

“Demons. I hate 'em.” was her reply.

“Yes... but what happened to you?”

She sighed. “Alright fine. So I got pulled in alongside one of the teams from Phoenix since they needed a local guide and summoner. So we get a call, a demon sighting, to 118th Chester way.”

That was the end of Chester way... the old sewage treatment plant for the south side of town. A low priority target if ever I heard one, even if there were some workers there during the day.

“Alright, go on...”

“So, the target was an imp, a pretty strong one. It could hide from Thor, and it led us through the sewer plant into the storm drains.”

The storm drains here were little used; mainly there for our monsoon-like rainy season. This was a desert, after all.

“From there, the imp led us into the sewers. Actually etched arrows into the halls and everything. Taunting us. I sent Thor ahead.”

Well, the sewers explained more. “Go on.”

“Well, the imp circled around on us while Thor was away flushing him out. We had to run in to try and link up with him as I called him back.”

I didn't react to the poor word choice – it couldn't have been deliberate – but the twins snickered. She didn't act like like she heard them at all.

“I ended up falling on... things... twice. In the sewer.”

Well that would explain it. “Did you at least get the imp?”

She nodded, and her eyes focused on my television. “Is that the new Legends of Infinity?”

It didn't surprise me that she knew what it was. “Yes. Want to play?”

She grinned and held out her hand for the controller. “Sure!”

“Not so fast. Go take a shower first; you reek. Only then can you play.”

“Alright, don't mind if I do!” She got up... and headed to my bathroom.

“I meant your own shower, in your own apartment!”

She already had the shower on, and probably her clothes off. “Yeah, yeah, no time for that. There's skeletons and dark wizards to kill!”

I turned to the twins. “Is there some way you two have to take care of the mess and the smell?”

“Sure!” Sarex said, brightly. Then she whipped out her giant scythe. I just managed to get a hand on her arm.

“No! Some way that doesn't involve murder or bodily harm to anyone. Just a way to clean.”

Abnex assumed a thoughtful pose while Sarex pouted. “Well, we can actually revert the time on an object, with your permission, to a time before it was dirty... like the couch and the carpets. As for the smell, well that's easier.”

I looked at my poor couch. It would probably have to be steam cleaned or something as is, and I didn't know if you could even do that to it.

“How long would it take, and how would you do it?”

Sarex pointed to one of the circles on the walls, one that Grex had wanted me to inscribe. She still hadn't put her scythe away. “We'd use that, it's made for the purpose. Well, not exactly, but it'd work. A slight amount of power fixed on it and your couch rewinds an hour without moving anywhere or shredding space-time. Same with the carpets, it's just a matter of fine tuning. We can do it to anything in the apartment, actually, with your permission.”

“You have my permission, for the carpets and couch; nothing else.”

The last thing I needed was for Karen to be reverted to a four-year-old or something. Four-year-old Karen would suck so bad, for everyone.

“Understood.” Came the chorused reply, as Sarex re-positioned herself on the couch and Abnex took a hovering position above the carpet. The circle on the wall flared, then began glowing with a steady light, and I could see the dirt and grime being lifted off the surfaces to suspend itself in the air a moment before vanishing. Where it went, I didn't care, but it probably found itself back in the sewer – or back on Karen's clothes.

Less than a minute later both twins were panting as if they had run a marathon, but gazing at me with identical looks of... apprehension? I looked at their work; the couch and carpet looked like they had this morning. Come to think of it, this was how Grex had cleaned the apartment the first time, wasn't it? Though he had kept the dirt somehow, and made a ball of it....

“Good job, you two.”

They both beamed at me, showing their small shark teeth.

Karen came out a bit later, a towel wrapped around her, and made her way directly into my bedroom. On her way to steal clothes, no doubt.

“Abnex, could you please clean up the mess Karen left in the bathroom? Sarex, could you make a fresh pot of coffee please?”

They looked at each other, then back to me. “Could we switch jobs?” Sarex asked. “I don't know how to cook things – not really, and Abnex already worked out how to make coffee the human way.”

There was a non-human way to make coffee? “Sure, but don't destroy anything Sarex, Just clean it up. Put the dirty clothes in a trash bag or something, mop up any water, that sort of thing.”

