Chapter 6: Was Blind, But Now I See
“Now there is a final reason I think that Jesus says, "Love your enemies." It is this: that love has within it a redemptive power. And there is a power there that eventually transforms individuals. Just keep being friendly to that person. Just keep loving them, and they can’t stand it too long. Oh, they react in many ways in the beginning. They react with guilt feelings, and sometimes they’ll hate you a little more at that transition period, but just keep loving them. And by the power of your love they will break down under the load. That’s love, you see. It is redemptive, and this is why Jesus says love. There’s something about love that builds up and is creative. There is something about hate that tears down and is destructive. So love your enemies.” — Martin Luther King, Jr.
“You know, it occurred to me to burn this hate-filled house of horror down with all of you in it. You deserve no less. Burn the camp down, too. Shoot the guards, shoot that hate-filled broken bitch there, and blow Hayes away. But, that is the kind of thing that you people do. I am not like you. I don’t want to be like you. I come from a different place, you see. I believe in love, honor, and doing unto others as you’d like them to do unto you.”
She heard several whispered comments and caught the word “fag” several times. Grace frowned, raised the AK up to the ceiling and fired a three-round burst. Things got very quiet again after the shrieks from the women. Mrs. Watson was glaring at her with a face full of pure hatred.
“Kindly shut the fuck up while I am talking or I will be quite happy to shoot some of you losers. I’m quite good with guns; I worked at a shooting range once, you know.”
Grace smiled and nodded as the room went dead silent. “That’s better. Now, where was I? Oh, yes, your despicable hate-filled existence. You hate gays, lesbians, and transgendered people. You don’t even know why! You fear us, loathe us, wish us dead, even murder us! All because we are different from you.”
She paused and lit a cigarette, smirking at the audible sniffs and glares from her audience, and then continued. “My best friend in the world was dragged in here and turned into a slave by you people. When she wouldn’t conform, what did you do? You murdered her. You didn’t just shoot her, oh no, you fucking crucified her!“
She bit back a sob and took a deep breath, then glared at the entire congregation and had to mentally calm herself before continuing. They had no idea how close to just blowing every one of them away she really was.
“Most of you people knew what was going on, I am sure!” She pointed at Mrs. Owen. “And some of you deserve to be riding a cross a lot more than Maddy did. Like Mrs. Owen here. You are filled with hatred and not an ounce of compassion. You deserve death far more than my friend did!” Mrs. Owen glared at Grace but didn't respond.
“You are all worthless scum! You knew what was going on in that Camp-From-Hell, and yet you turned a blind eye to it. You are no better than the Germans who lived near the concentration camps and ignored the horrible things going on. No better!” She slapped the podium hard, making the people jump.
“I’ve heard of the ‘banality of evil’, where your average person will embrace doing despicable things to other human beings just because some figure in authority told them to do it. The Nazis who slaughtered eleven million people said that they were merely following orders. You are no different! You let this fat hypocritical fuck that calls himself a ‘reverend’ order your life as he pleased and murder people just for being different!” She kicked Hayes in the crotch and smirked at his wheeze and moaning.
“You all came together under this pig for one reason: hate! Have any of you ever actually READ A BIBLE?! Jesus was all about love and caring for other people and doing unto others. This slime-ball laying here perverted the word of Jesus! And you all followed him! If the Bible is true, don’t you think that Hayes and those of you who followed him are in for it with the Big Guy?”
“Let me share something with you pathetic cretins. Gay, lesbian, and transgendered people are just that: people. None of us asked to be as we are. We just are. But Hayes cherry-picks a few phrases from the Bible and suddenly we deserve death?! I can’t heap enough condemnation upon this pile of shit here. But you people! You should have known better. What is the matter with you all?”
“I wish I could just mow your pathetic bodies down as you deserve; but as I said before, I am not like you. I cherish human life, dignity, and love, and I cannot lower myself down to your level.”
Her eyes bored a hole into each and every one of them. “Ignorance can be fixed, you know. But stupidity is terminal! And you are some of the stupidest people I’ve ever had the misfortune to interact with!”
