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“He wants to go to the funeral!” Kevin's mom yelled loud enough for him to hear, even though he was upstairs in his room with his door closed.

“He killed that guy! I don't think his family wants to see him!” his father screamed back.

“He didn't kill him!”

“But he's dead anyway, he could've just as well just killed him there and then!”

“It wasn't his fault!”

“No! It was the gang's, right? Sorry to burst your bubble Cindy, but he was part of that gang.” His father countered.

His mom just stared angrily at him for a while, and eventually said, “If it wasn't for Kim he would never have even thought about joining them.”

Kevin's father sighed, “So what? He can't see Kim anymore? He's the only friend he's got.”

“He has lots of friends at school,” Cindy answered.

“And who says that? Kevin? Don't tell me you believe him, if he did, he would actually go out or invite some over at the least. He has no friends beside Kim and even though I don't like him, especially after influencing Kevin to join that stupid gang, He needs him,” his father slumped into the couch. “The only time Kevin smiles is when Kim's around. You can't take away this little happiness he has. That's no punishment, that's just cruel.”

“Well I never said he couldn't see him again...” his mom answered quietly. “But that boy... and our own, need some guidance in their lives, I mean if the parents of Joshua didn't believe it was actually Andy and Micheal's fault, Kim and our son would've been sent to juvie...”

Kevin's dad did agree on that, but that wasn't the main problem right now. “I still don't think it's a good idea to go to the funeral.”

Cindy sat right beside her husband and took his hand in hers, “But it would give him some closure, Joshua's death is hurting him, as he blames himself.”

After a moment of silence, Kevin's dad squeezed Cindy's hand and reluctantly agreed to let their son go to the funeral.

[][][]

Meanwhile Kevin was softly crying in his pillow. If he didn't want to spend more time with Kim so desperately, if he didn't had this urge for social interaction to at least talk to someone who didn't think he's weird... then he never would've joined that gang. And if he didn't join it, he would never had to beat up that innocent boy. So what if he's gay, it's not like he did anything bad because of it. He just wanted to be himself.

That was something Kevin understood just all too well. He wasn't gay, at least he didn't think so. He never really had any interest in anyone, though what happened on the same night as that horrible one, was still giving him butterflies in his tummy. He didn't really try to think of it too much, he was too occupied trying to figure himself out. As you know, he wasn't really mister macho, actually there wasn't anything really masculine about him, besides being a boy that is.

Alas, that was Kevin's biggest problem, he didn't know if he really was a boy. No, he wasn't intersexed or something, but he did dress up in his sisters clothing from time to time. His sister was three years older than him and in college, which gave him a lot of opportunities to dress up in her clothes. Though he was rather tall compared to most girls (5 foot 9), his sis was the same length as him, which made it a little easier for him to dress up. With some make-up on and the right clothes he looked quite convincing as a girl even if it was a tall one, then again his sis was too. Though there definitely would be people who would be able to tell he wasn't a real girl, so going out was a no-no.

Of course he tried to convince himself this was all just a phase and it might just all go away if he finds himself a girlfriend. The problem here was that he wasn't really interested in a relationship, not as a boy at least. Most of the time he tried not to think about this strange desire to be a girl, if he ignores it enough it might go away too. He really wanted to just be a normal boy like Kim, but he knew he wasn't, what boy would daydream about being one of the girls? And wishing to be a girl every time something happened you could wish upon, wasn't really helping him in trying to be a normal boy.

So all in all, he knew how hard it was too hide your feelings, and really wanted to be as brave as Joshua to be true to his feelings, but the sound of rejection, humiliation and being beaten, made him keep this secret from everyone, even Kim. If he lost Kim's friendship he truly would be alone. Yes, he'd still have his parents, but they act as parents not friends...

[][][]

Being lost in his thoughts he didn't hear the door to his room open and his mom entering and sitting on the edge of the bed, “Hey, kiddo,” his mom said, smiling a little, “I got your dad to agree. You'll be able to go to Joshua's funeral.”