She nodded violently as Abnex answered. “Sure, my Lady.”

They split up; Abnex was back before Karen waltzed in with her pilfered goods (a t-shirt and jeans, both of which were baggy on in all the wrong places, at least from her perspective) but Sarex was still in the bathroom. And cursing, loudly. Karen raised an eyebrow.

“So you have attendants now?”

“Someone sent them to watch over me... or to watch me. I'm not sure who or how.”

The building was supposed to be well warded after all, and it was. Even if it wasn't I'd added my own wards besides, and I was getting better. So whoever sent them knew the keys to the kingdom, or sent the twins because they knew how to disable my security or both. Given how short the list already was, I was betting both.

Karen picked up on that immediately. “Have you asked?”

I gave her The Look and she raised her hands in mock surrender. “Alright, alright, I get it. Did you ask Grex?”

“Nah, I'm giving him a day off. They can't hurt me, so I'm not too worried.” Right away I realized I'd screwed up. Karen didn't know about my ability to command other demons, no one did, and I'd just thoughtlessly blurted it out.

“Why can't they hurt you?” Karen asked, picking up on it immediately, of course.

I thought fast. “The wards I have placed on the walls and behind the artwork?”

Karen glanced at them and shrugged. “That works I guess if you aren't planning on going anywhere.”

Whew. “Well I wasn't, and I could have banished them at any time before leaving. I still can.”

Karen nodded, watching Abnex come back with coffee. She took her cup when offered (second, Abnex made a point of handing mine over first). “Still, that's really odd. Someone who isn't Grex did it?”

“Yeah. I think it might have been the General.” It wasn't a lie, he was on that short list I'd been making, and he did live right upstairs. At least when he lived off the base at all.

I took a drink of my coffee, and Karen waited just long enough for it to be obvious she was waiting for me to keel over before doing the same. I waved the go ahead at her. “I already checked, they can't do anything to harm me or anyone else unless I tell them to.”

She sipped then, gratefully, before flopping back on the couch and reaching across me. “Alright, let's see that controller. I want to kill things that don't really exist and forget.”

I let her snag it... then took a few blackmail shots with my phone as she set up her character. Sure, I missed the really juicy ones of her filthy, but chances were the team had those. What they wouldn't have was her swimming in my clothes, looking underdeveloped, and I could trade mine for the others. Maybe I'd even make it my screensaver.

But now it was time to get serious again. “So, anyone sidelined I need to know about?”

Karen waved that off, already starting the dungeon crawl. She didn't even bother to pick up quests. “Nah. Some superficial stuff, but nothing people can't walk off. You seem to get the worst of it when you go out, oddly enough.”

“Maybe some demon lord has it in for me, or something. Binding Grex did take a rather strong player off the field.” So she'd noticed too, huh? That meant the higher ups had, all the way up the chain; Karen was their mouthpiece.

“Yeah maybe, but then again, there has to be more to it. My current theory is that it has something to do with the nature of your contract. After all, you don't seem to feel the pressure of dealing with demonic forces the way the rest of us do, and maybe that scares them. Well, that combined with the power you tap into.”

We could hope. “As good a guess as any other.”

I watched and sipped as Karen fumbled around, growling and swearing occasionally at pixel skeletons and zombies. Abnex had just refilled both our cups when a phone rang. I checked to make sure; it wasn't mine. Even though the “We dun need no stinking badges” ringtone was a far cry from my own phones generic one.

With another growl, Karen dropped the controller and reached in her borrowed jeans.

“What's up chief?”

She listened carefully. Then cussed for at least half a minute. “Got to go. Somehow a demon wound up dead at the subdivision you were at a few days ago. The boss is calling be back in.”

I stood up. “I can go too....”

She actually made an X with her arms and buzzed at me. “Bzzzt! Nope, you're still off duty. Relax, we got this. I got this; at least it isn't a sewer this time.”

“You hope.” I grinned and threw a spare robe at her, readying my phone again.

“Yeah, fuck you too Snow.” she smiled, threw it over her head (giving me several good shots) and stormed out.

….What was even going on in this city?!?