“So, I am going to do the worst thing that I can do to you worthless hate-filled idiots. I am going to leave you to live your shitty lives. Live with the knowledge of all the murders you were a part of. The lives you helped ruin through your hate and your bigotry. Keep wallowing in your self-righteous bullshit. Waste your lives on hate and idiocy all that you wish. Karma is a bitch, and I hope that each and every one of you finds that out. The rest of our country will move on without you.”
She looked around at the people in the room and didn’t see much in the way of contrition or even sadness over what they’d condoned and been part of. They mostly stared at her with either fear or hatred. She wasn’t particularly surprised to not find any remorse in this bunch. Hayes chose his flock well.
Grace started to step away from the podium but leaned back to the microphone one last time. “Oh, I’d advise all of you very strongly to not show your face outside the door of this place until we are long gone. If any of us sees your ass outside, we will shoot to kill. Fuck you all, and goodbye.”
She flicked her cigarette butt at Hayes and marched down the aisle with Jay right behind her. The Sheriff started to rise when she reached his pew but her rifle swung towards him and he sat back down. He said “You know you won’t get away for long. You’ll be tracked down and go to prison or end up shot. You’re armed and dangerous. You already shot the Reverend.”
Grace didn’t trust herself to respond, fearing she’d become violent. And while holding this rifle that would be a bad thing so she just walked on.
They reached the doors and went out, and she pointed Jay at the old F-150. He nodded, and as they had discussed, he started it and ran it up the steps tight against the doors, barricading the congregation inside.
Luckily for Grace, Hayes had decided that windows would let ‘worldly distractions’ into his church and mess with his captive audience. So, there were no windows. Just the front double-doors and the back door she’d entered by. That door was barricaded shut now, as well.
“That should hold them for a while!”
Emily, Jimbo, and Pete walked away from the church entrance and over to Grace and Jay. Emily smiled. “We heard every word, dear. That was inspiring!”
Jimbo grinned and nodded. “I hope I was just ignorant and not stupid, Grace. I can’t make up for my hate and for…”
Grace shook her head. “Jimbo, the worst you did to me pales beside their overall hatred and bigotry. You changed once you got to know me. You tried to make up for it. That counts a lot, with me.”
Pete asked “What now, Grace?”
“Now, we wait a little while.”
Hours passed, and Grace amused herself by plunking a shot into the roof of the church anytime she heard sounds of someone trying to open the doors. Things always got quiet after that.
Eventually a helicopter appeared and circled down in a field near the church and landed. It was a State Police helicopter. Three men hopped out and walked over to Grace and her motley crew.
“Grace Carson?” the man in aviator sunglasses, suit and tie, and a badge in hand said. Grace nodded. “I’m Special Agent Roy Jackson.” He gestured to the black man at his right. “This is Agent Cal Stevens, ATF.” He gestured left. “This is John Calhoun, Deputy Attorney General.”
They all shook hands with Grace. “So, where are our problem children that you told us about, Grace?”
She smiled and gestured at the church. “They’re in there, just waiting for you guys!”
Grace introduced her group and then said “Emily, give Agent Jackson the tape, please.” Emily pulled out the videotape that Emily had been holding for her.
“That’s the tape I told you of on the phone. I recorded their leaders crucifying my best friend. There’s a clearing deep in the woods where you will find the crosses, a few corpses, and unless I am much mistaken several dozen graves.”
“We’ll make sure justice is served here, Grace. Would all of you be willing to testify in court as to the events here?”
“Damned right we will,” Jimbo answered. Pete nodded, Jay said “Try and stop me.”
Emily said “I have a duty to testify. You just tell me when and where.”
Grace grinned. “I don’t think you will have any problems getting us to talk about this mess, Agent.”
“I am so glad to see you guys!” Grace said. “I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to get anyone to come. The local Sheriff was up to his ears in it, as was his deputies.”
