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This story is being rewritten.
A new chapter will be published every 2 weeks starting on 19/07/2022.
When I finally reach this chapter again, I'll replace this message.
Comments
"I'd take lawful stupid"
giggles.
Neutral not-quite-smart
I had the same thought!
Thank you both
It's strange having a bad guy who isn't pure bloody evil.
lawful stupid
I don't remember having that alignment option when I played Dungeons and Dragons.
LG does to mean S
I still have a button kicking around someplace that I picked up at a con decades ago that reads: "Lawful Good does to mean Stupid."
Yours,
John Robert Mead
trickirey
Our little bad/good girl is playing the hero side to get the idol
More like
"I'm going to die if I don't get help. Oh look help has arrived. GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!"
After Micheal changed her, she realizes what she needs to do to survive, 'lie, cheat, bluff, outthink, outfight, and befriend' and she'll do it all before I'm done with her.
Same kind of character as
Same kind of character as from Maggie Finson's "A Walk In The Dark". basically
"He means well, but he's not all there"
I'll get a life when it's proven and substantiated to be better than what I'm currently experiencing.
Never read it
But yeah, he's the overeager hero who rushes in and doesn't think to look around when he could be bashing things and getting the girl.
Actually, more like
IMP and her foil CHICKENHAWK!
Imp is much cooler than Petra
Imp usually has a plan, Petra makes it up as she goes along.
And Chickenhawk isn't really dumb, a bit too rigid yes, dumb no. Reginald is much more like Skyhawk from Boston.
Oh Dear!
Laughing so hard it hurts! How else can Petra's life go batty?
Wait and see
I'm actually a little disappointed in this chapter, but I needed to get a jumpstart on the story again after the long break. The next one is going to be a lot better.
Constructive criticism
This chapter is okay, it is just missing one critical item...
I recommend you rewrite this short chapter and add a running commentary from the ("all seeing") instructors. And IF you are really good,
You will include a (running) betting pool on Petra's survival/death and the winner between good and evil... heck, I'm not a writer, and even I could write an entire chapter just on the betting pool on this race ( I always go to opening day at Santa Anita on December 26th).
Maybe
The instructors will give a critique at the end, and I will have them say a few things to each other in private, but I kind of want them to be the distant puppet masters making everyone dance to their tunes. Having them the main focus of a chapter while interesting takes away from that image. But I'll definitely give it some thought over the next week.
It's funny...
I was just thinking of this story last night and wondering what had happened to it... and bam! here it is.
Glad to be back
I was dealing with illness since October. Nothing life threatening, just had trouble breathing. So between that and a few special projects, a lot of things had to go on the sidelines.
GREAT
It was short but it was nice to see it again
And just when she thought she
And just when she thought she had finally gotten some sort of 'handle' on the school and how it works, this happens. I do hope she will be able to work herself out of all this as time marches on.
If Reginald hadn't come along
she'd have eventually made it out. Through the sewers in itty bitty little pieces, but that's still technically getting out.
The school likes throwing curveballs at people, especially ones who have caught their eye, and unfortunately Petra has caught their eye. She's the prize pupil/cats toy/punching bag this term.
I assume she is being
I assume she is being observed and her actions taken down for reactive measures at some point so I hope she comes out of this on top again.
And the way the supposed hero is acting I think she might have little qualms eventually about using him and then beating him to the golden idol. Just because you are on the side of good doesn't entirely mean you are a good person, and she proves the same is true of the evil side.
I'm told STFU more times in a day than most people get told in a lifetime
Well she is being graded
It's a pass or die test, but the instructors will want to see what her strong points are, weaknesses and things like that to know what to focus on. There will be a critique at the end.
Petra has almost no qualms about using the hero right now, she's just not going to bean him over the head unless she has to and thats more for pragmatic reasons. She is very survival oriented, and he's her ticket to survival. In terms of scale, this is a very grey story, no ultimate good or bad just people doing what they think is right.
