by:

In the not too distant future, evolution has taken humanity down a different path. In a society where gender is controlled with numbers, one young man finds that being evolved might not be such a good thing.

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Author's Note: I bet everyone thought I fell off the face of the Earth but I'm still here and still kicking. It took me a while to get things going again with this story sadly. I wrote up to the end of Ch. 8 but when I went to write 9, nothing happened. I also kept thinking of every different story like this and I really didn't want to try to copy something that came before so I was stumped. Then the other day, it just came to me :) So without further ado here's Ch.9 of Clownfish. I'd like to thank djkauf for the editing.

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9.

“How are you feeling?”

I shrugged.

It was a good question and one I didn’t really have a good answer for.

“How am I supposed to feel?”

Deena smiled. I’m not sure she had an answer either.

The two of us were sitting in her office. When I left the Q, it was decided that she and I would meet every week for a couple of weeks after my release. Remember how I said MD and PHD, well besides her medical license, Deena was apparently a shrink too. Today was our first official meeting. This morning I had to get up extra early to get ready too. You know how much teenagers hate to get up before noon on a Saturday? Yeah, well Mom insisted. Thankfully, I managed to go through my morning routine without Carrie interfering.

The Squirt didn’t wake up until Mom and I were leaving.

She pouted a bit about that.

No Carrie meant slumming it a bit. Even in a pair of sweats and a loose t-shirt, I still looked like a Greek Goddess.

Damn.

Anyway, I was now in T2, in the same building that Mom’s office was in. Unlike Mom’s though, Deena’s office was pretty high class. Apparently, the different medical fields were relegated to different floors. Mom’s office was on the third floor while Deena’s was on the top one---the forty fifth floor to be exact. Yeah, it was a really tall building. Not that it was out of place, though. Most of the office buildings in the Zones were tall. In fact, there were four buildings of the same height in each Metro.

They had an official name but most of us just called them the Towers.

Mom and Deena had offices in T2.

Dad had an office in T3.

You get the drill right?

There were other differences besides the floor. I wouldn’t say Mom had a small office by any means but it didn’t compare to the size of Deena’s. Her’s was huge. Not only did it have a reception area with a secretary but it also had a little en-suite, a few examining rooms for her medical patients, a room where she met with her psych patients and her private office area. We were currently in the private area. It was pretty spacious too with a horseshoe shaped desk, a large sitting area with a very comfy couch and a great view. When I first came in, Deena ushered me over to the large glass window behind her desk. She wanted me to see the whole of the Metro. It was spectacular, I could see all the zones, the towers, even the semi-transparent dome of The Cube---well at least when the light hit.

Now though, the two of us were on the couch.

This first meeting she said she wanted to make as informal as possible.

That’s why we were in her office.

“Why don’t we start with something else, feelings can wait,” she said, smiling. “Why not tell me about your first week of school?”

“It was weird”

“How so?”

I sighed. I gave her a quick recap of the first day. How the principal basically told me he wasn’t going to protect me if something happened and how everyone reacted to seeing me. I told her about my friends or lack thereof now. Well I still had Joe but Maddie and Ted were probably gone for good. Then I told her about John and Natalie.

“Girls are like that sometimes. You’re new and let’s face it, much prettier than her. It’s only natural she’d feel threatened by you.”

“It’s stupid. Why should she feel threatened by me?”

Deena smiled. “You’re a very pretty girl now, talking to her boyfriend. I think you see where I’m going with this?”

I sighed and nodded.

I knew exactly where she was going.

“How do you feel about John?”

“What do you mean?”

“I think you know what I mean.”

I’ll admit it; I squirmed a bit in my seat. I was hoping I could avoid something like this. I’m an idiot for even mentioning him to her. Now I was going to have to explain something I didn’t want to talk about yet. I was a little scared about it all actually. I knew I was no longer attracted to Maddie or any other girl for that matter.

“He’s not unattractive”

“But he’s a boy” she said and I nodded. She continued. “And that makes you uncomfortable. It’s perfectly understandable. You are still in that transition phase of things. It’s common for new Alphas. In time, it will fade. Eventually you won’t even notice. He’ll be a boy and you’ll be a girl and nature will take its course.”

“I’m not sure I want it to.”

She burst out laughing while I frowned at her reaction.

She apologized when she was done.

“Ok, moving along” she said more professionally. “Tell me about the rest of your week”

Taking a deep breath, I told her.

