I didn’t feel good about what I’d done. Strike that. I felt absolutely awful about what I’d done, what Jimmy and coach Morrison had encouraged me to do even when I knew in my soul it was wrong. I‘d damn near killed that poor girl. Her punctured lung and compound fracture were entirely the result of my insanely hard hit, a hit I knew I should have pulled because I saw the kick go clean…
The infection and blood poisoning and the other surgeries and the six months she spent in the hospital were my fault and if anyone had even thought about prosecuting me for them I would have gladly plead guilty. Nothing like that happened though. What did happen was a summer where no one saw her, or him or whatever.
I mean, I’d heard about the prom and I’d visited her in the hospital and there was no question in my mind that this person was all girl. She’d lost so much weight and looked frail. I asked if I could hug her because I was actually afraid I would break her somehow. When I told her I was just like her but not so brave and really huge and ugly anyway we cried together for like hours.
That made today so much harder. Somehow, according to the rules of being a guy, I was supposed to stand here and look impassive. I couldn’t do it.
I stood in front of her grave. Suddenly I made up my mind. Then I opened my mouth.
“I can’t even begin to express what I feel today. The courage Teddi showed us in her life was something no one could ever forget. A steadfast friend to everyone who knew her, a faithful lover for her man, and a damn fine football player. In my mind, she was more of a man than the biggest toughest guy here.”
“The only reason I’m standing here is because Craig’s mom asked me to. Craig won’t be here this afternoon. Well, ok that’s not quite true, Craig will be here in a while, but most of you probably won’t. You see, when Teddi died, Craig couldn’t handle it. He killed himself and left a note requesting that they be buried together. His mom agreed. I do too. I have never in my life met two people who were more in love, or who more rightly deserved a long and happy life together.”
"When I said the only reason I’m standing here is because I was asked to, I meant that I am ashamed. I’m not ashamed to be here, not ashamed to give this eulogy, except in one way. I am ashamed of the way I thought. I am so beyond humiliated to think that I had the thoughts that I had 6 months ago.”
“None of that, the guilt or anything, means a damn thing right now. I’m 18 years old and I have to bury the only friend I’ve ever had in my life and its because I was a bigoted asshole and hurt her because I could. You motherfuckers made this world and taught me to be like this and I hate each and every fucking one of you with every fiber of my being! I hate you and she hated you too but she was too beautiful of a person to ever say it.”
“I am transgendered like her, but I know I’d never stand a chance. She might have been kinda tall and strong enough to go head to head with the biggest linebacker, but we all heard about her prom and a few like me were so jealous. She had no clue what would happen today and I honestly don’t think she would approve, but really, now, I think her gentle way of making a point is just not enough. Listen, and please take it to heart.”
My finger pushed the play button and the opening notes thundered out.
I heard a few gasps as I pulled my grandfather’s sidearm out of my pack. The subdued click of the trigger mechanism. Strangely enough the very beginning of the noise…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBqU8FOE0uk
I've been lonely
I've been waiting for you
I'm pretending and that's all I can do
The love I'm sending
Ain't making it through to your heart
You've been hiding, never letting it show
Always trying to keep it under control
You got it down and you're well
On your way to the top
But there's something that you forgot
What about love
Don't you want someone to care about you
What about love
Don't let it slip away
What about love
I only want to share it with you
You might need it someday
I can't tell you what you're feeling inside
And I can't sell you what you don't want to buy
Something's missing you got to
Look back on your life
You know something here just ain't right
What about love
Don't you want someone to care about you
What about love
Don't let it slip away
What about love
I only want to share it with you
What about love
Don't you want someone to care about you
What about love
Don't let it slip away
What about love
I only want to share it with you
Oh love
Oh oh what about love
Yeah
What about love
Love love love
What about what about love
Oh love
Comments
What About Love?
Is a very scary story, INDEED! THIS is one story where any outcome is extremely sad, unless the author has some other way to continue the story.
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
There's a line we draw in
There's a line we draw in our heads that defines where we think we stand - often it is not drawn totally by ourselves but also by our peers and parents.
Only when we step over that line do we learn who we really are, what defines us and what keeps us whole.
Sometimes stepping over that line destroys everything that we understand - and to continue, we have to rebuild our 'id' completely.
If we cannot, then continuing is no longer an option.
Some of us have teetered on that line and seen awful things and done things we never thought we could.
Some of us came through, some of us did not. None of us came through unscathed.
Thank you for your story, not all have happy endings.
Jenny
XXXHUGz
Like Stan said this deeply sad.
But it has all the earmarks of reality. How many bullies will it take for the world to finally realize that you don't have to be a solid oak tree to be a man? Men can cry, men can feel, and men can care. What is this BS that men don't cry? They certainly do. When will the world finally realize that brute force is not going to change how a person lives, except to be very cautious aorund ppl all the time. There is no real way you can continue this story, because it was all said and done. This made me cry actually because of the brutality that caused another human being's death. And this goes on not just in stories but in relaity too. And that is not only a crime and morally wrong, but the act of a coward or cowards. Very sad indeed.
"With confidence and forbearance, we will have the strength to move forward."
Love & hugs,
Barbara
"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."
"With confidence and forbearance, we will have the strength to move forward."
Love & hugs,
Barbara
"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."
I'm Slow Or Stupid Or Something
I've only just woken up to the fact that "Nothing Else Matters" and "The Champions" were precursors to this story, and reading them together puts the three episodes into a totally different perspective.
Now I see an unfolding tragedy, a train-wreck in the making. I should have known. This is a powerful story,
Joanne
That story was sad, really
That story was sad, really sad. There really is too little love on this planet.