“That’s one of our functions, Grace,” Stevens spoke up. “When the local LEOs are knee-deep in the conspiracy and are in there committing crimes hand-in-hand with the bad guys; the Feds are here to come in and clean house.”
Jackson added “Grace, camps like this have sprung up all over the Midwest and South. In most cases, they stay on the edge of the law and we can’t do anything about it. I am sorry for the loss of your friend. But let me assure you that this particular camp and the crazies who were running it are toast.”
Police and ATF cars and vans began pulling in and discharging officers armed and in full gear. The agents left Grace and her friends and began directing their new arrivals to the church. One agent moved the pickup truck and agents moved in, pistols drawn. Soon, Hayes was led out by two agents. Mrs. Watson and the Sheriff followed.
Grace was pleased to see handcuffs on the unholy trio.
The agents in charge had vanished into an FBI van but soon Agent Stevens came back to Grace. “We watched the tape you provided, Grace. These are some sick people. We’ll get a forensics team into those woods and recover the bodies. I’ll need everyone’s contact information. We will set up a debriefing in a few days with each of you at your convenience.”
Grace nodded and the agent headed back to his team.
“Emily, I am exhausted. I guess I could go to the motel if you’d give me a ride?”
Emily snorted. “You’re coming to my house, Grace Carson. Where you will be pampered and fussed over within an inch of your life!”
Grace looked at Jimbo and Pete and Jay. “What about you guys?”
Jimbo answered, “They can hang out with me at my uncle’s house if they want. He has spare bedrooms.”
The two men looked happy with that arrangement, so Grace smiled and thanked Jimbo.
“I’ll see you all later I am sure. Thank you for helping put an end to this madness.”
Epilogue
It is not tolerable, it is not possible, that from so much death, so much sacrifice and ruin, so much heroism, a greater and better humanity shall not emerge. - Charles de Gaulle
The day was gorgeous with blue skies and bright sunshine. Flowers decorated many of the plots. It truly was a beautiful cemetery.
Grace walked up to the headstone and stood looking at it. It was simple and brought her to tears as she read it.
b. 1964 d. 2004
Gone, but not forgotten
In her hand was a canvas shopping bag. She pulled a quilt out and spread it by the headstone. She then pulled out a bottle of Chardonnay and a wine glass. She grabbed the corkscrew from her purse and opened the wine, then poured herself a glass. Lastly, she lit one of her cigarettes, the 120mm version of Virginia Slims that Maddy always preferred. She sat down on the quilt, tailor-fashion.
“I won’t ever forget you. Every time I smoke one of these I’ll remember you — which will be often! And I will always keep a bottle of this stuff around in your memory as well.”
She took a sip and continued. “You always encouraged me to get my surgery, something you never managed to save up for but wanted to? Well, I am going to do it, Maddy. I hope that you will be proud of me!”
She took the bottle of wine and turned it upside down over Maddy’s grave. “You’d say I just wasted good wine, but I feel that somehow, somewhere, you know that I am sharing your favorite wine with you.”
She sat silently for a while, smoking and sipping the wine. Her thoughts touched on many happy times with Maddy.
“I’ve been busy since getting out of that hellhole. I was accepted at a job out in California, in Silicon Valley! With a good income, and they will help pay for my GRS. I just wish you could be here to share all this with me, honey.”
Grace grimaced and said softly, “You were always a leader, Maddy. I was always the one who stayed in the background and never ever called attention to myself. I had to become a leader, of sorts, to get through this. I had to step forward and make things happen. I’d like to think I followed your examples.”
“All of the inner circle from that horrible place are in jail, now. Hayes will never walk well again. I can’t say I am sorry for that. The Sheriff and Judge are doing time, as well. I hope you can rest in peace, knowing that the evil people who did this to you are in jail. I suppose you could call it justice.”
“I wanted to shoot them Maddy! I wanted to kill them so badly for what they did to you! But, I just couldn’t bring myself to murder. I know that you’d understand and agree with me. We aren’t like them, and we never wanted to become like them, either.”
“I could have killed them, yes. And yes I hate them with every fiber of my being. But, I couldn’t kill them for that hate.”