The rest of the week was pretty routine I guess. The only thing that really stood out---on the second day of school---was my new Gym class. While the boys and girls had different locker rooms for obvious reasons, we still shared the same Gym for actual class. Well mostly the same. The Gym was the largest building in our school; as such, it was large enough for them to section it off. A large glass wall divided it directly down the center. The boys were on one side, the girls on the other. It kept the two classes separate but the same. The strange thing was the opposite nature of it all for me. Both halves of the gym were identical but I couldn’t help but feel I was on the wrong side. Especially because I used to be one of the boys who used to ogle the girls.

Now I was on the receiving end of that.

And boy did they ogle.

Carrie had picked out what she called “the perfect gym ensemble”. Unfortunately it consisted of a white tank and blue shorts, both of which I think she bought in one size too small or something. At least I thought so when I put them on. Apparently, though, it was a standard uniform for girls because just about everyone was wearing them. I mean I guess I noticed as a boy but it just seemed standard or something. Now that I was wearing such an outfit, it was far from standard. I felt naked, especially with all the male eyes on me.

I also felt all the glares.

Every female eye around me was burning holes into me.

Eventually the staring got so bad that Miss Marx---the PE teacher---had to break it up with her whistle. The girls fell in line pretty quickly after that. The boys were a different matter. It was then decided that the “glass” would be “shut off”. It was something that the teachers could do from time to time to lessen the distraction. Basically, both teachers on either side had to push a button. Said button pushing turned the glass wall into a frosty glass wall, making it impossible for either side to see-through. They usually did it when the swimming rotation came around.

Yeah underneath the usual gym floor was the pool.

The only time we ever left the Gym room was when we did the track rotation. Apparently the higher ups just couldn’t figure out how to fit the track into the space provided so it was actually outside.

Well, Gym was the highlight of the rest of my week.

“What about your friends?” she asked after I regaled her with my amazing Gym story.

“You mean my friend,” I said, using air quotes when I said friend to emphasize I only had one now.

“How do you feel about that?”

I shrugged. “Pissed”

Ted I could understand, I mean he was gone now. The rumor was his mother was actually sending him to school in Z1, where a lot of the government muckity mucks sent their kids. The school there was smaller but very exclusive. Ted probably hated it there. Serves him right. If he wasn’t such an ass about things, he’d still be here with us.

Maddie, on the other hand, she was just being downright ridiculous.

She cut ties with everyone.

Including her old girl friends.

Now she was with that other crowd.

It got worse after the first day too. She wasn’t just dressing like them anymore. She was starting to act like them too. My second day back she turned up with several piercings. The third day, she had quite a bunch of weird tattoos. Then there was her attitude. Maddie had never really been a people person but now she was just a downright bitch---to everyone. The only ones not appalled by it were her “new friends”.

She blamed me for it too. She made that abundantly clear whenever I was around her. She would raise her voice and say things like “that freak” or “that thing”.

It hurt.

“She’s hurting too I imagine,” said Deena, comforting me as I started to tear up. “Give her some time; her world has fallen apart all at once. She just lost her sister and now her boyfriend, it’s going to take some time for her.”

I nodded, wiping back the tears.

I knew that.

Deena decided to change things up after that. She started asking me about my home life. Well there wasn’t really much of one. Just like before, it was usually just me and Carrie. After that first day of school, Mom became Mom again. She was still a little more attentive but she lost herself in work again. Dad was always absent. Apparently he had some big “project” he was working on. I don’t think he’s been home once since I have been. I talked to him briefly on the vid but he seemed distracted and distant. It didn’t take a genius to figure out he was avoiding me.

It was how he coped.

When Grandpa died, he disappeared into his work for weeks.

So life kind of sucked right now.

The only good thing I had going for me now was the Sentinels.

“I think that’s a good place to end this,” said Deena when I brought them up.

“What about them?”

She chose her words carefully I think. “Are you sure going back to them is such a good idea?”

I nodded. “The Sentinels have been my life. They’re all I ever thought about. I want to be me, as normal as I have been. I want that life”

She smiled, a little uneasily but smiled nonetheless.

“Well good luck to you then.”

The ride from Deena’s office to the main way was a rather quiet one.

Mom and I never talked all that much to begin with, not enough in common. They couldn’t be more far from the truth now. We weren’t technically even the same species anymore. It was one of the reasons why I chose to take up my usual seat in the back of our Jag. My sister usually rode shotgun anyway. Today however Mom and I were alone but I didn’t feel much like talking. I was too worried about how things might go. Sure there was nothing in the rules that said an Alpha couldn’t be a Sentinel but I was setting a great deal of precedence with it.

