Chapter 62

Tim seemed a little nervous, his permits for the Grand Opening had come through pretty fast. He was hoping that one week was long enough to get it all together. They were a go for next Friday as far as the city was concerned. There were flyers at the printers, and the prep schedule had gone into overdrive.

Thanks, Officers, he was sure that Hudson and Hobson had something to do with it. Of course, Tim’s promise that he’d be able to make his daughter a cake for her 13^th birthday probably greased the wheels some. He smiled, never thought there would be cops on my side. He glanced at Bobbie, she was pouring out measured portions of the milky custard that filled the shot glasses. He turned to see Beth engrossed in her work.

Beth had been sculpting for hours in her off time. She had finally figured out the process that would have made up all the tiny figures required.  It was a good thing, too.  Now, he was talking about having the Grand Opening the next week. Which meant Heather and the rest of Grrl Army would play again. She smiled, she missed hearing them play. It wasn’t always her kind of music, but it was obvious that they were having fun.

The day was shaping up to be an easy one. Beth’s progress report on the fondant figures had her ready to go at a moment’s notice. They were ready for the next day of operations, bacon was candied, chocolate ribbons were rolled out.

Bobbie had finished the shot glasses and gotten them into the walk in. It was, all in all, a fairly standard evening shift at Cheepskates.

 ***

Baby, you light up my world like nobody else…
The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed.

The phone vibrated in Faye’s pocket, startling her. Glancing at the screen, she saw the big black letters announced that ‘Mom’ was calling. There could only be one reason for such a call. She swallowed hard and hoped it was good news. She pushed the button and answered the call.

“Hello.”

“Bobbie, it’s Sylvia.” Faye noted the lack of alarm in her voice and her tension slipped away slightly, taking a moment to notice that older people still insist on announcing themselves despite the existence of caller ID.

“Kim’s awake.” Sylvia said, not giving Faye a chance to say anything. “I’m going to the hospital now. Thought if you wanted to see her…” And me. It was unspoken, but Faye heard it. “I could come get you.”

“Sure.” Faye said. She looked up at the other bakery occupants and knew they would want to be there as well. “Just let us finish up here.”

Hanging up the phone, Faye answered their anxious looks. “It’s Kim, she’s awake now. Mom’s coming to get me. You wanna meet us there?”

Beth’s face broke into a big smile. “I knew it.”

Tim smiled as well. “Yeah, I’ll give her a ride. You two should talk anyway.”

 ***

Sylvia had come to the bakery to get Bobbie quickly, not wanting to miss seeing Kim again. She also wanted to see Bobbie again. Heather had been right. She had, in fact, owed her an apology. Seeing that girl again, and everything happening with Kim. Sylvia made no excuses, and she was going to set things right.

Picture or no picture… She remembered Heather saying that. And, it was true. Since Bobbie came into her life things got better at first. Then this whole Roxx fiasco started. She’d met Roy, and Bobbie’s friends had made a go of that bakery. Pretty ambitious for teenagers.

She saw Bobbie standing out front of the bakery, holding Tim’s hand. Inwardly, she applauded Bobbie’s taste. Girls that looked like Bobbie tended to find comfort in the arms of some form of letterman jacket. Sylvia waved weakly and watched Tim get his kiss goodbye. She popped the lock on the passenger side and allowed the blond girl entrance.

 ***

“Hi, mom.” Faye said, it was like existing within Shrodinger’s Cat’s box, both comfortable and uncomfortable at the same time. She entered the vehicle and fastened her seat belt and waved at Tim and Beth, knowing she’d see them in an hour or two.

“Tim must be really special.” Sylvia said , wanting to break the ice.

“He is. Must be how he makes a living with frosting. Too sweet.”

Sylvia laughed. She put a hand on Faye’s knee. “I wanted to apologize to you. I’m so sorry. I didn’t meant to lose it like that.”

Faye put a hand on Sylvia’s. “It’s casual, it’s hard when people don’t talk.” She remembered how not talking had put Tim and Myka in that horrible, dark place.

“And… well… you can move back in. You didn’t deserve that. If something had happened to you, I doubt that I could forgive myself.”

Faye smiled. It was nice to have people care about you, she mused.

“I’d like that. But, I have some things to take care of at Faye’s. They need my help now.”

Sylvia looked disappointed. “It’s okay. If you’re not comfortable with…”

“Don’t be silly. That’s not it at all. Faye and her roommate Nick are going through some… stuff. They were there for me when I needed help. I couldn’t just leave them after all they’ve done for me.”

Sylvia smiled. She does help everyone. She was sure that Bobbie’s parents would be proud of her, whoever they were. Her loyalty to those who had helped her since blowing into Delacroix stung a little as she realized that just assumed the worst. Just like she always had with Robert.

“It’s okay.” She patted her hand on her leg. “I understand, room’s still open.”

The hospital loomed large in front of them as they struggled to find a parking space that didn’t have a handicapped symbol in it. When they eventually did, there was a walk of nearly a quarter mile to the entrance. The familiar labyrinth of halls and elevators passed them as they made their way to the room they all had walked into far too many times.

“Kim!” Sylvia said, too loudly, and rushed to hug her daughter. The burning tears  behind her eyes tamping down the elation of seeing the girl awake and alert. Both her arms and her mother’s clamped down around each other. Faye smiled at this display of affection, it was nice to see families together. She held a perfect Kodak moment in her mind.

“Mom. I’m so sorry.” Kim sobbed into Sylvia’s left shoulder. The words were muffled, but the meaning was intact. “I didn’t…” More sobs racked her.

“It’s okay. What were you thinking? Especially after Robert. I can’t lose you, too.”

Kim eyed Faye nervously and smiled.

It took a few minutes to get everyone all cried out, Faye joined the hug. Part of her wished that ‘Faye’ had a family. Feeling it’s pull now after all this time haunted her slightly. The attending physician arrived, green stethoscope hanging from his neck. Sylvia quickly closed the distance between herself and the doctor. Faye backed away slightly.

“Hi, Miss Pointe. Nice to finally see you under happier circumstances. Her infection has cleared up. Still not sure what kept her under for so long, but I’m glad she’s awake now.” He put the earpieces in and pressed the business end on her chest.

    ***

   The circle being pressed to her chest felt different from how it should have. Warmer, more sensual. Kim closed her eyes and breathed evenly, holding back a shudder from the overload of new sensation. His movement and placement of the stethoscope made her curl her toes inward.

   He’s kinda cute, Kim thought through half-lidded eyes, noticing his dimples. She remembered episodes of that doctor show she watched with her mother. Although this doctor’s stubble looked more like the product of too many long shifts rather than some sense of male fashion. His tired face showed concern. Kim noticed the way his shoulders protruded from his scrubs.  She could tell that they were strong. I bet he works out.

   Where did that come from?  She tried to ignore the thought, but she wanted to let this doctor continue to check her breathing for as long as he wanted.

    ***

   Starting the car, Heather looked over at the box on the passenger seat. She was feeling accomplished. Not only had she finished the bra, but the dress was done. She was considering filing a patent for those bra hooks. The ad for the Sweet Bra flashed in her head, showing two elephants pulling one of the garments to capacity, displaying the strength of her special anchoring assembly.

   The dress? Sheer sex, she couldn’t wait to see Faye in it. Or out of it again. Once she stopped the car, thankful for once that that old Camaro wasn’t in the driveway. Checking her makeup one last time, she studied the perfect lines and deep vermillion color of her lips.

   She grabbed the box and fought to contain herself as she strode to the door.

   Bobbie opened the door, wearing some short shorts, a ragged and holey Combichrist shirt lay draped over her enormous breasts, a fist seeming to rise up precisely from the line of her cleavage.

   “Hey, lover. Wear that for me?” Heather said coyly. Bobbie chuckled.

   “Maybe, didn’t figure you for…”

   “What?” Heather interrupted. “Someone who appreciates sexy?” She pushed her way past Bobbie lightly. Setting the box down, she spun and grabbed Bobbie.

   Bobbie’s head was suddenly at Heather’s chest. She felt her lips kiss her head.

   “Brought you something.” She gestured to the box. “But first…”

   Heather brought Bobbie’s face up to hers. A loud, staccato dubstep sound rang out with its accompanying vibration.

   Bobbie had the phone in her hand and up to her ear quickly. “Hello?” After a tense moment of looking at Heather’s quirked eyebrows, she sighed. “Oh, good. Actually, Heather’s here now.”

   The eyebrows moved closer together.

   “It’s Kimst…Kim. She’s  awake, we need to get there. Can we go?” Bobbie pleaded.

   Color drained from Heather’s face. She hadn’t really thought about what would happen when Kim woke up. She felt wrong somehow, but she smiled a wrinkled smile and said…

   “Sure.”

    ***

Beth felt strange wearing the helmet. She had come to think of it as Bobbie’s now. She held on to Tim. She kept thinking that maybe Steve should get a motorcycle, she giggled at the thought of them in black leather, him sporting an enormous beard. Some of the giggle; however came from the happiness of knowing that Kim had returned to the world of the living.

She leaned into the final turn with Tim and waited for him to stop. She dismounted the Vespa and handed Tim the helmet.

“C’mon.” Tim said. “Let’s go see how our girl is doing.”