“I owe so much to you. I am the person I am today because of your love and support. I hope that you knew.”
She tipped the glass and drained the wine inside, then set the glass on Maddy’s headstone.
“I’m going to be leaving now, hon. I’ve got to finish packing and get started moving. I will miss you so much! Goodbye, and know that I loved you, my dearest friend!”
She stood, picked up the quilt and put it away. She decided to leave the wine bottle, standing beside the glass.
The End.
Afterword
I appreciate all comments made and any yet to be made, and of course the Kudos you’ve awarded this story. I hope this story was not too much of a “downer” for this site. I certainly know that it would be a poor fit at some of the other TG sites!
I wrote this story because I felt it needed to be written. Grace’s story is not at all fanciful, magical, or unbelievable. I love fantasy, but Grace’s story just popped out. It is the 21st Century, and we still have people around like Reverend Hayes, Mrs. Watson, et al. Sad, isn’t it?
But, that IS balanced with people like Emily, Pete, Maddy, and Grace herself. In the end, I do believe that love, honor, and respect will win out against hatred.
J.S.
Comments
love is stronger than hate
She made the right choice, and will have a good life, A very good story
Dorothy!
Thank you so much :)
Amazing Grace
I wish I could say that there are not places like this, I would say something else but I know Erin doesn't want Political Messages here so I Be Quite Republican Party!
Richard
Oh, but there are
There are places and people like this.
Look at some Chick tracts (those little comic books they hand out at some fundie churches). You will learn - among other things - that all rock music cassettes (CDs now I guess) are blessed by Satan or Demons and listening to them will corrupt you; all gays/lesbians are possessed by demonic forces (but that doesn't let them off the hook, somehow; playing Dungeons and Dragons will start you on the road to Hell, and reading Harry Potter will turn young girls into witches with demonic familiars.
Jenny, Thank you...
I put off commenting on your story till now, but i have to thank you for this one. There are already places that are a hairs breadth from the 'work camp' you wrote about. i read the true stories of survivors and escapees of "Christian" camps and "schools" all over North America. It would be a very short leap for some of those froot loops to set up a place very much like the one in your tale. It is the reason we all must be vigilant against extremism in all it's forms.
A well written and thought provoking series Jenny... Thank you.
Hugs,
Diana
Diana...
Thank you so much! All blushes and smiles here :)
Yes, there are such camps, truth be told. I've read interviews with people who were forced to attend by their parents. It is scary. Brainwashing, brutality, etc. I purposely slacked on a lot of the brainwashing because honestly there's only so much of that tripe I can type before feeling ill.
I don't think my story was anything outside the "norm" for such places... scary huh?
Really appreciate you reading and commenting :)
Hugs back!
Crying
Hi Jen! That epilogue had me crying, in fact I still am. Great job!
"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin
Aww
Karen,
I am glad that I touched you in such a way. I just write from the heart. It all just came out, really... it kind of feels like I wrote the title and Grace just kind of took it from there!
Hugs!
delete
delete
"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin
Amazing Grace - Chapter 6 - Final
I'd love to see the unholy trio 'enjoying' the attentions of a big brute lover or two. Especially with a post op pastor they must listen to.
May Your Light Forever Shine
unholy trio
Honestly, your author was glad to be shut of them, LOL. Good riddance to them!
I do like the idea of a post-op pastor they'd have to listen to. ;)
Glad you read and liked my story :)
You did the right thing Jenny and posted on BCTS the Best!
Otherwise I wouldn't have seen it!
Love, honor, and respect will win out against hatred, with or without a God!
That gives everybody in this Universe a chance at it!
Wouldn't that be great?
The grave scene was beautifull, that's a good idea - beats flowers,very sad, sniff!
Two things
1. If everybody poured a bottle of Chardonnay over a grave of all victims of this kind we would be up to our knees in wine.
2. There would be a shortage of Chardonnay, what would you recommend?
Thanks Jenny, Great story.