I was also causing quite a stir apparently.

Though I was an “unknown” Alpha, the News didn’t fail to report my recent controversial stand. Apparently I was something of a rebel now.

Go figure.

I wish they’d get their facts straight for once though. I wasn’t rebelling against anything. In fact, my parents and I had spent the better part of the week talking to the higher ups in The Sentinels. Much like my school, they said they couldn’t give me any preferential treatment, but unlike my school, they said they’d be fully responsible for my actions. Actions, in and out of uniform. So even if I were to streak through the park in my skivvies, they’d still hold me responsible for it and take the necessary action. That action was one thing and one thing only: Removal.

No more Sentinels.

My dreams crushed.

Loserville.

So yeah no pressure or anything.

Thankfully, I was going into this somewhat prepared. Having already gone through the preliminary orientation and having been accepted as a Probate, I was one step closer. The next two weeks however were the real test. My meeting with Sergeant Phillips was just step one; sure they’d accepted me now they needed to see if I could make the grade. That meant putting me and my fellow Potentials through a grueling two-week orientation course. If at the end of those two weeks, I could prove myself to them then I would be an official Sentinel Cadet.

I already made steps toward said goal. Last night I spent a better part of forty-five minutes reading my manual, from cover to cover. My new super Alpha brain enabled me to memorize the whole thing too. Ok so it was a little unfair but it’s not like the other guys weren’t going to have some tricks up their sleeves too. My grandfather told me to always be the “best me I could possibly be” and that meant using everything I had to offer.

Alpha powers activate.

Seriously, though, I was really nervous.

It didn’t help that my mother and sister had convinced me to dress a little more sporty for it. Gone were the sweats and tee I wore to Deena’s office. In their place was a light hoodie over one of my running tanks and a pair of black yoga pants. Yeah, I’m totally hating the pants. At least they let me pick out my own shoes---a new pair of Nikes. My mother tried to convince me a little makeup might not hurt but I drew the line there. I compromised by letting her style my hair into a nice high ponytail. Carrie had wanted to braid it down my back, you know like that girl from those old time video games from the yesterday year, Lara something or other.
Yeah I’m not ready for that yet.

I’m still not ready for a skirt either.

Carrie tried to convince me to wear one to school yesterday but I’ll burn that bridge when I get there. Like I said before, I think she’s enjoying having a sister way more than I am enjoying being one.

“You ok?” asked Mom, bringing my thoughts to an end.

I shrugged. “No better than usual”

She turned around, letting the car drive itself.

In fact, most of the time she let it go on Auto.

“You don’t have to do this you know. I understand your need to be a Sentinel, I know it’s something you’ve wanted but that was before…”

She trailed off a bit, stopping herself before saying the obvious.

I finished for her. “Yes, back when I was Ben.”

She’d been doing that all week, whether she realized it or not. It was tough on all of us, me more than most. Carrie liked having a sister but I could tell even she was weirded out by it . Mom kept making mistakes and apologizing for them. She wanted me to be happy of course too but she seemed to want me to forget who I was before too. Don’t even get me started on Dad. When he visited me at the Q was the first and only time he’d seen his “new” daughter. Ok like Mom, Dad and I had never really been that close. I think he resented the relationship that grandpa and I used to have. I think I mentioned it before but Dad and Grandpa were never close.

Grandpa had been very outgoing, always on the move. Dad was more of a stay in the garage and tinker on something kind of guy.

He was still like that now.

Except instead of a garage, he spent most of his time at work.

Avoiding things.

Like his son turned daughter.

Strangely enough, the only one of the family who didn’t seem to have a problem was Toby. Then again, he was programmed to accept us no matter. I’m sure a real dog would have noticed the difference but not good ole Toby. All Mom had to do was access his memory bank and switch the old me to the new one and for him it was like I’d always existed this way. Kind of insulting but it saved some problems. If Toby hadn’t recognized me, I’d be in a load of hurt. Sure, they were great pets but they had a real nasty security system built into them as well.

I knew my family was trying but that didn’t stop me from getting annoyed about the whole damn thing.

“Honey” she said, trying to take my hand but failing when I pulled away. “I understand how hard this is for you but you need to accept…”

I cut her off. “I’m still me!”

We’d had this conversation before too.

Mom had been continuing to try and convince me that my life as Ben was over and I needed to accept it. I needed to embrace the new and let the old stay where it was, in the past. That meant anything that Ben had been involved with should be forgotten. Things like The Sentinels. I could read her like a book though. She was never happy that I’d been interested in them in the first place. She used to hate when Grandpa told me stories about the “good old days”. She had made it very clear when I wanted to join them that she hadn’t been happy with my choice.

