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By Sarah S! Synopsis: This story finds place inside the mind of an mtf transexual. It's a story I've written in a more darker period of my life. |
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Trapped inside, there seemed no way out. Even if she did get out of these chains, how was she ever to escape a room with no door, not even a window? It was strange though that she could still see the large dark room while there was no sign of anything that could give even the slightest bit of light, but that wasn’t her main concern.
“What the hell is going on?!” she yelled strongly, “Anyone?! Let me out of here!!!”
But no one seemed to answer. She knew that probably no one would be able to hear her. From the looks of it, these walls were made of huge stones, so sound probably wouldn’t get through no matter how hard she yelled. Yet, she continued screaming, because it was the only thing she could do, being chained to a wall…
“Someone, get me the hell out of here! Anyone! Please!” she stopped for a moment to catch her breath, screaming for what seemed hours, made her a bit exhausted,
“Please… help me,” she gasped. In the little space the steel chains allowed her, she let herself fall on her knees, giving herself some time to rest.
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Minutes? Hours? Days? How much time had passed since she woke up here? Time seemed to lose it’s value, she felt as if she spend her whole life in here. She tried to remember what happened that caused her being locked in this cold empty room, but couldn’t recall it. In fact she couldn’t remember anything!
Why the hell can’t I remember my life?! Have I really been in this room my entire life? When did I grow up then? Did I grow up?
She looked down at her body, but wasn’t able to see if she was a grownup or not.
What is going on?! I look at myself, I see myself, yet at the same time I can’t see myself?! what is happening to me? Am I losing my mind or is this all a dream?
Yes, that must be it! I’m dreaming, that makes perfect sense!
“Wake up girl! It’s a dream, wake up! Let this horrible nightmare end now!” nothing happened, “Come on, you stupid bitch, wake up! Let me out of here!"
There still seemed no sign of anyone or anything that could even point towards being rescued from this hell.
“Please!!!” she screamed while tears began to fill up her eyes, “let me out, I…I don’t know how long I can take this, anymore,” she cried.
She wanted to wipe her face with her hands, but the chains didn’t allow that. And even if they would, she probably didn’t have enough strength left to bring her hands towards her face.
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Eternity… That’s how long I’ve been here. There is no one who will come rescue me. I’m doomed to stay in this room forever, there is no way out.
She stared at the ground as if it wasn’t even there, her gaze looked as dead as she felt.
If there was only a way to end this all-
The moment those thoughts crossed her mind, she felt horribly sick. She was choking, and suddenly had to throw up, but what came out wasn’t what she expected.
Blood? Am… am I… am I dying?! Am I really dying?!
She didn’t feel nausea anymore. What she felt was like no drug could ever make her feel. The ecstasy of dying, the joy of finally being able to find that peace she yearned for so long… she was finally getting her wish, to leave this place once and for all…
The ground became more and more blurry. Her eyes slowly began to close. A last tear came falling out of her eyes onto the darkening floor, but this wasn’t a tear of sadness, no…
This was a tear of joy.
The End
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Comments
A Tear Of Joy
A dark, yet hopeful story which I hope does not come to pass.
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
Yes
I lived in that place for many years.
This is too real...
...I've had times where I wanted to just crawl up into God's lap and fall asleep forever. Overwhelmingly sad... the hope here, I fear, is maybe she wakes up. Thank you.
She was born for all the wrong reasons but grew up for all the right ones.
Con grande amore e di affetto, Andrea Lena
Love, Andrea Lena
Thank you for the wave off.
I am sorry Princess. I really like your writing, but I just can not read about things this dark, or I will likely just go there.
K
Sarah, Thank God this was a darker time...
[email protected] ...in your life. I'd hate to think that it was anything current, let alone present. The despair is palpable. I know that it's something we've all felt.
The fact that you were able to put it into words, and share it with us, is a true testament to the strength of your character.
Someday, I hope to be able to contribute a story or more myself. So far, I haven't been able to get through the first paragraph. It just hurts too much. Maybe I'm starting at the wrong place. I just don't know.
Thanks for sharing,
Hugs,
Jonelle
[email protected]
I've felt like this
but there is a way out of the prison. Its not an easy road, but one can at least try, right?
Dorothycolleen, member of Bailey's Angels