Kevin sat on the edge of his bed and let himself fall backwards.

“Tomorrow...”

Tomorrow would be the day he and Kim would leave to bootcamp. He didn't want to leave. He tried confessing his feelings several times since his father told him, but he couldn't overcome his fear of rejection. What would he say, anyway? Am I a boy with a desire to look like a girl? Maybe a crossdresser? Or is it more than that? Am I actually a girl trapped in a boy's body, a transsexual as they call it, or it could be something in between.

Kevin had looked up a lot of information about transgendered stuff, but he was still confused where he fitted, partly because he didn't really want to know, he might not like the answer. All he wants is to be normal, at least he thinks he does. He let out a big sigh and pushed himself upright so he could finish packing his luggage of doom.

When he was almost finished he thought about calling Kim. “Kevin? Are you in your room?” his mom yelled upstairs.

He didn't feel like replying, but didn't want to upset his parents this close to his departure to hell. He needed their support.

“Yes, mom!” he finally shouted back.

His mother answered right behind his door, “Kim's on the phone, he'd like to know if he could come over to play some videogames, this being the last day for you two to just be lazy.”

“Heh, that's funny. I just wanted to call him.” Kevin said to his mom, while opening the door.

He took the phone from his mom and closed the door again.

“Hey, Kevie!” Kim answered

“Are you psychic?” Kevin asked.

“Huh? er... I heard you talking to your mom and knew the pause was her giving the phone to you, so... no I'm not psychic.” he said with a little laugh.

“I didn't mean that, you goof! It's just that I though about calling you and suddenly here you are calling me.”

“Ooooh that! Well yeah, didn't you know that soul mates are linked together?”

“Soul mates?”

“Yes, soul mates, two people who are...”

“I know what soul mates are! I just wondered why you say we are.” Kevin answered a bit irritated.

“Sheesh! You don't need to get mad over that. I just thought that after that night we... you know... are kind of...together?” Kim stammered through the phone.

“Uhm, Kim... it was one kiss. I don't think it makes us soul mates.”

“But you liked it! I know you did! The way you kissed me was amazing!”

Kevin blushed furiously, “I...I didn't kiss you! You kissed me!”

“Well, you definitly kissed back and not just a little I might say. And I'm pretty sure that second kiss was initiated by you.”

Kevin just sat there red as a beat, suddenly aware that his mother might not have left and could be standing behind his door hearing everything. So he started whispering, “Look I don't want to discuss this over the phone, I...”

“You're right,” Kim interupted, “I'm coming over right now and we'll find out if we are or aren't soulmates.”

“Wait, that's not what I...” Kim had ended the call, “...meant.”

Kevin let himself fall back on his bed once again with a deep sigh. “Great...”

He picked up one of his stuffed animals. He was never able to give them away, they had too much emotional value. He used to tell them anything and everything going on in his life. Kevin looked his oldest stuffed animal, a weird dog of some sort, in the eyes. “I'm so not ready to explore where my sexual preference lies.”

DING DONG

“Kevin could you get that.” Kevin's mother asked from the kitchen, though it sounded more like an order.

“Get what, Mom?” He asked, pretending nothing happened.

“You know what. It's probably Kim, so it's for you anyway,” His mother answered and added, “Oh, and lunch will be ready in ten minutes, so stay indoors.”

Kevin got off the couch with more than a little reluctance. If it was really Kim at the door, things were bound to happen. Things he didn't feel so comfortable exploring, though he couldn't deny that somewhere deep down he was actually getting excited about it.

God, I hope I'm not blushing. He'd never let it go unnoticed. Kevin said to himself when he reached the door. “Here goes nothing” He said and took a deep breath before opening the door.

“Hey cutie!” Kim said when he saw it was Kevin who opened the door.

“Cut it out, will ya!” Kevin whispered, starting to blush.” My mother is in the kitchen and I really don't want her to start asking uncomfortable questions.”

“Where's your dad?” Kim asked.

“At work, why?” He asked suspiciously.

“Well, with your dad out, your mom in the kitchen...”

Kevin eyes went wide, while his blush began to spread over his entire face, “Oh no! No, no ,no!” He said while turning around heading for the living room. “I'm really not in the mood to find out anything and besides, lunch will be ready any minute now.”

