Author’s Note: A big tank you to djkauf for editing. Now time to see if I have luck posting with the way the site has been up and down.

Chapter Three: One Month Later

I sat on the couch looking at my therapist for the fourth week in a row. While I was sitting there I rubbed my hand across my head feeling the number two buzz cut that my father made me get after he caught me in a dress. Of all the things that my father made me do as a result of that day, getting my hair shaved by far is the worst. Since I have been growing since I was five and I feel cold and strange with such shorthair. The result of me wearing a dress was my father making me quit gymnastics, he also grounded me for one month, I am also forced to see a psychologist every week until she is able to determine what is wrong with me. I am also grounded for three months since I wore a dress.

And as for the ground in front my father got a location plan from our cell phone provider that he has programmed to inform him when I do not go straight home or if it takes me too long to get home. I tried leaving my cell phone at home the first day I found out about it, that got me a buzz cut every week instead of just the one. Then I tried leaving it off after school and with that my father promised me that he would force me to join the football squad if I pull that stunt again. Do not get me wrong; I would not see any time on the field if I would join at least not this year. But I would be forced to go to all the practices and would more than likely be a starter my sophomore year. Since I am actually a pretty fast runner and with my gymnastics training I can actually avoid a tackle quite well.

I made several promises to myself as a result of the issues that I've ran into since I wore the dress. The first of which is that I refuse to speak one word to my therapist. I do not care how long I'm stuck going to the therapist I will not say one word to her. I have kept up with that promise so far I have had three sessions with her that have lasted one hour long during which neither of us have said anything; other than her telling me about herself the first day and asking me a bunch of questions that I did not answer. After that the two sessions that happened for the one I'm sitting at here started off with, "Hello Mason; are you going to speak with me today?"

Another promise that I made to myself was that I would not speak to my friends again due to the fact that thanks to them I had to give up one of the things that I love doing more than anything else, and that is gymnastics. I have kept up with that promise as well though it has been strange being in groups with other people than my friends for group activities in school. Though speaking of school my first day at gym I got yelled at for going into the boys locker room. I later got three days of detention for cussing out the gym teacher telling him that I am indeed a male. Though luckily with the structure of the gym class the way that it is I am able to practice my gymnastics after doing the daily exercise that the gym teacher has set up.

And the third and final promise that I made to myself was to attempt to spend as little time as possible with my father until he apologizes for being a ass-hole. That has been easy as well since my mother has gotten the idea that I do not want to be near him and made me quit gymnastics and shave my head. Though luckily he was not completely heartless and allowed me to donate my hair to Locks for Love for children who do not have hair of their own. So at least one good thing has come as a result of me losing my hair.

And so I have caught you up on the first month of hell that was my first month of school. I had just sat down in front of my therapist; Dr. Susan Mallard, call me Susan. This is the fourth time that I sat in front of her in as many weeks and today she started the session out differently, "Hello, Mason; I bet you're wondering why he you have a later appointment today. You see, you are my last appointment of the day so we are going to sit in my office until you speak with me or it becomes nine o'clock which for future reference is about four hours from now."

Since I still have no plans to speak and plan on spending the next four hours in silence I feel I should tell you about where my therapist is located. She is in a medical center that includes many specialists as well as a blood and urine testing facility, because she's actually a therapist that specializes in transgendered patients. Though she does not only have transgendered patients; some are just transvestites or forced to come to her because they came out of the closet as being gay or lesbian to their parents. Though she tells me in the long run a lot of patients thank whoever forced them to come to her even if they do waste the money for the first few sessions.

Susan then took a breath and looked at me saying, "Since something tells me that we're going to be stuck here sitting across from each other for the next four hours I figured I should tell you what information I have on you already. Some of this is simply observations I have made and some of it is from sessions that I've had with both your mother and your father. On a side note I want to take your father out back and slap him upside his head for what he has pulled. My first observation is that at least at some point your hair became a defining feature for you and how you identified yourself. I understand that you had approximately 14 inches of hair before you were forced to get it shaved off. Also that you are a person of conviction, I have a feeling that you told yourself that you would not speak with me under any circumstances. You are one of the very few people I have ever seen that was able to just sit here and say nothing. Silence, believe it or not, is a very useful tool to force people to speak since people as a whole do not like silence."

She then turned on a 55 inch LED television that had a list of characteristics that apply to me. Against my better judgment I looked at them and read them and they fit me very well. "I made this list with the help of your family; that means your mother, father, sister, and brother assisting me with this list. What I am about to tell you I have not told anyone else yet. If I was given this list and only this list and asked ascertain what the gender of the individual is I would say that the individual this list is describing is female . Not only did the characteristics I see tell me this but also the way that you sit points to the fact that you align much more strongly with the feminine than the masculine."

What I did next time I am not proud of; don’t get me wrong I have broken my word before but I try my very hardest to never break my word, "What the hell are you talking about?"

Susan got perhaps the most evil smile I have ever seen, "So you wish to speak with me now. You are lucky that I'm not a petty woman and it is nice that you have let me get caught up on a lot of my paperwork as a result of you not speaking at all during your other appointments. From what I can see I would actually consider diagnosing you with gender dyslexia. Though based on the other information that I have been given I believe that you should have gone to a specialist. You should be tested to see if there is something biological with it since I've been told that you are able to do the uneven bars. Physiologically speaking it is nigh impossible for a male to be able to perform on the uneven bars. The male and female skeletal structure are different; after all the females need a different structure in order to give birth. The uneven bars take advantage of the female skeletal structure to have a flashier routine."