Eh - I see this as being
Eh - I see this as being fodder for sort of a classic move. The 'Hero' will end up at the idol to 'protect' it from the 'Villain'. If he hears anything, he'll put his back to the idol and push Petra behind him to be 'protected' from what might be coming. She then shrugs, picks up the Idol, and wins. (Heck, he might even push it into her arms, saying "Keep this safe, while I protect you!" )
It requires no enormous intelligence, no strange plans, no beating anyone up, and leaves the Hero alive, and wondering what the heck happened. "The Villain must have turned invisible, and kidnapped the Poor Maiden as well as stolen the Idol! There's no other explanation!"
Best of all? It's going to happen as long as Petra doesn't do much of anything. She's already learned the benefit of keeping her mouth shut, at least until something steps on her toes. This does NOT mean there won't be danger, or problems keeping him distracted, etc. It just means that she just has to make sure she doesn't say anything about the school, and keep him between herself and as much danger as possible.
I'll get a life when it's proven and substantiated to be better than what I'm currently experiencing.
It won't be that easy, and we
It won't be that easy, and we're going to see Reginald many times in the future. It may look easy now but oh boy I have so many fun ideas for both of them.
I didn't say that keeping him
I didn't say that keeping him between her and danger would be easy - just that the end result would be classically easy. She's going to have to keep coming up with simpering excuses that he'll buy.
I'll get a life when it's proven and substantiated to be better than what I'm currently experiencing.
Ok, I misunderstood.
Ok, I misunderstood.
Depending on how things go we'll see the completion of this adventure by the end of the week.
Beer and Pretzils
You know, after a second read, this chapter is A-OK. All it needs is an ample supply of beer and Pretzils.
I have been a lifelong gamer. Back when I was in college, I found out that "Beer and Pretzil" games were very popular and you could always find enough eager opponents! I remember one time when we were playing a rather boisterous game of NUCLEAR WAR when a "long haired Hippie" type walked up and asked what we were playing. I started to explain the game to him. When I started to describe the "Super Germ" card (which had just been played by another player), he walked away shaking his head and saying (very loudly) " YOU PEOPLE ARE REALLY SICK!" Everyone at the table immediately cracked up. The "Super Germ" card immediately kills 25 million people!
True
Thinking about it, this entire story is a beer and pretzil tale.
I played a few of those games back in university, and turned even a few usually serious games like Mage the Awakening into beer and pretzel games when we felt like it.
Never had anyone cal us sick though. That must have been awesome.
Re: TRUE
You had to be there to appreciate the irony of the situation. This was in the early 1970's. The Vietnam war was still going on, but the American involvement was beginning to wind down. The Cold War was still an ongoing "affair" and to frightened people (without access to classified information) it looked like the Soviet Union was winning! Everyone sitting at that table had been taught in grade school to "duck and cover" when the alarms went off...
I recall getting one or two
I recall getting one or two lessons on the duck and cover. But it was right in the early 1980's just when things were heating up again, and it might possibly have just been the individual teacher doing it. When I told my parents about it, my dad laughed and said that it should be 'duck, cover and kiss your ass goodbye'.
In the fall of 1962 I was in
In the fall of 1962 I was in 2nd grade.
One day they sent a note home. It was for someone to be home the next day to verify when we got home. that next day we got sent home early with instructions that it was very important that we not dawdle and go *straight* home.
Parents noted when we got home and sent the form back with us the next day.
Why? It was all to figure out which kids would get sent home and which would have to shelter at the school in case of a nuclear attack.
Given that there was a SAC base 20 miles out of town, this was not such a remote possibility.
And this *was* the fall of 62. Can you say "Cuban Missile Crisis"?
Brooke brooke at shadowgard dot com
http://brooke.shadowgard.com/
Girls will be boys, and boys will be girls
It's a mixed up, muddled up, shook up world
"Lola", the Kinks
Be Prepared
Forget nightgowns. I'd sleep in street clothes with a dagger strapped to each thigh. Dang.
I'm happy to see this continued. Please take care of yourself and keep up the good work.
Thanks and kudos (number 73).
- Terry
Let your guard down
and you end up stuck in a dungeon about to get eaten.
I'll try to keep healthy. Not being able to breathe sucks.
For Petra...
This time appearing in a night gown was a good thing. The 'hero' has taken her for a damsel in distress. This gives her much needed protection from any other monsters in the labyrinth. That it may enable her to 'win' the scenario is not without an upside as well. Continuing to breathe is generally necessary to continuing to go to school and to living!
