(Revised and reposted)

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Sunday morning was really nice, all quiet and normal.

Around ten Carson and Jerri (and their parents too, I guess) called and invited us all over to dinner. Well, Carson called. But they all did the invite. We all conferred on both ends of the call and Mom and Dad said they'd be delighted and Val said she could and pretty well everyone was on one of the phones one time or another.

Then, when we finally had the call to ourselves, Carson was quiet for a little bit. I just waited.

"You looked beautiful last night...." She sounded shy for some reason. It made me smile, even more.

"You too. You're always beautiful." I could hear her try to do the routine and I laughed after I heard how we'd messed it up.

Then there was that silence again. I could hear her take a breath.

"Umm.... Mom, she, well... Jerri told her, Mom and Dad, all about, about, um, you, your... Val's skirt and all...." She got so quiet and slow I started to lose track. Then I thought I got it.

"They want to see me? Like that?" I almost laughed, since I was still wearing Val's long nightie under my housecoat.

Carson was quiet a few seconds, so yeah.

"Yeah... no! I mean..." She almost squeaked. A deep squeak.

"I mean, they didn't say... ~say~ that, but...." She breathed a deep breath.

"Could..." Deeper breath.

"... I mean, if you want, or if it's okay... but I'd like to see you again, too, I meanIstillwouldbut - ah - Ireallyreallyliked... the... way... I guess...." She stopped. I grinned at her, the way I knew she looked just then.

"Could you... please?"

She was ~so~ cute!

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Dad kept smiling funny and laughing at us all morning up 'til we went upstairs to find clothes, but Val said he was just happy, and since everyone seemed to be, I thought, too.

Mom said we couldn't do anything silly, and Jerri called about five times to ask what we'd be wearing so she could be the same, I guess, but Val said the only way we could coordinate with her was black, or black and white. After the last call.

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I ended up in Vals 'business-dressy-dress' that she'd bought once for an interview. It was white but was almost this shimmery grey with a million tiny black polka dots all over and a wide black belt, and the skirt part was roomier than her fifties skirt, so it was nice that way. It was just as long too, so my leg was covered as much, even if I felt naked because it was so light, compared.

It had short sleeves too, and wearing a skirt is cold, even with a slip thing, so Val loaned me her best white sweater but she said I couldn't eat anything messy with it on 'cause it was half silk and cleaning it would cost more than she paid for it.

And she said it was a summer dress, but I didn't see how ~any~ dress could be warm. And she just made a face when I asked if she had a winter dress I could wear instead.

-

Val wore a black skirt and white shirt she said were her waitress uniform, even though she's never been a waitress, except at McBurger. And that uniform was mostly blue.

-

"Your dad's almost ready, are you two set?" Mom looked around the corner of the door.

Val was just finishing her hair, making it something like mine, she said, and kinda sighed and pulled the plug on her curling iron rod thing. "I guess.... Do you think this looks dumb? The layers won't hold the same wave...."

Mom came in and looked more, or closer anyways, but she said no, it looked great, and asked if? and Val said do your worst and Mom just used a round brush and spray, but Val said thanks, it looked way better! Or more like me, I guess. Even if Val said I just had a straight cut now, and she curled it up and then ~she~ had to....

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Mom had on a black skirt and sweater and pearls and she said we all matched, and Val was almost as excited as Jerri got. But I guess we did, sort of, and it was fun, really.

Dad was impressed, I could tell, even if Val made him say, as if she couldn't see too.

And she made him put on a nice shirt instead of a polo. She said "so he wouldn't bring shame down upon us...." and he broke up.

But he changed, and even into a tie.

-

Mom called Carson's mom, to warn her, she said.

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It was just like Val's grad.

Dad changed ~again~ and wore a suit after all, 'cause he said we were showing him up, and he pre-warmed the car up and when it was ready he came in and held out his elbows and Val and I each took one and he led us out to the car and opened the doors and all and then he went and got Mom the same and we all made a production out of smoothing out skirts and all and Val draped my sweater just ~so~.

-

Dad started to laugh too hard to drive and had to pull over for a minute after Mom said we had to quiet down, or else we'd just turn around and go right back home....

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Nobody came out to meet our car, so we all posed together on the front steps and then Val rang the bell and jumped back to her place.

Val and I were in front, in front of Mom and Dad who each had a hand on our shoulders. Val held my hand, too, and whispered I should act "demure."

We heard footsteps right then and ~Dad~ started to giggle... and Val and Mom both sort of slapped at him.

Carson opened the door right then.

She had on her best stuff, I think, this really great shirt she got for her birthday that she never wore before and only showed me once and said it wasn't like her.... It was like a dress shirt, but not? Like not for a tie? And she looked incredible in it. Just beautiful. It was a pale, light green that looked perfect with her eyes.

And she had makeup on!!

I guess I totally messed up Val's family-picture-tableau kinda idea, but... but Carson had on dark mascara! And some brown or copper color eye shadow and even some eyeliner and she looked fantastic! She kept trying to say stuff about me but she was so beautiful I couldn't even hear right.

-

"Told ya!"