But it was my life.

My decision.

“Car stop!”

I could hear the anger in her voice as the car came to a stop in one of the many nearby parking spots along the road. She unbuckled her harness and turned completely around in her seat.

“Now listen and listen good,” she said in her sternest voice. “I’m concerned for you sweetheart. This obsession you have with your life before is unhealthy. I know how much you loved all this stuff but there is so much more out there for you now. A new life waiting on the horizon, new opportunities.”

“I don’t want a new life or opportunities. I want everything as it was before. I liked what I’d been doing, I liked being me!”

We weren’t shouting at one another but we were getting pretty close.

Mom rarely got angry but when she did, it was something not to be trifled with. However, unlike before, I wasn’t the least bit afraid of it now. It seemed so trivial in comparison to me now. More than that though, it was a human yelling at her superior. If another Alpha or a Sentinel happened to be witness to it, Mom could get fined. It was kind of stupid but it was the law. We used to learn it all the way back when we were children, the Three Truths: Alphas are Superior, Alphas are Strong, Alphas are Never Wrong.

Three Guidelines.

Three Absolutes.

Three things that humans were not allowed to go against.

“Mom” I said, looking out the window, worried.

Mom seemed to notice she’d been raising her voice to me.

Thankfully, for her, we were still a few blocks from the Sentinel Center.

“I’m sorry,” she said, looking downcast.

This time I took her hand, tearing up. “It’s my fault and I know what you’re saying but I can’t accept it Mom. This is all bullshit and I want…”

She was hugging me a moment later. Whatever anger either one of us felt was gone in that instance. After a moment or so, I realized how stupid it had all been. We were having the same argument all over again. We had it last night and the night before that. In fact, we’d been having it pretty much since I’d gotten home. It was getting us nowhere. I understood what she wanted and her concern but she needed to understand my concern as well.

I wanted to be me.

I wanted to be human.

We stopped hugging and crying a minute or so later. Mom took a moment to use her Bio to fix her makeup. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. If there was one thing about all this I’d never do, it was that. I don’t care how much of a girl I was now, something like that just freaked me the hell out. Women these days were too damn vain and it scared the hell out of me that I might turn into something like that, something not me anymore.

Like Maddie’s brother.

“We’ll be ok Mom,” I said, reassuringly.

“I know sweetie”

Though she said, I could sense there was something else in her voice too.

Uncertainty.

Another moment later, she had the car moving again.

The rest of the short drive from the parking spot was a quiet one. As the Center started to get into focus, my excitement started. The Sentinel Center was a large complex that stretched around the entirety of The Cube. There were a total of six entrances, each one opening into one of the Zones. From what I understood there were four entrances that opened into The Cube itself. Large and constructed out of titanium steel and glass, The Center was one of the first structures built after the Fall and Upheaval. The Sentinels as I mentioned before were created as Peacekeepers, there to prevent any further hostilities between Alphas and humans. Originally meant for humans alone, there was nothing in the rules that stated an Alpha couldn’t join their ranks.

It had just never happened.

Not until now.

As we got closer, more of the building came into view.

Calling it, a building though was a bit of an understatement. It was more like an elaborate guard tower that wrapped around the transpari-dome of The Cube. Five stories high, build to withstand most explosives and natural disasters, the Center was a literal fortress. At one time, it housed over two thousand Sentinels. Over the years though, the number had dropped drastically. Now only five hundred strong, the Sentinels were a dying breed. Most of the Center was used for training exercises now. Large areas were even sectioned off and abandoned because there wasn’t enough man power to keep the place fully staffed.

A part of me felt sad.

The other part realized the significance of it though.

The Center had been built in a time of turmoil. The large show of force there to convince the humans and the Alphas that they meant business. Now however, it mean that there was peace. Peace was good on all levels except for the Sentinels themselves. Once a force of absolute power, now the government kept lessening their duties and mandates. A once great military arm was reduced to nothing more than glorified security guards and babysitters when needed. Sentinels weren’t even allowed to carry real weapons anymore.

The sign of the changing times.

Mom pulled the car into one of the designated visitor slots.

“You sure about this honey?”

I nodded.

“This is where I’m meant to be Mom”

She gave me a weak smile then a long hug.