However she might start looking into reinforced nightwear as well as some things like very sharp hair pins that she uses to put her hair up!
She just might do that.
She just might do that. Having a couple of weapons strapped to her body at all times would probably help to.
Hair pins
correctly wielded a well sharpened hairpin can certainly double as a dagger. Not to cut with but certainly for stabbing. Putting out an enemy's eye or even killing him when he failed to recognize you have a weapon until you are completely inside his normally defended space is not without merit!
True
But from Petra's perspective he wouldn't think of them as weapons, and he would need to learn how to do something more then just comb his hair so it doesn't tangle too badly.
However you have given me a good idea. Thanks
A friend has some "hair
A friend has some "hair sticks" (the things like overgrown chopsticks that you use to hold a "knot" in your hair at the back of your head) That are a bit thicker than normal and twice as wide as normal.
They're actually sheathed knives. about a 5" blade with an equally long grip. Very sharp.
Brooke brooke at shadowgard dot com
http://brooke.shadowgard.com/
Girls will be boys, and boys will be girls
It's a mixed up, muddled up, shook up world
"Lola", the Kinks
you may be looking for the term SHIV...
From Wiki; Shiv (possibly from the Romani word chivomengro, "knife"[1]), also chiv, is a slang term for any sharp or pointed implement used as a knife-like weapon. The Oxford English Dictionary suggests shive, a razor, documented in 1915, as the root word.[2] In the 1920s, "shiv" was also a common slang term for a bladed weapon, mostly a knife.[3]...
Tanya Allen used the term in "The Candy Cane Club"
Yeah, a hairpin is an ornate
Yeah, a hairpin is an ornate useful shiv. But I don't think I'll be using prison slang in the story, it just seems out of place.
it's a word that pre dates its use in prisons
One of the dictionaries suggests the name has its roots in latin.
As the author, you choose what terminology to use. You stated that the modern usage has a negative conotation which you wish to avoid.
It seems to me that you made a wise decision.
Thanks
It's older than prison slang. I know I've heard it a few times in history books, but to 90% or more of potential readers, it's prison slang. And I don't really see a need for it here. While a character will now have the hairpins of stabbing, she's going to be the type where elegence and refinement is called for, and shiv definitely doesn't have it.
Equipped:
Equipped:
Nightgown of Innocence (-1 str, +4 cha)
Hatpins of Stabbing (+3 str)
Slippers of Slip Sliding Away (+1 stealth)
I'll get a life when it's proven and substantiated to be better than what I'm currently experiencing.
nice
very nice to see another chapter of this story. hmmm I wonder did a instructor made sure that the letter was there just before Petra was teleported/summoned . are they hedging their bet and trying to kill her off early, will it start a feud between the instructors about seeing how long Petra can survive. And if She does survive this challenge will there be food for Her or are they still saying theres none for her.
looking forwards to more .
Matt
When Petra recieved the
When Petra recieved the message will be explained later. And so will everything else eventually.
This day couldn't get much worse!
and that was a very good way to call Murphy.
Glad you're felling better and thanks for the offering.
Hugs tmf
I can't let Petra get bored,
I can't let Petra get bored, so Murphy is always popping up. Just not necessarily for Petra all the time.
" This just screams for a naming contest"
The title was originally going to be "After Action Report", but I was laughing too hard to complete "Petra the..." Sorry for the digression, I was about to comment:
Petra is going to do really well in her subterfuge class:
"My parents will give you LOTS of food..."
Just before they touch the golden alter, in order to continue her string of boy stomping, Petra absolutely has to bop "Reggie the Bare" (knocking him out, stripping him of his sword, armor, and clothes before tying him up and "leaving him at the alter") before touching the alter and sending them both to their respective schools.
After this test, poor Petra will be the most talked about student at Doom Valley. In three days, she has killed one boy, beat two boys senseless, knocked out and stripped the famous School of Righteousness Hero "Reggie the Bare"!
Most of the freshmen (boys and girls) will be terrified of the poor girl. The first day "Bullies" will regard her with caution as she must be a very dangerous rival. Blood Wing will definitely try to recruit the infamous "Petra the (??? - this just screams for a naming contest!!!)".
Tha would be rather nasty of
Tha would be rather nasty of Petra.