Hugs
Age is an issue of mind over matter.
If you don't mind, it doesn't matter!
(Mark Twain)
LoL
Rita
Chardonnay shortage, eep
Thank you, Rita! And yes, it would be great but all we can do is strive for it.
Two things...
1. This is a bad thing? (being up to our knees in Chardonnay, not the number of victims)
2. Make more! Like, now.
Thanks for your kind words :)
Jenny
This was truly Amazing:)
I'm very glad that the story turned out the way that it did. Nice end scene though.
*Great Big Hugs*
Bailey.
Bailey Summers
Bailey...
Thanks, for inspiration, support, and awesome comments as always :)
Big Hugs!
Grace is such a strong woman
Grace is such a strong woman to have not only endured but come out better from that experience. She has such mercy and... grace that is just so admirable. If I were in her situation I would have shot them all and burned that thing down. Kudos to you Jenny for writing a horror story in the true sense of the word, and a story of triumph at the same time. That's quite a feat,
Thanks, Nina!
I appreciate your comments and I am glad you liked it!
Candy Girl
Ms Sugar, it has taken me a long while to read this series n I have held off commentin til I finally got to the end - I gave up three times along the way but was in the end resolved to see it through did I gain anything from doin so? Not immediately but that don't mean I won't eventually now I have a real hard time with non-consensual violence which might seem real strange for total sub but I pretty much have trouble with non-consensual anythin I mean all my troubles in school basically came down to my problem with non-consensual teachin so wot was happenin in that camp was hard to bear for me as a reader - your justification on the basis that it was just an exageration of similar type camps that exist in reality just made it all the more horrendous to me I also have a problem with any story that uses the holocaust as a reference as it shows a lack of recognition/understandin in the author as anyone who does would never use it ever so sorry to download all my negs first n I've used more lines n I intended - it is a very well written n structured story with originality and is in your face challengin allbeit preachin to the converted but takin bigotry head-on has to be applauded I like to be challenged sometimes as a reader n it's great BCTS gives room for folks to go out on a limb sometimes I can't truthfully say I enjoyed your story but I did find merit in it n it was good enough to get me to read the whole thing eventually I will certainly look out for your next offerin n read at least the first chapter but if it contains the same level of bigotry n non-consensual violence as this one I'll probably not go further the big truth of your story n perhaps the sadest thing of all that left me more n a bit black at the end was the lack of contrition n continued self-justifcation of the congregation after Grace's big speach that was the realest moment in the whole story n it made me cry x k-jo
I was lying down minding my own business when life came by and drove right over me
Thanks!
I do appreciate your comment, K-Jo!
There is way too much of this kind of thing going on in this country. It's the 21st century and yet prejudice and hatred still infest all levels of society. I felt that I had to write this story. And honestly I toned it down a bit from my original thoughts and ideas that gave birth to Grace.
I even toyed with the idea of Grace being an ex-Special Forces soldier who transitioned after leaving the service, and brought her special skills to bear on this bunch. Do they deserve death? Anyone that wastes their short life on nothing but hatred and putting other people through hell do deserve death. But, that doesn't mean that I, or you, or even Grace, is the one to hand it to them. We can only hope that karma catches up with them one day.
Yes, Grace could have went Rambo on them, but... that's not how Grace turned out. Grace found her own way as I went along, and I was pleased at the decisions she made.
I don't know how else to put that! :)
I apologize if mention of the Holocaust sounds as if I trivialize it. Please believe me, I do not. I just see terrifying similarities in the mindsets of the people who persecuted Jews, Gays, and Gypsies - and the people who more or less feel the same way today.
And yeah, the lack of even a drop of remorse among the group in the church should not be surprising you know. I've been around plenty of people like that. These people will not change, ever! Jimbo was an all-too rare exception. Pete was inspired by the horse in Animal Farm. I hope you will see why? ;)
Thanks again for commenting and getting me to reply, I love it :)
Oh, I just posted chapter one of a very different story. No Reverend Hayes in this story, I promise!
Jenny
Oh Jenny...