"So you are saying," I replied. "That I may have some biological issue why I have not started puberty?"

"I would not say you start puberty," she replied. "Though I can see why you would say that you have not started puberty since you are looking for the wrong signs. From where I am sitting I would say that there is more than an even chance that you started a female puberty."

In the end I ended up staying at the doctors office until nine o'clock after all we had a lot to discuss and time to make up. When nine o'clock rolled or him around I was surprised that time moved so quickly. Susan requested that I wait out in the lobby while she talked my parents. While Dr. Mallard was talking to my parents a nurse came informed me that Dr. Mallard has requested both a blood sample and a urine sample. They will start testing so that when I get into see the gender specialist they will at least know where to start with. Why the hell do they need so much blood and I will say this I truly hate having to urinate on the spot.

My mother and father went into her office and were in Susan's office for about thirty minutes. When they came out my father looked like he had seen a ghost. He was whiter than white, and my mother looked truly pissed at my father.

"Mason," began my mother. "After hearing what Dr. Mallard had to say I am hereby removing the bans on going anywhere other than school, home, and therapy. Also we are going to re-enroll you in gymnastics should you wish to rejoin gymnastics. We have a lot that we have to figure out thanks to what Dr. Mallard informed us."

~. ~

"Son," my father began. "I'm sorry. I just didn't know what to do. I have never in my life thought about wearing anything even remotely feminine and was always taught by my father and grandfather to punish any male who acted even a little feminine. I'm not making excuses for the mistakes that I made this last month. That being said I will get rid of their GPS location on your phone so that you will at least have some privacy. Again I'm truly sorry for how I acted."

This is all said while my father was driving us home. Strangely enough that speech made me want to laugh. I have never in my life even thought for a second day my father would be able to admit that he was wrong and apologize for what he did. And based on how my mother looked it shocked her as well. Though it might be the fact that my father is not exactly the most verbal of people and that had to be one of the longest speeches my father has ever given. The ride home after that speech was kind of surreal after that.

We of course at last got home we went into the house and my mother motioned for me to accompany her to the den. She motioned for me to take a seat and I did so with much trepidation. I knew that this was coming after all I had been ignoring and avoiding both my mother and father for the last month. Strangely I have always been closer with my mother and it was harder to be angry with my mother then my dear old father.

"So," my mother said. "How are you taking the news you are more feminine than masculine?"

"It's strange; part of me wishes say that there is no way that the doctor can be right with what she said. But since she had told me as well as shown me the list of traits which even I have to agree describe me perfectly to a tee. Though I must look at the facts that I even I am able to see now that I am looking for them. The biggest of which is the fact that I never fit in with other guys. I mean come on my best friends…"

I had to stop their I just could not finish that sentence I fear that thanks to my action in the last month that my friends were no longer my friends. And even I could see the looks of disappointment on my friends faces every time that I take somebody other than them for group projects in the classes that we share.

"I really screwed things up," I told my mom with tears in my eyes. "Something tells me that my friends are not my friends anymore."

"I would like to point out that you have been a friend to them for almost a decade. One month should not undo a friendship that strong. How about we send a text message to Emma and ask what she is up to tomorrow. Since you do not have an appointment with a specialist until Monday at 9 AM. Yes that means that you will not be going to school on Monday. They should have at least some of the results back by then from the urine and blood that they took."

I took out my cell phone and selected Emma’s cell phone number with much trepidation and typed: ungrounded at last :-)

And press send. Surprisingly almost immediately I got a text message back saying: and so the mighty Queen is ready to speak with her lowly subjects >:(

Mason: I know now I fucked up…

Emma: well, of course you did.

Mason: you so did not need to agree so quickly

Emma: well when you speak truth I agree

Mason: is there anything I can do to make you forgive me? ;(

Emma: join the c-squad since Stacy quit the squad since she is preggers.

Mason: you do know I was just grounded for the last month due to wearing a dress, right

There was a little bit more of a delay in the next message that I got from Emma: okay you do have a point. How about your word you won't do that again.

Mason: you have my word.

My mother chose that moment to log back into the room and she said, "So did Emma forgive you?"

"Yeah," I replied. "Though she tried to get me to join the cheerleading squad again since they lost a member."

"Yeah her sister is stressing out due to that. So why didn't you join?"

"You're kidding right? I did just get off a one-month grounding for wearing a dress do you not recall?"

"Yes, I recall that though I also recall that there is a chance that there is something else going on with you. I seriously doubt your father would go ballistic a second time since now that we have a doctor on our side. I would like to ask for your forgiveness."

"What for?"

"For not standing up to your father more. In all honesty his response to you wearing a dress was way too severe."

"I forgive you after all if something comes of what Dr. Mallard said there is a chance you will be forced to buy me a brand-new wardrobe. I feel that you should not complain about anything with my new wardrobe if it comes to that we can call it time served."

"Would you like to give living as a female a try even before we go talk to the specialist? If you do I can take you and your friends to the mall tomorrow to start your wardrobe. And of course we'll have to buy you a wig thanks to that awful haircut of yours."