And she didn't kill the one boy, the monsters under the stairs did. She just happened to be standing beside him.
But yes, with the teachers taking a liking (if you can call seeing how much crap they can shove at her to see if she comes out stronger or breaks, liking), beating up a boy who had already mind controlled several people. Made a profit from the first test, is friends and roommates with the daughter of an emperor, and surviving this test with only a nightgown, she's going to get a name for herself.
Poor, poor bastard.
"...From a certain point of view..." - Obi Wan Kenobi
Actually, Petra yelled He's a boy, which prompted the tentacles into action.
Witnessed this freshmen girls did.
"Killed the boy Petra did" - Freshman girl
Awwwww! You can't pass up leaving "Reggie the Bare" naked, tied up, and "left at the alter". You could do a chapter on what happens when "Reggie the Bare" returns to his school and tells his classmates about the pretty damsel in distress snatched away from the brave Reginald by the fiendish diabolical (and unknown) Doom Valley Villain.
How about "Petra the Bold".
Naw, already been done.
"Petra the Boy Stomper".
Could be a contender.
"Petra the Nutcracker".
She did repeatedly knee Michael. However, it would be painful and ineffective to knee a boy in armor. On the other hand, the movie version of CAT IN THE HAT was on last weekend. There was the piñata scene. I suppose Petra could swing the club trying to hit him in the head and OOPS!
"Petra the Sly".
She did con the Goblins and despite being a girl for only a couple of days, with one sentence, she had that boy ready to march into hell to save her.
"Petra the Hungry".
I'll have to think about that one.
"Petra the Boy Hater".
No way, she's goona grow up to be a real "Mankiller".
I can see This is going to take a while..
With the idiot, she hissed
With the idiot, she hissed that he was a boy in surprise, and the monsters were going to eat him anyways. There might be a few rumours, but that's it.
And just wait, they're going to have to deal with girls very soon. The bullies are spending the day getting the pecking order sorted out, then they're going to start pushing on the other girls. I'm not just abusing the boys here.
My votes for the name contest are Petra the...
Lost? Nah that doesn't work.
Manipulator? Possible but she will hope that it doesn't get known for a while.
Invisible? She hopes the teachers will over look her, but that isn't apt to happen so being invisible is not good....
Misunderstood? That's true, but what a jawbreaker!
I guess I'll have to work some more on thinking about a name for our anti-heroine....
Petra the Unexpected.
Petra the Unexpected.
The Lucky Fool.
Machiavelli
Petra the seductress
Murphy's Bitch
The Chew Toy
Petra the
Butt monkey
Tink and Mouser
What's Tink and Mouser doing these days?
They're busy with other stuff
They're busy with other stuff right now. But you'll see more of them in a week or two.
Glad to see you feeling
Glad to see you feeling better and continuing this story. Always fun to read the story of an underdog turning things around, even if just bit by bit. Lawful stupid, hhm. He sounds more like Lawful Naïve if he really believes everything he is saying. Seeing things in nothing but black and white with no shades of gray.
Thanks
Yeah, Reginald isn't stupid just very narrow minded. We're definitely going to see more of him as time goes on.
Did you read Maggie Finson's
Did you read Maggie Finson's A Walk in the Dark yet? Might give you ideas.
Previous one - hatpins. Up through the 30's, girls were taught about their hatpins being weapons in case of rape threats, etc. They weren't like most people think. They were six to eight inches of high carbon steel, about as third as thick as a knitting needle, with a big head on them (to keep them from sliding through). You could use them as nails, that's how tough they could be. They had to be able to spear through heavy felt or straw, then into the hair underneath, to keep a hat from flying away or shifting. The large head was often jewelled or enamelled.
Now, I can see her sleeping with reinforced undergarments, if she can afford them. Not fully clothed, however. Maybe with a poniard under her pillow. wearing weapons to bed is just too uncomfortable and dangerous.
I'll get a life when it's proven and substantiated to be better than what I'm currently experiencing.
With Christmas and everything
With Christmas and everything else haven't had a chance to catch my breath much less read something.
And yeah I know how nasty those pins can be. And I've got some nasty ideas about them now to.
But for Petra using them, she just thinks hair gets in the way, and will be happy to put it in a ponytail. It will take a bit of time for her to think it could be useful for something or hiding an item.