I just started this story yesterday and I was very fearful for your Heroine as I progressed through it, stopping several times along the way to compose myself. I have just finished reading it, with tears in my eyes. Yes you are correct in that this story needed to be told for I'm sure it could still be occuring in the present times. I was saddend to see they were to late to save Maddy. Grace is an amazing woman, who's courage and fortitude percerveered in the face of adversity. This is a very good story and well written, and I'm glad I found time to read it! Thanks Ms Sugar for posting it. (Hug) Taarpa
TY!
I am glad that you liked my story, and thank you so much for commenting on it!
Bigger than life...
...While there are places in the 'free' world where these things may occur, the sad thing is that hatred in many churches come in other, less intrusive but still insidious forms. As the Apostle John wrote, If anyone says, “I love God,†yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. (I John 4:20) The word 'hate' there is better translated as 'withholding of love'; that inattention and disdain for folks other than 'us.' The ones who allow the poor and disaffected souls to die on the vine rather than nurture and feed and care for them. Tolerating our presence while dismissing who we are is a poor substitute for actually embracing and loving us, aye?
The difficult thing to do in looking at things we find 'unfair' and 'wrong' is to maintain a balance that includes our own need for humility. You've done a good job of showing that; even if some of the reactions might have been strong or even perceived as 'vengeful,' the characters were grossly mistreated and abused, and their own reactions are understandable. My problem with the story is not in the story itself, but my own need to say, "yeah...get 'em good...teach THEM a lesson. I've certainly had times in my life where that actually loomed broadly in my vision, and it still takes a very great deal of effort to resist the temptation to be 'vengeful,' even if it might only be in word or thought. Thank you.
Love, Andrea Lena
retribution, justice, and redemption
Very well said, Andrea. I think it is very human to want both justice AND retribution. But if we are going to live together in a society we must focus more on justice at every opportunity. I cannot say that if I were in Grace's shoes that I would react as well as she did?
Grace was certainly not the type to go on a rampage of death and destruction, even though her emotions demanded it, she rose above it. She sees the hatred and self-loathing inherent in those people and she learns a valuable lesson about life. I am very proud of how Grace turned out.
Jimbo walked the path of redemption, but Grace brought that out in him. I was not certain I handled him well.. when I first drafted his part of the story he was more a clone of Hayes, but as I wrote it he developed his own personality and back-story.
The irony of the whole story is that Grace is more Christ-like in thoughts, deeds, and how she treats people than the entire town put together. I think at some base level the people recognize that and it only fuels their hatred more.
I feel that in another author's hands the story would have been slightly less clumsy, perhaps. And more nuanced. But overall I am happy with it, and happy that it has touched people here.
Thank you for commenting, Andrea :)
Amazing Grace
What can I say,Jenny. Most of what I wanted to say has been said by all the other comments. To be honets when I started the story I could feel where it was going and didn't want to know. I know bigotry and what excesses it can lead to, especially when hand in hand with so-called religion.
However I felt I had to follow Grace in her hellish experiences only hoping that, unlike reality, she would somehow triumph. She does win, thankfully for my peace of mind, but deep within me I know that many others in her place would not. The crucifying, I pray, is just a figment of your brilliant imagination.
Even here in friendly little NZ we have cults that spout hatred in the name of God. How is it that in this lovely little country with a record of being in the forefront of Human Rights we still find violent discrimination being preached in God house? The Human condition is indeed a puzzle.
Ellenz
re: Grace
Ellenz,
Firstly, thank you for commenting!
Yes, I wrote this to illustrate the continuing bigotry and hatred masquerading as religion in this country, and in other parts of the world. I chose to set it in America, since I know the background well, you might say! But, look at Iran, hanging homosexuals, look at Uganda... sadly it is not something that has gone away.
I feel that the crucifying (or some other form of murder) is the likely end result of such hatred. When you brand a group of people as subhuman and not worthy of life, it suddenly becomes all too easy to issue orders to have them liquidated, as has happened before.
Thanks again for your thoughts!