Beth nodded and they began their march into the hospital.

***

It all happened quickly. Tim and Beth got there, Beth rushing to hug Kim immediately.

“I’m so happy you’re okay.” Beth grabbed Kim’s shoulders and held her at arm’s length. “But, that was crazy.” Kim watched her eye’s mist. “You’re my friend, I couldn’t stand to watch anything happen to you.” She cocked her head. “You know, your hair grows fast.”

Kim laughed and Beth hugged her again. The silence began to creep in when Heather and Bobbie entered the room. Heather hesitated for a second, her trademark restraint dissolving as she gave in and sprinted a whole two steps to her side. She clasped her head in her arms.

“You dumb bitch.” Heather said, her voice cracking, the tears leaking. “I…”

“I know.” Kim sighed, her face pained. She brought in one arm to hug her bandmate.

“At least you’re eating better here. Glad you gained some weight back.” Heather said, noticing that she had indeed gained some poundage during her long nap. “You were starting to look anorexic.”

Long nap? Hair? Gained Weight? Faye was glad Kim was awake, so was everyone else. Little things started to replay in her mind. Parts of this didn’t add up. It should have been heartwarming. Should have been. The warm, close hug she shared with Heather made her realize she was right, that fling with Bobbie had done her some good.

Faye had seen Kim before, but didn’t know her well. The shaved head and the baggy clothes was really all she knew of the recovering girl. This was definitely Kim, the face and voice were hers, of that there was no question.

But, those breasts were not. Her shirt was far less baggy than she remembered it ever being. Faye was also pretty sure that the jagged pixie Kim now sported wasn’t part of Kim’s standard ensemble, either.

I’ve got a bad feeling about this.

When Dr. MacStubble returned, he informed the newly formed group that they would have to come back when visiting hours started up the next day.

“Seriously?” Kim asked. “I was asleep for…days. I’m not tired.”

“There’s other patients here.”

“True,” Kim said smiling. “You’re the Doctor.”

“We’ll probably be able to release her tomorrow, she’ll need to see a couple more doctors before we can.”

Kim quirked an eyebrow.

“Okay. Just, Mom?”

“Yes, Kim?”

“Could you get me a Sprite on the way out?”

“Sure.” Sylvia smiled. Everyone shuffled out, assuring Kim that they’d see her the next day. Tim and Beth, Heather and Sylvia chatting lightly on the way out, floating on the elation of Kim’s well being.

“I’ll see you in the car, Faye.” Heather didn’t take her eyes off of Kim the whole time she backed away. The dark haired girl was left there alone with her real sister.

Bobbie ran to Kim and hugged her. Kim didn’t seem surprised.

“No matter where you go… there you are, huh?”

Bobbie snapped her head back. Kim smiled and pulled up the side of her hospital gown. The kanji’s characters boldly stood out. Bobbie recognized them immediately. She’d seen them on Roxx, on her own back, and now her little sister.

Kim let the gown fall, covering the mark again. “Your secret’s safe with me, sis. This is a better look for you.” She pulled lightly at the green streak in her bangs. “That good girl thing?” She laughed. “Totally not you, Robb.”

Bobbie swallowed hard. Shock opening her eyes to a capacity that’s possible, but not recommended.

“She told me all about it, says you’re doing a great job. This is gonna be more fun than making cupcakes. Now we can really be sisters.”

“Bobbie.”

Bobbie felt sick. No, not Kimster.

Sylvia came back with the sweating green can. The doctor returned and started to speak.

“I’m leaving.” Bobbie said, cutting him off as politely as she could. She pointed at Kim.

“To be continued.”

 ***

            Heather and Bobbie were quiet the whole way back to Faye’s house. The dress forgotten, the planned rendezvous suddenly off the table. Both girls had a lot to think about.

   Heather was unsure about how to handle this, Kim awake again. Faye sitting in the car next to her. She should have been elated, but wasn’t. Confused feelings ran riot.

   Bobbie lamented the fact that this entire night had left her cold, and as if that wasn’t enough…

   Kimster, she knows who I really am. And that mark??

   Lust.

   Now we can really be sisters.

   No, Kimster. Not that way.

   “Not that way.” Bobbie murmured.

   “Huh?” Heather  said.

   Bobbie shook her head, “Never mind.”

   “Yeah, I’m gonna….I’m gonna go.”

   Bobbie nodded. She got out of the car and was inside before she noticed she had opened the lock. She turned to watch Heather drive away.

   “Fuck, what a mess.” She said, making her way to Faye’s room. Bobbie grabbed for GIR and collapsed in a heap.

   Sobbing.

    ***

   Heather’s mask had slipped completely, tears were forming. She was so happy that Kim was back, but now she felt like she couldn’t tell the girl how she really felt. Now there were too many things to handle all at once.

   She pulled into the driveway of her house and very calmly and demurely slammed her palm into the horn. Unleashing one of her patent screams at the same time.

   Torn between Faye and Kim? How does one get themselves in such a fix as this?

   Love makes fools of us all.

    ***

   Faye heard the sobs behind the door, she couldn’t imagine what could possibly have Bobbie in such a state. Kim was okay, maybe they were tears of joy. She knocked and opened the door.

   “What’s wrong?” Faye asked. Bobbie looked up, her eyes red.

   “Kim…” She squeaked.

   “She’s okay now, and…”

   “She’s marked.”

   Faye raised an eyebrow. “Marked?”

   Slowly, Bobbie got up and hiked her top, showing the ‘tattoo’ that now sat there. Faye was stunned. She reached out and touched the darkened skin. “Where…?”

   “That’s just it, I don’t know, and that’s not the worst part.”

   “It gets worse?”

   “She knows who I am. Like, really.” Bobbie said, finally releasing her top.

   Faye watched her turn around.

   “Just after you left with Mom, she told me. I….”

   “I think it’s Lust. It’s the only thing that makes sense.” Bobbie wiped at her eyes.

   “But she’s dead, gone…” Faye’s face showed fear.

   “How do you know? She’s always been here, right? So has Justice. Now what do we do?”

   “We? What’s this we shit, white woman? You wanted this.”

   “Not Kim… not this way.” Bobbie continued sobbing.

   Faye sighed, as much as she wanted to slug Bobbie again… She couldn’t do it while the girl was so vulnerable.  She’s right about Kim, if it is Lust…

   We’re all in for it.

   Knowing that school was happening sooner than anyone wanted, the girls decided that trying to figure out a solution that night would be problematic. They slept, with Kim on their minds.

   Bobbie ran out of tears and fell asleep, clutching GIR again. Wishing for the first time in a long time that Tim was there, holding her.

Chapter 63

   Kim woke feeling refreshed and amazing. She thought it was a bit funny that she had a hand buried deep into her crotch, she knew what had happened by feel.

   Weird, best alarm clock ever though.

   Excited to be going home, she rang for the nurse and hoped for some juice. She knew that it would only be a few hours. Then she had some people to talk to.

   And a lot to say.

    ***

   Bobbie was trying to figure out how she was going to get to school. Heather wasn’t answering her phone, Nick still wasn’t around. She knew she was going to have to bite the bullet and ask Faye. Wrenching her hands from between her legs, she sighed. This whole thing was getting to be too much, Kim being the final straw. She rifled through the dirty laundry and looked for something clean. Need to do laundry.

   She eventually found some capris and a top that was only just too tight. She looked at the mirror and decided that she needed to face Faye earlier, before Faye could find her.

    ***

   Heather heard the ringing phone and ignored it, she hadn’t slept. She was counting spots on the ceiling for hours, throwing together a setlist for the Grand Opening. Maybe she drifted off, but couldn’t tell for sure. What do I do?

   On the one hand, Faye. The secret crush that no one knew throws herself at her.

   On the other? Kim. She wanted to go to the hospital right now and hold her and tell her how much she cared about her. She got up and looked in the mirror. The phone vibrated again. Heather looked at the mirror. Bobbie was right, she didn’t need those fucks anymore. Her armor now cracked, she had better things to do than go to school today.

   Sorry, Faye. I’m gonna be selfish for once.

     ***

   Faye was up and finishing the coffee when Bobbie came out. “Good morning.” She said.

   “Feeling a little better?” Despite everything that Bobbie had done, Faye still felt tide of Bobbie’s sadness pull at her.

   Bobbie nodded, the green streak undulating like a tide.

   “I’ve been thinking. The Kim thing? We don’t know for sure. Let’s give it a bit before we freak out.” She offered Bobbie a mug of black coffee.

   “I hope your right.” Bobbie said, blowing on the steaming mug.

   Though her face didn’t show it, she hoped that Bobbie was right. Because that would mean one of them was convinced.

    ***

   Kim was wearing the clothes Sylvia had brought from home. Her Pixies shirt fit oddly, her new proportions making it hang oddly. She sighed, more shopping. Shopping. She smiled as she thought of Heather. Seeing the rest of the band.

   And Roxx. I understand now, wish you could have just told me.

   A short, balding man entered with a clipboard.

   “So, miss Pointe. I hear you had a little trouble.”

   Kim put on a pouty, sheepish look. “Yes. I got stupid with that oxycontin. Never going near that stuff again.”