Once she gets back to school she will be going on a shopping trip.
All she has to do is learn
All she has to do is learn that a braid lasts longer, and is more controllable. You can then stick something down the middle of the braid.
I'll get a life when it's proven and substantiated to be better than what I'm currently experiencing.
I have plans for her hair
I have plans for her hair that are very appropriate and will confuse the teacher doing it. Just wait for the first day of class.
From this Smithsonian -
From this Smithsonian -
http://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/hatpin-peril-terrorize...
I'll get a life when it's proven and substantiated to be better than what I'm currently experiencing.
Many years ago when there
Many years ago when there were a string of burglaries in his neighborhood (the burglar was burgling homes while the occupants were asleep!), a male friend with more macho than sense decided to take some precautions.
He started sleeping with a knife and pistol under his pillow. He practiced throwing the knife (to distract the burglar) and (dry) firing the gun.
He got it down pretty good.
Then one knight he awoke as the burglar opened the door to his room.
He grabbed, threw. Grabbed again. and found himself trying to shhot the burglar with a knife.
Yup, he'd thrown the gun...
The burglar sensibly ran like hell.
Likely his thoughts (if any) after having a gun thrown at him were that the guy was throwing it at him to make it a "clean" shoot when the homeowner shot him (a well known at the time tactic by some cops)
Brooke brooke at shadowgard dot com
http://brooke.shadowgard.com/
Girls will be boys, and boys will be girls
It's a mixed up, muddled up, shook up world
"Lola", the Kinks
Thank you, you just made me
Thank you, you just made me laugh so hard I'm coughing.
Tex (yes, that's what
Tex (yes, that's what everybody knew him as) got laughed at by his friends for a *long* time after that incident.
Brooke brooke at shadowgard dot com
http://brooke.shadowgard.com/
Girls will be boys, and boys will be girls
It's a mixed up, muddled up, shook up world
"Lola", the Kinks
Y'know, it was stupid - but
Y'know, it was stupid - but it worked.
I'll get a life when it's proven and substantiated to be better than what I'm currently experiencing.
Sleeping with your weapons
We had to do that when in the field. One must keep one's M-16 secure. Cue the usual jokes about what to do with the magazine slot. Or, if you're not well endowed, that quarter inch hole in the end of the barrel.
Ouch.
Ouch.
Fire to stew pot
Petra just doesn't get a break. No toilet, no change of clothes, no breakfast, and she almost becomes dinner for others.
Could all of this be the instructors' way of teaching Petra, and other students, to be ready at all times for anything?
It will be interesting to see how she gets out of this mess. And find out how her family takes the news that they now have a daughter.
Others have feelings too.
Actually she did go to the
Actually she did go to the bathroom. If she'd slept for another ten minutes or so, she'd have ended up there lying on her back half asleep but she was able to brush her teeth, and do a few essentials.
Talking to her family about her first few days is going to be interesting. But that will have to wait at least one more chapter. Same with what the teachers were planning.
This is such a good read, too
This is such a good read, too bad it is dead :(
Doom valley
Omg we need more
hugs :)
Michelle SidheElf Amaianna
Sad face :(
yet another fun and interesting story abandoned such a shame
Reginald
I wonder if he is really like that or is it an act.
hugs :)
Michelle SidheElf Amaianna
He's like that.
He's like that.
His parents are much nicer than he is, but he's taken a "you're good or you're evil, there is no in between" approach, and he's arrogant as hell thanks to his family.
He's going to be fun to write.
Fun at the dance.
I think this is going to be a fun on going pairing. The dance will be interesting.
Kinda like...
various of the Hero Track kids at Whateley, eh?
It's a trope, that's for sure.
The Left Path or the Right Path, there is no Middle Path... Black or White, no shades of Grey, let alone Colours!
Yours,
John Robert Mead
The kiss of death:
"This day couldn't get much worse." Never say that, it can always get worse!
No, no, the words were chosen
No, no, the words were chosen with care. "Much worse", not "any worse". That's an acknowledgement that something or someone can always find a lower path. It could get better - it just generally doesn't.
I'll get a life when it's proven and substantiated to be better than what I'm currently experiencing.