We looked over and Val was standing beside us and doing like a 'Vanna presents' wave and both our parents, I mean, like all four of them, were laughing. Before I could get mad, Val grinned and gave me a hug, and Carson too, sort of.

"I was just saying you'd be too excited to notice the rest of us, is all." She smiled more. "Like that was hard?"

She looked at Carson more, at her shirt and face. "You do look really nice, like that." She smiled her sister smile and Carson blushed her head off and tried to look small.

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As soon as Jerri had finished dancing around and laughing at how we all matched (she had on fancy Goth black skirt and a white tank-top thing, but nicer than that) and Mr. and Mrs. Donner had said more kinda formal hellos and how good we looked and given me hugs and all, Carson pulled me half way up the stairs.

She whispered that her mom was going on about how she was afraid we were "going too fast" and stuff and she was gonna talk to me, and she didn't think so! And she kissed me to prove it.

As if I needed proof.

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About a half hour later when we were all sitting around their living room and having about four different conversations while some last thing was finishing cooking, Mrs. Donner started making a kind of big deal about the dress and my hair all again, and did almost the exact same thing as Brenda and Val, with me balancing so my crutches and cast didn't ruin the look.

She was as nice as could be, but then she asked me to come with her alone in their dining room and talk with her for a minute. I pretty much figured out it was what Carson had said, about us going too fast. I'd been thinking about what I could say, or what she would.

She pulled out one of the chairs at the table and the one beside it, and waited 'til I sat down before she did. She kinda faced sideways from me, and looked at her hands.

"You know, dear, Carson is... in love, with you?"

She looked sad, as if that was bad. As if none of any of the stuff that had happened all summer and fall were any good. I didn't understand how she could be different than I thought...

"I am too, Miz Donner. I really love her."

She just looked like she was thinking, and saying what she was thinking, and not listening to me.

"She's... changed... a great deal, so much lately, you know, and might not be the same person-"

"But she hasn't! She's the same, except happier, and she talks more and she's more... more herself! But she's the same as she ~ever~ was since I've known her, like for years!"

She looked at me then and I suddenly understood what she meant, from the way she looked more at me.

"I knew I liked her when I thought she was a boy, but I fell in love with her, now... with, with her now, when... now when she can talk and be herself more and that she's not afraid anymore, but I think she's the ~same~, I mean, really the same as before, and it's ~me~ that's changed."

I tried to put it really clearly. And look adult. Val told me I should keep my knees together, knee to cast, anyway, even if it was almost impossible on that chair, but I still sat up straight and... tried.

"I was afraid, before, to be... to tell anyone what I really thought, or felt, and the accident kinda changed how I saw people...." I turned a bit sideways, towards her, to make my hip better.

"But it was Carson who showed me it was okay, that it was... it wasn't bad to cry, or to hug, or say... what I think...."

I started to feel like if I didn't convince her, make her see, that Carson wasn't too new to be trusted, or too young - too new a girl to make big decisions... so she might say we couldn't be together. Even with what Carson had said, I hadn't thought it all through before, really.

"I'm like her." I looked right in her eyes. "I'm not exactly the same, but I'm transgendered. And I know I wasn't hiding my... girl... parts, maybe, before now..." I got sad, thinking it all, like a flash. Her and Carson and Paul....

"I was... I was afraid to love anyone, except my family, and maybe them too, like a grownup." A bigger idea came.

"I was like a little kid before, my sister says, she says I still. . .still act like I am now, but it was 'cause I wasn't being grownup before, about other people, to people."

I looked in her eyes, trying to make her see.

"I love Carson, but not just 'cause she's here for me, now. I... if I could...." I took a breath. I felt shaky, but knew what to say.

"If I broke my leg a year ago, if she never told me anything about being a girl for the whole time, if I could've learned this about myself then, I'd have loved her, too." I tried to smile, because I just had the best thought. What Mrs. Donner would understand even more than Carson being a new girl.

"I'm getting better really fast now, every day. And I love her more, all the time. And when I'm all better, and walking like everyone else, I'll just love her more, stronger. I love your daughter, Miz Donner. With all my heart."

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Carson was scared something bad had happened, but I told her I was just stressed out, and that her mom might still think we were going too fast, but it was okay.

And her mom hugged me really hard after, so it wasn't bad, for sure.

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Jerri made us all pose for pictures and there must have been a hundred by the time Mom said it was way too cold out for what I was wearing after my teeth started to chatter. Even if it ~was~ fun.

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Dinner was delicious, and Mrs. Donner made me feel like there really ~wasn't~ a problem, the way she was, and I think Carson got it too, 'cause we had a great time laughing and fooling with Val and Jerri and even our Dads.

After, Mrs. Donner loaned me a big coat and Carson and I sat on the front steps and talked and messed up our makeup. And after a half hour or so I suddenly got so cold so fast Carson had to carry me in. I said, anyways.

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When we were getting ready to head home and Dad had already warmed the car up (it was only three degrees above freezing!) Mrs. Donner hugged me and whispered that she could see how in love I was with her daughter, and we should still take it slow and careful, because those were the very best relationships.

I started to cry, and it took me a second to remember that Mom had told me the very same thing, a long time ago. I kissed her cheek and promised. And said thank you.

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End of Part 28