   “Yes.” He continued. “It shows here…”

   “I’m not doing that again.” Kim repeated. “Can we just call my mom? I really would like to get back to school. Forget this ever happened.”

   “Look, Doc. I promise you won’t see me again. Just let me get out of here.”

   “What do you want? Really?”

   Kim sighed, exasperated. “I know that the right answer is that ‘I just want to get better’. But right now, I want a fresh pack of cigarettes, an order of fish and chips with tartar sauce, and large candy cane mocha. I’m fine, you want to help me? Just let me out of here.”

   “In cases like yours, we put you on a 72 hour hold…”

   “I was out for like…” She counted on her fingers. “Over 100. The other doctor checked me out. No withdrawal or anything. Just let me out.”

   He looked at his clipboard, she was right. By all accounts, there was no reason to hold her. She seemed fine, no signs of depression. He shrugged as he signed the clipboard at the bottom.

    ***

   Bobbie saw Rach sitting in her usual spot, unwrapping a sandwich. She breathed in deeply and started walking in her direction.

   “Hey, stranger.”

   Rach looked up. “Hey.” She said, blasé look on her face.

   “Things are so crazy right now.”

   “Yeah, right. You ran off to that party, then had another shoot. You’re working, I get that. But a text or two would be nice.”

   “You’re right.” Bobbie hoped she could do this, she needed some contact so bad. “We could have dinner tonight?”

   Rach harrumphed. “You gonna have money this time? Or are you gonna pay me back again?”

   Bobbie smiled. “I think I can arrange dinner. How’s the leg?”

   “Better.” Rach said. “You’ve been acting really funny, babe.” She put her hand on Bobbie reassuringly. “I just want you to be okay.”

   “I’m always okay, and a few other letters, too.”

   Rach’s smile suddenly appeared like Ebola. “There’s the Valentine wit. Dinner, for sure?”

   “Yep. What sounds good?”

   “Surprise me.” Rachel said, Making Bobbie suddenly feel like this was a test.

   “I’ll make all this up to you. I promise.” Bobbie said, leaning in to kiss Rach on the cheek. Hope I can keep it…

    ***

   Heather conceded to herself that she should have pulled out the black lace up jeans she was wearing long ago. Of course she wasn’t happy with the laces it came with, so she replaced them. Now instead of laces of ebony, They were replaced with a deep burgundy, crisscrossing itself as it wound up the sides of her legs. The same black and scarlet colors wound around her chest in a top with a slight scoop neck. Her high heeled sneakers rested on the pedals of her car as she looked up at the sign for Shear Ecstasy.

   “Just a second.” Frankie called from the back. Heather smiled, Frankie didn’t know she was coming, but looked like she could take a walk in.

   “Hi, can I help… Heather?” Frankie said with mock shock. This marked the first time Heather had been seen in jeans in… well, forever.

   Heather’s smile continued. As she put together her outfit, she had the feeling that she was removing the walls and bars of her inner prison. Hanging up the dress she was wearing was like opening the door for the last time, starting the car like walking past the guard towers.

   “Hi, Frankie. New project.” She grabbed at her ponytail.

   “Me.”

   Heather climbed into the chair and showed Frankie some pictures on her phone. She described exactly what it was she wanted, right down to a color swatch with mixing chart. Frankie seemed nonplussed, but Heather knew that she was shocked.

   That’s Heather for you, always does her homework. Frankie thought, she remembered when Heather brought in that boy with her last year. She chuckled at the memory of the look on his face when Heather told Frankie what they would be doing.

   “You’re sure about this?” Frankie said, grabbing some clips.

   “Positive.” Heather said, not trying to contain her smile.

   Frankie sectioned off Heather’s crown and twisted it into a misplaced topknot. Using a series of clips, she secured the bundle of hairs and let it rest on the top of her head. She turned to her tools and found the right one for the job.

   Heather felt comfortable sitting there, inhaling the sweet scent of freedom. The cage was gone, replaced by an easiness she’d never felt before. It was a magnificent feeling, one she promised herself would become so commonplace that she’d likely never notice it again after this.

   She drank it in while Frankie did her work, all the while looking forward to seeing Kim.

   …And Faye.

    ***

   Kim was drying her hair. The spiky pixie cut she now sported took a lot longer to dry, but she decided that she liked it a little, it brought out her lips. The relocation of her piercing was a little unnerving. But it was cute. The slight purple sparkle of the tiny gem glinted in the light.

Her jeans were tighter in the hips now, the bagginess gone. She wore the belt anyway, it hung off of her hip at a jaunty angle, the tiny seat belt clip dangled slightly askew after a couple of loosening tugs.

   She fought down the urge to pleasure herself in the shower, chalking it up to having been unconscious for nearly a week. She looked at herself in the mirror, she noticed how her chest had increased. The nipples pinker, more delicate. her bra was way too tight. Switching it out with one of her sports bras, Kim realized that it wouldn’t quite do its job. It was a moot point now, but there was nothing she could do. The panties stretched past the point of containment as she slid them up her smooth legs. The jeans she once thought acceptably baggy now clung like Bobbie’s plastic wrap. Crazy Apple sure has a funny size scheme.  She thumbed a nipple unconsciously. Tingles wrapped around her in every direction. Pulling up the jeans made her jump from the secondary sensation as the panties bit deliciously into it’s rightful resting place.

 The medicine cabinet had her old gel still sitting there, she worked some through her hair. What do I do with this? It was cute and everything, but it was that frustrating inbetween length where it wouldn’t do much.

   Kim knew she owed everyone a good groveling. Especially Heather, her little outburst at the hospital spoke of some underlying desire that she hadn’t been aware of. She’d never seen anything like it before. Feeling like she had to get to the bottom of it, she turned and left the bathroom to head downstairs.

   Sylvia was there, with coffee. Kim sighed and decided that it would be better to get this over with.

   “Sit.” Sylvia said. Kim pulled up a chair and sat.

   “Mom.” Kim said, her mouth sounded dry. “Look I know what I did was stupid, and I never meant for it to go that far. But I am done.” She said with finality. The world felt more alive to her now, not less. Kim looked closer at her mother, there was a slight blue and yellow cast to her skin. Not the green of illness, but sheets of color sliding over each other.

   Kim put her hand on Sylvia’s. “After Rob….ert. You’d think I would know better. I’d rather be awake. Dumbest thing ever.”

   “And Roxx?” Sylvia looked serious as she sipped at the hot cup.

   “Mom, I heard ‘toxic relationship’ on a talk show. I didn’t understand then, but I do now. Rushing to grow up… It was a huge mistake.” And now that I’ve grown up, Roxx won’t be quite the influence she was.

   But I  will see her again.

   “I really just want to play my bass and get some cupcakes.” Part of her wondered if Faye’s cupcakes were as good as Bobbie’s. “I feel fine. I know that they told you to keep an eye on me in those pamphlets you brought home. Yes, I’ll go to NA if it’ll make you happy. But I have my head back. I have no desire to lose it again.” Besides, thanks to Roxx, Kim knew of many other ways to have fun. She’d rather be fully functional if she had any hope of actually enjoying any of it.

   The conversation continued. There was some crying and some laughing. But in the end, Kim won out, convincing Sylvia that the old Kim was back and putting the whole addiction mess behind her.

   There were more important things now, anyway.

    ***

   Rucker’s was a small restaurant in a quiet corner of town. A quiet bistro that served Italian fusion cuisine. It wasn’t too loud, and they served wine.

   And Bobbie felt like she needed a whole fucking bottle. The way most people had spurned her in one way or another made her feel like she needed to desperately cling on to this one relationship. The one that came with the body. The thought of dealing with Rach again made her nervous.

   Hey, you pulled it off last time, right? Just be cool, and you’ll finally get that real hug you want so badly.

   Hug. She thought of the one she got from Kim. That one was the opposite of therapeutic. Part of her chafed at being stuck in Faye’s body. She missed laughing with the other girls, thinking of new and interesting cupcakes…

   Helping people… That was always nice, when they looked her in the eye and said thank you.

   Bobbie looked at the menu and ordered the linguini with clam sauce, while Rach had the chicken Alfredo. When Bobbie ordered the Chardonnay, Rach looked at her with incredulity.

   “What?” Bobbie smiled as the waiter left. “What good is having a fake ID if I can’t use it?”

   Bobbie asked about the leg, and apologized about just disappearing. “…but that shoot was for Playboy. I just needed some time and, well…”

   “I didn’t want you to get jealous.”  Bobbie lied coyly.

   Rachel dug into the bread and salad when it came while Bobbie blew on her Minestrone.

   “So when does it come out?”

   “Should be like three months. The shoot from the mountain? That should be out next month, or July… not too sure…”

   Rach mentioned how not much had been going on. School coming to a close was making her think that there needed to be a little more work done on the grade front…

   Unless she wound up the wife of a Playboy model, which she wouldn’t mind at all.

   The pasta came and Bobbie was on her third glass and giggling more than she needed to.

   “I’m so sorry.” Bobbie said, only half talking to Rach. “Things have been so screwy since that snowboard shoot. I care about you, you know?”

   Rach smiled. They held hands and talked about what they would do over the summer. By the time they ordered a tiramisu to share, everything seemed right as rain.

