This is just a draft, and as such not very good. But it wants to be written, so I'll write it and see :)
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In the tent Roland was turning restlessly under his covers, tired and cold to his very bones.
Sleep seemed impossible to come by as he laid there, writhing, wandering into a uneasy sleep just to wake up as fast again, alternating between bleak dreams and empty wakefulness. He wasn’t surprised when the sides to the tent parted and Merry come in, he thought that this at least was a better dream than most. She smiled as she came in to stand beside him, bending down to touch his lips with her finger whispering “Did you miss me love?” He looked up at her, unbelievingly, nonetheless memorizing every little line and frown in her face as he mumbled. “Yes, I missed you Merry. Too much, I've missed you.“ a silent joy bubbling up in him as he watched her lithe movements as she looked around, as if in vain searching for something. “I’m sorry Merry" He tried to excuse himself. "I left it on the raft.” Thinking of all that now was burnt, not even the ashes left of her. Awake but with a feeling of being inside a dream he couldn't help wondering. “I thought that yo..” She smiled at him knowingly as she slowly shook her head, lifting up the covers to softly slide down beside him. “That’s the past my love, this is now.” She hesitated, seemingly unsure for a second. “I’m no dream love, I’m here.” He felt her heat enclose his as she moved closer, once more breathing in her fragrance, reminding him of all he ever had valued in this life.
“I’m just happy that you’re back Merry.” he mumbled as she wriggled herself safely into his arms. Finding her body snug against his he felt himself relax, and his knotted muscles at last unwinding. Falling asleep his last remembrance was Merry whispering in his ear “I’m always by your side love, always.” He wasn’t sure if he answered her or not, maybe he just though that he did as he softly drew her closer to him, but it really didn’t matter, it didn’t matter at all.
First daylight presented them with a high clear sky. A crystal clear purple glass bowl of dark purple, with stars still faintly shimmering, the air imperceptibly wandering into a light blue, a blue endlessness opening to infinity. The air felt so clear, and so high, reminding him of a springy young wine. Is it spring he wondered as he stretched under the covers, looking out trough the tent flap, or was it autumn it reminded him of? Roland wasn’t sure. But finding Shadow sleeping he went about fixing their breakfast. He was unreasonably happy as he did it, feeling as if still being stuck in this strange dream. When Shadow at last came out of his tent it was to find the breakfast ready and waiting, Roland smilingly inviting him to dig in. They had their tea in silence, Shadow wondering what had happened with his friend, feeling pleased but confused. As Roland looked out over the desert he felt as if the dunes, marching in a endless procession towards the horizon, suddenly held a promise of something new and better, not whispering about life’s futility only. “A beginning?” He somewhat unbelievingly mumbled to himself as he fastened the rope around the last bag. Hearing him Shadow turned his head, asking. “What? What did you say Roland?” but without getting a reply.
He continued to study his friend as the morning proceeded, observing the newfound spring in his movements, that and that smug smile hovering over his lips. Shadow knew that something had taken place, but what it was he couldn’t say. He was finding himself increasingly disturbed over Roland’s new connection with the soulthirster. He had had heard tales about their dealings, and though little was known about them this much he knew, they were bad tidings for all living. They were said to be able to, although neither living nor breathing, take the shape of all other things, not as him he thought, but in another more sinister way. They somehow could become just that one you missed the most. He remembered the old tales about vampires, but it wasn’t blood those took, it was your dreams, all that made you want to live. He still wondered what had happened in that tent the night before, he had gone over thinking that he heard voices, but looking in he had only found Roland, restlessly moving in his sleep. He had asked him about it as they sat down to their breakfast, but Roland had just shook his head, insisting that he had slept “like a baby Shadow.” Having that infuriating smile on his lips again, mumbling to himself as if having a silent conversation. Pressing him Shadow only found him drawing back into a sullen silence, refusing to speak, and finally giving up they had just sat there, not talking at all, taking their tea in silence.
‘Soulthirster’s aren’t born evil, they’re just like any other animals’, Shadow thought as they left their camp, starting their trek towards that shimmering gray and green mirage floating in the sky like some mirage. To ascribe human values to an alien species was at its height sheer folly, he thought. Themselves formless they lent their shape and purpose from what prey they could find. He unsucessfully tried to draw Roland into a discussion, wanting to remind him of what had happened, but Roland just kept smiling refusing to get drawn into any argument. Traversing one silvery dune after another he could hear Roland’s walking beside him mumbling to himself. With the temperature rising fast, and at last becoming unbearable, they decided to make camp under the shadow of a hastily erected tent, making more tea, waiting out the worst of the day. With nothing much to do Roland idly dusted the sand of one of the bleached bones littering the desert floor, its yellowish color speaking of immense age. Having freed the uppermost portion he and Shadow both looked down at it. Shadow feeling how Roland slowly came back to his senses as he studied the partially revealed bone.