I climbed out of a car and gulped, never realizing how enormous all of this was. The large blue steel and glass building loomed high above me. Even higher was the dome of The Cube. This was the closest I’d been to it after all. The dome of The Cube was several miles wide and three miles tall, an engineering marvel. The transpari-dome was designed to simulate a calm and soothing environment for all those who looked at it. On the inside, I had no idea what it looked like. Out here it was currently displayed a serene skyscape of clouds. Every one of my classmates used to gloat about how close they’d been to The Cube and what they saw on the dome. In truth, they were all full of it. Most humans only even got to the designated spectator zones around the perimeter, several feet back. One actually had to get a pass to get any closer and go through two checkpoints.

Very few were afforded those passes.

As a Sentinel candidate, I had special permissions. Mom was allowed to use one of the designated roads to bring us here. On my preliminary orientation---back when I spoke to that hologram of the Sergeant and had that life altering physical---I’d been afforded access to one of the Center’s underground way stations. There were several of those, accessible to anyone. They were there to report problems and things like that. In fact, there were several ones all around the Zone, unattached to the Center actually. Those little way stations were nothing more than call boxes though. We learned about something like that in history class from long ago, police boxes or whatever. We also learned about something called 911.

All of that was gone now.

I was also in the big leagues now too.

No more way stations.

No more underground meetings with holograms either.

I took a breath as I stepped away from Mom’s car and toward the building. My heart was racing as the excitement inside of me grew. As I got closer to the entrance, I felt a little nervous as well. It took a lot to get myself to this point. I’d been through a lot too. Not just my gender flip either. I’d been training for years up to this point. Well not really training but preparing. Sure, I had some rudimentary combat training from grandpa. A mild form of martial arts he taught me, the only form Dad would permit him to teach me actually. I’d also read everything I could get my hands on throughout the years, including grandpa’s old manual. It was miniscule in comparison to today’s modern one but it still contained all the same info.

I knew how to be a Sentinel.

I was a Sentinel.

At the door, a hologram of a man’s head appeared.

There a was momentary look of surprise on his face before he was all business.

“Can I help you miss?”

I cleared my throat, moment of truth time.

“Bethany Carson Z3-14-A1-49”

Yes, I had a new designation now. No longer was I 03 of my family. Because I was now an Alpha and the only one in my household, I’d been designated A1. It was kind of cool but a little embarrassing as well. Not cool though was the change of my last name. I’m not sure if it was noticed at first but I’d been Ben Daniels before all this crap happened. Well society designated men and women a little differently now. Unmarried women took the name of their mother until such a time as marriage. So I was a Carson now, just like Carrie. It was kind of stupid if you ask me but nothing any of us could do about it. Interestingly enough though, if I’d actually moved to The Cube I could change everything, including my name. Mom and Dad picked out Bethany of course but if I had wanted, I could have called myself anything. In fact, there were a lot of Alphas out there with weird names like Johnny Crash, Moonshine Flower and Raven Dark---Johnny was a Free Baller, Moonshine an actress and Raven a poet.

The sky was the limit when it came to Alphas.

The hologram blinked a few times. He looked me over a lot. I was starting to get really fucking annoyed about that bit. He was a Sentinel after all; surely I wasn’t the first Alpha he’d ever seen. Ok so my lips weren’t three colors nor were my eyes neon---don’t ask. I was still just like any other Alpha out there, minus the fact that I was on the other side of their “wall”.

It took him a few seconds to recover.

“You’re Probate Carson?”

I rolled my eyes. “Yes”

This guy had clearly been expecting me. Technically Probate Daniels was supposed to report to them last week but circumstances out of my control had changed all that.

“Ummm…”

I sighed. “I’m supposed to be here. Do whatever checking you need to do, I can wait.”

The head disappeared.

About five minutes later, another head appeared.

This one of Sergeant Phillips.

“I’m sorry for the mix up Probate, we were expecting an Alpha but the man here was under the impression that it was going to be a male one.”

“In another life sir.”

Phillips laughed. “I can only imagine.”

I’d only met Phillips that once but I did like him.

“A bit than the last time we met sir.”

“Only on the outside, Probate”

I smiled.

Now I really liked the guy.

“Damn straight sir.”

He nodded. “Well then, I’d like to re-welcome you to the Sentinels, Probate Carson.”

He gave the customary salute gesture---a fist to his chest. I returned the same and the door opened.

Sentinel life here I come.

Author’s note: As I’m sure all of you know, comments are life blood to an author. I’m not begging or demanding, but I certainly would appreciate anything you have to say (or ask). It doesn’t have to be long and involved, just give me your reaction to the story. Thanks in advance...EOF