   Bobbie paid the check and left with Rach, back into the SUV. The chatter continued until they passed Cheepskates. She saw the lights were on.

   “Rach… Can you let me out here?” Bobbie blurted.

   “Why? What’s wrong?”

   “Nothing.” Bobbie said quickly, knowing it sounded like a lie. “Just wanted some cupcakes.”

   “We just ate all that food, and… Bobbie’s living with you, aren’t there enough  sweets in your house already?”

   “Just, wanted some of the…”

   “Fine, never mind. Enjoy your cupcakes.” Rach let Bobbie out and drove off.

   Bobbie watched her leave.

   I’m sorry, Faye. I can’t fake it with her. Maybe it was the wine, but she missed Tim. She thought back to the Winter Ball, standing out of the sunroof with him looking up and seeing Orion rise in the sky.

   Hearing his heartbeat when they danced close.

   Smelling that wood and leather scent while riding the Vespa.

   Helping people like Beth.

   This current world of parties and sex was a fun place to visit, but living there was more of a chore than it seemed like it would be. Sure the first few weeks were free.

   But then you needed to start paying. And the card seemed drawn on the Karma Bank.

   Buy now… pay forever.

    ***

   Tim was looking at the figures for the School project on one window, while he had the Instagram and Facebook pages up on the others. The pictures that Bobbie insisted on taking were getting a lot of views, and their ‘likes’ were going up steadily. The Grand Opening had been announced. There was still a lot to do, but it didn’t look too hard.

   The trick with eating an elephant is to do it one bite at a time.

   Taptaptap…

   He looked up and saw Faye standing there, she wasn’t standing straight and she looked a little concerned.

   She’s gonna hit on me again, isn’t she?

   He sighed and went to open the door.

   “Tim. Hi.” She leapt forward and hugged him. He returned the hug as warmly as he could.

   “Just wondered if you had any cupcakes left?

   Tim smiled. “No, not today. Couple of the custard shot glasses though.”

   Custard shot glasses?

   The cookie concoction was brought out and Faye looked at it. “Shots? Finally a pastry I understand.”

   Tim laughed as she ate it.

   “Whaddaya think?”

   “It’s fantastic.” Faye said. “Wish I’d thought of it.”

   “Well that’s Bobbie for you.”

   Faye’s eyes started to water. She grabbed for Tim again.

   “Faye. I love Bobbie. You’re great and all.”

   “But she’s my angel.”

   Faye began crying. Tim accepted the hug a little more, feeling bad for the girl.  The green streak trailed down her side and shook as she sagged into him, crying for what seemed like a long, long time. After finally regaining composure, she apologized to Tim. Promising that she wouldn’t bother him anymore, Faye began to leave.

   Tim noticed a slight heave to her shoulders as she turned away. “Hold on, Faye. I can’t let you walk. Let me give you a ride.” He disappeared to the back and returned with the helmet that she had worn so many times. Putting it on was sort of like a homecoming.

   To someone else’s house.

    ***

   Riding the vehicle, Bobbie fell into a familiar pattern of clinging to him. The breasts that others lusted after only got in the way here. The ride was over so quickly that it hardly felt as if it had started.

   As she dismounted, Bobbie looked at the boy that made her think of things differently. She saw how differently he looked at her now, she wanted that back again.

   “Faye. If only you were around a year ago, this might be a very different conversation. But, we have a connection, Bobbie and I.”

   Bobbie handed her helmet back to Tim, he secured it to the hook on the side.

   “You’re a great girl, Faye. Don’t let anyone tell you different. I’ll see you at the Grand Opening, right?”

   “Yeah.” Bobbie whispered.

   Tim backed the moped out of the driveway and rolled away.

   Bobbie let the tears go. She elected to stay outside, when Faye came running out.

   “Bobbie.” Faye said, puzzled. “I thought I heard Tim…”

   “He gave me a ride. I went to…”

   “Bullshit, you tried to hit on him again, didn’t you?”

   Bobbie flung herself forward and cried.

   “I can’t take this anymore.” She sobbed.

   “I just want my life back.” The words were nearly unintelligible. “They don’t talk to me the same way. They all just think I’m a bitch.”

   “Well, you kind of have been, haven’t you?”

   Bobbie looked as if she had been slapped.

   “Let’s take a look at current events. To the world. ‘Bobbie’ has successfully been helping operate a bakery. While ‘Faye’ has alienated her girlfriend, cheated on her with at least two people, and shot a nude spread for not one but two magazines. One of which is Playboy. Did I miss anything? Inject heroin or club a seal?”

   “If I could take it all back, I would. I just…” The crying continued.

   Out of pity, Faye stayed up with her and made her cocoa. By the time Bobbie went to bed, it was late, and sleep was suddenly very important.

   The fog of slumber overtook Faye as she fell into sleep.

    ***

   CLANG!!

   Faye knew that sound. Justice. Good, maybe we can finally get to the bottom of this mess.

   "What do you think you're doing, Faye? I did not put you in Bobbie's body so you could spend your days making doe-eyes at Tim. There is work to be done."

Faye’s eyes burned. "Then put your pet back in here, I never asked for this."

 Justice shot her a steely look. "Do you think I did this just to punish Bobbie? This was for your benefit as much as hers. You needed to see what your life could have been like if you didn't allow yourself to be dragged down by Lust. By your so-called friends. By your job. You have so much potential, but you squander it." She held Faye's gaze, making sure that she felt the impact and weight of what she was about to say.

   "I will not allow that."

   Faye laughed through her nose. “You two are exactly alike, you know that?”                  

A righteous fire roared to life around Justice, so intense and furious that Faye was forced to step back and shield herself from the heat. "We are nothing alike! Where I create, she destroys. Where I give love, she takes indulgence. When I save lives, she steals them. Do not ever try to compare us again, or when you wake up you will think you have always been Bobbie Sharpe, and Faye Valentine is some harlot that you are very soon never to speak to again."

 

 

Stymied, Faye thought... Would it be so bad? She had Bobbie's life now, and by all accounts it was a good life: She had a family now, friends she could depend on just as much as Rachael or Zoe, and a job that didn't involve wearing tiny bikinis or lingerie for money.

But most of all she had Tim. He...completed her. Somehow whenever she was in his arms, everything felt like it was going to be alright, no matter how bad the situation became. She didn't have to be tough, snarky or sexy around him...he wanted her for who she was inside. And inside, she was starting to feel a lot more like Bobbie and a lot less like Faye.

 “It is nearly time, Faye.” Justice said, interrupting her train of thought.

   “Oh, really? Well that’s just great, now that your lackey has put large chunks of my life in a blender and hit puree.”

   “I would not complain too much, Faye. She has done things for you that you do not know about yet.”

   “Yeah,” Faye interrupted. “She screwed up the two most important relationships in my life, warped my body into a caricature of itself, and now she’s in the middle of a total fucking mental breakdown.” She saw Justice wince at the use of the expletive.

   “You will both be able to fix your problems soon enough.” Justice said, looking through Faye. “You will both be going back soon.”

   “Just gonna wave your hand and…? So long Faye, thanks for the help.”

   “As I said, Faye, you will be compensated. Besides you have bigger problems, as does Bobbie. The mark…”

   “Yeah, I thought Lust was dead, what’s going on?” Faye was hoping to finally get a straight answer. “And why do I have that tattoo?”

   “That is her Mark. She is gaining energy through The One Called Roxx. Bobbie can help once she is home. She will have to do the same with her sister. This Roxx is a formidable thrall.” Justice said with something approximating admiration.

   “You only need do one thing to return to your old life.”

   Time stretched like new taffy, some of her was happy. She’d be able to fix what’s wrong with Nick, Rach, and whoever else Bobbie screwed up along the way.

   But, the larger part of her was so, so sad. Thoughts of the prom date with Tim that could have been were playing through her head alongside memories of their date and the party. She smiled as she thought of how Stacy helped to make those evenings memorable.

   She thought of the gang of friends she had come to know, she liked them. Yeah, they were a little square and corny, but they fit together. A sitcom waiting to happen.

   The way people reacted to her help when she offered it. How her ideas had helped the Bakery. My ideas, not hers.

   Justice read the look on her face.

   “You look vexed. You began to feel…comfortable did you not?”

   Faye started to tear. The relationships she shared as ‘Bobbie’ were just as real to her as the ones she shared with Rach and Zoe…

   And Nick…

   Tim…God, there were guys like that out there. How many did she just dismiss out of hand? She had had sex with a guy now… No, a man. It wasn’t as bad or awkward as she thought it would be.

   “You did.” Justice smiled. “But, just because this will end, it does not mean you cannot build similar relationships with others. Now you know what it feels like.”

   “It will not be the same, but it will be better in some ways. You will see.”

   Justice moved forward and hugged Faye.

   “What.” Faye said between sobs. “What do I need to do?”

   “Communicate with her.”

   “I’ve tried that. Talking…”

   “I did not say talk. I said communicate. There is only one way to truly communicate with her now.”

   “How?”

   Justice’s stony gaze remained unchanged.

Realization struck Faye. “You’ve gotta be kidding. You mean we have to…”

   “Should not be a problem. You will know what to do.”

   “That’s it?”

   “You will see the opportunity when it arises. Again, thank you Faye.”