Kevin got his face out of his pillow and looked up at his mom, “Thanks, Mom. I- I really need to... tell them... I didn't mean-”

“I know, Honey, I know. And we'll be right beside you, so no need to be scared, OK?”

Kevin sat upright and hugged his mom tightly. “Oh Mom,” He cried out, “I never wanted for this to happen, I just wanted to spend more time with Kim. If I knew they- they would plan that, I-I-,” He couldn't finish what he was saying, it was all getting to be to much for him. His mom just held him while rocking him forth a little bit and making small shushing sounds.

[][][]

Three days later, they went to the funeral. They stayed just briefly to offer their condolences and for Kevin to make his all important apology. They accepted it, however they still held him partly responsible for what happened to their beloved son, even though they knew Kevin never wanted anything of this to happen.

They heard the story from all four boys, but believed that Kevin and Kim were speaking truthfully, especially since they've seen and got to know both boys a little at a party of their son's fifteenth birthday.

Kim didn't show up on this day of grief, so Kevin apologized in his place knowing his friend would do the same for him. When they got home, Kevin just went straight to his room where he let himself fall on his bed with a deep and heavy sigh.

[][][]

A couple of minutes later his dad entered, “Hey, son.”

Kevin really hated that word, but he never told his parents about his feelings, so he couldn't really blame them, “Hey, Dad.”

His father sat himself on the chair at his desk. “You did good at the funeral. Especially when you apologized for Kim, too.”

“He would've done the same for me,” Kevin answered absently.

“Yes, he probably would,” his father said. “Son, we care about you, you know that right?”

He waited until Kevin took the effort to nod, “We don't want this to happen again, we don't want you to have to... go through this again.”

“Don't worry, Dad. I'm never going outside again anyway.”

His dad just sighed, “That's part of the problem Kevin, you need social contact, everyone does. Isn't that why you followed Kim into that gang?” Kevin just lowered his head in shame, remembering where that action lead to. “You need to learn how to interact with others, so your mom and I came up with an idea to help you.”

That got Kevin's attention, learn to interact with others? They wouldn't... would they? Before he could ask what he meant by that, his father told him, “We're sending you to a camp-”

“NOT A BOOTCAMP?” Kevin interrupted his dad.

“Well it's not a bootcamp, it's a rehabilitation program for kids who have problems functioning in society, both your mother and I think this is the best way for you to go.”

“NO! I'll do anything, anything you want daddy, don't send me to a bootcamp, I'll be eaten alive!”

“Don't overreact! It's not like you see in the movies, they actually care about you and will try their best in helping you become more social and better person.”

“Better? Do you really think I'm that horrible, Dad?!” Kevin asked with tears filling his eyes.

“No, but you do need some guidance in your life that your mom and I can't give. And don't worry, you'll not go alone. Kim will go with you. His parents agreed on it too. You won't be alone, though we do hope you'll make some friends over there.” His father said with a genuine smile.

“But, Dad! I can't! Please don't send me, there are other ways, If I can just- can just...” Kevin fell silent, he wanted to say if he could just be himself, his true self, but then he had to explain to him what he meant by that and he wasn't ready for that yet. What if they didn't believe him? Or worse, maybe they'll see him as a freak and won't even talk to him. At least they wouldn't beat him, because his parents didn't believe in violence. Telling them could get him out of this 'rehabilitation program' as they call it. In the end though, he couldn't bring it up.

After a while where neither of them said anything, his dad got up and said, “You'll thank us one day, son. Just give it a chance.”

[][][]

Kevin just stared at the floor, trying his best to keep from crying. When his dad got out of his room and shut the door behind him, Kevin let the tears go and cried. Lately, it seemed like this was all he could do.

At least Kim would be there, he'd protect him from the others.

Thanks To Stanman63 For Editing

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To Be Continued...