Kim stopped Kevin by grabbing his shoulders and turning him around so they stood face to face. Kevin was still blushing hard, while Kim just looked at him with a big smirk. “Well then, we just have to hope she will call us, instead of coming in here without warning.”

Kevin tried to say something, but before he could Kim was kissing him full on the lips. Whatever he wanted to say to him was now forgotten. He even forgot that his mother could just burst in on them when Kim opened his mouth and started to lick his lips. Almost automatically Kevin opened up and let his tongue enter him.

Never has he ever felt like this, but then again he never had tried to even kiss someone on the cheeck besides family members. And those definitely weren't arousing, and were so unlike what Kim was doing with him right now.

He could feel Kim was getting aroused as well, feeling something hard against his pelvis. He hadn't realised they were intimately pressed together, embracing eachother while kissing with a passion he never knew existed within him. Though his own arousel started making his male parts acting up as well, which always made him increbily uncomfortable.

He pushed Kim out of their embrace, immediatly breaking the spell Kim had put on him with that incredible kiss.

“Lunch is ready,” Kevin's mom said entering the living room, where she saw Kim smiling brightly while her son turned around looking really embarrased.

“Uhm... Is something wrong, Kevin?” she asked.

“Oh, uh nothing mom,” He said averting all eye contact, “Kim's just being an ass.”

“Kevin! I don't want to hear such words in our household,” His mother said sternly, forgetting the strange atmosphere she just witnessed between Kevin and Kim. She walked back in the kitchen.

“That was close,” Kevin said while letting out a sigh of relief.

“Why did you stop?” Kim asked.

Kevin just looked at Kim flabbergasted. After a couple of awkward seconds he said, “You want my mom to find out about us?”

“So it's us now?” Kim said smiling.

“What? No, that's not what I meant! Stop twisting my words around!” Kevin said now getting a little red from anger instead of blushing.

“Aw, come on! You know you're lying if you say that kiss meant nothing to you,” Kim pushed the subject a little harder. “So why not try? Why not try and be a couple?”

“Because I'm not gay!” Kevin yelled a little loud. His hands flew towards his mouth to stop him from saying anything else, while he looked around to see if his mom had heard him.

“So that's why you kissed me so passionately.”

“You kissed me!” Kevin started again, but now whispering loudly.

“OK, OK,” Kim said raising his hands as if in defeat. “But you definitely kissed back like last time and don't tell me you didn't enjoy it.”

“I'm not saying that.” Kevin said a bit frustrated.

“Then just accept that you're gay, like me. It's really not that big a deal.” Kim tried to reason with Kevin.

“No, I'm not gay. I can't be gay, it's... I... it's complicated, you wouldn't understand.” Kevin said a little desperate and with a pained look.

“Try.”

“Try what?” Kevin asked.

“Try to make me understand,” Kim said, “Kevin, I... I love you. I've always loved you. Since we were just kids, I've had feelings for you.”

Kevin just looked at Kim in astonishment. His best friend liked him, loved him. And not just since that first kiss. Well at least kevin's first kiss.

“You, you... Like me? Kevin asked

“I don't just like you Kevin, I love you. I love you with all my heart. I thought my feelings were gone after a while. But since that kiss they all came flooding back. You make me feel so, so... complete. Like a soulmate.” Kim said, “So whatever is bothering you, whatever you mean with me not being able to understand, at least give me a chance to try to understand. Tell me what's making you say such confusing things. I love you. I will listen to you.”

Kevin looked at the ground thinking. Could he? Could he really tell Kim, his best friend who believes they're soulmates? Could he tell him his biggest secret? His desire to be a girl? Will he understand?

He raised his head and looked in Kim's eyes, “After lunch.” he said, “After lunch I- I will show you.”

Kim took a step towards Kevin and hugged him. Slowly Kevin brought his arms up to return the hug, closing his eyes.

“I promise you, I'll be there for you. Whatever it is.” Kim whispered in his ears.

They let eachother go and went to have lunch with Kevin's mother, who was probably getting impatient.

ps: My apologies for such a late update, I've been having a little writer's block. Combine that with my rather low concentration skills (my psy thinks I have ADD), it took me a while to start writing again. (I know I'm making lame excuses, but it's better than none ^_^')

oh, and feel free to comment! I <3 comments ^^