   The hug broke and Justice’s environs began to fade as the CLANG overtook her hearing.

    ***

   Sylvia was making pancakes. She hadn’t made them for Kim in a very long time. Wish I had Bobbie’s recipe. The one time she tried to add Ricotta cheese turned into a burnt mess. When Kim finally came downstairs, she had managed to keep the finished ones warm in the oven, sausage links with their smell of MSG and Vermont maple syrup alongside them in a glass baking dish.

   “I’m taking you to school today. Just want to make sure you go.” Sylvia said, piling food onto a plate. Since Kim came out of her coma at the hospital, a few things struck her as odd. The sudden hair growth was one thing, and the lip piercing? That’s not where it was… was it?

   Kim laughed. “No problem, Mom.” She poured syrup on both the pancakes and sausage, watching it pool up in one corner of the plate.

   No arguments? Did those pamphlets get anything right? “No arguments?”

   “Mom, look. I fucked up. You don’t wanna let me out of the house. I get it, I can’t argue. I just want to be able to pick up my bass after school.” She looked at her hands. “My calluses are gone.”

   Sylvia was happy to hear her daughter talk about things so mundane as calluses and music again. Between her absence and the time she spent with Roy, things had been so out of balance. Her response was to agree.

   The ride to school was filled with dirty jokes. The mother looked at the daughter and saw how much she had grown up. Her short stature didn’t tell the whole story anymore.

   “No, mon. Mine says ‘Welcome to Jamaica, mon, have a nice day.” Kim looked over at her mom, who suddenly burst out laughing.

   “I’m gonna have to tell Roy that…” That was funny, never thought I would miss dirty jokes.

   “Ewww. Mom, don’t…”

   “Uh uh. You don’t get to tell a dick joke and then get grossed out when I mention…”

   Kim sighed. “Fine.” At least she didn’t roll her eyes this time.

   The gravel crunched under the wheels as Sylvia pulled the car to a stop in front of the school’s main building. “I’ll meet you here after school, okay.”

   Kim laughed through her nose. “Okay, mom. I’ll be here. I guess that’s the best apology I can give.” She brushed the nose length bangs out of her face, grabbed her backpack and turned away from the car. She was anxious to get back to school.

   …and she needed to have a little talk with Roxx.

    ***

   Brandon Jeffries was putting everything back into his locker. There were papers everywhere at haphazard angles. His filing method was far from foolproof, but he didn’t need it.

   Looking to his left, he saw her.

   Kim Pointe.

   He had asked her to go to a dance with him back in seventh grade, she rejected him. That event had prevented him from ever asking another girl out in the time since. She looked different today, prettier than he remembered.

   And Brandon remembered her pretty enough.

   “Hi, Kim. Nice to see you back.”

   “Brandon. Hi. Good to be back.” Kim was sure that it sounded fake, even though it was anything but.

    ***

   Kim remembered Brandon. He was so sweet and nervous when he asked her out. She actually felt bad about it, but Kim knew what she was interested in by that point. Wishing she could embrace who she was, she politely refused and went about the slow process of dealing with her own raging internal changes.

   “So, I heard that you died or something? That’s not true, is it?” Kim could see the a thin pallor of kool-aid reds and purples slithering about on Brandon’s face.

   “Obviously not.” Kim said, brushing the hair from her face.

   “Well, you look good.” He said nervously.

   He still likes me? Wow, he must still have it bad. Suddenly, she remembered what that first kiss was like, how much it made her day.

   Go on, kiss him.

   What do you mean? Not my type.

   Are you sure?

   There was a strange logic in that. How did she know? There was a first for everything.

   Why not?

   “Brandon, you’re sweet. Thanks for asking about me.”  She hugged him and kissed his neck. Brandon looked back at her, surprised.

   Then she kissed him, her tongue entering his mouth. He’s a good kisser. When she pulled away, his eyes were still closed.

   Opening them again, Brandon breathed. “You’re welcome.”

   Kim giggled and walked down the hallway. Brandon noticed how her pants clung to her posterior,  pressing it’s perfect heart shape against the rough denim.

   It would have been an ordinary day at Delacroix High.

   When did you start liking boys? Kim thought, but cut the thought short when she couldn’t come up with an answer.

   It was halfway through her first class when she noticed that she was rubbing her thighs together.

   Would have been.

    ***

   Heather had gotten used to the surprised looks by lunch. No one had dared say anything, shock being the common first reaction. Running into Faye in the hallway, she registered the abrupt change in a different way.

   “Heather!” Faye said, her eyes widening. “Wha…?” Nervousness shot through Heather as Faye approached. Faye snaked a hand out and stroked one of the buzzed sides of Heather’s head. It felt velvety to her touch. For a second, she seemed to study the earring she was wearing. Black and white masks of Comedy and Tragedy, with trailing hands that clapped as her head turned.

   Heather smiled. “Like it?”

   “Yeah.” Faye blurted. “Just so used to the dresses.” She stepped back to see all of her at once. What was left of Heather’s hair fell all to one side, it’s longest point coming just below her jawline and only got shorter at an angle heading back towards her neck. The colored chunks in her hair showed their brilliant scarlet as they reflected in the harsh, prismatic light of the corridor.

   “Yeah, fuck it. Thought I deserved the Heather Sweet Treatment. You saw how well it’s worked out for everyone else.” She smiled. A laugh, followed by… “My mom’s gonna freak.”

   Faye leaned in and kissed Heather, right there in front of everyone. A couple of passing students noticed.

   Heather couldn’t help but notice that the initial energy from the hospital was gone. Had simply holding Kim in the way she wanted to changed how she perceived Faye?

   Changing the subject. Heather asked, “Did you ever get a chance to open that box?”

   Faye shrunk a little. “No, not yet.”

   Heather smiled. “Well, I need to get to class. See you later?”

   Faye smiled. “Sure.”

   As Faye left, the happiness of freeing herself was overtaken by consternation. Picturing herself with Faye just didn’t seem as proper as it did with Kim.

   Dammit, Heather. How can your first love triangle be this complicated?

   She heard the round of applause made by the hands of her earrings as she turned and headed off to class.

    ***

   Kim wondered why she had felt so aroused. There was so much warmth and color to everything that it made her head swim. Everything seemed to bend into a pleasurable thought or sensation. Even that paper cut she got in English class sang a joyful song for just a split second.

   She tried to keep her breathing even, her breasts heaving. Their weight still unfamiliar to her.

   SMACK!

   Click, click. Click, click.

   Kim knew that cadence anywhere.

   “Kim!” Roxx exclaimed, her arms outstretched. “Let me see… gimme a spin.”

   Kim’s face hardened. “Fuck you, Roxx. What’s up with Mary? I saw you two and then I went home and…”

   “Hey.” Roxx said, pulling out a cigarette. “I just needed, to….” She held it away from her face, looking up to the left and obviously thinking of the right thing to say.

   Clink.  The Zippo opened, Roxx thumbing the wheel slowly, needing extra time.

   “This is what she gave it to you for. Don’t you feel it? E-Ticket Ride.” She laughed quietly. “Brandon’s been walking on air all day, hasn’t he? She’s got faith in you.” Roxx winked as she inhaled. “I do, too.” Her voice became a breathy whisper.

   “Now, come on.” Suddenly brightening. “Give us a spin?”

   Kim turned around slowly. Roxx offered her the cigarette.

   “You didn’t change as much as I did. I think it’s cute though.”

   Kim inhaled the non menthol smoke. It tasted different, but the surge of pleasure was immediate. Didn’t change as much as I did?

   What’s that supposed to mean?

   “Change?” Kim exhaled and gave the cigarette back to Roxx. “You were someone else?”

   Roxx shook her head, red hair tossing lightly. “It’s not important. But Mary? It’s part of what we are. You can spend the rest of your life with me…”

   “But I can’t spend the rest of my life with just you when there’s so much out there to taste.”

   Kim looked stunned.

   “You’ll see.” Roxx continued as she tossed the butt into the toilet. “The craving is getting to you a little already, isn’t it?”

   Kim shifted uncomfortably, Roxx smiled.

   “Come by my place later, it would be nice to have you around again.” Roxx stroked Kim’s face. She turned on a heel and defiantly displayed her Mark, which swayed like ocean waves as she left.

   Kim lifted her top and stared at her own Mark in the mirror. The arousal was still there, but lessened.

   What did I get myself into? She wasn’t sure, but something about it made her feel queasy.

    ***

   Faye was looking at the lunch table. The whole Army was reunited, she smiled as she took her place. Wait a minute, where’s Heather?

   “Hey hey, the gang’s all here.”  A voice said excitedly.

   Beth gasped. “Heather”

   Amber just sat there stunned, her glasses too far down on her nose. She made no move to correct their misplacement.

   “What the fuck?” Bella said. “Fuck yeah, Heather. Lookin’ all rocker and shit.”

   “Yes, I decided that I needed one of my makeovers. See, I had these fucks, and someone told me that I didn’t need them anymore. No big deal. We’ve got that gig on Friday.” She smiled at Kim. “Hey, Kim. You gonna be okay to play?” Faye smiled at Heather, and absorbed the shock of everyone else.