“Looks like a vertebra” pronounced Shadow finally.
“But so big.” Muttered Roland, half in awe, as he looked down on the small part they had uncovered
“Yes, no land animal I ever seen.” Agreed Shadow, thoughtfully wondering what more could be hiding under the sand.
Roland stared at it, trying to imagine the size of the beast it had belonged too. It made no sense he thought, an animal that big had no right existing. “How would it even move?” He shook his head in wonder. Shadow nodded. “I don’t know Roland, its a good question. So immense an animal would surely be crushed by its own weight? But maybe it was different then?” he added thoughtfully. He suddenly felt himself buried under his misgivings, quietly questioning if they ever would get to those mountains, but looking at Roland he decided to keep it to himself.
“Look.”
Shadow looked at the new geometrical shape Roland had found, reminding him of a star, not a real one but one of those simpler shapes kids use to draw. Slowly it dawned upon him where they had to be.
“We’re deep in the abyss Roland.” He said, chuckling softly, as the realization hit him.
“Down the depths of the sea.”
Roland looked around, the dunes majestically marching away from him in every direction, with a newfound interest.
“You mean this is a sea? Was, I mean.” He hastily corrected himself as he looked down at the little petrified fragment he held in his hand.
“A seastar?” he asked hesitantly.
“Something like it, yes.” answered Shadow.
‘You know, time is a wondrous thing Roland.’ Shadow said, watching Roland slowly turning the piece over and over in his hand, waiting for the heat to dissipate into the sand. “Here we are, in the middle of nowhere, at the bottom of what once was a great sea, maybe even an ocean.” In his mind he saw the long gone shapes of those sea creatures idly passing them by as they swum in their invincible ocean again.
“Prisoners of time” He mumbled looking out over the dunes. “That’s where we are Roland, prisoners in time.”
“What?” asked Roland confused.
Shadow looked around, suddenly at his guard. “I don’t know Roland, could it be that we’re at an open timeline, if such exist?”
He stopped, nor really wanting to explain. To explain might widen the fissure he felt them being under, with time everything was uncertain those days. Roland looked at him, his jade green eyes steadily assessing Shadow, realizing how little he really knew about his friend.
“You know, I know she’s gone.” He said abruptly, his gaze sober.
“She’s gone, and I can’t..”
There he stopped, losing his words. He looked down at the little invertebrate as he tried to continue.
“I’m not what I think, and neither are you.” His eyes suddenly young and defenseless, adding. “But there have to be a reason for it, right?” And as his friends eyes searched his for affirmation Shadow found himself forced to look away, knowing the despair hiding in Roland’s question. ‘Yes, a reason?’ he mumbled, loathing his inability to console, searching the sky as for a sign. ‘Wouldn’t it be nice if all happenings had a reason, all endings were good? If all meaningless deaths were linked to some higher cause.’ But he knew deep inside that most happening was without, blind chances taken in dark alleys. Still, in the end it was all a question of how one looked at it.
“Roland, I don’t know what reason would take our Merry from us.” He said at last. As he saw Roland cringe he hasted to continue. “But I believe that we all are bound together, none of us alone, although we all too often perceive it so. “
Roland looked down at the sea star, lifting his head he nodded. “I think I know what you mean Shadow.” He said quietly. “It’s like those times I stand there, balanced in my dreams, between what is and what can be. And I’ve been there too often lately Shadow. I feel her waiting for me, just out of reach, every time I turn my eye inwards.”
Shadow nodded too, he knew all to well what had to go through Roland’s mind recently. To be a dreamer, to shape the balance between what was and what could be. One of the first lessons learnt there was to thread ever so lightly. It was all too easy to misstep, and by doing so change the world irrecoverably, bringing it a difference deeper than the chasm of hell. “My friend, it’s all a mystery. But we’re together in it."
“But it’s all I can.” Interrupted Roland hotly. “I can shape, what’s a gift never used?”
Shawdow's eyes took on an hard adamantine glow as they tried to pierce their way into Roland’s very soul. “Because I can? Haven't I heard that one all too often?" he muttered. "Don’t you think those who created this disaster said much the same?” He asked, making a sweeping gesture with his arm, bringing the silvery sand and yellow bleached bones right into their midst. “To find yourself able, does that cede you the right to do? It’s the worst, most pitiful, excuse I know for doing a wrong.” He stopped to stare at Roland, his eyes piercing as he tried to find out what laid hidden behind Roland's sullen demeanor. “I trusted you to be better raised than that my friend?” he admonished him at last, almost questioningly.
“I know.” Roland muttered stung by the injustice of it all, still finding himself unable too meet Shadow's eyes. “But, I think I meet her?” He finally whispered. A burning twisted intensity took hold of his voice as he looked up. ”Shadow, I think Merry came to me last night.”
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