   “Sure.” Kim smiled weakly, still thinking about that exchange with Roxx. “Just need to build up the calluses again. My bass still at your house? My mom was gonna bring me by to get it later.”

   Heather brought up one side of her mouth in a grin. “You know it.”

   “And, I like the hair. It’s cute. Better than the last time I saw you . The shaved head isn’t for you.”

   “You should talk.” Kim said, indicating Heather’s new lack of the long ebony locks that were her trademark.

   “Hey, it’s edgy. Thought you liked edgy.” Heather had enough sarcasm in her voice to fuel a hipster convention. “And, as much as I hate to say it. That lip piercing works better than the labret. It’s really cute.”

   Kim grinned weakly as she bit into her sandwich, thinking about how ‘liking edgy’ had started so much of the sequence of events that led them to this point. Her unease drained away as Heather started discussions of the songs that they would play at the Grand Opening. Since it was likely to be the last Grrl Army show with the original lineup, they all decided that they would go out with a bang.

   The talk of music and being surrounded with her friends masked how she felt about the things that Roxx had said. Life seemed almost normal again.

   Almost.

   Chapter 64

   Sylvia was there, as promised to pick Kim up and take her to Heather’s. She was sure that playing the bass would be a good thing for her recovery. At least according to the pamphlets that had yet to be proved right.

   The ride was quiet. Kim fidgeted in her seat nervously. She thought about that kiss all day, even with Roxx she didn’t think about sex this much. Her body burned and ached with want and need.

   “You okay?”

   “Yeah, mom. Just can’t wait to start playing again. We’re playing the bakery’s Grand Opening. I guess we’re gonna do some kids songs, and some cover. Be nice to get on stage again.”

   When they arrived, Kim got out of the car quickly and bolted for the door. Heather opened it and waved from the door. Sylvia blinked for a second before finally recognizing the tall girl.

   She’ll be fine… Heather’s okay.

    ***

   Faye was looking at the amount of bananas that were piled on the counter. There was suddenly a fear of being overrun by roving bands of monkeys in the post banana apocalypse.

   “Tim. Is there a reason that we have enough bananas to feed King Kong?” Yes, good reference.

   “Bobbie. Look at the spreadsheet. We sell more banana bread in the mornings. We sell some at night, they’ll have some for the morning. Some new people will try it.” He laughed. “I got a Facebook message this morning saying that they came in one day and we were out. She proceeded to have the worst day. I told her to come in and grab a slice on the house. But, you were right. This social media stuff is helping. Birthday orders, parties, office meetings. We’re gonna be really busy.”

   Faye felt accomplished. “So, we need a lot of banana bread?”

   Tim’s eyes widened. “We need a lot of everything.”

   “Y’know, I’ve been thinking. We should be able to do ice cream cakes.”

   Tim knitted his brow. Ice cream? Would make us more versatile. “If we had a spinner, sure. But, too expensive right now. Maybe we can get a local dairy to help with that. We’ll have to think about it.” Tim still couldn’t understand how she could pick up a small detail like that when everything was already going so well.

   “Got the frostings marked and dated, Tim.” Beth called.

   “This is gonna be big. Gilda offered to set up a coffee station out front.”

   Faye was going to be sad to let all this go. Justice was right, it was comfortable. Waiting for the right moment was going to make her insane with antici…….

   …….pation.

   All she could do was just roll on and hope that she would recognize the moment when it came.

   “Everything okay with Kim?” Tim asked.

   “Seems fine, she went to Heather’s to get her guitar and I guess hang out.”

   “Yeah.” Beth said, suddenly speaking up. “Have you seen Heather?”

   “Not since we got my suit, it’s all been over the phone, why?”

   “She was wearing these jeans with laces up the sides, and…”

   “Wait… back up. Jeans? Heather?”

   “Yeah,” Beth continued. “And she cut her hair real short, and it’s just different.”

   “Oh, okay.” Tim said. “Well, I guess I’ll see her soon enough. This is going to be a very crazy week. Hopefully, this all pans out.”

   “Pans? I see what you did there.” Faye said. She surveyed the production area. I’m gonna miss this.  She stared as they turned to work.

   “What’s wrong, Bobbie?” Beth asked, looking up from the chocolate ribbons.

   “Nothing.” Faye smiled.

   “Nothing at all.”

    ***

   Kim’s heart leapt when she saw the bass parked there next to Heather’s Keytar. The letters of her name now spelled out in multicolored glitter across the face of the guitar. She picked it up and gave a few test plucks. It hurt a little, but, she’d be back in no time.

   “It’s still tuned. Thanks for the glitter.”

   “Don’t mention it.” Heather smiled. “Kim.”

   Kim looked up from the fretboard.

   “I like you.”

   “I like you, too. You’re my friend.”

   “No.”

   “ I like you like you.”

   Realization dawned. Pink and purple swam in Kim’s vision. Heather came forward and kissed Kim with the same passion she had shown Brandon. The bass forgotten, Kim accepted the kiss.

   It was like the first time she ever got high. The dizzy, spinning warmth that washed over her like the oxycontin. But it was better…

   Because it’s real. The days of stoned somnolence over. New days and new beginnings.

   With Heather apparently.

“We all hated seeing you with Roxx. But, especially me. We all saw it.”

“She didn’t care about you.”

   Smiling at each other, Kim looked at Heather with dismay.

   “But you’re not gay.” She said.

   Heather laughed. “That gaydar of yours may be shit hot.” She said, slipping into fighter pilot slang.

   “But I’m super stealth. I am ninja, hear me roar.” She let out a grrrr through her teeth.

   Kim laughed.

   She saw it now, the colors she saw making sense. Heather was lonely, the yellowish tinge that shot through the purples and pinks told her something was up. She let it go, asked for a Coke. Heather surprised her with a Sprite.

   They talked. Kim learned so much about Heather. God, not being able to be who you are must be the saddest thing in the world.

   It turned out that Heather had admired Kim from their meeting. Heather was jealous that she couldn’t just come out like that. And she’s hidden it since we formed the band. Wow.

   Betty had been working as a costume designer when she decided to have Heather. She never knew her Dad. She was told young about how she had come about. So when these feelings surfaced five years ago, she just figured that she got it from her Dad.

   Whoever he was.

   Also, the ‘All I ever wanted was a little girl.’ That she often said didn’t help.

   She considered coming out when her mom went to New Zealand, but didn’t. Just figured that after graduation would have been better.

   Kim started flipping through her sketchbook, it wasn’t long before she noticed that her earlier drawings looked like Kim did. Near the middle there was another figure. One with incredible curves and a bright pink streak in her dark hair.

   The last few pages reminded her of gothy Jessica Rabbit. Green dress with yellow gloves, and…

   Long dark hair with a green streak?

   Faye?

   No, Bobbie.

   Bobbie? What the fuck?

   Heather saw Kim’s face fall. “Yeah, Faye and I sort of…”

   The words were coming out rapid fire now. “You were in the hospital, she came to visit you… one thing led to another.”

   “I have mentioned that I’m happy to see you still alive, right?”

   Kim couldn’t blame her for that, she had been unavailable. Way too high to care about anything other than right now.

   “I thought it meant something more, but…”

   “I’m not sure.”

   Kim smiled. “You? Not sure? Wow.”

   Heather looked at her keytar. “It’s been a really crazy week.”

   Kim laughed. “No shit.”

   They held hands and listened to music and talked about how exciting it would be to be playing at the grand opening. How it would be the last time GRRL ARMY would deploy.

“Bella’s gonna miss those drums.” Heather lamented. “You think we could find a new drummer?”

“You guys really saw that? Her not caring.”

“Of course I did. I care.” She put her hand on a knee.

   Kim was happy for the first time in a long time. When her mother came to get her, she sat in the car. Grinning like the Cheshire Cat the whole way home.

   And occasionally rubbing her thighs together.

    ***

   When Faye opened the door, she heard the sound of a movie permeating the air. Buckaroo Banzai? She was going to have to watch it eventually. Faye paused to wrinkle her cute features at the irony before slipping inside. Bobbie was sprawled out on the sofa, her face a picture of disinterest as the images flashed by onscreen.

“You okay, Bobbie?” Faye asked, curious about the pity party she clearly wasn't invited to.

“Yeah,” She muttered. She pressed a button on the remote, pausing the film. “I used to watch this with my dad. They never explain why there was a watermelon there.” She stood up, languidly tossing the remote onto the couch. “I’m just gonna go to bed.”

“That’s it? No how is everything? How's Kim?”

 “Doesn’t matter.” She sighed. “I’m Faye now, remember?” Gone was the determination from earlier. It sounded forlorn, the last soldier at the farthest outpost.

Outnumbered and low on ammo. Going down with the ship.

"What's gotten into you?" Faye asked with an air of genuine concern.

 "Nothing." She muttered, waving a hand dismissively as she sulked by.  "I’d keep watching, Tim loves to quote this one, you should probably brush up since you're his girlfriend and all. You should know the difference between an oscillation overthruster and a Lectroid."           

   She went to the bedroom and closed the door.

   Faye looked at the hallway. She wanted to feel sorry for Bobbie, and did.

   A little.

   Nick did finally roll into the house, looking a little better. “Hi, Bobbie.” He lowered his voice to a whisper. “Is she?”

   Faye nodded..

   “I need to destroy something. Up for some Saints Row?”

   Faye smiled. It had been a while since they played that.

   The destruction and carnage began, they were almost done robbing an armored convoy when Faye finally broke the silence.

   “You okay? Faye told me what happ…”

   “Shit.” Nick said, his character being repeatedly shot by a submachine gun.

   “She’s sorry, you know.” Nick’s character flopped over, dead.

   “Sorry?” Nick said, suddenly turning. “She… fuck.”

   Faye threw an arm around Nick.

   “She’s gone through a lot.”

   “I know. I was there, remember?”

   Faye did. “She didn’t want to hurt you.”

   “That’s what she said.” He said dryly.

    Faye wrinkled her nose in frustration. Her character flopped over dead.

   “She won’t do it again. I think she feels badly.”

   Nick rubbed at his eyes. “I’m just gonna go to bed. I love her, you know? Just not that way. You two are like sisters to me, and this whole thing just kills me. When she’s ready to talk, I’ll be here.”

   Well, looks like I might be able to fix this one.

 

    ***

   Sylvia kept hearing moans and silentish screams from Kim’s room all night.

   She knew it wasn’t from nightmares. Sylvia had been a single woman long enough to know exactly what those sounds were. But there was another sound, like the sound of a low ‘b’ played on a pipe organ.

   She let it go, figuring it was better than drugs.

   So long as she didn’t get too loud.

    ***

   Kim woke up the following morning with both hands buried deep in the delicate folds of flesh that resided between her legs. The novelty had worn off quickly, the arousal she felt constantly begging for someone, anyone to touch her. It was making her itch.

Feels like a withdrawal.

   At least shows that the nerves are working.

   Breakfast and the ride to school were pretty normal, she was able to keep herself in check.

   It was World History in second period when it happened.

   She suddenly bit her lip and screamed voicelessly. She quickly got into a bathroom stall. It was a long six minutes before it stopped. The sudden explosion of orgasm left her shaky and weak, covered in the thick, beady sweat that came afterward. Kim was able to get back into class and hold on until the bell rang. Everything seemed fine otherwise. Just a fluke.

   Until it happened again at the beginning of fourth period’s Algebra class.

   What’s happening to me?

   The bathroom began to decay before her eyes. Rotten corruption enveloping everything. Ichor running up the walls and coating the floor slowly like a thick sludge.

   There she stood in the epilepsy inducing flicker of the harsh, fluorescent light.

 The Woman. She looked different this time. Her face bore a cruel smile. “You! What’s happening?” Kim said, fear breaking through the haze of orgasm.

“This is part of the deal. You get to see your mom again. In turn you help me.” She half dissolved, half melted into a shorter girl with a surprisingly similar figure. Kim was looking at her own face and body, matched curve for curve with a fearful symmetry. The dead, black eyes the only difference.

Her look became malicious, even her voice had changed to match Kim’s own. “And helping me gives you certain… perks.”

Kim looked at The Woman carefully. “What perks. I’m having wet dreams while I’m awake. If that’s all you have to offer…”

   The Woman cut her off quickly. "what I'm offering you is power. Control. The strength to break your chains and be free of everything that ever held you back." Kim gave her twin a dubious look, her shift in appearance doing nothing to dispel her weariness about her. Some aspects of what she offered were certainly tempting, but you know what they say about strangers bearing candy…

“This is all some pitch, isn’t it? You must need me pretty badly.”

The doppelganger split her mouth into an impish grin. “Need? That’s a strong word. But I do want you, Kim. And more importantly, I know what you want.”

 “Oh yeah?” Kim gave her an irreverent glance. “What do you have that I want?”

“Revenge.” Her words hung in the air like the sweet aroma of Bobbie’s cakes.

“W-what?” Kim tried to feign ignorance, but her voice sounded uncertain even to her own ears. The woman took a step closer, her seductive gave locked with Kim’s.

“My name is Lust. And I know a thing or two about dealing with desire. Needs. Wanting. And right now, your soul is screaming. Wailing in anguish and frustration at those who have done you wrong.” She leant in, close enough for Kim to recoil slightly out of fear. “Roxx hurt you badly, didn’t she?” Kim nodded hesitantly, unable to form words in her throat. “You and Roxx…” Her tone was overly sympathetic now, bordering on saccharine. “…perfect lovers, just like Bobbie and Tim? It’s not your fault Roxx left you. You and she are more alike than you know. She wanted revenge too, and I gave her the means to slate her thirst.” Kim gave her a confused look.

“Why would Roxx want revenge on me?”

“Not you,” Fading out, the ichor receded and left Kim frightened.

“Bobbie…”

And why would anyone want revenge on Bobbie?

 ***

Heather expected to see Kim at lunch. When she wasn’t there, concern colored her face.

“She’ll be fuckin’ fine.” Bella said. “No fuckin’ way she’s gonna do that stupid shit again.”

“Yeah, she’s the old Kim, Although looks like the puberty tree fell on her in the last couple of months.” Amber said, liking the new style, but confused by its sudden appearance.

“Maybe she just isn’t feeling well. Aren’t you supposed to be like, sick for a while?” Beth asked. “She just probably needs some rest.”

“Hope she’ll be okay to play on Friday. I have the setlist for the grand opening. We know all of these, just hope she’s not too far out of practice.” Heather said, handing out printed sheets of paper. It was nice to get the band back together.

Jesus Kim where are you?

Bella snorted. “Kids songs? Fuck yeah. I fuckin’ miss us playing together.”

Heather flipped out her phone and sent a quick text.

Just going home to rest, feel really tired.

“Guess she is tired.” Heather read from the screen. “I’ll see her later then. Anyway…”

 ***

Kim was looking for answers, and as much as she didn’t really want to…

She had to see Roxx. Kim knew that she would have at least some answer. Knocking on the familiar apartment door, she heard music and laughing. When the door opened, Roxx stood there one hand high up on the door jamb. Her high stockings reached well up her thighs.  A leather jacket covered a purple tube top. She held a hip cocked at the perfect seductive angle.

“Hi, Kim.” She said with a smile. “Come in, sit down.”

Kim entered the apartment and looked at the couch. Mary sat there sprawled out, eyes red and heavy lidded. Geez, did I look like that? All that lost time came into focus. Spaced out, listening to music. Cuddling… Was that what it was? Everything too fuzzy to remember. Treating her friends and family like shit the only thing that stood out.

“Mary.” Kim breathed. She remembered the first time she had bummed a cigarette from her. This wasn’t the life for her, for anyone. She suddenly felt sad. Her colors read like a box of crayons had been run through a pizza oven. It looked like she barely knew where she was. The girl was drowning in sensation and narcotic bliss.

Kim’s knees weakened again. “What’s happening with me? Why am I…?”

Roxx lit a cigarette. “What’s happening?” She blew smoke on the cigarette’s glowing tip. “Perks of the job.  You did fine with Brandon this morning. He’ll be dreaming about you blowing him all day.” She slinked across the living room.

“Want a hit?” Roxx used a blowtorch on a quartz nail. Once it glowed orange, she touched it to the waxy substance that was spread on the bowl. She inhaled hard on the large bong that sat in the middle of the floor, clearing the chamber of smoke, she smiled at Kim, baring her teeth.

“No.” Kim said with finality. Roxx shrugged. She remembered how just laying around seemed like a good idea at the time.  She sat, hoping to contain the building pressure.

“You need to give in to it. Fighting just makes it harder.”

“I didn’t ask for this.”

Roxx ignored Kim’s protest “Sure you did. She offered you a deal, didn’t she? She’s holding up here end.”

“She did for me.”

Mary stirred slightly, she had gone to sleep. Light snoring took over the sound of her breathing.

“And what do you have against Bobbie?”

 “She told you that, huh?” Roxx smiled “He abandoned me, just left me to twist in the wind. That’s what your brother did.”

Brother?

That means… oh, no.

The smile never left Roxx’s face. She saw Kim sliding in the last piece for a Tetris. The things she had wanted to say to her for three years all came into her mind at once.

Kim spat neurotoxin with her words. “You’re a whoreable person.” The two words coming out together.

“Fuck you, you little bitch.” The Cheshire grin seemed to broaden as Melanie looked at Robb’s little sister.

It was something about the shape of Roxx’s mouth. That was it, the light came on. Kim’s whole body drained of color. That Thanksgiving moment had been ingrained into her memory for years. Never forgotten, it still saddened her that things had turned out the way they had. She just wanted to be Melanie’s friend, so she could still be close to her brother. That line, that smile. She was that little girl again. The clues all matched up, there was only one possible meaning.

Melanie.

 “Aww, what’s the matter pumpkin? You finally figured out that I’m not Red Riding Hood, just a big bad wolf?” Roxx asked with an egregious pout plastered across her face. Kim held her ground, glaring at the crimson-haired vixen, “Now that we’re all one big happy family. Would you really rather have it any other way? You finally get everything you want.”

Roxx smirked, giving Kim a dubious look. “I’m making the mother of all omelettes here, girlfriend. Too late for second thoughts now…you’re a Thrall. Same as me.”

“Same as Robb.”

The realization hit home. The Woman… Lust. The arousal, the unusual wakeup, the spontaneous orgasms.

The deal. There must have been a lot in the fine print. Kim had never even read a software license agreement all the way through. Just scroll to the end and… click. Lust knew just what to do and say to make her agree. She’d been played… again.

She had gotten to see everyone again, and now she had to live up to her part. The picture of the Mark blazed in her mind’s eye. Fear and frustration blended into a frothy mix, the pressure building again.

Looking at Mary, then at Roxx, Kim felt trapped, the odds. She turned and left running.

“You can’t hide.” Roxx called from the open window. “See you around…”

“Tiger.”

 ***

Roxx was Melanie all along. The world got blurrier as Kim ran towards home, leaking tears. It was about halfway home that she realized that was a bad idea. She got out her phone.

“Call Heather.”

Robb, Melanie, Bobbie. What are we gonna do?

Kim sank to her knees, with the beginnings of a cry.

When the shattering pleasure from her pelvis began in earnest.

 ***

Heather was in class waiting for the moment when she could just hand in the stupid homework already.

Bzzt! Bzzt!

Heather thumbed the phone on. “Hi, mom.”

“Mr. McCambly, I have to take this. It’s my mom in New Zealand. Here’s my homework.”

“Yes.” Heather said, walking out of the classroom.

“Kim, hang on.” She lowered her voice to a whisper.

“Please come get me.” Kim cried.

“What’s wrong? Where are you?”

Kim whimpered as orgasm overtook her again.

The phone went dead in Heather’s hand.

 ***

Does she feel this all the time, too? How does she stand it? She realized that the drugs probably helped. But there had to be another way.

Had to…

If Roxx was Melanie, then she was being used just as much as Kim was. Revenge just seemed stupid and pointless now.

Shit… Bobbie… Kim had to tell her.

Bobbie. In a small moment of coherence, she realized that she had come to accept ‘Robb’ as Bobbie. Bobbie was her own person, different from Robb. Not better, just different. Maybe there was hope for them yet.

 ***

Bobbie was staring at her phone, looking at Cheepskates’ Facebook page. The cupcakes with the tentacles made her sigh. As did the shot glasses, and the banana bread, and the…

Sigh. She remembered that life fondly. Sure, becoming Faye had been fun.

At first. Mike, Ailie, and Luka making it seem like Wonka’s tasting room

Come with me, and you’ll be in a world of pure masturbation…

Helping people.

Tim better now than ever, Beth doing well. She did that, not Faye.

But Faye helped Myka.

Shut up.

Being shut out of the life she built from nothing more irritating now than ever. She wanted to laugh with Heather again, listen to Bella put her two fucks into every sentence. She wanted to bake again, laughing with Beth as hot pastrified bliss came out of the ovens.

But most of all, she wanted to be caught up in Tim’s arms again. To be held close. Hear his heart, feel his breath in her hair.

Why is there a watermelon there?

He had laughed at that line, too. How had everything gone so wrong?

Roxx.

Well, a little. Let’s not push off all the blame. You did almost as much damage to Faye’s life as Roxx did to yours.

A text dinged at the top of the phone, but Bobbie thumbed it away without even looking at it.

“Miss Valentine.”

Crap, that’s right. I’m in Agee’s class.

“Not today, James.” Bobbie held up a hand and began walking out. “People are gonna think you have a crush on me or something the way you keep picking on me. You don’t wanna explain that to Celeste, do you?” Bobbie swished her way out of the room. Agee blustered a series of incoherent words as she left class.

 ***

Heather found Kim sitting at a bus stop, arms hugged around her knees. A look of concern crept across Heather’s visage. Kim shakily made it to the car and got in gingerly.

“What’s wrong?” Heather put a hand on Kim’s shoulder.

“Can we get to your house? I don’t wanna go home… I can’t see my mom like this.”

“Like what? You’re not high again, are you?”

“No.” Kim said. She could feel the heat coming from Heather. The whole process threatened to start again.

She smells so good. Kim thought, inhaling the pheromones that Heather was dumping. Hints of bacon and cinnamon. The traffic wasn’t bad, but sitting at a red light was non negotiable.

The yellow was plain on Heather’s face. Kim could pick up on her worry through all of her senses.

Kim leaned over and planted a kiss on Heather. The pressure relieved a little. She flung her arms around her, abandon casting out from her arms. A burst that relieved the tiniest amount of the squeezing. She knew they should stop, but couldn’t figure out why.

HONK HONK!!

The loud noise cut them apart sharply, allowing Heather to start moving again. Thoughts were a jumble as thoughts of what would happen at Heather’s started to fill her head.

***

Bobbie was noticing a double inverse logic occurring within her life. The more she was forced to be around people, the more alone she was. She remembered when she had first met Faye at the bakery. She was still trying to find out exactly who ‘Bobbie’ was.

The Winter Ball… Tim… hanging out with the band… Dammit. Is that who I really am? Another in a long list of reasons that proved she didn’t have the predisposition for any evilly aligned character class.

Bobbie just wasn’t sure of anything anymore. She remembered Robb, how becoming ‘Bobbie’ was so easy. Didn’t even fight a little. Stepped right into those heels, didn’t you? It was true. Hadn’t been three months before she was looking at Tim with different eyes.  She smiled as she thought of Tim falling all over himself trying to talk to her. She thought with scorn about the things that Faye had done while they were out.

Oh, you just really wanted to see That Dawn of the Dead double feature.

Yeah, with him. Thoughts of being hand in buttery hand, close and cared for…

As the zombie horde crunched and slurped at the survivors’ internal organs.

And the sex? Well, she was gonna have to give Tim that one. Seems like Faye had pulled off the Bobbie act well enough. Must have just not cared about the missed references…

Yeah, she kept your life pretty much as you left it. And what did you do?

Bobbie sighed and continued walking. This just needed to end. She couldn’t imagine living this way anymore. She seemed unable to solve this labyrinth, and giving up seemed like the only reasonable move left.

And now Kim…

That was the final straw. There was no way that she could just let this one go. This aggression will not stand, man. All of Roxx’s well executed time bomb attacks shut one escape route after another until Faye’s body became her refuge.

Refuge, she snorted. Starting to feel like a prison.

She couldn’t hang out with anyone anymore. Bobbie was realizing that through a series of bad choices, she had slowly alienated everyone.

Just like Robb did.

It was odd, but she really did think of him as another person now. She couldn’t imagine him baking cupcakes, or doing much of anything. She saw that life as plainly as her new one…no, two.

Sitting on his bed, paperback of some adventure in his hand. Hours spent saving the universe from foes both technical and magical. Watching any of his countless DVDs.

He was so sad…I was, I was so sad.

Just like now.

She sighed and wished for a cigarette more than anything in the world.

***

Heather was laying next to Kim, sweaty. Kim was passed out, poor thing. She could have sworn that she heard dissonant low frequency harmonics. From someone who could hit and sustain an E below middle C, that deep, fuzzy sound was unmistakable.

See? This is what happens when you spend too many of your formative years next to an amp.

Looking at the small girl, she looked at the tattoo adorning her left side. Having that Reminder of Roxx was going to bother her. Matching tattoos? Really.

Come to think of it, didn’t Faye have a similar one? She laughed as she dismissed the notion of some strange sex cult operating in Delacroix. Holding Kim now, right here, was a singular moment in time. Everything she thought it would be, and more.

Things would be so different now, thoughts of her and Kim. The details would keep changing; they would be performing, or making clothes.

Or flipping burgers. The two stars staying close in their tight, binary orbit.

Heather heard Kim shift, the smaller girl’s hands sliding down her belly while she slept.

There’s that sound again. Heather slowly slid away, deciding to make an appointment to get her ears checked.

While in the shower, Heather heard something.

But, she’d be hard pressed to tell anyone what it was.

 ***

Sex dreams, the wrong type.

Kim was in a luxurious canopy bed in the middle of a field of black, red, and purple roses. Her partner was blurry, amorphous. Every sensation was an ocean of pleasure, so much to drink in…

And Kim was parched.

There was a penis…no, a vagina… no a breast…rock hard abs….slightly softer pecs.

Long, dark hair fell over a shoulder as she cried out. Suddenly she was ruffling shaggy hair that reminded her of Brandon’s, the hair disappeared all together. She raked her fingernails along the smooth scalp, only to have it become curly hair of a chestnut color…

Whatever was happening, Kim knew how to respond. She seemed privy to every desire, responding to each new contact appropriately. She managed to open her eyes for a second between ragged breaths.

She stood out, with a focus so sharp, that her reality was never in question. Her features sharp, the colors popped with extra contrast.

The Woman…

Lust…

She smiled, arms akimbo. Just watching. She seemed to be enjoying herself immensely.

It was at that moment the joy and pleasure of her surroundings lost all comfort.

She wanted to wake up, but couldn’t. Not so close to another orgasm. The pressure built, and built…

Kim woke up shaking. Finding her hands in the same place she always found them in now.

When Heather re-entered the room, Kim had gotten herself together again.

“What’s wrong, Kim?”

“Nothing.” Kim lied.

Lying again? Tsk Tsk. The sound of her own voice dripped sarcasm. Part of her wondered if it was her own subconscious…

Or was it Lust?